Page 182 of Scorched Earth (Dark Shores #4)

TERIANA

“There is not much time,” Valerius said to Teriana as he led her down the corridor. “And I suggest you leave the city as soon as you say your piece. Riots are likely, and it will not go well for you if you are caught up in them.”

Teriana gave a small nod, then swiftly adjusted her scarf so that more of her face was concealed.

Her heart was hammering, and though logically she knew that her life was very much in danger, given the building was full of legionnaires, the twist of terror in her belly had nothing to do with threat to her own life.

Valerius made an aggrieved noise. “Where is he?”

“Down one level.”

“Tell him I’ll be along shortly.”

One of his guards, the retired centurion who’d been with Teriana when Hostus had killed her mother, had gone ahead and was speaking to the two legionnaires standing guard outside a door. Both stiffened, their eyes jumping down the corridor to her, but then they nodded.

“You will give her no trouble, understood?” Valerius said to the men as they drew up before them. “She was never here.”

“Yes, sir,” one replied, but the other said, “We know we’re home because of you, Teriana. Alive because of you. The Senate will do their best to erase what you did from the history books, but the Thirty-Seventh will remember.”

She lifted her face to meet his gaze, lost for words because she’d been so certain they’d hate her. “Libertas.”

The legionnaires inclined their heads. “Libertas.”

They opened the door, and Valerius placed a hand on her back and pushed her through.

It shut firmly behind her, the bolt clunking into place, but Teriana barely noticed, her eyes all for the familiar figure standing at the window.

Marcus’s back was to her, his elbows resting on the sill of the window she’d once climbed out of in a bid to rescue her mother.

He wore only undergarments, likely in deference to the extreme heat plaguing Celendrial, the 1519 stark and black on his bare shoulders.

“Felix, they won’t take you seriously as legatus if you keep coming to me for instructions,” he said. “You need—”

“It’s not Felix,” she blurted out. “It’s me.”

Marcus stiffened, then slowly turned. “Teriana?”

His eyes were no longer the voids she’d seen in Revat, but blue-grey.

She’d known that to have come here and done all that he had done, Marcus had to have fought his way out from under the Corrupter’s influence, but seeing him once again as the man she’d fallen in love with was such a relief that Teriana nearly dropped to her knees.

“Yes.” Her palms were like ice yet slick with sweat because she had no idea how he was going to react to seeing her.

No idea how she was going to react to seeing him, because her chest was filled with every possible emotion, all warring against each other, and Teriana had no idea which one would win. “I…”

She trailed off, words failing her. As they seemed to be failing him, because they stood staring at each other in silence, neither of them closing the distance between them.

“Why are you here?” he finally asked.

“Why are you?” Her eyes were burning, tears barely kept in check, because on a string around his neck he wore the miniature replica of the Quincense that he’d given her. That she’d given back when she’d declared war upon him.

Exhaling, he ran a hand over his hair. “Cassius needed to be removed from power. I—”

“I know why you came back to Celendor,” she interrupted, taking a step closer to him. “Lydia told me in her message. Though she didn’t need to, because I know the reasons better than anyone. I’m asking why are you in this cell ?”

“Ah. Well, it’s because—”

“This isn’t right!” She took two more quick steps. “You saved them from Cassius. If you hadn’t come back, they’d still be suffering under his tyranny, and they put you in prison for it?”

“It’s because—”

“And even if they do insist on this lunacy, why aren’t you letting Felix get you out of here?” Another step. “Why won’t you escape? Why did you plead guilty?”

“Because—”

“They’re going to execute you. In the Forum.” Another step. “At the same time as Cassius, like… like you’re the same as him.”

They were within arm’s reach of each other. It felt too close. Too far. A tear rolled down her cheek, and Teriana brushed it away.

“Are you going to let me answer?” Marcus asked, grey-blue eyes filled with a mixture of humor and sadness that nearly undid her.

“No,” she whispered. “Because I know that you’re going to give me a reason I can’t argue against.”

He didn’t reply, and Teriana found she couldn’t meet his gaze, so instead she stared at his chest. Watched the 37 rise and fall with steady breath.

“Teriana, one of the crimes they’re going to execute me for is trying to murder Lydia.”

“I know.” She balled her hands into fists, knowing that there was no justifying her hypocrisy.

What he’d done to Lydia, and the subsequent lies that he’d told, had been one of the biggest hurts she’d ever endured.

Part of her had hated him for it. Had wanted to put a knife through his heart for it.

But this? The Empire meting out his punishment?

That was not the ending she’d sought, and every part of her soul railed against this outcome. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

Marcus reached up and brushed away one of her tears.

“I’m sorry, Teriana. What I did to her was unforgivable, but what I regret most is deceiving you, because there was no motive in it beyond me not wanting to face your hate.

It was selfish and cowardly, and you deserved better from me. And what came after…”

“That was the Corrupter.”

“It wasn’t. It was me.”

Teriana gave a sharp shake of her head. “You were not yourself when we met in Revat, Marcus. The Seventh God was there controlling you.”

“There, yes, but not controlling.” His eyes went distant, remembering.

“After you left, I didn’t want to feel because it hurt too much, and he made that possible.

Allowed me to wall up the part of myself that cared, which left the other part unchecked.

The villain. And every time the part that cared tried to pull down those walls, I’d have to feel the hurt, and the walls would rise up higher than before.

He didn’t make me do anything, only gave strength to the parts of me that served him best.”

The eerie similarities to what Lydia had told her silenced Teriana’s argument that the Corrupter was to blame.

“That’s why I’m here. Not just to be punished for all the things I’ve done, but because the capacity to do the same or worse again is still in me.

A part that whispers, why shouldn’t I order Felix to let me out of this cell?

Why shouldn’t I take back command? Why shouldn’t I overthrow all those men who rule from their hill, because I’d rule the Empire better than they ever could.

Her skin chilled. “Marcus…”

“I’ve spent all my life thinking that I was powerless, but now I know that’s not the case, and I am afraid of what I might do with that knowledge.”

She understood what he was saying, but it still felt like conceding. Like giving up. “Then leave with me. You and I, we’ll go somewhere together. An island in the middle of nowhere. Just not this.”

Marcus turned away from her, going back to the window, silent for a long time before he said, “When we stood on the banks of the Savio and you asked me to leave with you, I… I was going to say yes.”

Her chest tightened to the point she could barely breathe. “You never told me that.”

“There didn’t seem much point given that the decision was made for me.

” Marcus rested his elbows on the windowsill.

“But many times since, I’ve wondered how it would have gone if the Twenty- Ninth hadn’t caught us.

If we’d abandoned everything to hide somewhere where no one knew our names.

But in every vision of that future, you always found out about Lydia.

You always turned on me because I could never outrun justice. So I won’t try now.”

“But you are being executed for things you were forced to do.” Teriana pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, trying to contain her tears. “You were blackmailed.”

“Those are the reasons the Empire will execute me, but they aren’t the only reasons I deserve to die.

In truth, they are the least significant.

” He drew in a deep breath. “Gamdesh will never be the same because of me. Nor Chersome nor Bardeen nor any other nation I’ve invaded.

Thousands dead. Hundreds of thousands without homes.

Revat is destroyed and the greatest monuments to the Six in ruins because I willed it so.

If the Senate hanged me a thousand times, it would not be sufficient punishment. ”

“Punishment won’t undo the past.” The Six help her, Teriana knew her words were selfish. Self-serving. That the world should condemn her for saying them. “It won’t change anything.”

A lie, because it would change everything.

Marcus turned around, and when she saw his eyes liquid with unshed tears, her control cracked. “Please don’t do this, Marcus. Please find another way.”

His hand curved around the side of her face, and she leaned into his touch, familiar even after their time apart. In truth, she’d recognize the feel of his hand when she was old and grey, if given the chance. But there’d be no more chances.

“The world has suffered in a way that it hasn’t in living memory,” he said softly. “People need to see heroes like you and Lydia triumph so that they have hope. But they also need to see villains like me face justice.”

“I am no one’s hero.”

“How can you say that when you struck the blow that changed the tide of the war? How can you say that when you united nations in order to fight back against their oppressors? How can you say that when it was you who put the Empire on the back foot for the first time in generations?” He tipped her face up so that she was looking into his eyes.

“Real heroes aren’t pristine. They’re covered in blood and muck from fighting on the front lines.

You fought well, Teriana, but most importantly, you kept fighting, even when it hurt. ”

It still hurt.

Would always hurt.

From their first moments, they’d been on opposing sides. Enemies, in every possible way. Destined to end badly. But not once had she imagined that it would end because they were finally standing on the same side.

A knock sounded through the door, and Felix called, “It’s time.”

No! Her heart screamed the word, but she refused to allow it to pass her lips, because she knew Marcus would not be swayed. Knew that she shouldn’t try because it would diminish his sacrifice. And her own.

“Marcus, I’ve given you as long as I could,” Felix called. “They’re taking Cassius to the Forum now.”

“Just… wait,” he called back.

Not yet.

Marcus lowered his head and kissed her. The thrill of it was the same as it had been the first time, perhaps because she knew it would be the last.

“I wish I had more time.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “Time to say all the things I should’ve said before.”

“Say them now.” Her face was slick with tears, the words torn out between sobs.

“Marcus!”

“I love you, Teriana.” He kissed her again. “To my last breath, I will love you.”

Teriana couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t speak.

Every part of her felt broken, and she clung to his neck, not willing to let go.

But then Marcus was tugging her arms loose.

Pulling a plain white tunic over his head and belting it with a cord.

Then he hammered a fist against the door, and Felix immediately opened it.

Yet instead of leaving, Marcus gripped her shoulders. “Live, Teriana.” His fingers tightened. “And please don’t watch me die.”

Then he was gone.