Page 38 of Save Me

He pulled away with a pained expression. “I’m not going to fall for that again.”

I smiled a little. “I’m not trying to escape.”

“Yes, you are.” He brushed his thumb across my bottom lip. “You’re kissing me to drown out your demons.”

“No. I—”

“I know what it’s like to use someone as a distraction,” he cut me off. “I don’t want to be a distraction to you. I want you to kiss me because you want to kiss me.”

“I do want to kiss you.”

He looked so torn, his lips hovering inches above mine. “I’ve been where you are—I’ve been you in this situation—and I wish the other person stopped me.”

My eyes never leaving his, I asked, “What?”

“If I kiss you right now, you’ll soon find out that kissing isn’t enough to tune out the world. The next stop is sex, and you’ll discover, for a short time, how good it’ll make you feel. To someone who feels like their life is falling apart, that’s appealing. But it’s just fucking. There’s no intimacy to it. Just two bodies riding each other until they reach the finish line.”

I blushed. Maybe I had tried to use him a little. Now that he’d pointed that out, I’d be sure to never do it again. I didn’t just want to have sex. I didn’t want sex like that with them. I wanted the passion and connection.

His eyes lit up with relief and he smiled as he stroked my cheek. “There you are.”

I huffed, trying not to smile.

Someone cleared their throat. We both looked up. Knox was staring down at us. He looked from me to Keelan.

Keelan grinned at his brother. “You still have no room to judge.”

“You could have picked a better place to do whatever it is that you two are doing,” Knox said, and it was then that I noticed he was carrying three gym bags, one of them being mine.

Keelan’s brows rose and he opened his mouth to argue.

“Don’t bring up what happened in the kitchen,” I said, knowing that was what he was going to throw back in Knox’s face. I began trying to scoot out from underneath Keelan. He climbed off me and I was able to get to my feet. “I’m guessing it’s time to go?” I asked Knox as I held my hand out for my bag.

Knox looked from my hand to me. “Go get your shoes.”

I didn’t argue and headed over to the cubbies.

After Keelan and I got our shoes on, the three of us made our way back to the front of the gym.

“Colt and Creed are going to meet us for dinner,” Knox announced as we approached the front desk. Derek was still there, reclined back in the office chair with his fingers laced behind his head.

“Sounds good. Where are we eating?” Keelan asked.

When I didn’t hear Knox answer, I glanced back at them over my shoulder. They stared at me expectantly.

“Where do you want to eat, baby girl?” Keelan asked.

I thought about it. “Somewhere I can get a milkshake.”

“The diner by the house it is,” Keelan said.

“Heading out?” Derek asked us as we walked by.

“Yeah, but before we go,” Keelan said, grabbing my hand. “This is Shiloh. Shiloh, this is Derek. Derek will be manning the front desk until we can find a replacement.”

Derek smiled at me. “We’ve met, actually.”

“I’ve already talked to him,” Knox said to Keelan.