Page 38

Hailey

The siren blares so loud in this tiny, strobing cell that I'm sure my hearing is being permanently damaged.

Not that it matters much, considering I might spend the rest of my life here.

I grit my teeth and lean against the wall, letting warm water run over my hands despite the assault on my eardrums. The cell is so cold my hands had turned red.

My head pounds and nausea rises as I reach the trade-off point—my hands finally warm, but the siren becoming unbearable.

I move from the sink to the bed, which is nothing more than a sick joke since they won't let me lie in it.

I sit at the edge, exactly where they want me: legs uncrossed, back straight, spirit ruined.

I open my mouth to scream at them to stop the strobing light and painful alarm, but they're satisfied seeing me back in position before I can protest.

A hollow ringing fills the silence .

I glare at the camera on the white wall, wondering who's monitoring it. Who's watching me suffer? They have a rotation of guards watching twenty-four-seven, but I wish I knew when they took breaks. Then I could steal small naps.

I don't know how long I've been here.

And I don't know how much more I can take.

My guess is more than a day, less than a week. But it's impossible to know for sure in this windowless cell.

I can use the sink—even the toilet—to drink, but they aren't feeding me or letting me sleep. Surprisingly, the sleep deprivation affects me more; I don't even feel hungry anymore. My thoughts loop incoherently, and shadow figures dance in my peripheral vision.

I sit and wait until unconsciousness takes me without warning, then the horrible alarm jolts me awake.

And the cycle repeats endlessly.

Time passes until my cell door opens. This is only the second visit.

The first was a guard who hit my mouth for pounding and screaming at the door too long, before the siren had worn me down.

I lick my lip, still tasting copper. It hasn't healed, and I wonder if this could help me track time.

My mind feels like jelly as I try to piece thoughts together until I forget what I was trying to figure out.

"Hailey."

I blink and Dad stands before me.

He looms overhead. The blue eyes that once brought childhood comfort now radiate danger and hatred .

I knew he'd be angry, but I expected some relief that I was back. Maybe even love. But that's too greedy.

I cry, angry at showing weakness, but this place has crushed the strength I felt during the car ride here.

"You should be ashamed of yourself," he growls.

I nod, still crying. Should I be ashamed? I had every right to leave, but his presence makes me question everything.

"Running off like a whore." His face flushes with rage. "And when they sent Kaiser back... mutilated nearly beyond recognition."

Beyond recognition? I knew they tortured him, but my mind races trying to imagine his final moments.

"No, I didn't know they'd..." I stammer. "Kaiser tried to... I didn't think that..."

His slap cuts me off. Not as hard as the guard's hit however long ago, but the sting cuts deeper. He's never struck me before.

I know my actions angered him, but he's changed these past few years. His beliefs have grown more radical. His sympathy has vanished. He barely gets along with Mom anymore.

"Go to Hell, you fucking fraud." My body shakes as I finally stand up to him.

He steps back, unused to backtalk, especially insults to his leadership.

It takes only moments for him to recover before lunging, throwing me against the wall. I flinch at his closeness and his grip crushing my arms .

"After that comment?" he hisses. "If you so much as look at me wrong, Max Calabrese is dead. And whatever those animals did to Kaiser will be nothing—nothing—compared to what I'll do to him."

My body collapses at the threat. Bile rises as I sob harder. I should have known better than to speak to him that way. I figured they knew where I was staying.

"I'm sorry," I manage before he releases me and points to the bed.

My legs give out, so I drag myself over and sit.

He gives one final hard look before leaving me alone. To wait. And worry. And continue losing my mind.