Page 10

Hailey

I rub my fingers on the fabric of a bright red dress, then look through the rack to find my size. I’m usually drawn to cooler colors, but I’ve walked past this rack three times now thinking about it. I have to try it on.

I find my size and pull it off the rack then turn around and get Savannah’s attention. “What do you think of this one?”

“Umm, yes! You’d look gorgeous in that!”

I don’t know why I’m trying to build up the courage to simply try on a new outfit. I think it’s just been so long since I’ve done something normal like shopping that all of this seems so strange.

I stand next to Savannah as she combs through a rack. She pulls out a black mini-dress and practically glares at it. “I think I already have this one. But I don’t know.... I really should take pictures of everything I own. I keep buying duplicates and I’m already out of closet space.”

I run my hand across the fabric. The dress is shorter than I’d typically wear and it has a deep v-neck. “Do you think this is too much for work?” I ask.

She pauses her incessant gum-chewing to look at the dress once more, then snorts. “That is not too much. Some girls show up in something that’s closer to lingerie than an outfit. As long as you feel confident and comfortable, that’s all that matters. And besides, I think Max would love that dress.”

Savannah has made it embarrassingly clear that I’m attracted to him. If that wasn’t bad enough, she even gave him my new phone number. He checked in with me to make sure I was still doing well after that violent first night, but I’m sure he’s just doing his job.

“Max is going to be working tonight, right?” I ask, trying to sound as casual as possible.

She smiles and raises her eyebrows. “Yes.”

Another question has been on my mind, but this one isn’t as mortifying. “And Jason is banned, right?”

She takes a step back and furrows her brow. “I sure hope so. He’s dead.”

“Wait! He died?” I look around the shop, realizing how loud I said that. Only a couple of teenagers look up at us and giggle to themselves .

She nods, moving closer to whisper. “Johnny blurted it out to me when I swung by his house this morning. Jason died soon after... you know.”

“He never went to the hospital?”

“No.” She tilts her head. “He died in the penthouse.”

I continue walking to the dressing room, feeling deflated. He lied so easily to me a few days ago. I mean, it’s not the worst lie in the world; he was probably just trying to protect me but I can’t help feeling weird about it.

I step into the red dress with less enthusiasm than I would have a moment ago.

I check what I look like in it at all angles and decide I’m going to buy this and wear it tonight.

I don’t even feel the need to try on the other ones.

I sigh and make eye contact with myself in the mirror.

I look old. At twenty-three, I know I’m not old, but mirrors were rare in the barracks so I could never look at myself.

Combined with working too hard and not getting enough sleep during that time, I feel like that perky twenty-year-old I used to be is so far away.

“How does it fit?” Savannah calls out to me from the other side of the dressing room door.

I swallow and force a smile even though she can’t see me, trying to get into a better mood. “It’s great! I’m going to buy it for tonight.”

“Atta girl.”

We continue shopping for another couple of hours.

I only buy a pair of shoes to match my new dress along with some basic things like jeans and t-shirts and decide that I should really save the rest of my money.

Savannah keeps spending her tip money. I wish I had the financial security to be so carefree, but at least I’m no longer worried about food and shelter.

I do a decent enough job of steering the conversation away from my personal life to hers and I don’t think she picks up on that; she’s happy to talk my ear off about her life.

The last store we go to before we need to get back to her apartment to feed her dog, Teddy, is this adorable boutique.

There’s only a few racks of clothes, but some pieces look unique and bolder than the last shop we were in.

Savannah is on first name basis with the owner and introduces me to her then gossips about someone I don’t know.

Tired from holding all of my bags, I decide to take a seat at the edge of the store and relax until she’s finished.

I zone out for a while, giving Savannah space to catch up with her friend. I never knew shopping could be so exhausting. My gaze meanders over to my left at the store window, and I think I’m looking at two mannequins when one of them moves.

Then I realize I recognize one of them. Kaiser Moore.

The icy, lifeless eyes. The gray, almost-white hair. And the slow, sadistic smile that creeps across his face as our eyes meet. My mind flashes back to the last time I saw him—when I punched him in the face and ran away outside the hotel, hoping never to see him again.

He’s the head of the corrections department for VOE.

Fortunately, I’ve never been on the receiving end of one of Kaiser’s punishments.

But one of my former office mates, Miranda, wasn’t so lucky.

When I first started working in the recruiting office, I overheard my superiors discussing someone skimming money from new recruits, overcharging and pocketing the difference—the same dangerous scheme I used to save up money to escape.

I don’t know if Miranda was truly guilty, but soon after that conversation, Kaiser appeared in our office with the same psychopathic smile he’s wearing right now in the store window.

He took her away, leaving her desk empty for days.

Months later, I found her struggling, mopping the floor of a women’s bathroom.

Most of her fingers were gone, and she wore the orange smocks required for those in the rehabilitation program.

It’s not her injury or her hopeless eyes that keep me up at night—it’s my actions when I found her.

I was still brainwashed, convinced she deserved her punishment for stealing.

To make matters worse, I kicked over her mop bucket, dirtying the freshly cleaned floor.

My morals were so twisted that the cult had me believing anyone in the program was subhuman and deserved their misery.

Some of my past actions haunt me, and since leaving, I’ve questioned whether I deserve to be in the real world. But there’s no time for self-flagellation when fear and self-preservation are in control.

I drop the shopping bags, staring at Kaiser. Surely, they can’t kidnap me in broad daylight at the mall, but if they drag me back to the compound, I’ll face a fate worse than Miranda’s.

I don’t recognize the man beside Kaiser. Shorter in stature, with eyes so dark they look black, he mimics Kaiser’s expression as he stares back at me. Clearly in training, he’s not nearly as menacing as his superior.

“Ready?” Savannah chirps. I hadn’t realized she’d crossed in front of me. I squeak and jump in my seat.

She giggles. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

“No.” I gesture towards the window. “It wasn’t you. Those guys are freaking me out.”

Kaiser’s eyes flick to Savannah, a look of confusion crossing his face as he tries to figure out who she is.

“Fucking perverts. Let’s get out of here.”

My heart races as we leave the store. I brace for them to call my name or grab me, but they remain still, just staring.

Savannah flips them off, then links her arm with mine. “Where are mall cops when you need them?”

We quicken our pace, leaving the mall. I keep glancing back, but it doesn’t seem like they’re following us. Savannah appears to have already dismissed the encounter. From her perspective, it was just another instance of being ogled—not an unusual experience for women.

My eyes are glued to the side mirror during the drive home. A beat-up red van follows us, but I know they wouldn’t use such an old vehicle to track me. I lean forward, trying to glimpse the cars behind it, but it’s impossible from this angle.

“I really shouldn’t have told you about that,” Savannah mutters, almost as if talking to herself. “You’re still thinking about it, aren’t you?”

“Told me what? ”

“About Jason.”

Right. On top of wondering if I’m being stalked, I’m grappling with the revelation that Max killed Jason and lied to me, all while trying to stay composed around Savannah. “It’s no big deal.”

“No big deal?” Savannah snaps. “You don’t even drink, but watching someone get beaten to death in front of you is no big deal?”

I shouldn’t have said that.

“No... my stomach is killing me right now, and that’s overshadowing everything else.”

“Oh, that explains why you’re doubled over like that.”

I lean back at her comment, surrendering to the view outside the window.

“I have some Pepto back at my apartment. Think you’ll be better by the time our shift starts tonight?”

“Yeah.” A car passes us on the right, and I make awkward eye contact with the driver. Not Kaiser. “I should be better by then."