Page 21
That warm breath on his lips made him feel like he was breaking apart. From being frozen solid to have heat given him so closely, the whisper on his lips alone was cracking the ice and soon he’d shatter.
“Yes, Dixon.”
Pressing his lips to Jovian’s, Dixon took a fistful of Jovian’s hair and held him still while he took full advantage, kissing him solidly, passionately, and while that dominant kiss rocked him, Jovian felt for the first time that he was truly wanted.
The beautiful world around them closed in, wrapping the two up in a protective arm.
Dixon had great lips, and when the kiss was perfect, with their tongues clashing, Jovian knew he’d never have a first kiss like that again. It was…well, it was damn perfect.
“Better?” Dixon whispered on his lips.
“I…yeah. Better.”
“Good boy. Now, let’s eat.”
That praise, it shook him as Dixon pulled away. Sure, he’d had praise all his life, his mother gushing over him, always, but from someone that didn’t have to make things up to be proud of, that praise meant a lot.
Dixon shoveled vegetables onto Jovian’s plate. “I’ll never be able to eat that much!”
“You’re too skinny, and I know you think that’s a positive, it’s not. Don’t eat junk but eat food.”
“Okay,” was all he could say. Well, that wasn’t true. He could say any number of snotty retorts, but he didn’t want to. Not with Dixon. “Your name…it’s really interesting.”
“Dixon?”
“No, your first name.”
“Oh! Cherokee. Well, I am. Cherokee, that is. My mom is nearly half. My dad’s mostly English and Scottish, which is where I get my beard.”
“I don’t know what I am.”
“Well, I’d guess at least a little Italian by your last name,” he commented as he set a chicken breast on Jovian’s plate. While he was opening the wine, he added, “And, you look it, too. Dark hair and eyes, the olive coloring on your skin.”
“Olive? Like…like green?”
“Yes, Jovian. Haven’t you ever noticed?”
Haughtily, he said, “Um, if I ever look green, it’s after having too many cosmos at the club.”
Then Dixon laughed, and it was hearty and warm. “Okay, okay, not green.”
“Thank you.”
After Dixon handed him the wine, he made a toast. “To the first of, hopefully, many dates.”
Jovian clinked his glass gently with Dixon and then drank, letting the wine light his tastebuds. “So, your own wine, is it good?”
“It’s good, but like I said, it’s pretty potent. A glass is all you need for the night.”
“Will you let me try it, if…if we get past this date?”
“Worried?”
Jovian was scared to death, but he wouldn’t admit that even to himself. “No.”
“Well, then, yes. I will let you try it. I’ll let you try my beer too, if you’d like.”
“No! Beer is for…” he was about to say neanderthals, but he didn’t want to offend the man. “Not for me.”
“Well, you might like mine. It’s more like the beer from Europe. Dark, hearty, fruity.”
“I’ll try a sip.”
“Thank you.”
They ate slowly, Jovian enjoying all the vegetables he was given. The tomatoes were sweet as candy, the carrots too, and then the strips of celery were surprisingly flavorful. Then there was the chicken. It was moist and crispy, perfectly seasoned. “You cooked this?”
“True’s recipe, but yes, I enjoy cooking.”
“You’re good at it.”
“Thank you, Jovian. I was sure you wouldn’t like it.”
“Why?”
“No offense, but this is a rather simple meal, and you seem to like things that are anything but simple.”
It wasn’t a lie. “I like things that are a little pricey, sure. But this isn’t simple, Dixon. Simple would be if you threw some flour on a raw piece of chicken and fried it.”
“Oh, well, then great. I use spices. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be popular with my friends. All of them like flavor and we all love food.”
“You are determined to make me fat.”
“Stop body shaming. I’m guessing your metabolism is still high. Your age and build, you’ll be thin for a long time, and forever, if you just exercise.”
“I, uh…hate exercise.”
“I noticed. You looked like you were having a heart attack while you were hiking,” Dixon said, laughing. “But you did it. You’re stubborn.”
“Guilty. So are you, I can tell!”
“I am. I’m not denying it. If I weren’t, I’d never have gotten through living out here. Sometimes, especially in the winter, it can be a hardship.”
“It can?”
His voice just vibrated through every cell in Jovian’s body, and his eyes just chilled him, but in good ways. The kiss was still on Jovian’s lips, pulsing there, reminding him of how good it felt.
“Jovian, you know this, but not from me. I think you’re beautiful.”
Jovian’s shock was complete. He’d been told he was beautiful all his life, but not from a man that he genuinely cared for. “I…I am?”
“Yes. When you smile, the real smile, not your Instagram smile, you’re even more beautiful.”
“Instagram smile? What’s that?”
“That fake one that makes your lips purse like you just got injected with collagen.”
His own hand slapped over his mouth as his humiliation took over his brain. Dixon gently moved his hand as he said, “It’s still a pretty smile, but your real one is much better.”
“Oh! Well, don’t do that to me! Do you know how long it would take me to pull down all my selfies?”
Dixon laughed in that deep, sexy way he had. “I’m sure it would be a minute.”
“A million minutes,” he said, but he laughed when he thought of it. “Maybe I take too many.”
“Don’t be sorry about it. If it made you happy, then it was a good thing.”
Jovian had never experienced someone so understanding. “Where…where did you come from? You really like me, don’t you?”
“Honey, I told you I like you. I wasn’t lying. Did you think I was lying?”
“No, but…not exactly, but…”
Dixon moved their plates away and then crawled over to him until he could sit and hold Jovian, moving Jovian’s head to his shoulder. “You’re just a little sweet baby, aren’t you? Don’t worry. I can be your daddy and take care of you.”
Jovian’s tears were hot. They burned his face as they fell, but like the knight in shining armor he was, Dixon swiped them off Jovian’s cheeks. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m not,” he protested, then sniffed loudly. “It’s very dusty out here.”
“Oh, okay. I’m glad you cleared that up, but you know, Jovian, I’d like a sweet baby like you to be truthful with me, so I know what you need from me.”
“I need…I need nothing,” he said before he broke into big, ugly sobs that made him hide his face in Dixon’s shoulder, for fear of him seeing that ugly crying.
Dixon held him, rocking him and kissing his temple. “It’s okay. Cry it out.”
“I’m not crying,” he yelled into Dixon’s big, muscled shoulder. “I’m…having a moment, okay?”
“Okay. You have your moment.”
“You’re so very condescending!”
All his words were terribly muffled, but he yelled them loudly enough that Dixon heard. He didn’t laugh. That was the thing. He wasn’t laughing at Jovian. He didn’t back away from the emotions. That was rare and wonderful on its own.
When his crying subsided, he was embarrassed, but Dixon wouldn’t let him be for long. After handing him a napkin to wipe his nose and eyes, he laid him on the blanket and laid beside Jovian, on his side, staring down at him, smiling sweetly. “Feel a little better?”
“I don’t know why.”
“Sometimes, we just have so much going on inside of us, it comes out in ways we weren’t expecting. I feel like crying whenever I go hiking, and see a wildflower pushing through the spring snow, or see a rabbit with the new babies around their den.
“So many things trigger our tears, and the thing is, Jovian, if we cry more over the good things in life than the bad, we’re living a good life.”
“You see things so…good. I don’t hear you complaining, like…at all, even though the camp is failing.”
He hadn’t meant to say that. It just slipped. Dixon wasn’t shocked, he knew. “Did someone tell you that?”
“A…friend, he overheard it. Is it true?”
“We’re working on it, Jovian. It’s nothing you need to worry over.
I promise, we’ll figure it out, one way or another.
If we have to, we’ll move the camp. I don’t have a sizeable chunk of land, and none of us have the money to build cabins like we’d need, but we could start out in tents.
We’ll figure something out. I don’t want you to have to worry over it. ”
“Why would I be worried? I was forced to come. I’m sure you know that.”
“I do, but, Jovian, you’ve changed. If I were to believe my friends, you were quite the nightmare, but now?
You’ve been taken out of your comfort zone and shown another path, another way to live.
You act like you hate it, but you’re smiling a real smile now, whereas when you came, it was so fake, if you smiled at all. ”
“In my defense, I was forced to come, but, well, I will say you’re lying if you repeat this, but maybe it’s not as bad as I suspected.” He winced as he said it, but he was granted another kiss for the confession.
And not just a kiss. While Dixon pulled away, he whispered, “Good boy.”
Trembling, Jovian pulled him down into his arms, holding Dixon there on top of him for a long time. He was heated, freezing, shivering and sweating, and he had no idea how one man could make him feel that way. “Stop making me want to cry,” he croaked, and then he did it. He cried again.
Dixon pulled away, but not far. “I didn’t do anything.”
“You like me.”
“Yeah. And?”
“I…I like you. I like you a lot, and, well, you shouldn’t like me. Nobody likes me!”
Dixon’s smile was patient and sweet, and his thumb rubbed a tear away. “A lot of people like you, Jovian.”
“My real name is Kyle. I…didn’t like it, so I had it changed.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” he asked, then pushed him away, rolled over and got to his knees, then feet and started yelling, “What the hell does that mean? Okay? I’m an asshole because I changed my name. I look down on everyone and I’m mean! How the hell could you possibly like me?”
Dixon hadn’t moved except to roll over onto his back, setting an arm under his head. “Maybe I see past all that shit. Do ya think?”
“How?”
“Like I said, Jovian, Kyle, whatever you want to be called, you’re not as mysterious as you seem to think you are.
All the makeup, the fancy clothes, the rudeness, it’s all the same thing.
A big barrier between you and the rest of the people in the world.
Most of it anyway. Some of it’s real, because you don’t seem to know better. ”
“How do you see me?”
“I see a beautiful, insecure man that needs someone to care about him.”
Jovian sat back on the blanket and stared at Dixon, shock taking the words from his mind.
Dixon reached up to cup his cheek, rubbing his thumb there to chase more of the tears.
“You’re a dick sometimes. But other times, I could just hold you, take care of you.
You wanted a rich daddy. What you need to ask yourself, Jovian, is if you could handle having a not-so-rich one. As in, not rich at all.”
In all his dreams, he’d pictured himself sunning by a pool that was next to a gloriously big house, where he could have an entire wing just for his clothes and accessories. His vanity would be the length of the room, and he’d sit there for hours planning his daily outfits while doing skin care.
Jovian’s head turned, and he saw what he’d get if he gave up on that dream. Mountains, lakes, forests and…Dixon.
“Maybe you are rich, though. You’re just a different kind of rich.”
“So, you can tell your friends back home you have the rich daddy you always wanted.”
Again, the guy surprised him. “I’m really not that mysterious! That’s unnerving.”
After barking a deep laugh, he asked, “Why is that unnerving?”
“When you go through your life thinking, you’re deep and unknowable, well, it’s unnerving having someone I barely met read me like a children’s book.”
“Yeah, well, maybe you just had to find someone that wanted to open the cover and look inside.”
Jovian eyed him suspiciously. “Are we talking about sex now?”
“God,” he said, laughing heartily. “You’re fucking funny.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21 (Reading here)
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39