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“It would hurt him?” Jovian suddenly felt something in his chest that he barely recognized. Deep concern for another person. “I don’t want to…I can’t even…”

The other two stopped and turned to Jovian. Alan whispered, “He won’t die or anything.”

“Yeah, Jovian, I’m sure he’ll be fine, just sad.”

“Well, he shouldn’t ever be sad! Like…like ever! He should literally be happy all the time!”

“Jovian, are you…in love with him?” Mike asked.

“What? Are you insane? I barely know the man,” he lied as he pushed through them to stomp toward the cabin.

“Wow, he’s got it bad,” Jovian heard Mike say, and while every instinct in him wanted him to turn and fight about it, he had few friends at the camp, and he knew he’d only push them away if he told them off.

Not that he truly considered them friends, but…they were…friends?

It was becoming too much, and he didn’t want to think about stuff like that.

“Jovian, stop,” Alan said in a harsh whisper.

“What?” he asked after spinning to face them. Mike grabbed his hand and yanked him toward the trees.

“He’s coming!”

“Dixon?”

“Yes! Do you want him to know you were spying on him?”

“I wasn’t! That’s rude!”

“Shh!”

They hunkered down in the bushes as they watched Dixon jogging by, his ass flexing under his cotton shorts, his huffed breaths coming out like a bear running through the woods.

Jovian watched, transfixed on him, and he wiped the saliva from the corner of his mouth.

Damn, the man made him shiver and drool.

“That was close. What the hell would we have said?” Mike asked.

“That Jovian’s got the hots for him and wanted to check out his future home,” Alan answered simply.

“You’re just a riot today, Alan,” Jovian said as he brushed off his clothes of the leaves and dirt from hiding.

“Jovian, you like the man, and it’s obvious. Stop stressing about it. So, he’s not the type of guy you thought you’d go for.”

“I…” He wanted to argue that, but there was no argument. It was very true. He wasn’t rich. He didn’t live in a big house in a gated community. He lived in an off-the-grid cabin in the middle of nowhere. Just to go to lunch or for a day of beauty, he’d have to drive hours…if he lived with Dixon.

Lived with him. As he walked with the others back to the camp, he barely saw the vistas of absolute serenity. The clouds hanging just over the peaks to the south of the lake, the green of the pine and spruce and the purple and yellow of the wildflowers.

The trail itself was well-worn and narrow, but on either side were stones that were bright gray and white, tall grasses that swayed in the perfect breeze.

All the things that were alive around Dixon, in a perfect world for…for him. For Jovian?

“Listen, Jovian,” Alan said as Mike jogged ahead to collect Kathy from her ceramic class.

“We’re giving you a hard time, sure. It’s what friends do, but I get it.

I’m in love, and I know the look and I know how scary it can be.

Dixon may not be the kind of guy you thought you’d fall for, but he’s not someone you would be ashamed of being with, right?

Just because he’s not like you or not like you thought of when you thought of a guy? ”

“No, I’d never be ashamed of him. Ever. He’s not like…like I thought. Do I really love him?”

“Don’t you know?”

“How would I? I’ve never been in love before. I’ve barely had crushes.”

“Wow. That’s…wild.”

The sympathy in Alan’s dark eyes. He couldn’t take that. He wanted no one’s pity. “It’s fine. I…I just want to fuck him, that’s all.”

“Jovian, why would you want to see where he lived, if that’s all you wanted?”

“I don’t know! What are you, some lawyer? Am I on trial?”

“Not at all. I just want you to know how you feel before you try harder for him. I don’t think he’s a casual kind of guy. If he falls for you, just don’t hurt him.”

With that, Alan walked to the Mess Hall, and Jovian stood in the middle of the camp, confused. Hurt him? How could he ever hurt a guy like Dixon? He wasn’t anything. No other guy had ever wanted him past the fun he could have with Jovian. There was no way to hurt him.

That was when Jovian got a good look at the camp that Dixon so loved. The buildings were nothing much, just log cabins, a little shabby looking, but nice enough. The rows of them went far down the dirt path, and they were all perfectly similar.

When he walked by the firepits that were closer to the lake than the cabins, he saw people around them, laughing, enjoying the company of others, even without the fires lit.

There were some in the shade, others basking in the sun, and over in the lake, other campers were in boats and canoes, splashing around, having a quiet, good time.

Smiles. Real, authentic smiles. They were everywhere, and the faces that weren’t smiling were solemn and peaceful. The sun reflected on them; the breezes blowing to cool them. There was no judgement, no fear, and most of all, no mocking meanness he’d come to expect.

Ciana proudly wore her bitchiness like a fur coat, keeping her warm. Her eyes were always narrowed as she waited for the next person she could shame in some way.

When Jovian got to his bunk, he lay on it, feeling hot tears rolling past his temples and into his hair.

That didn’t last long, though. Someone was knocking on the door of the cabin, and he was annoyed there was not a soul inside to answer it, so he had to do it.

As he threw open the door, he almost swallowed his tongue. He was so shocked to see Dixon. “Hey, are you alone?”

“Y-yeah,” he said as he looked into those light eyes and shivered all over again, even if the day was particularly warm.

“Can I come in and talk to you a sec?”

“Sure, yeah.”

Dixon came into the cabin and leaned against the wall.

God, he looked good doing that. Casual, strong, his body just…

covered with muscles and that little fur that stuck out over the collar of his tank top.

“I, uh, saw your name on the sheet. Do you really want to do the advanced survival course, or is it…for some other reason, you signed up?”

Those crystal light eyes just sparkled, and a smile played on his dark, full lips as he waited for Jovian to answer.

Choosing his words was harder than he thought, so he chose some that didn’t commit him one way or another. “Can I say that I’d rather not say?”

Dixon snorted a laugh. “Yeah, you can. Jovian, the only reason I worry is that…well, this isn’t foreplay between the two of us.

It’s real. It’s a real survival course. I expect a lot of campers not to pay attention to the beginner’s course.

It’s mandatory, so they flake off about it, but this isn’t that.

It’s an actual course, and if you don’t pay attention, you could get hurt.

You could get lost, and…I don’t want to see that. ”

He was at a loss for what to say. He wanted to be wherever Dixon was. He was pulled to him, hard. To think of his being gone for however long the course lasted, the survival camping trip…

“I want to do this. I do. Alan’s going to be there, and he’s my buddy, so…He wouldn’t let me get hurt. He’s kind of…I mean he’s…”

“A friend?”

For the first time, he could admit that vocally, though he could no longer look Dixon in the eye. “Yeah. Yeah, he’s my friend.”

“Good,” Dixon whispered and lifted his chin again, waiting for Jovian’s eyes to meet his. When they did, a shiver ran through Jovian. “I’ll be there too. Like I said, though, this isn’t foreplay or a date. As much as, well, maybe I’d like that.”

“What about before we go? Can we maybe, I don’t know, go on a date or something?”

“Yeah. I’d like that. A lot, Jovian. I’d like that a lot.”