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They went together to the dance, and Kathy’s date was waiting outside the Mess Hall for her with a bunch of wildflowers in his hand. “Don’t tell anyone. I picked these on state land.”

Jovian winked at her, then went inside the Mess Hall to find his own guy.

His own guy. Was Dixon his?

Jovian began to smile, and the feel of it, the curving of his lips, the feeling of security and freedom at once, he’d never felt that way. It was so good.

The Mess Hall looked a lot different, as all the tables and benches were pushed to the walls and had cheerfully checkered tablecloths over them.

As the centerpieces were small old-fashioned milk cans on top with what looked like weeds, grasses and tiny purple flowers that were seen plentiful around the camp.

There was a table set up with refreshments, the lights were half as bright as usual, and there was music playing, a steady, cheerful tune he didn’t recognize. Alan and Mike jogged over to him and said, “Did they do a great job?”

Jovian thought he could have done much better, but he was impressed enough not to stamp on their happiness. “It’s very nice. Have you seen Dixon?”

Alan nodded and jerked his head to the right. “Over there. I think he’s waiting for you.”

A few people went out into the center of the hall to dance, and Jovian watched Dixon smiling over at him.

Immediately, he got the chills, and they ran up his arms and down his back. “Go,” Mike said. “Go talk to the man.”

“I am. I don’t want to look desperate.”

“God,” Alan groaned. “Just go before someone else asks him to dance.”

“He wouldn’t! Would he?”

“If only not to be rude, yeah!”

Jovian’s fear struck him in the chest, and he found it hard to breathe. Heading over, his hand on his throat, he feared with every step he took Dixon would be in the arms of another guy and on the dance floor.

But Jovian made it in time, stepping right to Dixon, who gazed down at him with a twitch of the corners of his lips. “Hey, Jovian.”

“Hi. I know we didn’t say when we would have a date, but if you’d like, we could have our first one now.”

“I can’t,” he moaned. “And it’s not because I don’t want to, but I’m on duty tonight. I have to be clearheaded, and for some reason, you muddle me.”

Jovian loved that. “Oh? I do, huh?”

“Yeah. How about we go on a picnic tomorrow around lunchtime? I know a place that is so beautiful, it’ll take your breath away.”

“That sounds yummy. Okay, say one?”

“One. And even though we can’t call this a date, that doesn’t stop me from asking you to dance.”

Jovian peered over his shoulder to see only eight people on the dance floor.

Any night at the club, he’d never step out to dance until there was barely any room to move.

That was the way he had always done it, but meeting the people at the camp, he was doing a lot he’d never done.

“Well, after you, though, I do not know what this music is.”

“This is Journey. You’ve never heard of Journey?”

“What kind of song is called Journey?”

“Not the song, it’s the…never mind. Come and dance, you little fucker.”

Dixon grabbed his hand and almost yanked him onto the dance floor, and Jovian was swooning like mad as his show of complete dominance. Talk about a leather daddy in a cotton T-shirt and jeans. Dixon didn’t need the leather to hold that persona.

He grabbed Jovian into his arms and swayed to the music as he stared down into Jovian’s eyes. “You look great tonight, if I hadn’t said it.”

Jovian fluttered his thick eyelashes. “I might have put on a little makeup.”

“Oh, really? For me?”

“Yeah, who else?”

Dixon’s voice was gruff and never rose above a low decibel, but he didn’t need to be loud to be heard. His voice went right through Jovian. “Better not be anyone else. I’m pretty possessive.”

Jovian couldn’t even speak after that. A secret wish of his had always been to be with a man that wanted only him, that wanted Jovian all to himself. Possessive, maybe not crazy like, but enough that he’d want Jovian to just be his.

“Possessive?”

“Is that a problem?”

Jovian felt the tears gathering in his eyes, so he looked away as he willed them away. “No,” he croaked and hated his voice for betraying his emotion.

“Jovian, look at me.”

He did, but it wasn’t easy. “Yeah?”

“I do like you, okay? I get this feeling that you don’t quite believe it, which goes against that…that ego you pretend to have.”

“Pretend?”

“Yeah. Be real with me. That’s all I can ask. Be real and forget other guys. If we’re together, we’re together. Okay?”

“Are we now?”

“No,” Dixon answered quickly. “It’s a little early for that. But in time, we’ll see where and how this goes, and if we think it’s worth it, we’ll be together.”

Someone just telling him up front, being real, as he’d put it, was different for Jovian. Usually, guys wanted to fuck. Then when he waited for them to call, he waited without ever hearing the phone ring.

“My friends, they worry I will hurt you. I won’t. I didn’t really think I could.”

“Oh, you could. I may be big and tough, but I have a heart, Jovian. It’s as fragile as anyone’s.”

Knowing that, Jovian worried it was true, that somehow, he’d hurt the man.

How the hell could he change so drastically in such a short time? How could he feel like he was falling for a guy that had almost none of the qualities he’d thought he’d wanted? “Dixon, uh, this is weird and new for me.”

“I know,” he said as he pinched Jovian’s chin. “I’ll walk with you as you get used to it, if it gets that far.”

They danced another dance, but the second one had them silent as they barely swayed side to side with one another.

Being wrapped in Dixon’s arms was warm, safe and it felt like he belonged there, but that scared him.

They were worried Jovian would hurt Dixon, but in that moment, Jovian was worried he’d be hurt.

Something real. He’d never wanted anything real. Not on the surface, anyway. Those were deep thoughts that were pushed so deep, he barely acknowledged them. Over and over, Jovian told himself that he just wanted a rich daddy to spoil him.

After the second dance, an argument broke out that Dixon had to tend to. While he was gone, Jovian moved into a dark corner of the Mess Hall to catch his breath. Jovian felt that any minute, he’d faint from hyperventilating.

Mike found him there and asked, “Are you okay? You’re kinda pale, I mean, more than usual.”

“You know the sun is terrible for your skin, Michael.”

“We lucky melanated ones have less concern, but yeah, sun isn’t great for anyone’s skin for too long. Now, will you tell me what’s really on your mind?”

“Nothing,” he snapped. “Why are you always trying to dig into my emotions when I don’t want to feel emotions?”

“I see. Vulcan-style, no emotions, only logic. Wait…no, you hate logic too.”

Jovian cracked a smile at that. “Shut up.”

“I know what’s up, Jovian. You like that guy, and it scares you. You’re not alone, you know. Kathy is freaking out right now, too.”

“Why?” he asked as his heart jumped to his throat. “Did her makeup smear?”

Chuckling, Mike shook his head. “No, you dumbass. She’s scared because she likes that guy from Utah. Look,” he said as he grabbed Jovian’s hand and lead him past the people standing in front of them.

On the dance floor, Kathy was dancing with a guy that was a little shorter than her, a little chunky, but he had a very nice smile. “He’s…okay.”

“Look at her.”

Jovian’s eyes moved over to her and was surprised to see her eyes round like saucers and she was pale too. “She looks all washed out. I need to get some more blush on her.”

“Blush will not help. This is Kathy’s first date as a girl.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah. Remember, she’s from a small town. They know she’s trans. She doesn’t get to the city often, where she’d maybe find a community, hence coming here.”

“Even when she’s come here. She’s never…?”

“No, but that’s her fault, mostly. A couple of guys were interested, but she was nervous. I think you’ve been a good influence on her.”

“ Me? Oh, please! ”

Mike wasn’t laughing. “She sees your confidence, and knows it’s not all real, but she emulated it, fake it until you make it, kinda thing.”

“Wow. I had no idea.”

“To be fair, you don’t see past your own nose a lot, Jovian. That’s not a judgement, just an observation, but you’re getting better.”

That made him think of the camp being in trouble. “Yeah. Not enough, though.”

He left soon after, the thoughts in his head making it hurt. Before he got far, however, Dixon called to him, then jogged to catch up. “Heading out already?”

“Yeah. I have a headache.”

“We’re still on for tomorrow, right?”

As much as it scared him, he wanted the date more than he’d maybe wanted anything in his life. “Of course.”

“Good. I’ll see you behind the office at one. We have a bit of a hike, but not too far, I promise.”

“I’ll wear my ruined sneakers.”