Page 56 of Sam & Justin
I had vendors to check in. I had to make sure that all of the rides had passed their safety inspections. I had to make sure that Rachel and everyone from City Hall were exactly where they were supposed to be. I wasn’t the only one that had put this together, but I was one of the heads of the committee. More than that, I was a bit of a control freak. I knew myself. I knew my flaws.
It took another hour to confirm everything was set up properly. I was sweating by the time I made my way to the front of thepark where the carnival had been set up. I couldn’t find Sam anywhere, and I hadn’t seen him in at least half an hour. I hadn’t even caught a glimpse of him at any of the booths I passed. I did, however, find Rachel. “I think everything’s ready,” I told her with a grin.
“I could have told you that, Justin.” She smiled softly as she looked around the park. “It looks amazing. We’re going to raise a lot of money.”
“If people show up…”
“People are going to show up.”
I’d had the same worry a few months ago at the reunion. I’d been terrified that no one would show, even after checking and double checking the RSVP count. I don’t think I breathed easy until people started showing up at the school. I knew that this would be the same thing. There was nothing I could do to stop the worry, so I might as well distract myself. We weren’t due to open for another thirty minutes.
“Have you seen Sam?”
“Last time I saw him, he was helping around the food trucks, but that was a good fifteen or twenty minutes ago. He could be anywhere at this point.”
I chuckled. “Gives me a place to—”
“There you are!” I smiled the moment I heard his voice, and the smile only grew when I actually saw him. When I noticed thathe was holding drinks, the smile grew so big my cheeks actually hurt. “Figured you haven’t sat down or rested since we got here. You’re probably dying for a drink.”
“You would be correct,” I admitted. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was until that moment.
“Got you some lemonade. From that fresh-squeezed truck you said you liked.” He handed me one of the cups and then passed another to Rachel. “Thought you’d probably be thirsty, too. Not allergic or anything, right?”
Rachel nodded in thanks and excused herself to go and talk to one of her friends. Her part was done. Technically, so was mine, but I wouldn’t be able to consider it done until people started arriving. Even then, I might struggle with it. As much as I loved having Sam with me, I wondered if he regretted coming that weekend. I hadn’t been able to give him nearly the amount of attention I would have liked.
I sighed.
“Stop it,” he muttered.
I raised an eyebrow. “Stop what?”
He took a sip of his lemonade and studied me. “Whatever it is that’s going on in that head of yours. Stop stressing. Shit looks like it’s going to be damn good.”
I wanted to deny that there was something going on in my head, but I couldn’t. I was, however, a little taken aback by the factthat he knew me well enough to comment on it. I liked it. I felt seen by him in a way that I’d rarely been seen by anyone, even past partners. Like he could see through the walls I put up, the act I put on of being this incredibly competent and put together person, and he didn’t mind what he saw. But the thing about being known was that if you wanted it, you had to show parts of yourself. Just like he did the night he cried in my arms.
He couldn’t be the only one that showed vulnerability. I had to do it too. That meant not denying a fact that he could see as plain as day.
“I’m nervous,” I admitted. “About tonight. Rachel’s been wanting to organize an end of summer carnival for years, and if this goes well, we can make it a tradition.” I smiled softly. “It could become a tradition, a mark I leave on Gomillion.”
“A legacy,” he said softly.
I nodded. “I’ve always wanted to leave one, and this could be my chance.” After all, I was almost forty. Unless I ran for city council and got elected, this could be it. Some annual carnival that I started, that I helped plan. Even if I did all of that, this could still be the thing that left my mark on Gomillion.
“Never thought much about that myself.” He took a sip of his lemonade and looked over his shoulder at the makeshift fairgrounds, “but looks like you got one starting up now. So how about you stop worrying about shit going wrong and enjoy it with me, yeah?”
“We still have time before it starts, and I wanted to—”
He cut me off with a kiss. “You’re going to relax. You checked and double checked your list like you’re fucking Santa Claus, so now you just gotta relax. Drink your lemonade and get ready to enjoy yourself.”
I kissed him back. “Fine.”
“You’re gonna keep worrying, aren’t you?”
Busted. “Yes, but I’ll try not to.” He laughed and wrapped his arm around my waist. He pulled me closer, and I rested my head on his shoulder. He was exactly what I needed in this moment, and I was glad that Axel had suggested he come visit this weekend.
A few hours later, everything was in full swing. People had shown up—families with kids, people I knew from high school, the barista that served me coffee every morning on my way to work. It looked like most of the town was there, but there was only one person that I cared about. We explored the vendor booths, and one of the women he’d helped carry stuff gave him a bar of homemade soap he’d been admiring. She wouldn’t let him pay for it, so instead he bought some lotion in the same scent.
I wouldn’t have taken him for the kind of guy who liked scented soaps, but you never could tell.