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But tonight it’s become clear I’m missing something important. Something big that will explain why he holds back the way he does at times like this.

“It’s complicated.” Maddox offers the quintessential non-answer, answer.

“Is it because you don’t want me to touch you?” I struggle to believe that’s true. He holds me close every night and practically always has some part of him touching some part of me when we’re in close proximity.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to touch me.” Maddox leans in, running his nose up the side of my neck as he breaths deep. “Unfortunately, I want you to touch me more than I’ve ever wanted anyone to touch me.”

“Oh.” My brain tries to make sense of what he’s telling me. “And that’s… bad?”

Maddox sighs, his breath warm against my skin.

“It could be.” He lifts his head, eyes meeting mine.

“I’m not the kind of person who does casual interactions, Audrey.

I’m all-in or nothing, and I know not everyone works that way.

” His fingers move through my hair, working my sagging bun loose as he continues. “And when I say all, I mean all .”

That… makes sense.

Maddox is filled with love. You can see it in how giving and attentive he is. He’s taken care of me better than anyone ever has.

But then there’s the other side of him. The one that’s all focus and intensity. Determination and single-mindedness.

I can see how the combination probably makes for a man who loves with his whole heart and soul and is completely and utterly committed. Willing to go to any length for that person.

Any length.

Maddox’s blue eyes move over my face, like he’s gauging my reaction to what he’s telling me. He must not hate what he sees, because he continues. “Do you remember what happened the night I came to your apartment?”

I smile. “You mean other than a strange man coming through my window?”

Maddox seems to relax a little at my teasing. “Other than that.”

“I remember trying to hit you with a baseball bat.” I was so proud of myself for stepping up like that. For trying to take on someone I was sure came to hurt me. “Sorry for that, by the way.”

“Don’t be sorry. I was happy it happened, because it meant you were a fighter.” Maddox’s lips lift. “I wasn’t wrong.”

He’s getting sidetracked—moving the conversation back to me—and I feel like he might be doing it on purpose. So I drag him back where I want to stay. “What should I remember about that night?”

Maddox’s smile slips a little and he takes a deep breath. “The part that was a little embarrassing for me.”

Ah. That part.

“I don’t know that I’d call it little.” I tease him again because it seems to help him relax. “And there was nothing to be embarrassed about. You really love your job and excitement is a big part of arousal, so?—”

“That’s not why it happened, Audrey.” Maddox shakes his head, eyes leaving my face. “It’s not usually easy for me to get…”

“Aroused?” I stick with the word I’ve already used since it didn’t seem to make him more uncomfortable than he already is.

“Right. That.” Maddox brings his eyes back to my face, looking at me like there’s something he can’t quite figure out. “I usually need to get to know someone before that starts to come into play.”

“And you didn’t really know me.”

I can see why he’s confused. Sure, we’d met once or twice, but it didn’t go beyond general introductions.

For all intents and purposes, I was a stranger.

Based on what he’s telling me, his reaction to me wouldn’t make sense.

I can see now it probably took all he thought he knew about himself and turned it on his head.

But he’s not the only one whose normal has gone off the rails lately.

“Can I tell you something?” I don’t wait for his approval, because he needs to know this.

“I felt like I knew you almost immediately.” I wiggle around beneath him, trying to free one of my pinned legs from the weight of his limbs.

“Even though you crawled through my window and scared the shit out of me, it never felt awkward or strange with you around.” I manage to get the leg out and Maddox’s hips angle between my thighs. “It felt natural. Easy.”

His nostrils flare when I slide my other leg from under his body, resulting in the hard line of his dick pressing right against me in a way that makes every inch of me flushed and needy. I almost lost him tonight, and it’s making me feel desperate to touch him.

Desperate to be touched by him.

I skim both hands down his chest, smoothing over his skin with a reverent touch.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t be stupid again.

That if I ever found someone I thought I might like, I’d take it slow.

Get to know them inside and out before I jumped in.

That I would make sure they were who they claimed to be, so I didn’t end up in the same place I’d just worked so hard to escape.

” Once again, I reach the waistband of his pants, only this time he doesn’t stop me.

“But I can’t help it with you. I keep trying to slow down, but that almost makes my feelings run faster.

” I lift my eyes to his face, nearly gasping at the intensity in the way he’s looking at me.

“So I’ve decided I’m done trying to reel them in.

If they want to sprint, they can sprint.

” I take a shaky breath. “That’s why I don’t feel bad about shooting that man.

” I shake my head as I work the button of his pants loose.

“I’d already decided to keep you, and no way was he going to take you away. ”

I know I’m saying a lot—spilling some intense emotions and making some wild declarations—but I don’t care. I said I was done trying to control this and I meant it. Maddox wanted to talk about being all-in, so there it is.

I’m all-in.

I nearly grin in triumph when I finally manage to get his zipper down and begin working my hand into the opening, ready to touch him. To show him how I feel. To take care of him the way he takes care of me.

I should have known better.

His weight lifts off me as he shifts away and I grab at him, trying to hold on. To keep him close.

“Relax, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.” His eyes drag down my body. “You’re just wearing way too many clothes right now.”

I peer down at the layers on my body. He has a valid point.

I grab the hem of everything on my top half and wrestle it up my body, feeling frantic. Like my window of opportunity could close at any time.

And I’m nowhere near as good at sneaking in them as Maddox is.

I manage to get both shirts off and throw them over the side of the bed. Then I go right for my pants.

Maddox chuckles. “I wasn’t expecting you to handle that for me.”

I flash him a smile as I squirm around, pushing down my pants and panties before unhooking my bra. “Surprise.”

Maddox’s eyes rake down the line of my body. “You’re full of surprises, Assassin Audrey.”

“Actually”—I send the bra somewhere in the room—“you’ve seen all the surprises I have. Baseball bat. Lucky shot. And naked.” My eyes lock in as his hands go to the waistband of his pants. “I probably should have saved at least one for later.”

“Nah.” Maddox shoves down his pants, underwear and all, and I get my first look at his cock. “I’m not big on surprises. I like knowing what’s coming.”

Speaking of knowing what’s coming…

It’s impolite to stare. I know that.

But holy shit. His dick is just as pretty as he is, and I can’t wait to get my hands on it. And maybe my mouth.

And for sure my vagina.

When he finally crawls back over me, I’m practically vibrating with anticipation. Ready—desperate—to touch and taste and please and?—

Maddox only makes it partway up the bed before he stops.

I start to reach for him again, planning to drag him closer, but my fingers have barely connected with his shoulder when his hands grip my thighs, spread them wide, and his mouth seals over my pussy, stealing every damn thought from my brain.

Maddox wasn’t exaggerating when he said he was either all-in or nothing. I didn’t even know it was possible to climax so quickly. Or so hard. But the way his tongue flicks against my clit has me coming undone ridiculously fast.

And I’m not mad at it. Especially since I know Maddox is more of a two-fer sort of guy.

My whole body is relaxed and my limbs are heavy as he slides back over me. The heavy weight of his cock rests against my belly, the leaking tip leaving streaks on my skin as he kisses me, the taste of me lingering on his tongue.

One strong hand hooks behind my knee, bending my leg up and alongside his hip, spreading me wider. Maddox’s mouth pulls free, his forehead coming to rest on mine. “Tell me I can have you, Audrey.” His hips shift, dragging the tip of him along the seam of my slick pussy to notch into place.

And I’ve never been more desperate for anything in my life. The first time I asked Maddox to take me was about me wanting to clear the slate. Remove all traces of the past.

Tonight’s about the future.

“You can have me.” It’s not an offer at this point. It’s more of a plea.

But he doesn’t move.

“I don’t just mean like this.” Maddox’s lips come to move against mine as he speaks. “I mean completely. I want all of you. With me. In my house. In my bed. In my life. I want everything.” There’s a hit of desperation in his voice, and it brings me back from the edge I’m still clinging to.

Pulls my eyes to his so he can see that what I’m about to say is the complete and utter truth. “It’s already yours.”

And probably has been since that first night he laid beside me, ready to protect me at any cost.

Maddox sucks in a breath, his hand holding my face as he spears into me, filling me completely in one, almost savage, thrust. A deep, masculine groan rumbles through his chest as he rocks against me, pressing even deeper. Like he’s trying to fill every bit of me with every bit of him.

That’s what I want too.

I cling to him as he starts to move, each thrust of his hips dragging me higher. Pushing me faster.

But what does me in is the way his eyes stay locked onto mine the whole time. Like he needs to know I’m right there with him every step of the way. That we’re in this together.

Like he doesn’t know it’s been that way from the start.

When I go over the edge, I don’t go alone, and the sounds of his pleasure heightens mine just as much as the feel of his cock swelling and flexing as he fills me up.

And for a second, I’m sad I have an IUD.

That sobers me up fast, because I’ve never— never —thought of having kids. I wasn’t in a place where I could even entertain the possibility. Wasn’t with someone I would allow to play a part in another human’s upbringing.

I know what happens when people shouldn’t be parents. Their children grow up broken and looking for love anywhere they can find it. Taking scraps and begging for more.

But imagining Maddox as a father is easy.

Too easy.

Just as easy as falling in love with him is turning out to be.