Page 19

TEN

AUDREY

MY EYES KEEP going to the window as I crawl into bed.

Like he often does, Maddox seems to know what I’m thinking. “Unfortunately, that’s the only hidden access point to your place, so until we know it’s safe to come and go through the front door, my team will probably be using it if they need to come inside.”

“ You’re coming and going through the front door.

” I regret pointing it out the minute it’s through my lips, because I want Maddox to keep coming through my front door with me.

Having him at my side as I take that first step inside keeps me from freaking out as I wait to see if someone’s broken in while we were gone.

“I’m coming and going through the front door because at this point there’s no way for me to keep you safe and not use the front door.” Maddox slides under the covers, taking the spot closest to the window. “It’s the same reason I sleep in here and not out on the couch.”

That takes a little of the wind out of my sails. “Oh.” I manage a wobbly smile because my pride shouldn’t be injured by his admission. “I thought you just liked to cuddle.”

Maddox gives me a sheepish smile. “I mean, I’m not against cuddling.”

That makes me feel a little better, and when he opens his arms, I don’t even pretend to resist. I immediately scoot into his embrace, curling up against the warmth of his chest as he flips off the bedside lamp, bathing us in darkness.

“Do you think your friends will come back tonight?”

I want to be prepared—as much as I can be—for what might happen.

There are so many variables as far as Trevor is concerned.

I don’t think anyone can begin to guess what he might do, but I’m sure there’s at least a little consistency to how Maddox’s side of things normally work.

And if there’s some sort of rotation where Luca and Owen—operatives I think he called them—are going to be coming in and out, I’d like to know.

So I won’t be startled when the comfortable little bubble surrounding me when just Maddox is here bursts.

“They won’t come back tonight unless I call them. And if I call them, we definitely want them here.” Maddox pulls me a little closer. “But I don’t foresee that happening right now.”

“Right now?” I hang onto his T-shirt, needing reassurance he’s going to be right beside me all night. “Do you expect it to happen in the future?”

“If I told you I didn’t, I’d be lying.” Maddox begins finger combing my hair.

Petting me like he did last night. “Your ex has a lot on the line if he goes down, so I’m guessing he’ll do anything he can to save his ass.

It would be stupid of me to think there’s any scenario where he won’t eventually come for you.

” His voice softens. “And it would be wrong of me to let you believe otherwise.”

I nod, cheek rubbing against his chest. “Deep down I think I’ve always known he’s going to come after me eventually.” I swallow hard. “I just feel bad because if there is another woman involved, he’s probably going after her first.”

I’ve been so focused on my own position that it never occurred to me that someone else might be in a similar place.

Of course I knew Trevor was having affairs and relationships outside of our marriage.

Honestly, I preferred it that way, because he was more likely to leave me alone.

It was almost a relief when he stopped touching me a year before I left him.

Well, he never stopped smacking me around or pushing me into walls and furniture, but I actually preferred that over him wanting to put his hands on me in other ways.

There came a point where any contact at all turned my stomach, and the last few times we had sex, I threw up after it was over. That was even before I found out how evil he really was. I’m not sure what I would have done if he’d tried to fuck me once I discovered all his dirty secrets.

I can’t imagine it would have ended well.

“Whatever happens, I promise you will be okay. There’s no way I’ll let him get to you.” Maddox clearly believes what he’s saying, and I want to believe it too.

But I also know Trevor has connections everywhere. Powerful connections. And Maddox is only one man. Even with Luca and Owen, it’s still just the three of them against a group of men willing to do whatever it takes to save their skins.

“I don’t want Trevor to get to you either, though.” I feel sick just considering it. “If the PI is right, and he’s herding people into his house to kill them, you might not be any safer than I am.”

“I’m not sure anyone said herding .” Maddox continues stroking my hair, his hand moving a little faster, like he’s trying to soothe me. “And you don’t need to worry about me. I deal with men like him all the time.”

“But it’s not just him.” That’s what makes all this so awful. “I don’t know who all Trevor has in his pocket. It could be every official in Memphis.” My next breath is more of a hiccup. “It could be every official in Tennessee, for all I know.”

Trevor’s aspirations are high. That’s why he married me. He needed a pretty, soft-spoken wife to give the world the illusion of civility so he would be electable.

“He knows so many people, and they all like him. Even if they’re not in his pocket, it’s possible I’m just going to look like a scorned wife.”

I ruined his plans when I left. Forced him to rethink his entire election strategy.

And boy did he put a positive spin on it.

Sure, he no longer has me at his side looking pretty and sounding sweet, but he’s found a way to use my absence to his advantage.

From what I’ve seen during the few times I couldn’t avoid his appearance on my television, he’s managed to twist the breakup into a story meant to garner people’s sympathy.

He’s been careful to tread lightly—he didn’t want to do or say anything that might make me more likely to speak the truth—but he has lamented the loss of his hopes and dreams thanks to the ‘mutual unraveling’ of our marriage.

“I really fucking hate that guy.” Maddox pulls me a little closer. “And I’m so fucking sorry you married him.”

“Don’t apologize. I’m the one who did it.

” It’s my own stupid fault. “That’s part of what makes it so difficult to speak out about him.

I know what people are going to think about me, because it’s what I think about myself.

” Everyone with half a brain cell will judge me for my part in all this. They should.

I do.

“ No .” Maddox’s arms are so tight around me now it’s hard to breathe.

“You don’t get to take any of the responsibility in this situation.

You were manipulated. Used by someone because they knew you wouldn’t see it coming.

He took advantage of what a good person you are, Audrey. The blame here is all on him. Not you.”

“But I should’ve left so much sooner than I did. The first time he hit me, I should have?—”

“ Stop .” His tone is so sharp it almost makes me jump.

When he speaks again, Maddox’s voice is gentle.

“You can’t think like that. People like Trevor dig the hole so slowly you don’t even realize you’re sinking until there’s no way to climb out.

They do it on purpose, to trap you. They get you so deep you can’t get free on your own. ”

I press my lips together because my immediate reaction is to continue arguing.

To keep grabbing at the blanket of guilt that’s been covering me.

It’s an automatic reaction, because somehow it provides an amount of security.

Claiming responsibility for some of what happened gives me a certain sense of control. Without that...

“I don’t like feeling as if Trevor was the only one who had any power in my life.” But maybe he did. Maybe he still does. “It makes it feel like I can never beat him. Like I will always be weak and he will always be strong and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“You aren’t weak, Audrey.” Maddox leans back so our eyes meet in the darkness. “No one who goes through what you went through and manages to come out the other side is weak.”

He seems so sure. So sincere. Like he’ll defend me even from myself. No one has ever cared about my welfare or happiness, and Maddox’s genuine concern makes me reckless.

Bold.

This time when I kiss him, I do it on purpose. With intent.

But it feels just as natural as it did before. An obvious and expected progression of the connection we have.

Part of me wants to pass off what I feel between us as simply a reaction to feeling safe for the first time in forever.

I’d like to believe my interest in Maddox is nothing more than my mind attempting to latch onto the first person I’ve been able to trust. It would be safer.

Easier to accept and simpler to navigate.

But I don’t think that’s what’s happening, and that scares the shit out of me. Because at some point, all of this will be over, and Maddox will leave. He’ll go back to his Murder Maddox life and I’ll be left on my own again. Only, this time, I’ll know what I’m missing out on.

Up until now, being alone was a gift. I’m not sure I’ll look at it that way after meeting the man holding me close and kissing me back.

I hold onto him as he rolls me to my back, the weight of his strong body pressing me into the mattress as I part my thighs so his hips will settle between them.

The room is spinning and I’m fighting for air when his mouth suddenly pulls from mine. He’s breathing just as fast as our foreheads meet. I stare up at his closed eyes as Maddox finds my hands, lacing our fingers together before pressing them into the pillow beside my head.

For all intents and purposes, he has me pinned down. I couldn’t get away even if I wanted to.

But I’ve never felt safer in my life. Protected. Cherished. Understood.

Connected.

And I want more.

“Maddox?”

His eyes open to meet mine, and I swallow hard.

“I want you.”