Page 4 of Sadistic Retribution

My heart is empty, a huge, gaping wound in my chest. The pain is suffocating. I close my eyes, whimpering. I don’t have a clue how I’ll survive this. I'm a lover—not a fighter.

Frost

I’m pacing our apartment, here alone. My mouth is dry, and my heart is hammering inside my chest. Nausea washes over me in waves. I feel panic settling in. Suffice it to say, I am feeling. Every-fucking-thing. Pain, regret, shame. It’s like a knife ripping through me.

I never got to tell Killer that I think I love her. It's the only thing that makes sense. I never got even close to experiencing emotions until she came into my life. She tore her way through all my barriers, accessing a part of me I didn’t know existed.

Now... It's too fucking late. I'll never get the chance.

I have to prepare. Not just me, but all of us. I just can’t right now. Without her....

I'm not me. The cold, unfeeling weapon I was honed into. I can’t pretend. The pain spearing through my heart is too intense. I need her... more than I've ever needed anything in my life.

Razor

I’m in the locker room, barricaded in. I locked the fucking door and shoved the coach’s desk in front of it. I've trashed everything I can reach. His office is destroyed. I broke into all the lockers, ripping and shredding everything.

I'm standing under a freezing shower, my arm holding me up, braced on the wall. My head down, I allow a foreign sob to break free. I want to kill every single one of our fathers. And I fucking will. Some-fucking-how.

I was finally getting closer to Fiasca. Her scent of arousal still lingers in my nostrils. Her taste... divine. I don’t see how we’ll move on from this. As hardened as I am from all the yearsof being a killing and torture machine for my family, this still surpasses it all. The most fucked up thing I’ve ever done.

I'll never forgive myself.

Purge

I'm in the computer lab, alone. I chased everyone else out. I couldn't deal with being at the apartment, so I came here.

My fingers fly across the keys, inputting code after code. I'm trying to gain access to the Director’s computer. There is so much encryption, it’s going to take forever to work through.

I need to know where Iskra is. I have to concentrate on this—otherwise, I’ll have to deal with the emotions stirring in my gut. I simply won’t give up—ever.

I sigh in exhaustion. I've been at this all night, but have no plans to stop. I grunt as I hit another roadblock. I search for a backdoor to slip through. More code flies and I grit my teeth in concentration.

Maybe if I can find her, I can save her. Save us. I have to.

I'm the only one that has a chance of finding her. I can do it, I know I can. I've trained myself to be the best hacker around.

I have to go back to the apartment soon. I can’t stay here—it's too risky. I pop the flash drive out of my pocket, sticking it into the side of the monitor. I quickly copy everything then pop it back out.

I’m trying to psych myself up to leave, but I just... can’t. Iskra is all over the place. Her very essence clings to every inch of the apartment. I'm afraid I’ll break, and I can’t afford to do that. I have to stay strong for all of us.

Synn

I've locked myself into a supply closet. I just want to fucking die. I need to suffer. There will never be enough atoning for what we did. Pazessca—God, I am so so sorry...

I punch the hard, concrete wall, splitting my hand open. I don’t give one single fuck. Pain is the only thing I want to feel. I’m drowning in it, but I don’t want to surface. Just let me disappear to the bottom.

The only thing I can cling to is envisioning slitting my father's throat. I want to relish the blood pouring from his body. I want him to suffer horribly. He will pay for taking Pazessca from me!

The crazy thing is that girl broke through. She penetrated my diseased thoughts and impulses, reaching a small part of humanity in me. Instead of self-flagellation, I’m planning the murder of all of our sick fucking fathers. I am laser-focused on it.

I'm in this closet to beat past the panic a small space normally brings out. I’m determined to hone myself into a perfect weapon. Nothing to weaken me. Deadly and merciless.

I will get vengeance for Pazessca. They will all die—by my hand. I won’t rest until they all cease to breathe.

Hunter

My brow is furrowed in concentration as I observe one of the ZYGOS hackers attempting to breach a firewall.