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“Riah, what you are feeling right now does not mean you are broken. Hypersexuality after sexual assault is a very normal and healthy response. You know the difference between consent and nonconsent because you literally just said that you knew I wouldn’t touch you because you didn’t say I could.

I am not touching you right now, even if you say I can, because you just had a fifty-man train run on you.

Trauma aside, your body needs to rest. I will not contribute to that pain.

When you’ve rested for a few days, if you still want me to fuck the life out of you, I will learn CPR so I can bring you back and do it all over again.

I love you, and I will let you lead the way because this is your show, not mine.

I meant it when I said I would be anything you need me to be, including a booty call.

Including a nurse. Including a boyfriend or even just a friend.

Outside of that, there are still things I will not bend on.

You will sleep in here with me because I cannot protect you if you are across the house if someone breaks in.

You will not leave this house without me, Ben, or Corbin.

When your dad is feeling better and stronger, then him also.

At work, you will go to every meeting with me.

Every break. Every trip. You are not my prisoner, but I have no problem making you feel like one if it means they never get to hurt you again. ”

“I don’t know what to say,” I admit. “You are just so fucking sweet that it makes me want to cry again.”

“I don’t want you to say anything unless something is wrong,” he says. “Is anything wrong?”

“Uh… No. Not at all,” I say, trying to dampen my smile.

“Are you going to stay in bed?”

“Yes,” I laugh.

“Good girl. I am going to take a quick shower and come lie down with you,” he says casually as he stands and walks over and shuts the light off.

Violent tremors quake through my body the moment I am unable to see.

I cover my mouth to keep my sudden tears quiet, but he sits back down and pulls my hand away. “Talk to me, Riah.”

“I don’t like the dark,” I whimper. He leans over and switches the lamp on.

“Is that better?” he asks, wiping a tear from my cheek. I nod and go to roll to hide my face, but he stops me when he gently grabs my chin and shakes his head. “Don’t hide from me, please.”

“The reality of the situation is sinking in and… I just feel humiliated. From how I got here, to the state I was in, to you having to wash me. Now I am afraid of the dark. I am twenty-five, and the first thing out of my mouth was that I wanted my daddy. I feel like a fucking child but also a giant whore for all but telling you to fuck me. I’m out of my mind, and I don’t know how to make it better. ”

“Zoriah, honey. Do you know how much it means to me that I was the first one you thought of when you escaped? I was the closest, yes, but you didn’t think to stop a random car or call the police.

You came straight to me knowing that I would help and keep you safe.

You being safe is all that matters to me.

I don’t care what state you came here in because you came here alive.

We didn’t have to go identify your body at a morgue.

You see that, don’t you? You are a fucking survivor, Zoriah.

You survived, and you will have to keep fighting to keep yourself above water, but you have us now.

Lean on us for support because you know we won’t let you drown.

Corbin and your father would cut off their own legs before they let anything happen to you.

I would be right there with them, and I know Ben would do the same.

Despite what you might think, we can keep up with you.

You do whatever comes naturally, and we will be here to help. Okay?”

“Okay,” I say with a small voice.

“Do you want me to wait until you fall asleep to go shower?” he asks.

“Please,” I say.

“Okay, well, I am going to undress because I am not going to lay in that bed with these on,” he says.

“I smelled really bad,” I say with a weak smile.

“Yeah…. Yeah, you did,” he chuckles. “I do think we should have a doctor look at your back, though. How does it feel?”

“Uh… It’s okay. Can we cover it with a bandage?” I ask.

“Yeah. Roll over and I’ll take care of it,” he says. I nod and roll to my belly. He goes to the bathroom for a second before returning to sit beside me. He pulls the blanket down but keeps my ass mostly covered when he pulls the back of my shirt up.

“My mom is a nurse,” he says. “I can have her come look at it tomorrow, if you want.”

“Just my back?” I ask.

“That’s it,” he says as he gently rubs something into the burn. I flinch and whimper when pain radiates through my back. “I know it hurts. This will make it feel a bit better.”

“What is it?”

“It’s like a numbing cream for burns. I just have some left over,” he says. “It’s definitely expired, but it will be fine until Mom can get you something.”

“What do you have it for?”

“My niece,” he says. “She stays with my parents, but she’s been over here.”

“Did she get hurt or something?” I ask.

“Mhmm. My sister and her husband were high as a kite, and something caught fire. A neighbor got her out, but she had pretty severe burns on her back. She was curled up with her back to the fire when she was found,” he explains.

“Oh my God. When was this?” I ask. “That poor girl.”

“Well, Kelsie is twelve now. This happened when she was six. Wow, this really is expired,” he says.

“I’m not going to get an infection, am I?” I ask.

“No. This stuff has a good shelf life,” he says. “I didn’t apply much. Just enough to help ease some of the pain you’ll feel when all that adrenaline wears off.”

“Did your sister die?” I ask carefully.

“Uh. Yeah,” he says. “They did autopsies to confirm because he did have a history of domestic abuse. They were dead before the fire even started. They both overdosed on heroin.”

“Oh God… That poor girl,” I say sadly.

“Yeah. She doesn’t remember much of the bad.

Kelsie has been in therapy ever since, and she seems to only remember happy memories with them.

They tried so hard to get clean. They actually were for six months.

She found out she was pregnant again and stopped right away.

She lost the baby at twenty-four weeks, and they relapsed the day after she came home from having him.

Kelsie was supposed to be with me the night of the fire.

Bridgett told us right away when she relapsed and asked me to come pick her up.

I finished my meeting but got stuck on the interstate behind a huge pileup.

When I finally got there, the house was fully engulfed, and she was already on her way to the hospital. ”

“I feel like I remember this,” I say as he lays the new bandage on my back. “I was still new, but I had worked there for a bit.”

“Yeah. My assistant at the time had you come here to grab a bag and take it up to the hospital,” he says. “I was in the pediatric ICU with her for a long time. This was shortly before my father retired, so he and I were going back and forth so someone was with her at all times.”

“I remember your dad. I like him,” I say.

“He pops in sometimes. You are generally always running around when he does,” he tells me before helping me roll back.

“You wanna know what the worst part about all of this is?” I ask.

“What’s that?” he asks.

“All I want to do is go back to before,” I say.

“I want to go back to when I worked most of the day and read before I went to sleep. I want to go to sleep and have a nightmare about Mom getting killed, but I know that isn’t what I will dream of.

I feel like a prisoner to my own thoughts, and I can’t escape them like I did that fucking church house. ”

“You will find your way out of the dark, Riah. I know it’s scary, but you aren’t helpless,” he says. “You said earlier that you didn’t want to be babied, so… I’m going to say what I would have said last week.”

“Okay…”

“Suck it up,” he says. “Bad shit happens, but no matter how much we try to wish it away, we can’t. The only thing we can do is find a way to process all those emotions and then learn a new path through life.”

“How did you process your sister and Kelsie?” I ask.

“I fucked… a lot,” he says with a smile, and I laugh.

“It’s how I process emotions. The fear and anxiety didn’t exist when I was with someone, and I was left with just the basics.

My sister made a mistake. She reached out, knowing it wasn’t safe for Kelsie to be there.

She fed her and put her to bed after reading her a story, even though she was itching to go shoot up.

She did the absolute best she could while waiting on me, but then the addiction dragged them both down.

They likely misjudged how much they took.

They were too high to realize that one of them forgot to turn the oven off.

She was making me cookies to say thank you for getting Kelsie, but she was trying to survive and care for her child, and it cost her everything.

Kelsie went through a lot, but having to explain that her mom and dad died shut her down.

We got her into therapy, and she was able to process that.

I struggled to find a balance. I kept finding myself almost calling her multiple times a day, and I still do sometimes.

She was my little sister… I know exactly what your brother is feeling right now, because I’ve been there.

I am just so fucking happy that he didn’t have to experience what I did and plan a funeral because my parents just couldn’t do it.

Fucking cleared my head and let me see that there was more to life than the tragedy.

If Kelsie could fight, then so could I.”

“You talk about how I feel with them. Ben. Corbin. Even Dad… How do you feel?” I ask.

“Well…” he says. “If I’m being honest, I don’t think I’ve been that scared since I pulled up to my sister’s house…

When you didn’t text me back, I was worried, but then I called when you didn’t show up for work.

I knew right away that something terrible had happened, and I was praying to God that you had only quit. ”

“So how are you going to process?” I ask.

“Ask what you really want to know, mi amor,” he smiles.

“Should I plan on another woman ever being here?” I ask.

“No,” he says. “Ask it, Zoriah.”

“Ugh,” I groan dramatically. “If you say that you are in love with me, then what does that make us? Do I get the comfort of knowing you aren’t fucking other women? Can I fuck other men?”

“First of all, if any man other than Huxley or Ben touched you, I’ll break his fucking hands,” he says firmly. “You are the woman that I want, Zoriah. I am yours however you want me.”

“What if I wanted you… like for real?” I ask.

“Explain,” he says simply.

“If you love me and I love you… Then….”

“Come on. You are so close,” he smiles.

“Are we dating, because I want us to?” I say quickly before I stop myself again.

“Are you ready for something like that?” he asks. “If this had come up Friday, would you have wanted to then?"

"Yes," I say.

"Then we are dating," he says. "But what I said still stands. I am not touching you until you are ready. Nothing beyond a hug.”

“I really hope you like to snuggle in your sleep,” I say as he stands.

“Mmmm. You are in my shirt… in my bed… with no panties on. I think that is a recipe for disaster if you ask me.”

“Why? Gonna fuck me in my sleep or something?” I ask.

“No, but I will definitely jerk off thinking about fucking you while you sleep,” he says with a playful smile.

“Well, that’s a hot image to picture,” I laugh.

“I’m sure it is,” he says as he smiles, and then he pulls off his shirt.

My mouth dries, and I scan his body as he undresses down to boxers.

He is so fucking beautiful. Like truly beautiful.

His chest, arms, and abdomen are thick with muscles.

God, even his thighs are banded with muscles.

I can’t help but notice the bulge in his boxers, but I instantly snap myself out of my daze when I realize I am staring at his dick.

I sigh and close my eyes, but the fantasy is still there.

“You are a thirsty little thing,” Roman jokes as he pulls the covers back and lays beside me.

I haven’t moved because I don’t know what to do.

He slides his arm under me instead and pulls me to his chest. I am hesitant at first, but he grabs my wrist and pulls my arm so that it is wrapped around him, making me relax instantly. “There ya go. Good girl.”

“Fuuuck, this is nice,” I groan as he rubs my back.

“Good. Go to sleep. I’m right here,” he says.

“Can I say something that is gross?” I ask. “I kinda want to get it out of my head.”

“What’s that?” he asks.

“They made me shit in a bucket but wouldn’t let me clean myself,” I admit. He never falters as he rubs my back. “Also… I think I liked the taste of Huxley’s come.”

“To the first one, that’s awful. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable that must have been. To the second, that’s good, considering they made you swallow a bunch of it.”

“He poured it too fast,” I laugh. “I almost drowned in come.”

“That would be unfortunate,” he laughs. “I can imagine the look of horror on your brother’s face getting the autopsy results.”

“That alone would land him in therapy,” I giggle.

“Him and the rest of us,” he adds with an amused tone. “Sleep, Zoriah.”

“Mmkay,” I sigh and close my eyes. I match my breathing to his and focus on his hand rubbing my back. Within minutes I find myself drifting off.