Page 27 of Sac-rifice (RBMC: Cleveland, Ohio Chapter #7)

MONSTERS AREN’T SCARY WHEN I’M WITH YOU

COR

I shuddered as soon as Shane’s eyes weren’t on me.

I hated guns. They’d taken so much away from me.

Okay. It wasn’t the weapon, but the monster behind it that I hated.

But guns were guilty by association. No one was convincing me otherwise.

My mom had her flaws, plenty of them, but she was the only mom I had.

At the end of her life, she made the ultimate sacrifice for her kids.

She’d chosen to fight the monster I had always wished she would and was killed in the process.

That was the turning point in all of our lives.

Everyone lied; I knew that, but I’d thought Shane was the exception. He’d avoided giving me all of the details. I didn’t understand that he knowingly went along with Mom’s suicide mission, but once everything came to light, it ruined me. He should have saved her, not me.

After I found out, I didn’t have it in me to face him, knowing he chose me over her.

I refused to talk to him. I texted him, not having the strength to utter the biggest lie in my entire life.

I didn’t want to see him at that moment, but I didn’t intend it to mean forever.

Honestly, I’d hoped he’d fight for me. For us.

But he didn’t. He let us die right alongside my mom.

Following Shane, we paused. His back was pressed against the wall of the building, and he protectively held his arm in front of me as a shield.

After taking a deep breath in, he slowly blew it out, lifting off the wall.

He straightened his arms while squaring his shoulders and then bent his elbows to pull his gun near his chest as he peeked around the corner.

“Stay close,” he repeated the words he’d said before we got out of the car.

Once we were on the adjacent side, he extended his arms a second time.

Every step he took, he kept his gun securely in front of us, ready to fire at the first sign of danger.

He paused beside the door and glanced at me. “Trust me?”

I hesitated to answer. Pain and anger had lingered inside my heart for so long I think it became a part of who I was.

It felt like if I released the hatred I’d clung to for years, I would be letting go of a part of me.

Honestly, on somedays, I believed I fought so hard to hold onto the emotion because it was the only thing I could rely on.

The pain reminded me I was still alive. It gave me purpose when I had nothing else.

I’d been so lost in blaming him for the awful parts that stained our memories that I was blinded by them, unable to allow myself to see anything else.

I unintentionally remained silent, and the hope that I now realized filled his eyes vanished.

My chest hurt, and the urge to cry was undeniable.

Not a single word left his lips, but I understood what he felt.

But it was his eyes that told me how much I’d hurt him; they were my endless ocean that I’d spent hours admiring when I was younger and then prayed I’d forget when I couldn’t bare their memory.

I held his gaze and heard the words that were never spoken.

It was as if he was begging me with his soul to remember that we weren’t as simple as two people in pain.

Maybe it wasn’t him at all. Perhaps the other half of my heart—the one I’d neglected and ignored for many years— had finally begun to beat again, pleading with me to let it heal its other half.

Honestly, I didn’t know or care who or what had been the messenger; I was just happy it was delivered.

Shane’s shoulders lifted and fell in defeat, but as his hand wrapped around the door handle, I reached for his elbow. His muscles tightened beneath the light touch of my fingertips.

“Shane, I trust you. I always have,” I admitted softly, meaning it with both halves of my heart.

“I know.” He smirked, and he vibrated with silent laughter when I tried to pinch the back of his arm. “I’m just happy you finally admitted it.” He winked.

As soon as Shane flung the door open, the stench of alcohol was strong enough to knock a person down. My nostrils burned, and my eyes watered.

“Look out!” I screamed when a figure shifted in the shadows, and I pushed him forward with all of my strength.

“Stupid bitch!” a man’s voice barked as he stepped into the light.

When his full face emerged from the darkness, I gasped.

He looked identical to Davey, but I knew was dead, and it sure as hell made me question my belief in ghosts.

Fear immobilized me, and I was frozen in place at the wrong moment.

I squeezed my eyes shut, reopening them in time to make out the end of a gulf club soaring at record speed toward me.

Horrific pain shot through my face, and my body shot sideways.

I crawled across the floor on my hands and knees, wobbling forward with my progress. I couldn’t see straight, but any movement was better than sitting still. I would take fighting over giving up any day.

“You two thought you could take my brother from me and get away with it? Make it look like an accident? It may have taken me years to put all of the pieces into play, but I play chess, not checkers, you dirty fucks!” the guy yelled as he swung again, hitting my right side this time.

I let out a wail as sharp unrelenting pain shot through my ribcage, and I weakly collapsed on the floor.

Shane dug his fingers into the man’s face from behind, yanking him backward.

They both fell onto the floor with a thud, smacking the ground hard enough to make the golf club clank across the stonewashed floor, just out of their reach.

Shane stretched his fingertips toward it, pulling it closer to him once they were closer to the metal rod.

“Oh, poor Corinne Lacey,” a woman said as the sound of clicking of heels approached, moving toward me from somewhere off to the right in the distance.

I had to get up. Our lives depended on it!

I pushed up off the floor about six inches, and the clicking stopped right next to me.

Something sharp stabbed me in the back and forced me back down again.

“Don’t bother getting up on my account.” She giggled, applying pressure, keeping my body firmly glued in place.

I gasped for air and shoved back against her as hard as I could.

I had to get to him. I couldn’t lose him.

I just got him back. I hadn’t completely made up my mind about which emotion Shane invoked more strongly in me, but right now, the conflict seemed so insignificant.

I had loved that man my whole life, and now, I may never get a chance to tell him.

I frantically turned my head to the side, focusing on the woman’s face.

She looked familiar, but I couldn’t place her.

She attempted to kick my hip but wound up getting my bag instead.

Green lights flashed in my brain, and it was then I remembered the conversation that took place between Shane and me while we were sitting in my car. The gun! I had a gun!

I took her kicks blow by blow, slowly snaking my hand closer to my crossbody purse every time she paused, until eventually, my fingers were around the gun.

With lightning speed, I yanked the pistol from my purse, aimed it at the woman’s stomach, and then pulled the trigger.

A bullet zipped out of the gun and sank into her abdomen as she screamed out, clutching the bloody spot near her hips.

I squeezed the trigger again. Her lifeless body zoomed downward, and I scooted myself out of the way.

My eyes darted around the room. I had to find him. This couldn’t be the end of our story. We didn’t get enough time together. There would never be enough time.

“First, you all murdered my brother and the charges never stuck!” The man’s elbows were bent as he brought the golf club behind his back and then straightened when he released it full force against Shane’s shoulder.

The cry that left Shane was one I would never be able to shake.

It broke my heart and strangled every ounce of hope out of my soul.

I sobbed, pointing the gun at the man’s head and closing one eye to get a better shot.

“Little Dove,” Shane groaned weakly after his back slammed against a nearby wall that he slowly slid down.

“Close your eyes. Pretend we’re behind our bush.

Trust me.” He somehow forced out the statement before kicking his uninjured leg into the air, connecting his boot with the man’s forearm.

The club dropped from the guy’s grasp and clanked off the floor.

“Not this time!” I argued, straining and wincing in pain as I lifted to my knees.

The tears blurred my vision as I knelt before the broken man who had always protected me.

My finger jerked back, and I let go of every ounce of hate I’d stupidly clung to.

Releasing Shane from the blame I’d held over his head all this time.

Davey’s brother lying motionless on the ground was cathartic even though that was the last feeling a person should have after murdering two people. I was weak, and the world spun around me. Unbearable heat enveloped me, and I slumped forward, my body smacking on the stone floor.

Shane’s hand found mine, and he laid next to me.

I wasn’t sure if I’d find another breath, but a strange sense of peace coursed through my body.

Nothing mattered. I was untouchable as long as Shane was by my side.

I stopped fighting the urge to give in to the welcoming darkness, knowing I was free.

I had finally faced my monster and had come out on the other side of hell.