Page 17 of Sac-rifice (RBMC: Cleveland, Ohio Chapter #7)

SMACKS my loser count was probably somewhere into the thousands at this point.

The fact I didn’t win wasn’t for a lack of trying.

Honestly, I think he felt a little sorry for me, not enough to pretend he couldn’t find me or to tell me his real wish, though.

Whatever his reason, not being able to give him a prize tortured me.

During our short lifetime, Shane had been the person I was always able to count on the most. He didn’t find me annoying like my brother did or dart into another room when I entered as his brother had.

He constantly pulled me from the darkness and never asked for much of anything in return.

So no matter how generic or stupid his answer, I was determined to find a way to make it happen.

Eventually, winning transformed from something I wanted to something we both wanted for me, and I’d tried just about every trick I could think of.

None of them changed the end result—the big lug always won, and I wasn’t able to give him a real prize.

Honestly, I didn’t know if I would ever be able to win and fulfil his stupid request, “For you to win.” If only he would let me win.

My mind ran wild as I waited for him to find me.

I was always thinking about something, whether I told anyone or not.

People often said I was distracted and off in my own little world; I wanted to deny it, but I did daydream a lot.

Having a brain like mine wasn’t something people fully understood unless they had a similar thought process.

A large number of people with ADD and ADHD did have trouble focusing at times, but it wasn’t because we lacked the desire to do so, nor was it that we had a lower IQ than the average person as some believed.

Actually, it was quite the opposite with many individuals.

We could focus, hyper focus even, but the subject had to be something we found interesting.

In truth, the delivery had to be at least mildly entertaining.

Otherwise, we were left to entertain ourselves, and sometimes we did without ever realizing we were doing it; sometimes it was visual movement or something within our own minds.

It was how it was for me. I assumed it was different with every person; I wasn’t about to try to speak for anyone else on the subject.

My intention was never to be rude, but people regularly took my distractibility as some type of personal insult.

In reality, I was usually trying to pay attention to what was going on so I didn’t offend someone.

The sad truth was if attention deficit disorders were something society could physically see like an open wound, maybe the world would be a little more compassionate and accepting of us.

Instead, I was frequently selected last for things in school or overlooked altogether simply because my peers thought I was weird or too crazy to work with during a group project.

I was thankful that Shane had never treated me like there was something wrong with me.

He’d held some of my darkest skeletons that life hung in my closet and pushed them aside to help me find a brighter future to take their place.

“Little Dove?” Shane called my name, and the cool autumn air carried echoes of his words into the distance.

My eyelids lifted, and I blinked rapidly to refocus my eyes and mind.

Yes, hide-and-seek was a game for kids, but over the years, it had become something more for us.

I loved spending time with Shane regardless of what we were doing.

Being with him made me happy, and helped me escape the darkness.

A little giggle left my lips when I peeked around the tree trunk and saw him searching for me.

He was still about twenty feet away. I was definitely winning this time!

He didn’t see me, so I kept my eyes on him.

Unfortunately, he had fooled me multiple times into thinking he was clueless about my whereabouts; therefore, I had to be prepared.

I couldn’t prove it, but I believed he cheated by watching me leave.

I couldn’t prove it, though. Maybe I was a sore loser, but I wasn’t claiming that one until I absolutely had to.

“Corinne Lacey,” he called in a singsong manner, his face turning from side to side as he tried to figure out where I was hiding. “Tate told me a secret.”

I swallowed hard. Tate and I were good friends who shared a lot with each other, but I had no idea what Shane was talking about.

Tate and I weren’t as close as I was with his older brother.

Sure, we had been in class together since kindergarten, which meant I saw him a lot more at school when we were younger.

In ninth grade, that changed. We’d started high school and were in the same school as my brother and his best friend.

Shane was a year older than we were, whereas, Isaac had been held back in the third grade, which didn’t hurt his feelings too much since it landed his slacker butt in the classroom as Shane.

With only one grade separating us, we all usually spent our lunch together.

Refocusing once again, I exhaled slowly, watching and listening.

Shane called my name again as he bent down and plucked something off the ground before continuing his search.

He glanced in my direction, and I dove into the waist-high grass beside me and squatted down low.

Not this time, buddy! I was determined to win this game once and for all.

Although, I didn’t know why I wanted to win.

Seeing as I never beat him, I hadn’t given any thought to what I request if the stars aligned and I actually won.

I spread the tall strands apart to get another glimpse of him.

He was gone. How in the world? He hadn’t just up and vanished.

I was sure of it, but there was no explanation for being unable to see him.

Something cold and almost slimy slid across the top of my foot.

When I glanced down, I yelped but made sure I didn’t move so I would not disturb the black snake taking a leisurely glide over my foot and toes.

“There you are,” Shane announced in his normal voice from behind me.

I didn’t turn to face him. In fact, the only part of me that moved was my chest rising and falling as air passed through my body.

I tried to appreciate and respect all living things.

We all had a purpose, ya know? I even tried to be considerate to creatures that weren’t exactly friendly like the one currently using me as a half-pipe.

“Cor, did you not hear me? I found you,” Shane asked, concern lacing his voice. When I still didn’t move or say anything, he placed his hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah. I did,” I replied in a soft voice through my teeth. I didn’t want to end up being bitten.

“What’s wrong? Why aren’t you moving?”

“There’s a snake crawling over my big toe as we speak.” I was barely able to talk. My nerves were taking over, and there was nothing I could do to fight them. I was spiraling. If I didn’t do something quickly, I would end up in a full-blown panic attack.

“Why in the hell are you just sitting there?” His grip tightened on my shoulder, and he began pulling me backward.

I didn’t know what to do, but I needed to do something quickly.

I knew I should have listened when we studied cold-blooded reptiles in science, but the teacher’s monotone voice made it nearly impossible to pay attention.

Now, I wished I had because I didn’t know if this snake was poisonous or not.

Absolute terror flooded my body. I needed to find something to ground me. Carefully, I lifted my hand, gently slipping my fingers under his and lacing them together. The snake slithered off me and went on with its day as if it hadn’t just interrupted mine.

Shane gave my hand a light squeeze. “Sooo.” He looked around me as he stood on his tiptoes. “Where is it?”

“I don’t know. It went across my foot and into the grass somewhere.”

“Details, Cor. Details are important right now,” he spat out in a panicked voice.

“I don’t have any idea, okay?” There was no way to give him more details because I didn’t have any.

“Fuck! I hate snakes!” His voice rose a few octaves higher than normal.

“Shane.”

“I know, Cor. I cussed, and you’re about to give me some line about all creatures, and I respect you for that, but we’re not waiting around here just to make sure it’s safe. If we stomp all over it, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”