Page 11 of Sac-rifice (RBMC: Cleveland, Ohio Chapter #7)

SOMETIMES LOVE MEANS WALKING AWAY

SAC

O ften things born from tragedy remained within a person.

It laid within the depths of your soul and festered slowly over time.

Some souls lacked the strength to endure the brutality and crumbled beneath the devastation.

This was how it was between us. The memories that bound us had been in constant war within our own minds, and as long as we stood together, our internal battles knew no end.

Our hearts ached every time we were together, and our souls bled when we touched.

I was strong enough to persist through the torment as long as she was with me.

I didn’t care; I’d have given every breath of my life to have stayed with her if I had been the only one to suffer.

I wasn’t. She was dying alongside me, determined the destruction we brought upon each other wasn’t enough to let our foreboding destiny come to an abrupt halt.

She was nearing death a little more the longer her heart loved me.

I couldn’t let the world lose such a brilliant light.

I loved her too much to be selfish with her.

Leaving her was never something I wanted, but to save her, I would destroy myself and had every day since I walked away.

I’d sacrificed my heart to help her, understanding she would hate me, and knew I would never be the same again.

“Sac, brother, is everything okay?” Sledge asked me, but I didn’t reply immediately. I needed to answer him before he lost his shit and gunned Cor down or did something equally as stupid. “Who was that?”

“A ghost.” I stared after her, completely stupefied with shock. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen when we were younger, and now that we were grown, her beauty took my breath away. “Go ahead.” I motioned my hand in the direction of the road. “I’ll catch up with you.”

“You know that was a real person, right? I saw her, too, Sac.”

I nodded, scrambling off my ride and running down the street where Cor had disappeared.

I ran down one street and back up another, searching for her.

My mouth was dry, and my chest hurt. My heart was working overtime trying to find her.

This was pointless. I was the one who taught her to hide, and this wasn’t our yard.

She could be anywhere. Cleveland was a big fucking place, and although I knew the streets so well that I could drive them blindfolded, I didn’t for one second think she lacked the ability to do the same.

We’d spent countless hours driving these streets without purpose.

My hand rested on the redbrick wall in front of me, and my sides heaved as I bent over to catch my breath.

I would stay out here all fucking night if that was what it took to find her.

I’d lost her once, and the only way I was letting that happen again was if I was dead.

And dying wasn’t on my agenda for today.

“Fucking hell, Sac!” Sledgehammer breathlessly said, catching up with me and sticking his tongue out while his breathing was labored. “Who knew you could run like that?”

“I told you to leave,” I reminded him.

“And you expected me to listen to you?” he panted.

“I hoped you would for once.”

“Yeah, that would be about as likely as you listening to me.”

“Fair enough. I guess we’re both stubborn bastards, huh?”

“Without question.”

“How about we get on our rides? It’s faster, and I can help you look for your ghost? I’m getting too old to be doing this shit.”

“Okay,” I agreed. If we continued this search on foot, I might never find her.

She was here, though, in our city. Sledge was right; she might be able to outrun me, but the likelihood that she could outrun my Harley was a different fucking story altogether.

I didn’t want Sledge to stay with me but turning away the only other person who saw her wasn’t a smart decision.

My world was crumbling around me just by seeing her, and there was no telling what would happen when I found her.

The only thing I was certain of was I would find her.

* * *

“Brother, looks like she doesn’t want to be found,” Sledge said carefully, planting his boots firmly on the ground as his bike rolled to a stop.

I glared at him out of the corner of my eyes and paced in front of my ride, only pausing long enough to listen to him.

We’d been riding up and down the streets, trying to locate Cor for two useless fucking hours.

He was right, but I wasn’t agreeing with him.

If I did, our search would officially be over, and I refused to accept that after all these years, she was so close to me, and I’d lost her again.

“How about we crash back at the clubhouse and look for her after sleeping for a few hours.”

“You go ahead if you want,” I answered sourly even though he wasn’t the reason for my mood.

“Nah. You’re going, too.”

“The fuck I am. I’m going to plant my happy little ass right here,” I made an X in the dirt with the tip of my boot. “’X’ marks the fucking spot.” As soon as the letter was written in the dirt, I dropped down onto it.

“Sac, you’re no good to her if you die out here like a dumbass.”

“And just why would I die?” I chose to ignore his insult.

“I’ve seen your survival skills; they aren’t the best.”

“Ha! You just haven’t seen ol’ Sac in action. I’m telling you it’s an experience.”

“First off, I don’t want to see what you and your tic tac do behind closed doors.” Sledge shuddered and stuck his tongue out, pretending to gag. “Nobody should have to see that shit.”

“No one said you had to watch. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. Who knows, Sledgehammer, voyeurism might be right up your alley.”

“I’m good. I like having my sight.” He shook his head, laughing while turning his key. “C’mon, brother. We’ll find her in the morning.” His shoulders tightened as he inhaled and blew out a breath. “I promise.”

My head hung low, and I closed my eyes for a second, needing a minute.

It fucking killed me thinking of her being out here alone.

So much time had passed since we had seen each other.

Hell, since we’d spoken, and it was all my fault.

I wanted to go back in time and knock the absolute fuck out of the younger version of myself for leaving her.

I did try to find her, but she was better off without me.

She didn’t need to be caught up with me and my shit.

I would have ruined her life. Once upon a time, we were each other’s everything, but that all changed the night I became what I am today: a soulless bastard.

After that, she saw me differently. I didn’t blame her. I was different.

I gave in, agreeing to put my search on hold for now.

“I’ll be up as soon as the sun breaks through the sky,” I grumbled, kicking the dirt over the X I’d made.

My hands were balled into fists, and I ground my teeth together.

I swallowed hard, telling myself she was okay.

She had to be. This was my fault; every fucking minute she’d spent alone was because of me.

In my mind, I was doing what I had always done for her; I was protecting her.

Reminding myself her life was better without a fuck up like me in it was the only thing that got me through a lot of days.

I thought I knew pain when I walked away from her, but what I felt back then was laughable when compared to right now.

As soon as she saw me, she fucking ran like she was scared of me.

The thought of her being afraid of me was the worst thing I had ever experienced.

It fucking gutted me. The unrelenting pain behind her eyes when she saw me was an image I’d never be able to erase from my damned memory.

With one look, she stripped me down to the lovesick boy I was and ripped my heart out of my chest.

“Aye.” Sledge nodded. “We’ll find her.”

I grunted in response, too lost in my own head to form real words. I was determined to find her, but prayed it wasn’t too late to fix the damage I’d caused.