Page 30 of Ryder: Shadows and Desires

His jaw clenches before he explains, “Wanted to make peace, alright? Just try not to spill this one on me.”

I shake my head while grinning. I take a sip of the warm, creamy caffeine, and sure enough, it’s a plain latte. “Thanks, Ryder. This is perfect,” I say. “I’m not picky with coffee, honestly.”

With a sigh of relief, he averts his gaze before giving me that perfectly sculpted profile of his. “Good. That makes it easier on me.”

He doesn’t linger, giving me one last glance before leaving my office. I’m quickly disappointed that we don’t get to chat more, even though I don’t know what we would talk about. Perhaps we could have awkward conversations about Dampfnudels and coffee... I smile at the thought. And a part of me stews on him saying “it makes it easier,” as if there will be more moments like this. I take another slow sip. What on earth made him buy this for me? Is he actually just being nice?

“Ugh,” I groan.

I struggle to tame my mind that meanders to places in which it shouldn’t.

I place the latte down.

Stop jumping the gun, Julie.

Staring at my office wall, I control my breathing. The new excitement makes me realize it has been a long time since I lived for myself. I’m used to measuring my decisions against the gym, wanting to focus on Jeremy, the only guy in my life I figured wouldn’t break my heart.

And that clearly blew up in my face.

My life hasn’talwaysbeen about Jeremy. There was a period where all I focused on was gymnastics and boyfriends. In the end, the men never panned out, and I grew tired of the disappointment.

But now my celebrity crush is here, buying me coffees.

I have to text Tiffany, as if telling someone else makes it real.

Julie 8:42 AM: Tiff. Ryder bought me a coffee

Tiffany 8:42 AM: whaaaa

Tiffany 8:42 AM: why did he do that?

I take another sip.

Julie 8:43 AM: I don’t know. He says it’s to make truce. But like... since when?

Tiffany 8:43 AM: I don’t trust it. Maybe it has something in it

Julie 8:45 AM: Lol. That’d make more sense

Julie 8:45 AM: but for real, he was really nice about it

I chew on my lip, drinking more of the warm liquid that has never tasted so divine. Then I glare at it. No, I can’t have warmer feelings about Ryder. Not with such ease, anyway.

Tiffany 8:46 AM: weird

Tiffany 8:46 AM: tell him I want one next time

Julie 8:47 AM: Hah.

Julie 8:47 AM: he even got me a latte and said he didn’t know which one to get me, so just got a plain, just in case. I feel like he’s actually being nice

Tiffany 8:48 AM: he just wants in your pants

Julie 8:49 AM: Oh, don’t make me think of that. I already had a crush on the man

Tiffany 8:50 AM: I’m just joking XD

Tiffany 8:50 AM: wait, you actually are thinking about that, aren’t you?