Page 7 of Ruthless Desires, Vol. Two (Ruthless Desires Series Extended Editions #2)
Wren
Back in the penthouse, we leave our shoes at the door. Thankfully we were able to wash all the sand off our feet at one of the outdoor showers.
Oliver is seated at the piano. His fingers move nimbly over the keys, and he plays with such confidence and passion that I find myself standing in the middle of the two couches, staring at him.
There’s no sheet music in front of him. Not that it would matter, considering his eyes are closed.
Elliot is in the kitchen, a dish towel slung over his bare shoulders while he chops up vegetables on a cutting board. When he sees us, his face lights up.
“There you are. I was starting to get worried.”
“We ended up walking the beach,”
Rhett says.
As his eyes flit to me, Elliot doesn’t even try to hide his surprise. “Oh?”
“I think I handled it pretty well.”
“You did.”
Rhett places a hand on my back and kisses the top of my head.
“I’m proud of you, sweetheart.”
Elliot gives me a long look, searching my face, before going back to cutting vegetables.
“Food should be ready in a half hour.”
Rhett disappears into our bedroom, and a minute later, I hear the shower running.
“Do you need help?”
I ask Elliot.
He shakes his head.
“I’ve got it covered. Just relax, love.”
Lowering myself onto one of the couches, I angle myself to watch Oliver, only to find he’s already watching me. He’s still playing the piano, filling the room with a soft, light melody. When our eyes lock, he swiftly ends his song.
“You didn’t have to stop.”
He stands, not taking his eyes off me for a split second.
“There are other things I’d rather do.”
Desire curls through my stomach. “Oh?”
“Like I said, princess. You’re too pretty not to kiss.”
He leans over me, placing his hands on the back of the couch on either side of my head. The last thing he says before sealing his lips to mine is, “Can’t fucking help myself.”
In an instant, the heated need I felt on the plane comes crashing back. I grip Oliver’s shirt, dragging him closer until he’s straddling me. His hands move to my face, angling my head however he pleases.
Moaning into his mouth, I arch upward. He smells clean, like he’s freshly showered and lotioned, and his skin is soft when I grab his arms.
“I’ve been thinking about this all day.”
His mouth leaves mine, and he presses a trail of kisses down my body as he sinks onto the ground in between my legs.
“So have I,” I pant.
Now his lips are against my lower thighs, at the spot where the skirt of my dress ends.
“Tell me you want me, princess.”
“I do.”
He groans.
“Thank fuck.”
Slowly, ever so slowly, he kisses up my thighs. The fabric of my skirt bunches up in his fists until he flips it over my stomach.
“I like it when you wear dresses. Gives me easy access.”
“Good thing I packed lots.”
I slip my panties down my legs without him even asking. As he watches, his eyes flare with lust, so I slow my movements.
He clicks his tongue. “Tease.”
The second I have them all the way off, he snatches my panties and slides them into his pants pocket.
“Hey!”
Oliver shrugs.
“Should’ve held onto them tighter. They’re mine now.”
Elliot laughs from the kitchen.
“Are you really surprised, love?”
I do a poor job keeping my smile hidden. “No.”
Oliver grabs my thighs, shoving them up and open, forcing me onto my back. He’s seemingly too focused on me to care about what Elliot just said.
“So fucking beautiful,”
he mutters, shaking his head slightly.
“Unbelievable.”
With that, he leans down and gives me a single lick. I’m so sensitive, so desperate, that my body jerks in response. He does it again, spreading my arousal to my clit, before he sucks on it gently.
“Oh, shit.”
He moans deeply before pulling away.
“Hold your legs open.”
I grab them, keeping them spread as his hands trail down my inner thighs. Oliver bows his head, flicking his tongue over my clit repeatedly. I do my best not to squirm, but it’s hard to stay still when it feels so good. When he slides a finger into me, I can’t help but whimper.
He slips another finger inside me, pumping them in and out. For a few seconds, he tries out different angles until one has me gasping. Then he sucks on my clit, continuing to work that angle with his fingers.
I’m not one to come quickly, even if it feels really good. My body just needs time. But today, I’ve been ridiculously turned on since my make out session with Oliver. All the tension and neediness forces my orgasm to slam into me much faster than normal.
I’m not sure how soundproof these walls are, and I doubt our neighbors want to hear me coming, so I move to cover my mouth. But my hands are instantly ripped away.
“Don’t you dare,”
Elliot growls just as I cry out. He pins my wrists to the back couch cushions, watching me as I fall apart.
Pleasure courses through my veins, chased by embarrassment. What if someone heard? Oh god, what if someone figures out it was me?
“Ell,”
I whine, and even that’s too loud.
“Ahhh, someone could… fuck, Oliver!”
Oliver hasn’t slowed his fingers at all, although he’s moved his mouth away from me. He licks his lips and grins.
“Delicious. You want a turn, Ell?”
“You really think I’d say no to that?”
Tossing his towel onto an empty cushion, Elliot rounds the couch.
“Move over.”
I get about two seconds of relief before Elliot is kneeling in between my legs. He circles my clit with his tongue, keeping the movement slow and gentle.
Oliver sits on the opposite couch. He crosses his legs, relaxing and stretching his arms out on the back cushions. As he watches us, he smirks at me.
For a few minutes, I’m able to keep my moans quiet. But as I get more and more worked up, they get louder. I clamp my hands over my mouth again, praying desperately no one heard me the first time.
Elliot lifts his head and glares.
“I’d move your hands if I were you.”
“What are you gonna do, punish her?”
Oliver teases.
“No, I’ll let Rhett do that.”
My eyes widen, and I let my hands fall onto the cushions. I have no desire to get spanked today.
“That’s what I thought,”
Elliot murmurs before dipping his head down and catching my clit between his lips. He sucks, yanking a cry from my lungs that I’ve been trying to hold back.
“Ell,”
I sob.
“Someone’s going to hear.”
“They’ll live.”
I groan as he dives back in.
When I come, I manage not to scream, but my moans are still loud. In retaliation, I grab onto Elliot’s hair, pulling harder than I need to. The joke’s on me, though, because when he pulls away, he’s grinning.
Leaning back, his heated gaze rakes over me.
“If we had more time, I’d…”
He stops, laughs to himself, and shakes his head.
“Never mind.”
I push myself into a sitting position. “What?”
He’s still smiling.
“Nothing, love. You’ll find out eventually.”
I narrow my eyes at him, but then Oliver stands and meanders over to us. He kneels on the couch cushion next to me, takes my chin in between his thumb and forefinger, and presses his lips to mine. The annoyance I’m feeling dissolves instantaneously, and I stretch upward to get closer.
“I want to fuck you,”
Oliver says in between kisses, “while Ell fucks me. How does that sound?”
Those two orgasms may have knocked the breath out of me, but I still manage an enthusiastic nod. I’ve thought about it—fantasized—looked it up and watched it. Never in a million years did I think I’d get to experience it.
Until them, anyway.
“Please,” I say.
Oliver turns to Elliot.
“Did you pack lube?”
He swats Oliver’s ass.
“Of course I packed lube. Who the fuck do you think I am?”
Elliot stands and immediately tears Oliver’s shirt over his head. I go for his belt buckle, undoing it swiftly before pulling his pants and boxers down.
“I’ve been waiting for this.”
Oliver steps out of his clothes.
“I don’t usually get to be in the middle.”
Elliot shoves Oliver back onto the couch so he’s on his hands and knees, facing me. Framing his face with my hands, I kiss him.
“You’d better be a good boy and do what I tell you, Ol,”
Elliot says.
“Otherwise I’ll have Rhett punish you.”
Oliver whimpers, but it’s one of anticipation, not fear. I pull away from him just in time to see Elliot spit in between Oliver’s ass cheeks. Then he leans in, swirling his tongue.
Oliver pushes against him and groans.
“Do we have time for this?”
With a glance at the clock in the kitchen, Elliot grins.
“Just enough. Wren, you keep getting him ready. I’ll be right back.”
I replace Elliot in a flash. Spreading Oliver’s cheeks, I run my tongue over his hole, making him grunt.
“You’re going to feel so good, princess,”
he pants.
“Feeling you wrapped around my cock while I fuck you and fuck myself on Ell’s dick.”
Liquid heat spreads through my stomach at the thought. I moan, continuing to rim him, wondering how different this will feel.
When Elliot comes back, he’s fully undressed, and he already has the cap popped off the lube.
“Hold out a finger.”
I do, and he first squirts some onto Oliver’s asshole before adding some to my finger.
“Spread it around. Then slide in nice and slow.”
Oliver groans as I follow Elliot’s instructions. I start with one finger, then two, smiling when Oliver whines into the couch cushions. By the time I’ve worked three fingers into him, he’s acting like I’ve been teasing him for hours.
“If we go much longer,”
Elliot says, “he’ll start negotiating.”
“Negotiating?”
With a chuckle, Elliot says, “You’ll see it at some point. Honestly, if you tell him you’re willing to peg him, he might do it on the spot.”
Oliver groans.
“I’m ready, please. I need you both.”
I wash my hand, and Oliver gets up. Thankfully, the couch is pretty wide, otherwise I don’t think we’d be able to do this here.
Grabbing a throw pillow, Elliot places it on the couch.
“Lie down with this under your hips, love.”
I follow his instructions, pulling my knees up to my chest as Oliver climbs over me. He shudders as he slides into me, pushing my legs apart. At the same time, Elliot coats his dick in lube and gets on the couch behind Oliver.
“You ready, princess?”
Oliver asks, smiling down at me.
“I think the better question is are you ready?”
Elliot says, grabbing his ass cheeks and pressing inside.
“Fuuuuck,”
Oliver groans. His eyes roll back into his head. “More.”
“Patience,”
Elliot says, grabbing onto his shoulder.
“Let’s ease you into it.”
I keep my legs open as much as I can to leave room for them. As Elliot fucks into Oliver a little more, I stare up at them both, although I can’t see a lot of Elliot. It takes a minute, but once we’re all situated, Elliot starts moving more consistently. The force of his thrusts makes Oliver move inside me.
With a grunt, Oliver rasps, “Let me.”
Elliot slows. After adjusting himself for better leverage, Oliver does exactly what he said he would—fucks me while fucking himself on Elliot’s dick. Oliver lets out a long string of strained expletives before slamming his lips to mine. He kisses me sloppily, groaning and panting into my mouth, and it might be the hottest thing that anyone’s ever done to me.
“Oh my god,”
he moans when Elliot starts thrusting into him.
“Shit, I forgot how much I love this.”
I grab his head and kiss him again. My tongue slides into his mouth as he lets Elliot take over. It’s so different than any other position we’ve been in, probably because Oliver is writhing in pleasure just as much as I am.
“Wren,”
he grits out.
“Can you touch yourself? I can’t, I have to hold myself up.”
Oliver’s body is pressed too closely to mine for me to be able to reach, but I’m okay with that. Oliver is hitting a spot inside of me that feels like heaven, and if he adjusts to give me room, the angle will change. I won’t come from this, but I don’t want him to stop. Besides, I kind of like the thought of not coming again.
“I don’t need to,” I say.
He frowns. “But—”
“Use me. Please.”
Oliver grunts, his eyes lighting up.
“You want to be our plaything, princess?”
I nod, keeping my gaze on him as Elliot’s thrusts make Oliver move inside me. Fuck, it feels good.
“You do make a pretty toy,”
Elliot says.
“Both of you do.”
Just then, Elliot picks up his pace. It forces a gasp out of me, and I grab onto Oliver’s arms and hold on for dear life.
“Shiiiit,”
Oliver groans. He tries to move too, but he can’t match Elliot, so he stops.
“That’s it,”
Elliot pants.
“Just take it. I’ll use you, and you use her.”
“I… can’t… last…”
Oliver is barely able to get the words out. He shudders against me and lets out a helpless moan.
“Kiss him, love. Make him come.”
Wrapping a hand around the back of his neck, I tug Oliver down. When our lips meet, his body goes stiff. Elliot is still pounding into him, holding onto my ankles for leverage, and it has all of us breathless.
I never want this to end.
Oliver cries out against my lips. Then his cry dissolves into a series of moans as he comes. I wrap my arms around him, kissing him until he’s an unraveled, limp mess in my arms.
Ell pulls out of him.
“On the floor on your knees, now. Both of you.”
Groaning, Oliver pushes himself off of me. He’s still too sated to go quickly, so I end up kneeling first. With one hand, Elliot runs his fingers over my hair, and with the other, he continues stroking his cock.
“You want my cum?”
I nod.
“Or should I give it to Oliver?”
Dropping onto the floor next to me, Oliver says, “Please, Ell.”
Elliot grabs a fistful of Oliver’s hair and pulls, forcing him to crawl closer.
“Shit, I love having both of you like this. So eager to please, aren’t you?”
“I’ll do anything you want,”
Oliver begs.
“I want you to cover me with your cum.”
Elliot smirks.
“See what I mean about the negotiating, love?”
Oliver whines impatiently.
“You can have it,”
Elliot says soothingly.
“No worries, Ol.”
Arching upward, Oliver watches intently, waiting. My eyes flit between the two of them, loving Oliver’s eager expression and Elliot’s pleasured one. His gaze doesn’t leave Oliver, even as he starts to fall over the edge and he has to fight to keep his eyes open.
“Fuck,”
Elliot groans. His cum falls onto Oliver’s chest, and his hand slows.
“You’re so fucking sexy with my cum all over you.”
Once he’s finished, none of us move for a moment. Elliot hasn’t stopped staring at Oliver, and I’m still looking between the two of them, caught up in the intense moment they just had.
“Look at all of it,”
Oliver says, gazing down at his chest. “Fuck.”
“Clean him up,”
Elliot commands, and it takes me a second to realize he’s talking to me.
After crawling in front of Oliver, I start licking up Elliot’s cum from his chest. Elliot gathers all of my hair up so none of it gets dirty. I savor the salty taste as my tongue travels up Oliver’s torso, catching every last drop. When my tongue laves over one of Oliver’s nipples, he groans.
“Don’t swallow it all, love,”
Elliot says when I’m close to being done.
“Keep it in your mouth.”
I obey, and when I’m finished, I look up to him questioningly. Elliot lowers himself to his knees, still holding onto my hair, and kisses me. It’s hot and open-mouthed, and a mixture of saliva and cum enters his mouth. A tiny bit dribbles from my chin onto my dress.
Never in my life did I think doing something like this would be hot, but my god, it really is. Especially when Oliver moans as he watches us. And then especially when Elliot breaks off our kiss, grabs Oliver’s head, and fuses their mouths together in a searing kiss.
That’s when I see Rhett watching us from our bedroom door. He’s leaning against the doorframe, a half-smile on his face, which for Rhett is a full grin. He doesn’t look turned on, necessarily. It’s more that he’s happy to see us happy—I think, anyway.
Wiping at my chin and mouth, I smile at him. This is probably the most relaxed he’ll be for the rest of the week, so I let my gaze rest on him. For a split second, I wish we could kill Ludo today so the guys can put this behind them. But that’s not how this works, so I let the thought fade.
The oven timer goes off, pulling all of us back to reality.
“Shit,”
Elliot groans, reluctantly ending his and Oliver’s kiss.
“What horrible timing.”
“I’ve got it,”
Rhett says, walking into the kitchen area.
“You guys get cleaned up.”
We all stand, and I look down at the cum spot on my dress. Good thing I overpacked.
Oliver gives me a tired, happy smile.
“You were perfect, princess. I’d like to do that again if you want. Except we’ll make sure you get to come next time, too.”
With a shrug, I peck him on the cheek.
“Or not. I quite like being used by you.”
***
After we’ve all eaten and showered, it’s time to head over to Ludo and Aubrey’s condo. I have pretty simple instructions: stay friendly, stay close, and try to leave the sunglasses in a central part of the house.
The guys stressed that if I can’t make it look like a natural, absentminded thing to do, then to not even bother. It’s better to potentially try again at a later time than to raise suspicion by doing something odd. They say it’s not a big deal if I don’t get a chance, but we all know they’re lying. This is important to them for a multitude of reasons.
On the walk over, I hold onto Elliot’s hand, hoping some of his confidence will transfer into me. I’ve never seen him interact with Ludo, but he’s the only one who looks unbothered by tonight. Rhett has been quiet ever since his shower, and Oliver keeps shooting him worried looks.
And me? I made sure I look nice, but I feel like a wreck. Knowing that Ludo was supposedly watching me at Evolve—and that I’m his type, whatever that means—has me thoroughly creeped out.
At the condo, Ludo answers the front door and greets us. “Ah,”
he says when he lays his eyes on me. His smile widens.
“I see you got your woman back. Followed my advice, Oliver?”
“Worked like a charm,”
Oliver replies with a jovial tone as he shakes Ludo’s hand. It’s shocking to see him look at Ludo with anything but malice, but he hides it well.
Elliot and Rhett follow suit, and then I do too. Except Ludo turns my hand and presses a lingering kiss to my knuckles. It’s an odd move and entirely too old-fashioned to make sense, but I give him a friendly smile anyway.
“Lovely to meet you, Miss Taylor.”
He doesn’t mention that we’ve met before—and that he left me to die.
“You as well,”
I manage to say smoothly.
I wonder what he did with Andrew.
“Well, let’s not waste any time,”
Ludo says.
“Aubrey is already out on the back patio with drinks.”
I move to follow Ludo as he heads deeper into the house, but Rhett grabs my arm. He pulls me back, going first. No, not going first, exactly. I think it’s more that he’s placing himself in between me and the man he hates most in the world.
As Oliver takes my arm, he whispers, “You’re doing well, princess.”
At least one of us thinks so.
On the patio, there are two men in black suits standing off to the side. Ludo’s security team, I imagine. There’s a large, round daybed on the far end of the patio, decorated with lots of pillows and half-covered by an overhead canopy. Lounging on it is a woman with deep brown skin wearing a light pink romper. Aubrey, I assume.
When she spots us, she jumps to her feet.
“Oh, you’re here! Perfect!”
As she walks over to us, her curly black hair bounces against her bare shoulders. The second I’m in reach, she throws her arms around me and pulls me into a hug.
“It’s lovely to meet you all.”
After some quick introductions, Aubrey grabs my hand and pulls me away from the guys. Ludo looks mildly annoyed but doesn’t try to stop her.
“I was so hoping you’d come tonight,”
Aubrey tells me as she pulls me toward the outdoor bar.
“Ludo told me a little about you, and I know tonight is supposed to be about me getting familiar with your boyfriends, but whatever. I’m used to having bodyguards I don’t know.”
“Oh, wow.”
She shrugs as she busies herself by making two drinks.
“I come from a family of lawyers. My parents take a lot of high-profile cases, and they want me to follow that same path. Between that and being engaged to Ludo, I can’t remember the last time I left the house alone.”
I swear I detect a hint of bitterness in her voice, but I’m not sure if I’m imagining it or not.
“Well, hopefully you’ll be able to relax this week.”
“I’ll be able to eventually,”
she says with a conspiratorial smile.
I’m not sure what the smile means, but before I can think about it much, Aubrey slides one of the two matching drinks in my direction.
“We can hang out on the daybed together,”
she says.
“I’d love to get to know you more. Do Ludo and the guys work closely together?”
Following her to where she was lounging earlier, I say, “I’m not entirely sure.”
I am, of course. But I’m curious what led Aubrey to ask that.
“Oh. Ludo talks about them often enough, so I just assumed.”
She situates herself on the large cushion, moving a journal and a book with a light pink cover over to make room.
“Oh, is that a book of poems?”
I say as I lean over to get a better look.
“Mmhmm. Why, do you read poetry?”
“Not as often as I’d like. I typically stick to fantasy, romance, and murder mysteries.”
“If you ever want to get into it more,”
Aubrey says, “I can recommend some great collections for you.”
“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.”
The water isn’t too far away, and the sound of the waves hitting the shore has goosebumps spreading across my skin. If it wasn’t for last weekend, I’d probably think it was nice. Earlier on the beach, I think I did just fine, but now I’m wondering if that’s because I had Rhett with me. The sky is darkening, and it makes the waves look much more menacing.
“That’s a lot of water.”
My voice wavers.
Aubrey catches on.
“Oh, are you afraid of it? I used to be when I was younger until I did mommy-and-me swimming lessons.”
“Something like that,”
I mutter into my drink before taking a sip through a cute paper straw. It’s sweet and fruity, helping to cover the taste of some of the alcohol.
“So, I know you’re with all three of them.”
Aubrey nods to the guys.
“Are they all with each other as well?”
“Yeah. They’ve been together for a long time. I’m a more recent addition.”
She hums, watching as the guys and Ludo converse. Then she turns and looks at me. Up close, I can see just how deep brown her eyes are. They’re soft, too, like she spends a lot of time smiling.
“How’d that happen?”
she asks.
“All four of you ending up together?”
“They met in high school. I work at the coffee shop they swing by once a week. After a couple months of awkward flirting, we ended up at a Valentine’s Day ball together. And somehow I found the courage to go home with them.”
“No way.”
“What?”
Aubrey shakes her head.
“That’s way too cute of a story to be real. And way too fun of a night.”
“It was a whole weekend, actually.”
“Damn,”
she says on a laugh before taking a sip of her drink. Her smile fades almost immediately, because Ludo calls from where he and the guys have gathered around the unlit fire pit.
“Hey you two, come over here. You’re supposed to be getting to know your new bodyguards, darling.”
Aubrey makes a face when Ludo calls her darling, probably because the canopy shields her from his line of sight. Then she sits up, a bright smile on her face.
“Just give us a couple minutes. I want to get to know Wren, too.”
Ludo doesn’t look too happy at her disobedience, but Aubrey easily ignores his soured expression.
“I am so sick of him ordering me around,”
she tells me quietly.
This doesn’t sound like it’s going to be a happy marriage.
“Why does he expect you to listen?”
She gives me a blank stare for a second, and then she laughs.
“You know who you’re talking about, right? That man always gets what he wants. But it doesn’t matter. I’ve already chosen to pick my battles for now. And spending a couple minutes over here is one I can win.”
“Do you…”
I trail off, realizing it’s probably rude for me to pry into a stranger’s love life.
Aubrey must sense my unease, because she nods her head in a way that indicates she wants me to go on.
“Do you want to marry him?”
I whisper.
“God no. But it’ll be worth it.”
“Oh?”
“My parents have a solid reputation and a network of friends and colleagues that Ludo wants access to. Mainly a couple judges, for whatever reason. As for my parents, they took a case that made them some pretty dangerous enemies. They’re looking at a couple years before everything is over, and they need protection.
“Ludo has the power to keep my parents’ enemies from hurting us, simply through a familial connection. Who would touch us if they knew Ludo would come after them as a result? This is the solution both parties agreed to.”
She gestures between him and her.
“A marriage of convenience.”
“Basically. It keeps my parents safe. And I…”
She gives me that smile again, like she thinks I’m in on something I’m not.
“I’ll be just fine.”
I’m not sure I believe her, but then again, it doesn’t seem like I have the full picture. I tuck that all away in the back of my mind to tell the guys later.
“So if you two aren’t in love or anything, why take this vacation together?”
“Appearance and all that. We have to post pictures together on social media.”
Aubrey rolls her eyes.
“For everyone to get what they want out of the arrangement, it has to appear real. That way my parents’ inner circle will think Ludo is trustworthy so he can get close to them, blah blah blah. But a pre-wedding vacation is the last thing I wanted to do. It was Ludo’s idea because it’s convenient for him.”
“Why?”
I try to keep my tone light, hoping I don’t come across as too curious. This sounds like it could be helpful, but I don’t want Aubrey to get suspicious.
“Hmm? Oh, Ludo has a new employee. A personal one, not one for the club. There’s a lot that goes into training someone new. Ludo’s process is supposedly more on the grueling side, especially the first few days. Honestly, I feel bad for the new guy. He’s practically a kid.”
My stomach turns.
“Ludo has a few trusted allies down here who he uses for training,”
Aubrey continues.
“The idea is to put this guy through a series of tests to make him prove his loyalty or some shit. I’m fuzzy on the details, but it sounds like hell. Supposedly, the last time Ludo tried to recruit someone, they died.”
Holy shit. Is it going to be this easy to gather information on Ludo?
“That sounds horrible.”
“It is. But I’m not surprised. Ludo is heartless.”
“It seems like he trusts you, though,”
I say.
“Sounds like you know a lot about his operations.”
She laughs.
“Oh, that has nothing to do with trust. When we announced our engagement, I moved in with him for security reasons. In an old mansion like his, it’s easy to eavesdrop through vents and cold air exchanges, all that shit. The asshole won’t tell me anything, so spying on him is the only way I can ever figure anything out. Ludo has no idea how much I know.”
This is suspiciously easy.
“So you—”
“Ladies,”
Ludo calls, his impatience overt this time.
Aubrey rolls her eyes before grumbling, “I can’t wait for this whole thing to be over with.”
***
We end up sitting around the fire pit for an hour or two, lighting it as the sun goes down. The conversation stays casual for the most part, and I notice that Aubrey is considerably different now that we’re around Ludo. Her demeanor is still bright and happy, but she’s much quieter. She doesn’t let on that a single intelligent thought has ever gone through her brain, even though that’s how she acted around me.
How odd.
I struggle to pay attention because no matter how loud everyone talks, I can always hear the waves lapping against the shore. By the time it’s fully dark, I’ve crept as close to Elliot as I can. He’s been telling stories about winter ski trips and summer backpacking adventures, probably trying to make Aubrey comfortable. He’s good at that.
Elliot’s voice is the only thing keeping me tethered to real life. Well, that and the way he has an arm securely anchored around my waist. His thumb rubs up and down my side comfortingly. It’s a reminder that I’m here, on dry land, a perfectly safe distance from the ocean. Next to him, I have nothing to be afraid of.
Still, all I want to do is bury my face in Elliot’s chest and dissolve into anxious tears. I can’t—I know that. But it’s getting harder to breathe with every passing minute.
Ludo starts talking about a childhood experience he had that’s similar to one of Elliot’s. It’s odd, thinking a monster like him was ever a child.
Since Ludo’s attention is diverted, Elliot leans down and kisses my temple. He glances at the ocean.
“We need to get you out of here.”
“I’ll just go inside for a few minutes,” I mumble.
I excuse myself and head into the house. On my way to the bathroom, I pass by a small table and set the sunglasses on it, praying they’ll go unnoticed since there’s a set of keys already on it. It looks like one of those surfaces people would absentmindedly set stuff on, and that’s exactly what we’re going for.
In the bathroom, I shut myself in and stare at my reflection in the mirror. Every once in a while, I get overwhelmed by all the horrible things in the world, and all my thoughts feel like they’re crushing me.
That’s how I feel now. Everything is too much. My fears, and how stupid they make me feel. Ludo, and how much I want to watch the life slowly bleed out of him. Jordan, fucking Jordan, and how I wish he was still alive so we could kill him again.
Slowly, I draw in a deep breath. I can be angry later. But right now, if I stay inside the house too long, Ludo or one of his bodyguards might get suspicious.
Think of something nice. Something to calm you down.
My mind instantly goes to the first night I had with the guys. They were so sweet at the ball. As I remember the way Oliver said I looked like a princess, I smile. Then it widens when I think of Rhett. Rhett, who hates crowds and doesn’t know how to dance, but did it with me anyway. And of course, there was Elliot, who pulled me away from the ballroom and kissed me and then made sure I felt safe the whole night.
My god, I love all of them so much.
I sigh. Some of the emotional weight has dissipated, and my chest feels lighter. After another long breath, I step out of the bathroom. I can do this.
Before heading back to the patio, I stop in the living room. There’s a set of large windows that overlooks the beach. I wonder if watching the water from the safety of the house will help ease me into getting back outside. As I watch the waves, I fiddle with the fabric of my skirt, trying to talk myself up.
It’s far enough away.
The guys would never let you drown.
There’s nothing to be afraid of. Not really.
“You don’t seem to like the ocean,”
Ludo says from behind me.
I jump, focusing on his reflection in the window as he walks closer to me.
“Didn’t realize you were in here.”
He doesn’t reply, and we stand next to each other in silence. I go back to staring at the dark water, trying to find the courage to go back outside. Somehow, Ludo is the less-scary option, and I hate it.
“There’s nothing wrong with fear, you know,”
Ludo says.
“It’s cowardice that’s your problem.”
If I wasn’t already struggling to control my emotions, I’d probably be able to hold my temper. But his accusation is like throwing gasoline on my already-smoldering anger.
“I’m not a coward,”
I snap, whipping around to face him.
“Whoa, easy there,”
Ludo says smoothly. He looks me up and down in a way that can only be described as judgmental.
“You’re acting pretty defensive for someone who has no reason to be.”
“You called me a coward. Don’t know what else you were expecting.”
The door to the patio opens and shuts.
Ludo shrugs.
“Seems like it’d be pretty easy to prove to me that you’re not one. Or…”
He smiles, like he knows something I don’t.
“To prove it to yourself.”
I bite back my retort, turning away from him. The last thing I want to do is give him the satisfaction of toying with me. He doesn’t actually care about me—he made that very clear when he left me wet and shivering in the snow.
“What are we proving?”
Oliver comes up and slings his arm around my shoulder.
How the hell can he manage to be so cheerful around this asshole?
“Just how brave one could be,”
Ludo says, still smiling. “Or not.”
The door opens again, and everyone else files into the condo. Aubrey gives me an apologetic grimace when she notices how close Ludo is standing to me.
“We’re gonna head out,”
Elliot says, and I almost cry with relief.
“Gotta get some rest before tomorrow.”
“It was lovely talking to you,”
Aubrey says as she hugs me.
“Have a good night.”
“You too. Thanks for the drink.”
As soon as we’re out of the house, I feel like I can breathe fully again. Based on the way Oliver relaxes, I think he’s experiencing something similar. He hasn’t stopped touching me in some way since he found me with Ludo. Right now, my hand is clasped tightly in his.
“Princess,”
he asks as we walk back to the hotel, “are you okay?”
“Just overwhelmed, I think. Being that close to the water was… um. Hard.”
“I’m sorry,”
he murmurs, squeezing my hand.
“We shouldn’t’ve stayed that long.”
“I’ll be okay. Especially once we’re farther away.”
I fail miserably at keeping the tiredness out of my voice.
He makes a concerned noise, picking up our pace so we can get back to the hotel sooner. I barely notice.
It’s cowardice that’s your problem.
With a scowl, I glance at the ocean one last time. The sight makes my heart rate spike, and I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
My eyes are still glued to the ocean when I stop, forcing Oliver to pause as well.
“Hey.”
His touch is gentle as his knuckles run across my cheekbone.
“What are you thinking?”
Elliot and Rhett stop behind us, and in my peripheral vision, I see Oliver give them a confused glance.
“I’m going to get over this,”
I say quietly. Then again, more forcefully.
“I’m going to get over this. I’ll work through the fear for however long it takes, until I can be around water again without a second thought. I’m not a coward.”
I’m not. I refuse to be. And even more than that, I refuse to let a monster like Ludo Holloway be right about me.