Page 46 of Ruthless Desires, Vol. Two (Ruthless Desires Series Extended Editions #2)

Oliver

Emptiness.

Complete, utter emptiness.

It’s the only thing I feel all day. I sit on the mattress, pace my room, and stare out the window into Holloway’s backyard, but I do it all numbly.

Every once in a while, I hear Elliot moving about his room. He knocks on the wall occasionally, just once each time, and I return it quietly. So far, either the men stationed outside our doors haven’t noticed, or they don’t care.

For most of the day, I keep trying to shake myself out of this god-awful dream. This can’t be right—this can’t be reality. It just doesn’t make sense.

How did we not see this coming? It was our responsibility to think of the worst-case scenarios. To be on the lookout for traps. But we were too sure of ourselves. It wasn’t naivety—we’re far past that.

This was foolishness. Stupidity.

By the time Ludo and Elliot’s conversation drifts into my bedroom, I feel like a ghost of myself. Physically I’m here, but I feel like I’m watching myself from outside my body. Like I’m watching this all happen to someone else.

I’m so lost that I almost—almost—miss what Ludo tells Elliot.

I need you and Rhett in good condition. Oliver, on the other hand…

Soon after that, I hear Ludo exit Elliot’s room and walk down the hallway. My chest tightens with every passing second. Why am I the odd one out? What does Holloway have planned for Ell and Rhett? And what does he have planned for me?

In a way, I already know the answer. Ludo doesn’t let traitors get away with anything. Eventually, unless we find some way out of here, we’ll end up dead. In the meantime, Holloway will do what he does best—cause pain.

And it sounds like I’ll be getting the brunt of it.

My tears start up again. They sting my eyes, and even as I try to stop them, more come. This is all my fault. Wren never would’ve gotten caught if it hadn’t been for me.

I don’t blame her. I could never. Wren did her absolute best to get the hard drive. Ultimately, it’s our fault for putting her in a position she wasn’t ready for yet. If it had been one of us, maybe we would’ve been aware enough to catch that Andrew was watching. But no, instead we gave the most dangerous part of the job to the least experienced out of all of us.

None of this ever would’ve happened if I’d just listened. From the very beginning, I’m the one who always pushed for Wren’s involvement. That first weekend, Elliot was ready to let her go, and Rhett would’ve gone along with it. But I refused to go back to the way things were.

From there, everything snowballed.

I’m the one who got Wren tangled up in the Williams job.

I’m the one who helped get Ell and Rhett on board with Wren helping us spy on Ludo in Florida.

I’m the one who insisted we could get Wren ready enough to pull off the heist at the wedding.

Elliot and Rhett were always hesitant. They wanted to keep Wren as safe as possible, even if it meant keeping her at arms’ length or leaving her on the sidelines. Of course I’ve always cared about her safety, but she wanted to be a part of our revenge plans. She wanted to be a part of us, and I knew she was smart enough and strong enough to hold her own.

Even now, I still don’t think I’m wrong. We just pushed her too far too fast. We got too desperate—maybe too overconfident.

I just hope she’s safe.

If something happens to Wren, I’ll never forgive myself. She knew the risks of getting involved with us, but it’s not the same. We’ve been preparing for this for ten years. She’s only had a couple months.

What if I never get to see her again?

I know I’ll see Rhett and Ell again, even if it’s only to die together. But Wren… I’d give anything to hold her in my arms one last time—to watch her eyes light up as I tell her I love her.

When night falls, my heart is heavy as I turn off the light and sink onto the bare mattress. I’m not tired enough to sleep, but I don’t want to be awake. I’m drowning in the hopelessness of it all.

There’s really no escape.

I curl up and squeeze my eyes shut. Maybe if I think hard enough, I can trick my body into feeling the warmth of someone curving their body around mine. A hand on my hip, soft breath on my neck, soothing words floating through the air and lulling me to sleep.

But all I hear is a light tap against my window. Probably a branch moved by the breeze. It happens again, this time a little louder.

And then I remember that there aren’t any trees directly in front of my window.

Springing into an upright position, I peer through the darkness of my bedroom. I swear I see something move outside the window. What is that? A bird?

Quietly, I get to my feet and cross the room. As I get closer, there’s another tap, and I’m just able to make out the unmistakable outline of a hand.

Ell.

Panic squeezes around my heart as I slide the window open. It makes some noise, but not enough to alert the guards outside. Even if they notice, I’m allowed to open the damn window to get some fresh air.

As I peer out, I realize Elliot is standing on a thin ledge. He must’ve shuffled across it from his window to mine.

Since our capture, Holloway has upped his security. Any of the men patrolling the yard could’ve seen Elliot if they’d only looked up. The darkness covers him, but not completely.

I’m just able to see Elliot lift a finger to his lips, a reminder to stay silent. He must know I’m about to tell him to go back to his room before he gets himself killed.

Carefully, Elliot climbs through the window. I help him to try and reduce the amount of noise it makes. This late at night, every movement feels as loud as a gunshot.

In reality, Elliot barely makes a sound as his feet hit the floor. He crushes me to his chest immediately, and I throw my arms around his neck. This is far too dangerous to be practical, but I need him, even if it’s only for a few moments.

Elliot’s normal scent of sandalwood and oranges has faded, but I don’t let myself fixate on why. I breathe him in while he rocks me back and forth.

“Ell,”

I whisper.

“Shh.”

His voice is barely audible as he presses his lips to my neck.

The tears come back, more forceful this time than before.

“You can’t—”

He cuts me off with a harsh look. This upset, I’m having trouble controlling my voice. If I’m not careful, I’ll give us away.

“I had to see you,”

he whispers in my ear.

“I heard you crying earlier. I couldn’t leave you alone.”

Instead of responding, I bury my face in Elliot’s neck. I’m not sure how long we have, and I need to soak in every second of this.

“What if you get caught?”

I whisper once I’ve swallowed down the lump in my throat.

“Then I’ll take whatever punishment they give me.”

At that, I pull back and shake my head. Ludo has been cruel, but this is only the beginning. We don’t need to give him another reason to hurt us more.

“I’ll be fine,”

he murmurs before pressing his lips to mine.

Elliot kisses me gently, his hand coming up to cup my cheek. I shiver at his cold touch at the same time that I lean into it.

“You have to go,”

I whisper.

“Someone is going to catch you.”

“No one is coming in, Ol. The guards don’t have any reason to check on us until they give us food in the morning.”

But my heart is beating wildly, my thoughts a chaotic mess of what ifs. I can’t watch him get hurt.

“Just for a few minutes,”

Elliot whispers. He guides me to the mattress, and we both stretch out on it.

As he brings an arm around me to pull me into him, I find myself relaxing. Somehow, even though this is wildly reckless, I feel safer with his body pressed against mine.

“I love you,”

I whisper, my hand running over his hair.

“God, Ell, I love you so much, and I’m so sorry.”

“Shh.”

Elliot’s hand stroking down my spine is so achingly familiar.

“Close your eyes.”

I do, half wondering if I have the mental strength to convince myself that we’re safely in bed at home. Before the thought has fully crossed my mind, I know the answer is no. My heart is broken, and fear is a constant presence in the back of my mind. There’s no way I can get past that.

“Just let me hold you while you fall asleep,”

Elliot says softly.

“But what if you fall asleep? What if someone sees you in here in the morning?”

His lips are soft as they feather over my forehead.

“I’ll stay awake. I promise.”

Elliot sounds exhausted, but not the way he does when he’s close to falling asleep. His voice is worn down and heavy, much like it’s been for the past couple months.

“This isn’t your fault,”

I tell him as quietly as I can.

“Don’t worry about that, O.”

He squeezes me.

“Just try to relax.”

Nestling my face against his chest, I close my eyes. They’re swollen from crying, but my tears have dried up—for now, at least. As I try to do what Elliot told me and relax, I slip my hand underneath his shirt. I want to feel him, not fabric.

I didn’t think I was tired enough to sleep, but with Elliot’s body cradling mine, I find myself drifting off after what feels like twenty minutes. He’s strong yet soft, and always so comforting.

“I love you,”

he murmurs as he presses a kiss to my temple.

I tuck the words into my mind, savoring the meaning in Elliot’s voice.

For all I know, that’s the last time I’ll ever hear him say it.