Page 47 of Ruthless Desires, Vol. Two (Ruthless Desires Series Extended Editions #2)

Rhett

I never told her I loved her.

My heart aches as the thought flits through my mind for the hundredth time since Ludo revealed he knew we betrayed him. I’ve been worried sick about Wren. We have no clue where she is or how long she’ll be able to stay in hiding for. With Finn helping her, she’ll probably be fine, but Ludo will stop at nothing to find her.

What if I never get the chance to tell her? What if I die before I’m ever able to see her again? What if Oliver and Elliot are already dead?

More repeating thoughts. They make me sick to my stomach as I grip the balcony’s railing and stare out over the yard.

I spent the entirety of yesterday locked up in Aubrey’s old bedroom. Someone brought me food, but I refused to eat it. I don’t want anything from Holloway, nor am I sure that I trust it.

This morning, I woke up and enjoyed a few blissful moments of comfort before reality came crashing down on me. The comfortable mattress and soft sheets tricked me into thinking I was home.

Now, the spring air envelops me as I watch Holloway’s men patrol the perimeter of the yard. It seems that our betrayal has triggered Ludo to be even more cautious. He’s at least doubled the amount of men he has outside since the wedding.

I sigh. Without a clock, I’m unsure of what time it is. Sometime around nine, probably, given that the sun rose a couple hours ago.

It doesn’t matter, I realize bitterly. Time doesn’t mean anything anymore.

Maybe it will one day if we can find a way out of here. For now, though, I’m left studying the patterns of the guards and straining to hear conversations that could mean anything. If we try to escape, we have to make sure we’re successful, or my brothers will die.

We’ll all die.

My grip on the railing tightens as images of Oliver and Elliot’s tortured, mangled corpses flit through my mind. I can’t think like that. As far as I know, they’re still alive. If I can cling to that, maybe I can find a way to save us.

It’s the least you can do, you selfish, uncaring bastard.

We wouldn’t be in this damn position if it weren’t for me. If I could’ve found a way to be satisfied with Ludo’s death and only his death, then this would all be far in the past. We could’ve killed Ludo years ago and moved on.

Instead, I’ve subjected us to a decade of misery. None of us have been able to fully heal from Sammy’s death because I wanted to draw out Ludo’s suffering. I put the people I love the most through hell, and for what? We failed.

They’re going to die because of you.

I grit my teeth, wishing I could untangle my father’s voice from the thoughts spinning around in my head.

Useless.

No good.

All your fault.

The bedroom door opens, and I whip around at the sound. Two men step inside, both tall with broad shoulders.

“Let’s go,”

one of them says.

I step into the room, closing the balcony doors behind me. “Where?”

“Now,”

he bites out.

Of course I’m not getting an answer.

Crossing the room, I feel my muscles tense as I wait for the men to grab me, but they don’t. One leads me down the hallway, and the other trails behind us.

“Where are we going?”

I ask again.

“You’re going to meet your brother,”

the guy in front of me says.

“He doesn’t know you’re a prisoner here. He thinks you’re a guest, and that’s how it’s gonna stay. You understand?”

It’s so Benny doesn’t get upset. That’s what Andrew told me when he and his partner threw me in my bedroom. It didn’t make sense to me then because I never thought Ludo would let me anywhere near my brothers.

The man in front of me stops and whips around, his glare intense.

“Do you understand?”

“I’m not going to jeopardize my brothers’ safety.”

“Good.”

He turns on his heel and continues walking.

A mild form of hope fills me as I follow him. If they’re going to let me out of my room, maybe I’ll be able to find some way to get us out of here. I’m not sure how—I’ll have to be careful—but it’s something.

Downstairs, I’m led into the dining room. Holloway is sitting at one end of the table, leisurely picking at a cluster of grapes. Based on the light smile on his face, it seems like he’s in an unusually good mood.

Axel is on Ludo’s left side, but he’s not eating. His dark hair is pulled up into its usual bun, showcasing the upside-down cross tattoo on his temple. I’m pretty sure he looks paler than normal, but I could be imagining it.

As I cross the room, Ludo nods to the chair across from Axel. I lower myself into it silently and fold my hands into my lap.

“Please,”

Ludo says, gesturing to the food laid out on the table. “Eat.”

I don’t move.

At that, his smile falls, replaced with a menacing stare.

“Your brothers will be joining us soon. Eat, Brooks.”

Brothers? I have to school my frown. Obviously, most of Ludo’s men don’t eat with him, so why does Andrew get that privilege? Is it to help Benny feel more at home here, or is it to manipulate me?

Of course it’s to manipulate you. That’s the whole fucking point.

Grudgingly, I place some fruit on my plate, along with some buttered toast. Food is the last thing on my mind, but I can play along. The other option is one I’d prefer not to dwell on.

“Benny seems to be adjusting fine,”

Ludo says without addressing me or Axel.

“Since I brought Andrew back from his training, Benny has even started liking it around here. Says he prefers it over living with your father.”

I swallow down my retort with a gulp of water, setting the glass down on the table much more forcefully than I need to. Some of the liquid sloshes over the side and onto the tablecloth, causing Axel to arch an annoyed brow at me.

“I think getting to know you will do him good,”

Ludo says.

“He has questions—who I am, why I care enough to help him and Andrew, et cetera. He’s at that age where vague answers don’t satisfy him anymore.”

“And that’s where I come in?”

I ask dryly, already knowing exactly what Holloway wants to use me as.

“Learning about who you are will keep Benny distracted and give him something else to think about,”

Ludo continues.

“I want him happy, of course, and I’m sure you want to get to know your younger brother.”

Translation: the more attached I get to Benny, the less likely I’ll be to try and pull shit behind Ludo’s back.

It’s not like I can refuse the offer, even if I wanted to. And the thing is, I do want to get to know Benny. The more he trusts me, the easier it’ll be to convince him to leave with me when the time comes.

“I didn’t think you were the type who cared about a child’s happiness,”

I say before I can stop myself.

With a dark chuckle, Ludo takes a long sip of what looks like orange juice.

“Makes Andrew easier to manipulate.”

I still. Over the last day and a half, my feelings toward my younger brother have gone from anger to pity to protectiveness before circling back to the beginning. Andrew is young, but what he did was beyond stupid, to the point that it looks malicious.

Yet I’m well aware of the way someone who holds power over you can influence your thoughts and actions with a few simple words. Ludo has Andrew and Benny’s lives in the palm of his hand, and he’s done more to manipulate Andrew than I know. Can I really blame a nineteen-year-old who’s as powerless as I am?

The doors to the dining room open, and a young boy darts in.

“Benny,”

Andrew calls, his voice laced with irritation.

“Get back here.”

The boy dashes toward the table, where there are still a couple empty place settings. When he sees us—when he sees me—he stops short.

“What happened to your face?”

he asks just as Andrew strides into the room.

“Benny,”

Andrew snaps, his pace brisk and his eyes set with annoyance.

“Don’t be rude.”

I smile. It’s been a long time since I interacted with a kid. I forgot how unfiltered they can be.

“Got into a fight,”

I say simply.

Benny’s eyes go wide.

“Did you win?”

“I…”

Dropping my gaze to the table, I lower my voice and add in just a hint of disappointment.

“No, I didn’t.”

That seems to disappoint Benny. His mouth pulls down into a frown as he slides into the chair next to Axel. A box of cereal is already next to his bowl along with a pitcher of milk.

As Andrew moves toward his brother, Ludo looks between my bruised face and the healing cuts on Andrew’s knuckles. Just as I hoped, he puts the pieces together and smirks. I’ll have to fix things between me and Andrew at some point, but I don’t want Ludo to suspect that. If it looks like we’re fighting, Holloway won’t have any reason to think we’re working together.

Not that we are, of course, but I have to keep my options open.

Andrew sighs as he reaches for Benny.

“Your shirt—”

“Stop,”

Benny exclaims as he ducks away from Andrew.

“I don’t need you to baby me.”

“Your shirt is on inside out,”

Andrew replies flatly.

“Whatever.”

Rolling his eyes, Benny shoves a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

Something tugs at my heart, making it hard for me to breathe. The boys are acting just like you’d expect two siblings to. As I watch them, it hits me, just how much of their lives I’ve missed out on. No one could ever replace Sammy, but I miss moments like these with her. She always got annoyed when I fussed over her—unless she wanted attention, that is.

God, I miss her.

Under the table, my hand curls into a fist. Ludo has no clue just how well his plan is already working. As far as I can tell, he doesn’t realize he’s the one who took Sammy away from me. He’s entirely unaware of the chain reaction he’s setting off in my head by putting me in the same room as my brothers. Not fully, anyway.

Andrew rounds the table and lowers himself into the seat next to me. He’s as stiff as I am as he wordlessly fills his plate. It doesn’t help that Axel is watching both of us, not even trying to hide the fact that he’s staring.

“Benny,”

Ludo says once the kid has finished his cereal.

“Do you remember I told you we have a guest?”

Nodding, Benny flicks his gaze to me.

“This is Rhett Brooks.”

“Hey, that’s my last name,”

Benny says. He peers at me more closely, a question in his eyes that he doesn’t voice.

“Do you remember that fantasy book you were telling me about?”

Andrew asks, and based on Ludo’s sharp glare, I don’t think he’s supposed to be talking right now.

Again, Benny rolls his eyes.

“You think I’d forget?”

Andrew ignores the remark.

“Remember how you were telling me that the main character—what was his name? Ryan? He—”

“Ryker,”

Benny corrects.

“Yeah, so Ryker went on that adventure to—”

“It’s called a quest, Drew.”

At that, Axel’s lips twitch, and he coughs into his elbow. His eyes are sparkling as he shares an amused glance with Ludo—although Ludo looks more irritated than anything.

“Whatever,”

Andrew grumbles.

“Ryker goes on a quest, and he discovers he has a sister that he didn’t know about. And she didn’t know about him, either.”

“Yeah, yeah, Amity.”

Benny is leaning forward now, his focus fully on his brother.

“She helped him discover his powers.”

“Right. Well, before either of us were born, Dad used to be married.”

Ludo settles back in his chair. His previous annoyance is gone now that he’s following Andrew’s train of thought, although he still looks a little impatient.

“Yeah,”

Benny says slowly—almost mockingly. “To Mom.”

Andrew shakes his head.

“He had a wife before Mom. She died a long time ago.”

Did Richard tell him this? Or did Holloway fill him in? My anger rises as I realize it must’ve been Ludo. That wasn’t his fucking place.

“Wait.”

Now, Benny turns back to me.

“You… you’re our brother?”

Silently, I nod. I’m not sure I can control my voice right now. It’s taking everything in me to maintain an appearance of calmness.

“Told you he’d get it,”

Andrew says to Ludo.

“Yeah, so Benny, Dad—”

“Do we have powers?”

Benny blurts. He’s practically vibrating with excitement as his eyes flit from me to Andrew.

“Is that what this is about? We have powers like Ryker and Amity?”

“No.”

Andrew rubs his face.

“How many times have I told you that magic doesn’t exist? Come on, Benny, that’s obviously not what this is about.”

“So you’re just… normal?”

Benny asks me. His face has fallen, and for the second time this morning, he’s looking at me with disappointment.

It hurts more than I’d like to admit.

“Pretty much,” I say.

“Then why didn’t Dad tell us about you?”

Benny demands.

“There must be some reason, right?”

“I haven’t talked to Richard in over a decade.”

I shift uncomfortably. Do twelve-year-olds know how long a decade is? “He had you and Andrew secretly. Never told me you two existed. I wish I could explain all the reasons why, but I don’t think—”

“Don’t say you’ll tell me when I’m older,”

Benny snaps.

“I’m sick of that shit.”

“Benny!”

Andrew shoots him a glare.

“Watch your mouth.”

“Why don’t you watch yours?”

Benny snaps back.

“You’re the one who taught me.”

“Jesus Christ,”

Andrew mutters under his breath.

“Enough,”

Ludo says as he sits up.

“Benny, I invited Rhett here because I thought you’d like to get to know him better.”

Benny narrows his eyes at me.

“Have the plans changed? Because I don’t want to live with some stranger. I want to live with Andrew.”

“I’m not here to try to change that,”

I say, adding as much reassurance into my voice as I can.

“I’m just happy you’ve both found a way to get away from Richard.”

At that, Benny’s features soften just a touch.

“Was he bad to you, too?”

I nod as a lump forms in my throat. There’s absolutely no way I’m spilling my guts to the boys in front of Ludo. It’ll be hard enough without him here, but I have to. It’s a point of connection, a shared experience—one that’ll hopefully earn me at least some of Benny’s trust.

Axel slides his gaze away from me, glancing at his watch before standing.

“We have work to do, boss.”

Seemingly satisfied enough with where our conversation is going, Ludo stands.

“I’m glad I could bring you three together.”

My stomach twists into knots, and for a moment, I’m worried I’m going to puke up the little food I’ve eaten.

“Thanks,”

Andrew says.

“Can you bring me sour gummies again?”

Benny asks, grabbing Axel’s sleeve as he stands.

“Pleeeeease?”

“That depends,”

Axel replies smoothly.

“On what?”

“You already know.”

Axel gives him a look.

“If Mia tells me you paid attention during your lessons, then I’ll give you some.”

Benny groans and slumps into his chair. I’m surprised by the jealousy that tinges my thoughts as I realize this is an established dynamic between Axel and my little brother. It feels like yet another thing that’s been stolen away from me.

Before exiting the dining room, Ludo pauses and looks me over. I don’t bother hiding my anger this time. He needs to see it—to know that I feel every ounce of pain he wants me to. If I try to hide it, Holloway will only find a way to inflict more.

With a smirk that Benny can’t see, Ludo slips outside, quickly followed by Axel. The moment they’re out of sight, some of the weight on my chest eases. We’re not alone—the two men who brought me here won’t let me out of their sight, I’m sure—but it’s better.

“You okay?”

Andrew asks Benny.

“Yeah,”

Benny says quietly. He’s staring at me, still slouched in his seat, and I don’t think the sadness in his eyes has to do with the gummies.

“You really didn’t know about us?”

“I wouldn’t’ve abandoned you,”

I say softly.

“And you’re really… you’re really my brother?”

“Half,”

Andrew corrects.

“Mom isn’t his mom.”

Benny frowns.

“Does that matter much?”

“Depends on who you ask,”

I reply.

“What you think about it is up to you.”

“Are you a lot like Dad?”

Benny asks hesitantly.

“I don’t think so.”

With a sad smile, I lean forward.

“I try not to be.”

Benny glances to Andrew for confirmation, and Andrew shrugs.

“I don’t know much about him either.”

“Why didn’t Dad tell us?”

Benny’s hands ball into small fists on the table.

“That’s not fair!”

“We’ll talk about Richard soon,”

I say, “but not today. For now, let’s focus on each other. I wish I’d been there for all of your life, but I’m just happy to be here now.”

Not entirely the truth—I wish our current circumstances were different—but Benny seems mostly oblivious. If I can try to reduce how traumatizing this is for him, I want to. And talking about Richard… I’m going to need some time to figure out how to do so tactfully.

“I guess that’s true,”

Benny says, his tone turning contemplative.

“It’s really nice that Mr. Holloway brought you here.”

All my thoughts come to a grinding halt. Fuck.

Of course Benny sees Ludo as a good person. He’s given Benny a place to stay, and he’s promised to help Andrew get custody of him. If someone had come along and gotten me and Sammy out from Richard’s care when we were younger, I would’ve looked up to them, too.

It sounds like they got off to a rocky start considering Benny didn’t know what was happening at first, but he’s come around. He likes Ludo—sees him as his hero.

“Yeah,”

I say thickly, knowing full-well that Holloway’s men will report every word of this conversation back to him.

“Really nice.”

I have to find a way to get us out of here.