Page 51 of Royally Drawn (Resplendent Royals #3)

Reeling

INGRID

“ Y ou’ve got to get up and move,” Odette said.

“Why, so I can watch Parker and Astrid leave all happy for their honeymoon? So, I can dote on the kids while sobbing internally?”

Odette sat down on my bed. I rolled over and pulled the covers up. She climbed in with me, pulling them up over her head stubbornly. As she wrapped her arms around me, I started to sob again. This was the worst day of my life. Everything happy was over. The only person I’d poured everything out to ran off. He’d lied and hurt me.

“Take it from someone who had a terrible breakdown post-breakup; this is not the way forward,” Odette said. “Guy used me. He hurt me. I know what you mean. I know what it is like to pour your heart out only to feel betrayed. But you must move on.”

I faced her. “The thing is, I wish I could hate him. But he didn’t do anything like that. He pulled back because he was afraid or something. It wasn’t malicious, but it hurts so much, Odie.”

“I know, darling. But this whole thing about staying in bed for two days? It’s not healthy. You get one good day and must get out of bed. Come on, let’s go out to the stables. ”

“I cannot. My head is all over the place.”

“Ingrid, you have always been the best rider of all of us. You love it more than anything. Never let a man take what you love from you, sweetheart.”

She had a point.

“What if I’m unlovable?”

“You keep saying that. I’ve been there, Ingy. It’s a lie. I’m not unlovable. With the right person, I can be loved the way I deserve. You are clever, loving, and funny. You deserve the best.”

“I’m sometimes too clever and too snarky. He got that. He got me . And the sex was fabulous.”

Odette snickered. “There will be good sex again. Promise. Come on. Take a bath, get dressed, and we’ll get you an old-fashioned cheer up.”

I did as she said. I had no reason to doubt her. Odette and I departed for the barn. We had an excellent old-fashioned hack on the back of reliable ponies. I rode for fun, realising it was the first time I’d done so in months. I took it in. I soaked it up. There was no hurried travel or wondering if I would make it somewhere on time for something. I appreciated that.

I wasn’t ready to have dinner with everyone, so I closed myself off again. Alexandra sent me food, but I barely ate it. Instead, I stayed up late and roamed like a ghost. I ended up in the family room around one. I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t get him out of my head.

Rick appeared with a fussy baby on his shoulder and a bottle in his hand as I was deep into a trashy show where contestants went on dates blindfolded.

“You have a nanny, you realise?” I asked.

“Alexandra is in full-on angry mare mode. She does this every time. Trust me when I say it is futile to suggest that others help. Can I join you until I settle her?”

“Sure,” I said. “It’s your house.”

“It’s still your house, Ingrid,” Rick said, sounding wounded. “You are always welcome here. I never?—”

I walked back my tone. “I’m sorry. I’m just in my feelings. I know you would never want me gone. ”

Rick settled in with the baby. “I worry about you, kiddo.”

“I know you do. I know Alexandra does. Astrid noted her rage.”

“She only wants you to be happy. I want to string him up by his balls and torture him about right now, but I’m sure that’s… unhelpful.”

“Don’t,” I shook my head. “It’s not his fault he doesn’t want me.”

“I don’t think that’s it, sweetheart,” Rick said. “Ingy, he loves you. I still believe he does. That’s what makes me so angry. He broke your heart on the night of Astrid’s wedding, and he knows better.”

“He can’t help?—”

“Bullshit, Ingrid. He’s plenty old enough to know he could have handled it better.”

“He was panicked. It’s like he shut down. He says he doesn’t know if he wants kids or if he can commit to me. He says he’ll love me forever but cannot commit to marriage. Which means he doesn’t love me, right?”

“He’s panicking over something,” Rick said. “And it’s not you. Maybe it’s going off to war? My mandatory military service was hell, and I never even saw anything like combat.”

“It’s not that. He enjoys his job. Loves it even. He doesn’t love me enough to step back and take a desk job.”

Rick looked sympathetic and tossed Manon over his shoulder to burp.

“I think you need to wait him out, Ingrid. That doesn’t mean waiting around for him and ignoring other offers, but I sense he will return.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because some guys take forever to grow up. And whatever is rolling around in his brain needs time.”

“How?”

Manon let out a massive burp, provoking hearty laughs.

“So demure!” I giggled.

“Demure princesses wouldn’t last a minute here,” Rick said.

“True.”

“I can say that I had a lot of negative feelings about myself before you all came into my life. I thought I could not be properly loved and love someone as they deserved,” Rick said. “But you all taught me I was no monster. Maybe Keir worries he will hurt you? I don’t know. But that’s a him problem. My hope for him is that he can change.”

“I refuse to wait around for a man to change his mind. No one changes their mind.”

“Your sister wanted to kill me until five days before our wedding,” Rick said. “And look at us now! I practised patience, grovelled to no end, and tried to save the day. She found it in her heart to forgive me. In your case, I think the issue will be you forgiving him. You don’t have to, but I’d hate to see either of you lose out on love over this, Ingrid. If it is meant to be, it will. In the meantime, live. Be your best self. Focus on you . Be happy. You deserve all of those things, sweetheart.”

It never occurred to me that this wasn’t over forever. Maybe Rick was right, but I wouldn’t be burned twice. I couldn’t accept that.