Page 46 of Royally Drawn (Resplendent Royals #3)

Worrying

KEIR

T he pacing began around one. News came from Astrid that Alexandra had hit “a wall” with pushing, and she was probably heading for a c-section. Alexandra wanted to avoid it, but they may not have another option. Odette and Ingrid stayed busy watching Linnea, Karolina, and Christophe. It seemed the children distracted them from their worries about Alexandra’s health.

We listened as the press gathered outside the hospital only a few blocks away. People gathered outside the gates in hopes they might see a woman who had just given birth pass through in a matter of hours. The city was initially excited—loud and expecting the Queen and her consort to emerge with a new baby any minute. Then, about the time Parker asked if we’d like to have tea for the evening, everything fell quiet. The eerie stillness made me uneasy,

The nanny took the children as Parker sat down with us, heart heavy. By the look on his face, Astrid rang him to tell him something, and now he was the unlucky victim to communicate it. I worried something happened to the baby. It had been too long since we’d heard anything.

“Astrid called,” Parker said. “And… there’s been an issue. ”

Ingrid and Odette stared at one another across the dining table, nervous. My stomach turned. Something was wrong. I felt like I was falling—as if I’d dropped backwards, but there was nothing to grip onto.

“Alexandra had complications. Astrid said she eventually gave in to the c-section, but… that was complicated too.”

Parker wavered, confused.

“Just say it,” Ingrid said. “Say what you need to say.”

“Alexandra lost a lot of blood. She had a major haemorrhage, and… she’s still under sedation as they try to control the bleeding. Astrid is in charge, and everything is fine.”

“So, she will be alright?” Odette asked.

If Astrid was in charge, the chain of command would be top of mind. I couldn’t speak for Neandia’s specific constitutional monarchy, but I knew if Duncan took over for Aunt Natalie, it was due to her complete incapacitation. The Prime Minister would have already been involved, and things would be in disaster mode.

“She’s in hospital. The hospital will keep her safe,” Parker said.

His words were confident, but his voice was shaky, and his face frightened.

“I am sure she’s in the best place she could be,” I added.

Ingrid looked about to shut down. Odette looked hopeful and had questions. Ingrid stared off into space, panicked. I felt sick to my stomach, unable to speak.

“She’ll be home with the baby soon,” Odette murmured.

“He hasn’t said the baby is alive,” Ingrid murmured, as if in a dream state.

“The baby is alive,” Parker confirmed. “She’s alive and healthy. But Alexandra still needs more blood and time. Rick is busy with the baby. Astrid is with Alexandra.”

“Why the fuck would he leave Alexandra?” I asked.

My anger didn’t come from rage as much as it from confusion and projection, but the timing was horrible.

“He had to go with the baby,” Parker said.

“He should stay with his wife because… she’s the one who could die. The baby… it’s just a baby and… ”

I was now confusing myself. Ingrid put her hand on my leg as if to restrain me. She gave me a look of concern—sympathy rather than empathy—and it upset me.

“I would kill anyone who tried to separate me from you,” I said, speaking only to her. “Anyone who tried to tell me to leave, I would fight them.”

“Keir, you must listen to the doctors,” Ingrid said. “I don’t think it’s helpful to question what Rick is doing right now.”

“No. He’s doing the best he can,” Odette added. “He loves her.”

“He does,” Ingrid murmured in French.

“She’s a fighter,” Parker said, staring at me.

His gaze was one of contempt. I knew I wasn’t helping. I also knew I had little control of my emotions at the moment—the overwhelming urge to punch a wall brewed. I don’t know where my rage came from in these moments, only that I wanted to scream and fight anyone to make myself feel something—anything to distract from the feelings I didn’t want to have.

“She’s going to be okay,” Parker said. “We just have to wait for her to get stronger.”

“I need a minute,” I said, standing.

“But food is coming,” Ingrid said, flat and distant.

“I just… I’m taking a walk.”

I walked up and down the corridor. I heard the children in their little room down the hall joking and laughing as if nothing happened. The noises were so quiet in reality but felt so very loud. My entire brain felt like it was shouting different words over and over—all unintelligible.

Then, I felt a hand on my arm. I turned in fear.

“Stop, stop, it’s just me,” Ingrid pleaded fearfully.

“Shit. God, you frighted me!”

“Keir, are you alright?”

I started to come down, seeing the colour and range of emotion come back to her face. I pulled her close, holding her tight against me, and kissed the top of her head. She grounded me.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I should have never said anything. ”

Ingrid pulled back and took my face in her hands. “It’s okay. We all have fucked up backstories. Talk to me. What is happening?”

“I don’t want to talk about me while we’re waiting for Alex?—”

“Alexandra is okay,” Ingrid said. “She is awake… just sedated… and Astrid has confirmed she is acting as head of state out of an abundance of caution. We just got the call confirming Alex is awake.”

“Well, then, it’s fine. Let’s?—”

“Keir, what did you see back there? What set you off?”

“Nothing,” I shook my head. “Nothing.”

“Don’t lie and hide things from me, Keir. Tell me.”

I took her hands, pulled them down to her side, and then shook my head.

“Keir, I need you to be honest, or this won’t work.”

“I… it was the look on your face—the vacant, detached look—that reminded me of something.”

“Something what?”

“Something from when I was little. Dad went out with Peder—Uncle Peder, as we called him then—and they returned. Peder took Lars to Paris for his weekend there. His mother lives in Paris. And… well, Dad was down. He was exhausted from even just sitting on the boat. He was napping on the couch. I went upstairs to help Mamma bring things down from the linen closet. I tried to distract myself. Because if I looked at Dad and wondered if he were breathing, I’d drive myself mad.”

Her face was sympathetic. I continued.

“So, we came back down. Mamma went to check on Dad. I was coming downstairs when this bit of loo roll rolled across the floor. I looked down from where it came—like a trail of breadcrumbs—and watched Mamma sitting beside Dad on the couch. She had that same vacant look—the one you had where you stared off into space, disbelieving. And it… it set me on this journey. I don’t know why.”

“Was he… okay?”

“No,” I answered. “He was dead. I picked up the loo roll, put it in the bathroom, and listened to my mother call my aunt before she told me Daddy died and then sobbed until the authorities arrived to deal with Dad’s body. ”

“Oh, Keir, darling, I’m so sorry. That is… awful.”

I wiped my tears away. “The most disturbing part? It was hearing Win and Ollie crying and watching Mamma not hear them. They’d been napping. I went upstairs and, with Nate’s help, got them some snacks. I realised I knew everything had changed, but no one else had. I was worried somehow that I knew something there you didn’t. And… I dunno… I am so glad I didn’t.”

She squeezed my hands. “I’m scared, too. Alex is still really sick. The baby is okay. We will make it out, though. She was luckily in a safe place where they could care for her. I’m… I am grateful, Keir.”

I took her face in my hands now, slowly leaning in. I kissed her forehead and said, “Me, too. I am grateful everyone is okay.”

And though I was relieved to hear better news, the feeling of concern, fear, and loss didn’t fade. As I flew home that evening alone, I couldn’t help but worry about Ingrid. What if something happened to her? What if they wanted to take her away from me in a moment like that? I wouldn’t desert her for the baby I didn’t know, right? Why was it that this detail stuck with me? I didn’t understand.