Page 40 of Royally Drawn (Resplendent Royals #3)

Something Real

KEIR

“ I ngrid?” I found Ingrid in the stateroom where we’d escaped before. She was a creature of habit, and I’d guessed well. “Darling, are you okay? Cici said?—

“I am fine.” She said it in French, sniffling as she did.

“Can I come in?”

“I’m a mess, and you’ll make it worse,” Ingrid said. “You don’t want me.”

I opened the door to find her a wreck, sobbing on the bed in the foetal position. It broke my heart. I’d been upset with Lars on the yacht last month, but this was worse. I knew her enough to know she could be fragile. She could be sensitive. Someone had pushed her to the edge. I sat on the bed next to her, rubbing her back and waited for her to speak. I didn’t press her; I just showed her I cared.

“Alexandra is being a gigantic bitch, and I cannot go back out there.”

“What?” I asked. “How? What did she do?”

“Astrid put two and two together. She and I were having a bit of a laugh about my bad behaviour—all in good fun—and Alex went off on a tangent about my fucking reputation and her being responsible for it.”

“Ingrid, people adore you. I wouldn’t panic,” I said, confused.

“You don’t get it. She thinks I’m worth less. And… she thinks I’m some slag. I don’t… I’m not. I know that deep down. But... I worry there isn’t some kernel of truth.”

“Ingrid, you were a virgin until what? A bloody month ago?” I laughed. “Even if you’d been with a dozen men or more, that’s an unfair assessment.”

“You must say that, though.”

“No,” I shook my head. “Leah has the libido of a sixteen-year-old boy. And she has all the choices and none of the chill. I’d come for them if anyone said anything to her. It’s okay to enjoy sex, and… you shouldn’t be shamed for that. Alexandra has hang-ups. She’s projecting.”

“She’d lose her mind if I were like Leah,” Ingrid said. “Not because she’s bi. She’s not a homophobe. But just because Leah is wild . And I’m giving her fits for having you stay over last night.”

“I can tone it down if I’m the problem.”

“You’re not.” Ingrid shook her head.

It killed me to see her so upset. It made me feel worse that I had something to do with this.

“She says you’ll leave me in some state of repetitional ruin. And, maybe you will discard me?—”

“I would never just discard you, Ingrid. You’re not an old shirt. You’re a beautiful, lovely human. I could never do that.”

“But what is the longest relationship you’ve ever managed?” She asked.

I brushed her cheek with my hand. Her skin was so soft. “I haven’t been fortunate in love, Ingrid. Admittedly, my twenties were… not great. I’ve also been out of the country quite a bit. It’s not easy to date a pilot. I don’t have much beef with any of my exes. I don’t think I’ve been a bad boyfriend, but I struggle to let people in.”

“Why?” Ingrid asked.

I could tell her the truth—one I loathed and rarely shared—or I could hold it in and make a joke. Most women would have probably accepted the latter at this stage. I sensed Ingrid might find it disingenuous and immature. I wanted to be honest with her—obligated by her trust in me to be honest. I always asked her to trust me . Now was my time to trust her.

“I have a lot of baggage that… hurts,” I said, voice emotional. “Losing my dad and becoming the man of the house—a fucking duke before puberty—was awful. And I know it was far worse for you, but… it fucks with my head.”

Ingrid sat up. “Odette always says it’s not good to compare trauma. It’s not a fucking competition. That’s her experience from years of therapy.”

“That’s wise,” I said.

“Your feelings aren’t… they aren’t hard to relate to. It’s why Alexandra’s words hurt the most. Because she’s all I have—my protector and my advocate. And if she’s against me…”

“I don’t think she is. I think she wants to protect you the best way she knows how. She’s probably a bit sus about me. That’s fair.”

I squeezed Ingrid’s hand. “My aunt said it the other day when I explained why I liked you so much.”

“You told your aunt?”

I nodded. “Yeah. We’re close. She worries about me—like Alexandra does about you. I told her that I end things before they have a chance to percolate. I end them because I think I am doing someone a favour. I think it’s usually for the best. Most people struggle enough with my title and job. Fewer still would ever see me as more than broken.”

Ingrid looked at me lovingly. In a sweet voice, she said, “I don’t think you’re broken. I think, like me, you use humour to deflect when you’re hurt. You worry about people accepting the sadness you sometimes have. Like Alex, you probably carry a load that most people couldn’t understand. That doesn’t make you broken or less worthy. It makes you human, and it means you’re compassionate.”

“I dunno. My stepbrother still wants to strangle me.”

“He will calm down,” she said. “He’s been all over that countess from wherever.”

I snickered. “I think he thinks he’s getting back at you. ”

“I am only interested in you, so it’s foolish if that’s his plan. The point was you came clean and tried to do it right.”

“If I did it right, I wouldn’t have even said a word to you?—”

“That is stupid. You’re allowed to like me, Keir. Why does all of that bother you so much?”

Looking into her eyes, feeling vulnerable, I considered the why. She drew me in once more. This time, the feeling wasn’t lust. I thought for a moment. It was safety. Her words made me feel seen and accepted. No one other than my mother or aunt had ever made me feel so cared for. I didn’t see this moment coming. I started this as a fling, wanting to satisfy her and my curiosity. Now, as she looked up at me so sweetly, I couldn’t help but want a lot more. This wasn’t just attraction. For the first time, I felt drawn to someone in this pull I could not drop. I loved this woman. Really loved her.

“I don’t like you,” I said.

Her face twisted in confusion. She went to stand, but I held her by the wrist. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out like that. I… I think I love you, Ingrid. And that’s… that’s the issue. I didn’t realise it until now.”

She teared up again. “If this is some sort of sick game, I swear to God?—”

“It’s not, Ingrid,” I said.

“You probably say that to everyone?—”

I took her face in my hands and kissed her forehead. “No. I’ve never said that to anyone.”

Sensing she needed space; I pulled back slightly. Surprise spread across her lips and eyebrows. She was beautiful, but I adored this delicate sweetness to her the most. I didn’t expect anything in return. I didn’t think she would reciprocate. That was fine. But if I said anything else, it would be a lie, and I would never lie to Ingrid.

“You… love me?”

“Je t’aime,” I said. “Yes.”

She blushed and shook her head. “I… I don’t…”

“You don’t need to tell me you love me,” I said. “I’m not going to force you to say anything. And you won’t offend me if you don’t say it back, Ingrid. I want to be honest with you— always.”

She nodded. “I’m not upset. Just… shocked.”

“That makes two of us.”

Ingrid leaned in and kissed me slowly. At least she wasn’t upset with my admission. Pressing her lips to mine felt better than before. I felt so calm, safe, and incredibly at home with her. I wanted every moment to feel this good. I never wanted to leave this little stateroom. Unfortunately, we needed to.

I pulled away. “There’s going to be fireworks in…”

I checked my watch. “Like fifteen minutes.”

She kissed me again as if to reassure me. “Okay. You go ahead. I need to fix my makeup once more and take a moment.”

“Sure.” I kissed her on the forehead and left. I didn’t want to leave her.

Above deck, I spotted Alexandra with Rick. She glared at me. I shouldn’t have stopped to speak to her, but I was also full of righteous indignation. I stopped, stared her directly in the eyes, and didn’t dare bow.

“She’s putting herself back together,” I said. “And… I know you may doubt my intentions, but… I do care about her.”

“I beg your pardon?” Alexandra said.

“I do not think you meant to wound her, but you did. For the record, I don’t want ever to hurt her. I… I love her. And… you probably don’t care about my feelings, but… you hurt her feelings.”

Alexandra’s face dropped.

“You do realise who you are talking to?” Rick said.

He was bound to call me out. I probably would have done the same in his position.

“No, Rick, it’s… fine.” Alexandra’s face softened. “I’m sorry. I said some things I probably shouldn’t. I worry about her. You’re older, and I assumed you weren’t serious. I thought it might be puppy love. She’s young, Keir.”

“There isn’t anything wrong with those things,” I said, “but if anyone is head-over-heels and over their head, it’s me. I adore her. Please don’t think ill of Ingrid for giving me a chance.”

Rick backed down as if retreating .

Alexandra nodded. “Thank you for being… honourable. But you both should mind yourselves more. Ingrid is new to everything.”

“I know,” I chuckled. “But if you have met my cousins, you would realise Ingrid is a saint. No one faults her.”

Rick nodded. “We want to take care of her. She’s… she’s the baby.”

“I get it,” I agreed. “And in your position, I understand that impulse. If we were talking about Betty, I’d probably have choice words for any man in this position, but please trust me when I say I have no intention of hurting her. I’m far from perfect, but I love her.”

Ingrid approached, face concerned.

“It’s fine,” Rick said. “Keir was just… chatting. Why don’t you all go get a drink?”

“Indeed,” Alexandra added. “Go, enjoy yourself. I am sorry for speaking to you as I did, Ingrid. It was unfair. This is a happy day. Go, drink. Be merry or whatever.”

Ingrid took my hand. We walked towards the bar. As we waited in line to order, she dropped her head onto my shoulder, leaning on me. For a moment, I could picture us happy. I could dream of us growing something real.