Page 18 of Road Trip

CHAPTER

EIGHTEEN

MATT

Cape Charles, VA

C ape Fucking Charles, Virginia.

Population: old people, tourists, and Jacob.

I’d been busting my gut to get out of Cape Charles forever, and now Jacob was driving us right on back there. Turn left on the highway just past the Food Lion at the white and blue sign that promised people they’d love our town. Then down Stone Road past all the familiar houses and fields, watching as the distant water tower grew closer and closer. And once you hit the water tower, you were in town.

Jacob didn’t ask before he turned off at the Food Lion, just headed for his place like always, instead of mine. My mom usually worked late, and I usually ate at Jacob’s place and had done forever. I was probably going to get a grilling from Mr. and Mrs. Mercer over the whole California clusterfuck, but at least I’d get fed as well.

When we made it into town, it wasn’t dark yet. In the summer, it was light until about 8:00 p.m., which gave me time to figure out where I’d be staying tonight, at least. I hadn’t heard from my mom since she’d texted me in California. I’d messaged her and told her we were heading back. I figured I’d just show up on her doorstep and hope for the best. What was that saying? Home was where they had to take you in, or something like that. Mind you, that felt like it had been written by someone who wasn’t trying to squeeze three adults and one guitar collection into a double-wide.

I hadn’t told Jacob any of that. What was the point? He’d only worry. Instead, I’d spent the drive back doing my best ostrich impression and pretending this really was just a fun road trip with my new boyfriend where we stayed in motels and slept naked next to each other. But that river in Egypt was looking pretty fucking dry right now, and reality was looming.

After being on the highway for so long, it felt like we’d slowed to a crawl in the familiar streets of Cape Charles, like I could get out and walk faster. We turned onto Plum Street and drove past the park, past houses with their Fourth of July bunting still up, and we finally made the turn into Peach Street, where we pulled into the driveway at the Mercers’ house.

Jacob switched off the engine and sagged back into his seat with a sigh, and silence fell between us. I waited for him to get out, but he just sat there, staring at the steering wheel.

“Long fucking drive,” I muttered at last.

Jacob smiled and put his hand palm up on the center console. I put mine in it, and we laced our fingers together.

“Long fucking drive,” he agreed softly.

The front door of the Mercers’ house burst open, and Luke bolted down the steps. “Get in here, you dickwads!” he bellowed. “You’re late for dinner!”

“Luke!” Mr. Mercer yelled from inside the house.

“Sorry, Dad!” Luke yelled back and then waved across the road. “Sorry, Mrs. Pope!”

The old lady across the road flicked her garden hose in his direction, and an arc of water splattered on the street. It didn’t come anywhere near Luke, though.

I let go of Jacob’s hand. I wondered if he’d hold mine again with his parents watching. Had he told them we were together? Or was that one of those conversations that was better in person? I’d always been shit at social cues but Jacob would know. And I’d find out what he was planning on telling them soon enough, if I could just get my shit together and get out of the car.

I sucked in a breath and opened the door at the same time Jacob did, and we got out.

And just like that, our road trip was over.

Luke dragged Jacob into a hug, then bounced around to the back of the RAV4 to help with our stuff, I guessed, or just to get in the way. Mr. and Mrs. Mercer came out of the house just as Jacob opened the back and dragged his backpack out, dropping it on the driveway. He pulled out a second bag that was filled with laundry and leaned in and reached for the tent.

It was only a cheap model, but it folded away to next to nothing and weighed even less, and if I was honest, the thought of that tent was the only thing that had kept me from panicking the whole drive back. Like, it was still warm at night. If Mom didn’t want me at home, at least I’d be able to camp out. “Hey. Can I have that?”

Jacob paused with one hand on the strap of the tent bag and turned to face me, his brow creased. “What?”

“The tent. Can I have it? It’s not like you’re gonna use it at Old Dominion.”

Jacob’s fingers flexed on the strap. “No, but I paid for it.”

I just glared. Usually that was enough to make Jacob back down, but it didn’t work.

He drew himself up to his full height and put his hands on his hips. “Matty, why do you want the tent?”

A tense moment passed before I caved. “Just…just in case, okay?”

“In case of what?” he asked. And before I could tell him to mind his own business, Mrs. Mercer was right beside us. Her forehead had exactly the same suspicious crease that Jacob’s did.

“In case of what , Matthew?” she asked too, and shit, I wasn’t sure I could lie to Jacob’s mom. Actually, scratch that. I was one hundred percent sure I couldn't lie to Jacob’s mom. I’d probably burst into flames or something.

I swallowed. Was there a way to say in case nobody has room for me without sounding like a fucking loser? Asking for me.

In the end I settled on, “I’m not sure my mom is expecting me.”

“No, but she texted you the other day, right?” Jacob said. “After…”

After my dad swept me off his porch like I was dogshit.

“Yeah.” I flashed a weak smile at Mrs. Mercer and shrugged. “But, um, I haven’t heard from her since then. And there’s a possibility that Zeke has moved in with his guitar collection. I mean, he can move some stuff if he has. It’s no big deal.”

Oh wow. Turned out I could lie to Jacob’s mom after all. Just not very convincingly.

“If it’s no big deal, why do you want the tent?” Jacob asked.

“Dude, are you homeless right now?” Luke asked, wide-eyed.

“Nobody is homeless,” Mr. Mercer said firmly.

“Lots of people are,” Luke said. “Like, it’s a big problem , Dad.”

Mr. Mercer pinched the bridge of his nose. “Grab a bag and go inside, Luke. Boys, you go inside too and get cleaned up for dinner. I’m going to go over and apologize to Mrs. Pope for Luke yelling dickwads loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear.”

“Watch out for her hose,” Mrs. Mercer said and then leveled a stare at Jacob and me. “Come on, inside with you two.”

Jacob picked up his backpack and went inside, and I followed him up the stairs to his room. He dropped his bag on the floor and turned to face me. “Were you really going to camp out?”

I shrugged. “Only as a last resort. Like, she’s probably just freezing me out right now because she’s pissed.”

“Jesus, Matty.” His face twisted up, but he looked hurt, not angry. “Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t know if you could move back home? Why don’t you tell me this stuff? This is like your dad again! I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong!”

I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want to be his loser boyfriend, someone he had to rescue all the time. I didn’t know how to explain it, but I did my best. “Because you’re all I have! And if I keep fucking up, you won’t want me either!”

Either .

I wished I could pull that word back the second it was out of my mouth. I saw the moment it registered with Jacob. The way his eyes widened with understanding and with pity, which was the last fucking thing I wanted. But I didn’t even have time to tell him to keep it to himself before he pulled me into a hug and squeezed me tightly.

“You’re my boyfriend,” he said. “And you’re my best friend. I will always want you.”

I buried my face against his chest and let myself be held. Jacob was right. He’d always been there, whenever I needed him. I could throw rocks at his window at 2:00 a.m. and he’d appear, like a genie coming out of a lamp.

I took a deep breath. “You’ll want me all the way from ODU, I guess.”

“It’s only an hour away.”

“But you won’t be here .”

Jacob let out an unhappy sound, but what could he say when he knew I was right? He wouldn’t be coming home every night. And he wouldn’t be coming home most weekends either, because he’d have study, and whatever part-time job he got, and friends .

It was only an hour, but it might as well have been the difference between here and California all over again.

It wasn’t fair of me to bring it up, but it wasn’t like it was news. Water was wet, Jacob was leaving, and everything sucked. The only good thing in my life right now was that Jacob did want me, and he’d told me he loved me.

“Dinner!” Mr. Mercer called from downstairs.

Jacob pressed a kiss to my forehead before letting me go. We headed downstairs, me trailing after him. I ran my fingertips along the wall, an ache in my chest as I thought of how many times I’d done this and how, when Jacob was at college, I wouldn’t just be able to turn up like a stray dog whenever I wanted. Mrs. Pope across the street would probably turn her hose on me—if Mrs. Mercer didn’t first.

I must have eaten thousands of dinners at the Mercers’ place, but this was the most awkward. And yeah, that was including the Christmas dinner I crashed when I was eleven and Jacob’s grandma, who had dementia, kept asking who I was and if I was lost and if someone ought to call the police. I still didn’t know if she’d wanted them to return me to my family or arrest me.

Mr. and Mrs. Mercer sat at opposite ends of the table. Luke sat on one side and Jacob and I sat on the other. The spot next to Luke’s was empty; cousin Charlie must have gone home already.

Dinner was chicken alfredo with a side of asparagus. I’d barely taken a bite when Mrs. Mercer said, “So. We have some questions.”

Shit.

“Why do you two have a tent?” she asked, which wasn’t the question I was dreading.

“Oh,” Jacob said and glanced at me, the idiot. Hesitating just made him look guilty. Some things you just had to brazen out, but Jacob had never gotten the hang of that or of telling a half-truth like he’d be willing to swear to it in a court of law. Like now, when he spoke and ended on a questioning note, as though he was afraid to commit to the whole thing. “We bought that because some nights we stayed in campgrounds?”

It was the questioning note that did us in.

“Some nights?” Mrs. Mercer asked, arching a brow .

Jacob was hopeless under interrogation. “We only camped at the side of the road a few times!”

“You what ?” Mr. and Mrs. Mercer said at the same time.

I shoved more chicken and pasta in my mouth while I could, just in case I had to make a quick exit. I didn’t want to do it on an empty stomach. This might be my last decent meal before Mr. and Mrs. Mercer accused me of endangering their son and kicked me out for good.

Jacob bit his lip. “We were fine! And there was only one night we ended up sleeping in the car anyway, so we were totally safe. Mostly.”

Mr. Mercer pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do I want to know why you ended up sleeping in the car? Or is this something I’m better off not knowing?”

I willed Jacob to go for option two, but my psychic powers were obviously on the fritz because he said, “Um, it was kind of funny really. We were hiding from?—”

“Were you chased by a bear ?” Luke asked, eyes wide.

Jacob glared at him. “No. A skunk.”

Hearing him say it like that, it was funny.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought so. Mrs. Mercer’s mouth twitched, and it looked like she was trying to hide a smile when she said, “Well, I’m glad you’re safe, but you’re a pair of idiots.”

“I didn’t think we had to include ‘Don’t camp out on the side of the road’ in the list of rules, but obviously we were wrong,” his father said, but he was doing an even worse job of hiding his amusement than Jacob’s mom.

I stopped shoveling food in my mouth quite so fast since it looked like I wasn’t getting thrown out. Plus, this was a killer alfredo and I wanted to enjoy it.

“Um,” Jacob said, and he put his hand on top of mine, the one that was resting on the table. “There’s some other stuff we need to tell you.”

“Oh?” His mother looked pointedly at our joined hands .

Holy shit, was Jacob about to come out to his parents?

“Yeah.” Jacob cleared his throat and gave my hand a squeeze. “Thing is, we never checked our tire pressure once. We kind of forgot.”

He paused, waiting for a reaction.

His dad waved a hand. “Not the worst thing you could have forgotten.”

Jacob nodded, and his grip on my hand eased a little. I stared at him, confused as hell. Why would he even tell them that? Was this his way of working up to telling them we were a couple?

“And I accidentally turned off location tracking and never figured out how to turn it back on. And I forgot to check in a bunch of times.”

“We noticed,” his mom said drily.

“Also, I spent a bunch of college money on hotels on our way home?” he said in a rush, and there was that questioning note again.

His mom raised an eyebrow and I braced for impact. Because obviously she was going to blame me for that, right? Obviously. I was the dumb kid with the bad ideas. But she didn’t. She hummed thoughtfully and said, “We agreed college money could be used for emergencies, and given what happened in California, I think getting home safely qualifies.”

At the mention of California, my stomach dropped. I pushed my plate away, unable to take another bite with the way my gut was churning with lingering shame.

Jacob squeezed my hand again, and somehow that single point of contact between us was enough to make me feel better. It was so dumb. Didn’t mean I didn't soak up the touch, though. He turned to face me, and I knew what he was asking. Was I ready to tell his parents about us?

I was not ready.

At the same time, I was as ready as I’d ever be. How could I tell if we should do it or not? But I remembered how good it had felt to tell Jacob the truth. And who was I kidding? I’d spent years pining over Jacob, and now somehow he was mine—or maybe I was his—and if he was willing to tell his folks we were together, I wasn’t going to stop him just because I was scared shitless.

I tilted my chin down in a subtle nod.

“I’m,” he started, then stopped. “We’re. Me and Matt, I mean,” he said. His mouth opened and closed but no sound came out. He looked at me helplessly, his brow creased.

Jesus. I loved Jacob but he was killing me right now.

“We’re together, is what Jacob’s trying to say,” I said before we got trapped in a never-ending Groundhog Day of Jacob starting sentences he couldn’t finish. Either shit or get off the pot, the old guy who lived next door to us at the Seaview Mobile Home Park used to say.

There was silence.

Luke was the first one to break it. “Oooooooooooh!”

He sounded like a middle school kid catching two other kids kissing.

“Luke,” Mr. Mercer said. “Thank you for telling us, boys.”

“Thank you for telling us,” Mrs. Mercer repeated.

That was it?

Jacob and I exchanged a glance.

“Um,” Jacob said. “Are you okay with it?”

His mom blinked at him. “Why wouldn’t we be okay with it?” Her forehead creased. “Are you okay with it?”

“Uh, yeah,” he said, wrinkling his nose. “I’m not liking guys against my will or anything.”

“So what, you’re gay now?” Luke asked, looking between us with interest.

“ Luke ,” his parents said in unison.

“I’m bi,” Jacob said. “I think. And Matt’s gay.”

“Huh.” Luke stuck a spear of asparagus in his mouth. “Cool.”

Luke was sixteen and a lot of the time he said stupid stuff, but he was surprisingly chill when it mattered. I allowed myself a small smile .

“So,” Mr. Mercer said, pointing between Jacob and me. “Is this a new thing or…”

“A new thing,” Jacob said.

“Well, congratulations,” Mr. Mercer said.

“Thanks?” Jacob said.

Mr. Mercer let out a breath and exchanged a look with Mrs. Mercer. “Well, same rules as with Layla, I guess.”

“Exactly. Your bedroom door stays open, Jacob,” Mrs. Mercer said, and what ?

“Aw, come on!” Jacob said. “Seriously?”

“It’s not like either of them can get knocked up!” Luke agreed. “Plus they’re both eighteen!”

“Sleepovers in separate rooms,” Mr. Mercer agreed. “Jacob upstairs and Matt downstairs.”

Have you ever fallen asleep during a film and when you wake up you just know you’ve missed a major plot point because nothing makes sense? That was how I felt right now. And so did Jacob and Luke, obviously.

“Matt,” Mrs. Mercer said, “you’re staying with us in the basement. Bring your bags in after dinner and we’ll get you set up.”

Wait, what? I was staying? As in staying?

“Uh, what?”

And then it hit me. I got up and walked out of the room and into the kitchen. Which was rude as fuck, but I didn’t want to cry like a little kid in front of all the Mercers.

When a hand fell on my shoulder, I knew it wasn’t Jacob’s.

“I called your mother,” Mrs. Mercer said softly.

I nodded and stared out the screen door into the back yard. I didn’t trust myself to say anything.

“You’re living with us now.”

“I’m eighteen,” I said, because I always had to argue about everything with everyone. “You can’t make me do anything.”

“Probably not,” she said. “But Jacob can. Come back and finish your meal. We’re having brownies with ice cream for dessert.”

“That’s my favorite,” I said, my voice rasping .

She squeezed my shoulder. “I know.”

“ Y ou’re such an asshole,” Luke complained as he dumped a set of clean sheets on the pullout couch in the basement. “I was gonna wait until Jacob had moved to college and then petition Mom and Dad to let me have the basement. It was going to be my epic party space!” He glowered at me and then said, “Dad says we’ll get you a real bed next week.”

Turned out that no matter how hard he tried, Luke was no more capable of being an asswipe than his big brother. I snorted, ignoring the comment about the real bed that had my stomach twisting in new but not necessarily bad ways. “For you to have an epic party space, you’d have to have friends.”

Luke flipped me the bird and bounded up the stairs without answering. It was lucky we actually did get on since I was going to be living with him now. I guessed I was about to find out what having a little brother was like after all.

I sat down on the pullout couch as it hit me all over again.

I was going to be living with the Mercers. I wouldn’t be slinking in the door like a stray dog. I’d been rehomed. Also like a stray dog. Part of me wanted to be mad that nobody had asked me, but that was just my stubborn streak talking. Mostly I was relieved.

Mrs. Mercer had sat me down after dinner for a talk and laid out some ground rules. Because of course there were going to be rules. But it was nothing too onerous: keep my room more or less tidy, take care of my own laundry, and not flunk out of community college.

“But you don’t even like me,” I’d said in a small, pathetic voice.

“Yes, Matt. We think you’re awful. It’s why we’re asking you to stay. We’re masochists like that. ”

Turned out Jacob’s mom was as sarcastic as I was. I could work with that.

And when she’d hugged me, it hadn’t been awful. In fact, it had been kind of nice once I got past standing there, as stiff and awkward as the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz , and relaxed. Which was a good thing because I got the feeling she was planning on hugging me a lot . I could work with that too.

Jacob came bouncing down the stairs and sat next to me on the couch. “You okay?”

I nodded. “It’s just a lot, you know? Going from thinking your folks barely tolerated me to living with them.”

Jacob bumped his shoulder against mine. “Matty, I love you, but you’re prickly as fuck. Like, you’re not exactly easy to get to know, you know? But they’ve always liked you fine. They were worried about you more than anything.”

Warmth flooded through me at the way he casually dropped the words I love you .

“I love you too,” I said, because I could. “I’ll miss you when you’re gone.”

Jacob sighed and leaned his head on my shoulder. “I know. It’ll suck. But I’ll come back and visit when I can. And it’s better than you being in San Diego.”

I wanted to cling to the last of my stubbornness and tell him he couldn’t know that, but he was right on both counts. It would suck. And it was better than San Diego.

“I’m gonna send you so many dick pics,” I said, “and you can tell those fancy college boys about your hot boyfriend back home.”

“Dick pics,” he said, grinning. “I could get behind that.”

I didn’t know if I had the guts to send dick pics or not. I guessed that was something for Future Matt to figure out. You know, Future Matt? He was that guy who dated his best friend Jacob and lived with the Mercers and went to community college in Melfa—and didn’t hate it.

I liked the sound of Future Matt a lot.