Page 10 of Road Trip

CHAPTER

TEN

MATT

770 miles to go

Albuquerque, NM

W hat the fuck?

Had Jacob just said what I thought he’d said? As I stood there naked, color bloomed in Jacob’s cheeks but he didn’t look away.

“What?” I asked.

Smooth, Matt.

He drew a shaky breath. “What if I wasn’t? Completely straight, I mean.”

“Yeah, I got that part,” I said, my heart pounding fast. “So what if you weren’t?”

“So…” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “So are you just gonna stand there with your dick out, or are you gonna put some clothes on?”

Right .

Just because he wasn’t straight didn’t mean he wanted to look at my dick.

I picked the towel up. “Like, I feel that when it comes to people in this room being blindsided, my dick is less surprising than what just came out of your mouth.”

“Fair,” he said.

How the fuck did he sound so chill about any of this? That was Jacob all over, though. He liked to think things through. He wasn’t a snappy, reactive shithead like I was. It was probably why he had a bunch of friends and I only had one. And that one was probably a fluke. Also, I might not have him in ten minutes depending on what the hell was going on here and exactly how badly I responded to it.

I needed to calm the fuck down and think before I did anything.

But this was Jacob, and I was pretty sure he wasn’t telling me for the hell of it, so he must feel something, right?

“You could try using your words,” Jacob suggested.

Right.

“Right,” I said. “Because when I came out to you, you said the right things.”

“Did I?”

You always do, asshole.

“It was okay, I guess.” I swallowed. “So, I can do that.”

A corner of his mouth twitched, telling me that we were back in familiar territory where I was fucking up and he was highly amused by that. “Okay then.”

“Okay,” I agreed. “Um. So you’re not straight? Cool. Great. Good for you.”

He tilted his head slightly. “For a second there I thought you might actually pull it off, but even when you say supportive things, because they’re coming from you they sound really sarcastic.”

“I know!”

“But I know you actually did mean them, so thanks.” He wrinkled his nose. “For the record, I don’t know if I’m coming out or just questioning. Can they be the same thing?”

“Like I’m a fucking expert?”

“Fair point.” He let out a long breath. “Anyway, we should find a laundromat. ”

“What?”

He gestured to the pile of clothes on the floor. “I have to do laundry. Do you?”

“No, hold on. We’re not just going from ‘I might not be straight’ to ‘I have to do laundry.’”

“Why not? I’m not sure it counts as coming out if I didn’t even know I was in. I’m still processing it. And I can process and do laundry at the same time.”

“Why now, though?” I asked. It didn’t make sense for Jacob to drop that bombshell without a good reason. That was the sort of shit I pulled, not him.

He ducked his head and the tips of his ears went pink, and he mumbled something that sounded like, “I like you.”

Wait. Back the fuck up.

I stepped closer. “What was that?” My heart pounded in my chest, and I prayed I’d heard right. Otherwise this might break me.

He lifted his gaze and said, “I like you. Like that.”

And maybe this was where I should have borrowed a leaf from Jacob’s book and actually stopped and thought about my actions before taking them, but fuck that. The sun was so close, if only I could fly a little higher, I might be able to touch it.

So I stepped forward and kissed him.

“ D ude,” Jacob said, his breath warm against my mouth. “No wonder you’re single.”

“Oh yeah? Well, you fucking stink .”

He laughed silently, his body shaking, holding me by the hips to stop me from pulling away. “I’m just saying, that was a terrible kiss.”

It might not even have been a kiss, just a kind of a wet smear of our mouths. “Yeah, well, the only other person who’s kissed me is my mom.”

“Ew! You made it weird, dude!” But Jacob was still laughing as he said it. His expression softened. “Was that really your first kiss?”

I shrugged. “This may come as a shock to you, but I’m kind of an asshole. People aren’t lining up to make out with me.”

His mouth twisted like he felt sorry for me or something, and the hand on my hip squeezed me briefly before he pasted a smile on his face and said, “Well, I’m a great kisser. I can teach you.”

“After you shower. You stink,” I said again, jutting my chin out. Maybe I was giving him a chance to back down. Maybe I was giving myself a chance to do the same. I didn’t know what the hell was going on.

“It’s not that bad,” Jacob said, lifting one arm. Then he slammed it back down, his face twisted up. “Okay, yeah, gross. I’m definitely gonna shower. And then I’ll show you how to kiss and make it good.”

“Yeah?” I’d meant for that to come out as a challenge, but instead it came out all breathy and hopeful.

“Yeah,” he said. He leaned in and brushed his lips against mine, soft and slow. It was the barest of kisses, but when he pulled back, he exhaled slowly and licked his lips. His eyes were half-closed, his expression dazed, and I knew then that he had no intention of backing out.

I shoved at his chest. “Go shower.”

He blinked. “Yeah. I should—” He gestured toward the bathroom and ducked inside. The door shut with a soft click, leaving me free to freak the fuck out.

What the hell was going on here? Usually when I started spiraling, it was Jacob who talked me down. But when Jacob was the reason ? Who was I supposed to rely on now? Me ? Because I knew me, and that guy was fucking useless.

I took a deep breath. I didn’t even know why I was freaking out. I mean, this was a dream come true, right? Everything my little gay heart had ever wanted. Jacob was—well, he wasn’t straight—and he was into me. I should be doing cartwheels around the room. Obviously I wasn’t gonna, because no way was I touching the carpet in a two-star motel, but the principle was the same. So why wasn’t I?

Was it because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship? But then hadn’t I already done that when I’d decided to move to California? So why not do this? Why not touch the sun?

The water shut off in the bathroom, and I told myself to get it together. Jacob wanted this. I wanted this. And this was probably the last chance we’d get to explore our feelings. I sat on the edge of the bed with the towel wrapped around my waist and leaned back, doing my best to look relaxed and casual. Oh, you wanna kiss and maybe touch dicks? Sure thing. No big.

The bathroom door eased open.

“Did you put your dirty clothes with mine?” Jacob asked, hitching up his threadbare sleep pants as he stepped back into the room.

That was what he was thinking about in there? The laundry?

“Uh,” I said, because I was smooth like that. To be fair, Jacob was shirtless, his skin still damp, and it kind of made all my brain cells shut down. And I could look. I didn’t have to sneak glances because Jacob knew I liked him that way.

Sure, I might not have said it out loud, but I’d kissed him. And it had been terrible, but he hadn’t pushed me away or anything. He’d done the opposite and offered to show me how to kiss properly.

Jacob Mercer was into me, or at least into whatever the hell was going on with us right now.

“I don’t care about the laundry,” I said, suddenly bold. “Get over here.”

Jacob bit his bottom lip as he sat next to me on the bed, and it hit me that he didn’t care about the laundry either. He was just nervous and trying not to show it. We were each as bad as the other, and somehow knowing that had me breathing more easily.

I reached out and pushed his damp blond hair away from his face. He leaned into the touch, and the heat of his skin against my palm sent a thrill running through me. “So, kissing,” I said.

Jacob nodded and moved closer, our thighs pressing together and our faces barely an inch apart. We must have sat like this a million times playing video games together, but the air around us had never felt so still and heavy. Jacob exhaled and closed the gap between us. His lips were soft against mine and he tasted of mint, and even though we were barely kissing, I was already addicted.

“Okay.” The word left his mouth on a breath and touched mine. “So.”

I blinked at him.

“So we’re gonna get cricks in our necks,” he said, and yeah, I could see that. He stood up and then climbed onto the bed, sitting there cross-legged. The mattress bounced a little as he settled. “Come here.”

“I’m wearing a towel,” I said like an idiot.

Jacob’s brow creased. “So put some pants on or put a pillow in your lap. I’m not gonna look if you don’t want me to.” Did that mean he’d look if I did want him to? “I already saw it anyway.”

That didn’t make things any clearer, and if I was going to spend all my time second-guessing everything Jacob said, we’d never get anywhere. So I squared my shoulders and said, “You can look if you want.”

Jacob’s cheeks flushed pink. “I—yeah.”

Wow. Using your words really did work. Who knew?

I climbed up onto the bed and sat mirroring him, my knees almost touching his. The towel gaped and Jacob’s gaze dropped, but apart from showing some thigh, I was still decent. I didn’t know whether I was relieved by that or not. Like, I’d pretty much dared us to take this further, and I would have gone with it, but also? I hadn’t even figured out kissing yet. I probably wasn’t ready for anything else. So Horny Matt was disappointed but Realistic Matt was relieved. That guy was no fun, but he probably had my back.

It was Realistic Matt who said, “So I really wanna kiss you some more, but is that all we’re doing?”

Jacob’s gaze lingered on the gap in my towel and his throat bobbed. “I, uh. We could start with kissing and see what happens? And we can stop if one of us says so?”

I gave a jerky nod, and then, because Jacob looked about as serious as a heart attack, I said, “Gimme some of that good lip action,” and puckered up like a cartoon character.

For a moment he froze and then, just when I was worried he thought that was seriously my kissing face, he threw back his head and laughed. Then he leaned forward and kissed me again, only this wasn’t a careful, chaste peck. This was packed with intent, his lips soft as they pressed against mine, and holy shit, he was good at this.

I found myself wrapping a hand around the back of his neck to hold him in place. Forever , my stupid brain thought. But since that was impossible, then for now at least. The pressure of his lips against mine was firm but gentle, and when he pushed his tongue against the seam of my mouth, I opened. Bubbles swelled and burst in my bloodstream when our tongues touched, and my skin prickled and felt suddenly two sizes too small. I shivered as Jacob put his hand against my cheek and I leaned into his touch. His thumb stroked my cheekbone, and everything about this moment just felt right, the way that maybe nothing ever really had before in my entire life. My eyes got hot, and I squeezed them shut.

Jacob drew back enough to end the kiss, but his hand was still cupping my cheek and his breath ghosted against my jaw. “Matty?”

I opened my eyes. “Yeah?”

His expression was serious again, both anxious and soft. “Was that okay?”

“Yeah,” I whispered .

The corner of his mouth quirked in what was almost a cocky smile, and then he kissed me again.

The second time? Even better. I didn’t understand how something that could steal my breath could make me feel so alive at the same time.

“This was a better idea than laundry,” I said when we broke for air.

“Fuck the laundry,” he said and leaned in and kissed me, slow and deep. I was aware of Jacob’s bare skin against mine and I ran a hand down his back, greedy for more of him. He shivered under my touch, and when my hand met the waistband of his sleep pants and my palm rested against the small of his back, his breathing hitched.

Yeah, fuck the laundry.

I dropped my free hand to my thigh, pressing down on the edge of the towel to keep it in place because I was getting hard and, despite what we’d said before we started kissing, I didn’t really want to deal with any Whac-A-Mole action right now. Or at least I didn’t want Jacob watching me while I did. And I didn’t want him to think he had to watch me. I dunno. Baby steps or something.

Jacob went still and then he said, “Did you want to stop?”

“No!” I looked down at my lap and so did he. I only had a second to feel totally mortified before I saw that he was hard as well, and his thin sleep pants were doing even less to contain him than my towel was me. “Holy shit.”

He was wide-eyed and red-faced. “Yeah.”

I’d done that.

Screw baby steps.

I’d come into this worried because I didn’t know what I was doing and because Jacob was more experienced, but none of that really mattered. Not when we were both on the exact same page here. And who cared how far he’d gone with girls? We were both virgins when it came to dicks, right? “Do you wanna get naked?”

Jacob was still blushing, but he nodded like a bobblehead and rolled over and shimmied out of his sleep pants in about four seconds.

And wow. There it was. My best friend’s dick. And it was hard . It was also maybe bigger than mine. Not longer, I didn’t think, but bigger around. Of course it was, because Jacob was hotter than me, got better grades than me—not smarter necessarily but, you know, he actually turned his assignments in, which apparently did wonders for your grades—was good at sports, and actually had more than one friend. Of course the universe had completed the package, pun totally intended, by giving him a bigger dick.

“Why are you glaring at me?” he asked.

“I’m not glaring.”

“Dude, you’re glaring at my dick .”

“I’m not!” I lied. “Get back over here.”

“You’re such an asshole,” he said a second before his lips found mine and his hands found the towel that was wrapped around my hips. His fingers slid under the fabric, loosening it, and the towel fell open. “Lie down.”

For a second we made an awkward study of too many knees and elbows, and then the mattress was underneath me and Jacob was lowering himself on top of me.

“Give me your hand,” he said and, shaking, I did. Then I almost pulled it away again when he licked it because, come on, that was such a gross thing to do. What was next? A wet willy? Except then he licked his hand too, and I understood what he was doing.

When he tugged our hands down to our dicks, I almost forgot to breathe.

It was like holding hands in the dirtiest way imaginable. Hot, wet, slippery hands. With dicks, and just when I was getting used to it, Jacob started thrusting, pushing us into a rhythm so we were rocking against each other. I let my head fall back, our fingers entwined, our dicks rubbing together in the hot channel created by our hands. Jacob leaned down and licked my pulse point and then sucked, hard, and that was all it took .

I came so hard I heard colors and saw music. Gasping for breath, I blinked up at the ceiling while Jacob came all over me. Then he kissed my throat again, and I tugged at the damp hair at the nape of his neck just because I wanted to feel him.

I’d touched the sun and I hadn’t crashed and burned.

Instead, for now I was floating, and Jacob was right here with me.

Wouldn’t it be nice if tonight could last forever?