Page 70 of Rising Out of the Darkness (Divine Guardians Duology #1)

Declan

I was thoroughly fucked, and unfortunately not in the good way.

My feet dangled over the side of the cliff as I stared out into the abyss, watching the tides roll into the shore.

Elena was right, I’d been a complete ass.

The way Will’s fingers had curled into her hip during training had been enough to make me unhinged.

These past two weeks had been complete torture for me, and the sight of them together had caused all the frustration within me to finally snap.

Bile rose in my throat as I replayed the events from earlier in my head. I couldn’t believe I’d shoved my brother aside in my fit of fury. Not only that, but I’d grabbed Elena by the arm with far too much force, too much anger. What in Hells was wrong with me?

Gods. If I’d left a damn bruise on her, I’d never be able to forgive myself. Clawing my hands into my hair, I rested my elbows onto my thighs while howling my aggression into the wind.

Liam and Killian had thankfully forgiven me, even though I didn’t deserve it. They’d brought me down here and coaxed the events of the past two weeks out of me. After hearing the shitstorm of events that had come to pass, they’d allowed me some mercy for my unsavory behavior.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t have the same debriefing with my Wildfire as I could with them.

There was still too much that she didn’t know…

that she couldn’t know until the time was right.

How did I even begin to apologize when I was supposed to be ending what was growing between us because of her father?

My mind began to swirl and my chest squeezed against my ribs. With effort, I tried to regulate my breathing before it became anything more. The last thing I needed right now was to have an attack of panic while perched on the side of a very steep cliff. A cliff I was all too familiar with already.

Shaking my head, I refocused on my breathing. That was when I felt the warm heat of a palm on my shoulder and the calming effects of her dynamis running through me. Clara .

“I was wondering how long it was going to take you to come find me, seeing as how you’re usually the one sent to scold me for all the stupid things I get myself into.”

“Uh-huh. You make quite the habit of being a stupid ass sometimes.” She crouched down beside me, tossing her legs over the edge of the cliff.

“So, I take it Lena’s already told you?”

“Mmhmm.”

“And?”

“You’re in big trouble.” She snickered.

I gave her a playful shove, then rested my head back into my hands. “Yeah, I figured as much.”

“Want to tell me what that all was about? I know you know what happened between Will and Elena before she left. What makes you think she would open her heart to him again?”

I sighed deeply into my palms.

“So…that tells me that there’s something much deeper at play here.”

So much deeper.

Running my palm over my face, I tried to collect my thoughts. It was bad enough talking about it with Liam and Killian, now I’d have to relive it all over again with Clara.

“Your silence is not reassuring, Dec.”

Even though a playful smile spread across her face, her eyes told me a different story.

There was worry hidden behind them, and I hated that I was the one who’d put it there.

I despised that they all had to take care of me, pick me up when I broke apart.

Especially when I was the one who was supposed to be protecting them.

“For starters, I had to deal with Drake’s daughter for a whole week,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Father has secured a marriage between the two of us.”

“Oh, Hells.” She winced. “How was good old Adara? How did she take the news?”

“She still has feelings for me, but honestly, I think she knows that I’ll never love her like she wants me to.”

“Well, at least she has more social awareness than her father,” Clara scoffed.

“She doesn’t seem too hurt. She’s resilient and has found affection elsewhere.”

Clara’s face scrunched, like she’d just eaten something sour. “Who would ever want to be wrapped up with her?”

“Will.”

Silence.

More silence.

Then finally a gasp. “Oh, Lena…”

Yeah .

“I know she’s over him, but gods…It’s going to make her feel…” She paused, fumbling her hands together. “It’s going to make her feel used…forgettable. This will hurt her, and that’s the last thing she needs right now, Dec. She’s been carrying some burdens for a long time, and they’re heavy.”

My spine straightened as I gnawed on the inside of my cheek.

Elena and I both shared the same struggle.

I knew she knew the darkness behind my mind, but I kept waiting for her to share what fears made her scream in terror at night.

The worries alone were a heavy burden to shoulder, but now it sounded like that wasn’t all my little Wildfire had been carrying around with her.

My jaw clenched tight. “That’s not the only problem…”

Silence.

“I talked to him, Clara,” I whispered. “I told him everything, except the part about us being mates because he didn’t let me finish.”

“And?”

“He said no,” I grunted. “Not just no, but a ‘never in his existence and even after that’ no.”

“Declan—”

“I mean, he’s right.”

“Dec—”

“I’ll probably only end up hurting her, ruin what she’s meant to be, endanger all of Ehora?—”

“DECLAN!”

“It’s for the best,” I grumbled. “She deserves so much more than me, Clara. Elena deserves someone who will allow her to shine as bright as all the stars in the sky, as bright as the rays of the sun. I’m the Lord of Shadows. I’ll only drag her further into the dark.”

Saying the words that had been spinning in my head for days now tore me wide open. My chest burned and it felt as if my heart was going up in flames.

The last thing I wanted to do was let her go, but I’d sacrifice my only chance for happiness if it meant it gave others a chance for survival. I’d sacrifice anything for her, even if it meant my own heart died in the process.

“You know this is the most ridiculous decision you have ever made, right?” Clara snapped.

“It’s not?—”

“Oh, it’s completely fucked up, Declan!” She tossed her hands up in frustration.

“Clara—”

“Don’t you dare Clara me! I’m so livid right now, you don’t even know.”

“I know.” My words fell between us, just like my hope for happiness.

“No! You know absolutely nothing, Declan!”

Ouch.

“I had to watch you shatter, break and fall apart when you decided that you weren’t enough for this world.

I watched as you gave up, as you tried to sacrifice your own damn existence for the lives of others.

” Tears began to roll down her cheeks. I tried to grab her hand to comfort her, but she slapped it away.

“Now I’m watching you give up the one thing that might bring you happiness.

The one that has already begun to bring you back to life again.

I can’t… I—I refuse let you destroy yourself again. I won’t let you do this.”

“It’s not my choice?—”

“It is.”

“But Warren?—”

“I don’t care.”

“Clara…”

She sighed deeply, her fingers digging into her legs.

“When has the word no ever stopped you, Dec?” Her eyebrows rose, challenging me to deny her words, which I couldn’t.

“You have always fought for what’s right, fought for those you love.

You didn’t give up on us…don’t give up on her. Change. Your. Damn. Mind.”

Two hazel eyes pierced into mine. They were full of a dangerous combination of annoyance and sadness. Without another word, she shifted to her feet and stalked back towards the castle, leaving me alone to fall deep into my spiraling thoughts.