Page 63 of Rising Out of the Darkness (Divine Guardians Duology #1)

Elena

B y the time I made it up to my room I had tucked away my feelings, my mask in place once more. This was not the time or place to fall apart. That would have to wait for later tonight when everyone else was asleep.

Eloise was already in my room when I entered, preparing my gown for tonight’s dinner. I tossed my books on the table and flung myself down onto the bed.

“Are you alright, sweet girl?” she asked.

“Will’s here, and he’ll be staying here until the ball.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

A few days ago, Nayla, Clara, and Eloise had joined me in my room while I was getting ready for another of the king’s events. After a few glasses of wine, I had opened up about Will and what had happened after the Ascension.

As much as I wanted to share the thoughts whirling inside my head, I couldn’t. “No,” I breathed. “I’ll be alright.”

Worry crinkled her delicate features. When I didn’t budge, she motioned for me to change out of my clothes and into the dress for this evening.

Surprisingly, my dress for tonight was normal; a simple navy satin dress with short, draped sleeves that left my shoulders bare. Finishing the last braid in my hair, Eloise pulled me into her arms and squeezed tightly. She didn’t have to say it. I could feel it in her embrace.

The boost of encouragement I desperately needed to make it through tonight.

R elief trickled through my tense muscles when I found the dining hall only partially occupied this evening. The grand table was large enough to fit at least forty or more, but this evening it was only filled halfway.

When I entered, the men at the table rose and dipped their heads. Clara’s smile brightened the room as I caught her wink. Unfortunately, being related to the king put her further up the table.

My pulse quickened as Will pulled out the chair next to him. Seeing no other option, I made my way over and took a seat.

A few more guests arrived, and with a snap of the king’s fingers, dinner was served.

Struggling to eat from the anxiety that tangled my stomach in knots, I sipped on my wine, taking in all the guests.

Alastor was perched next to Edan, both in deep conversation. Next to Lord Drake was a young woman who shared similar features. The sudden awareness that this was his daughter made my stomach flip, while the feeling of jealousy simmered inside me.

Onyx hair curled in perfect waves over her shoulders.

She had a flawless complexion, and a dress in the most vibrant shade of crimson made her amber eyes shimmer.

The only thing that tainted her beauty was the bored expression pursing her rosy lips.

Even while twirling her fork aimlessly around the vegetables on her plate, she maintained perfect posture.

The scrutiny of my stare must have been felt across the table as she stopped playing with her fork and rolled her eyes up to meet mine.

Sorrow rimmed the edges of her eyes, unlike her father’s gaze—Edan’s swirled with a haze of displeasure. Our gaze was broken when her father pulled her into his conversation, and my eyes drifted back to the boy beside me.

Will had been staring at me the entire dinner, but that was as far as our interactions went. There were a few moments where I tensed, thinking he was going to speak. Instead, he shoved a piece of bread in his mouth and concealed his words with the rim of his wine goblet.

When the trays of dessert were finally lifted away, I praised the gods for helping me make it through another painful event.

Alaric excused all of us, calling for Clara to follow him, as he needed his nightly elixir. As she walked by, she mouthed an apology. Rising from my chair, I realized the only person left in the hall was Will.

“Walk with me?” He gestured to the terrace behind us.

The dining hall had a wall full of windows, just like the library. The view was towards the flora-covered courtyard, as opposed to the ocean-side view of the library. Glass doors led out to the terrace and down into the courtyard.

Though I knew I should return to my room, a part of me just wanted closure. With a nod, I walked beside him as we stepped out into the crisp night air.

As we made our way down the smooth steps of the terrace, the crunch of the gravel beneath my feet made me shudder. The memory of what had happened in this very courtyard nearly two weeks ago was still fresh in my mind.

A jacket covered my shoulders. I glanced at Will.

“You looked cold.” Will placed his hands in his pockets.

“Thank you, that was kind.”

“Of course, Lena.”

We continued to walk in silence until we reached the fountain near the end of the courtyard. Perching on the back, we had a perfect view of the city below. Thousands of lanterns glimmered in the city below.

Normally a view like this would make me feel peaceful, but all I felt was the thump of my heart in my throat as I waited for Will to speak.

“Lena, I’m so sorry for everything I said in those cells after Ascension.

Everything happened so quickly, and when I saw that man …

what I had done—” Will’s fingers dug into his thighs.

I placed my hand over his, and the creases in his forehead began to relax.

“Anger took hold of me, and I lashed out to put the blame on anyone but myself. That’s something I’ll never forgive myself for.

” Tears lined his eyes as pulled my hand onto his chest, forcing me to face him.

I ripped it away, wrapping my arms around myself, grounding myself to say the words that sat heavily on my chest. “You hurt me when I needed you the most.” My voice broke.

His head dropped, the ache of shame filling my body as his emotions wafted into me. With a deep breath I shoved out the emotion, stirring a gentle wind. The last thing I needed was to feel more shame.

“Did you mean what you said? When you told me that you always had to save and protect me?”

“Lena—”

“All this time, did you really feel like I was a burden?” A sob broke free, and I wiped away the tears that escaped.

Will’s only response was a heavy sigh, and my sob deepened inside my palms.

Calloused fingers turned my chin back towards him. His hand slid to cup my cheek, thumb tenderly brushing it. “You’ve never been a burden. I’ve always loved taking care of you. If you forgive me, give me another chance, I’d like to care of you and our home for the rest of our days.”

My mouth went dry. This was a moment where most would swoon. Someone offering their protection and care for the rest of their life seemed the ultimate dream. However, it only made me more depressed.

I wished more than anything that others would stop seeing me as someone fragile and weak, but someone strong and powerful.

I was a soldier in my own personal battle. I rose each day and silently battled a war with my own mind. Even when I broke, I dusted myself off and rose once more.

Killian was right, resilience was the greatest strength. If only others in my life would see it that way as well.

“Edan Drake offered to make me a captain in the Ash Guard after the ball, Lena.” He tucked my loose hair behind my head as his smile widened. “I want you to come with me. We would have a place to live, and he told me I could bring my family and anyone else from our town who wanted to come as well.”

The air fled from my lungs.

Why was Edan being so generous, and why would he want to help our small town?

“It’s such a beautiful city, you would love it. So much art, culture, and even a little library down from the home I would be given. My position comes with a hefty wage. We would have a comfortable life, and you would want for nothing. You would never have to suffer in poverty anymore.”

Scowling, I turned my head in disgust. “I don’t need things , Will. We’ve both lived without luxuries all our lives and we were just fine.”

“Were we, Elena?” His tone was gruff, words clipped.

“All I need in my life is to know the people I love most are safe. At the end of the day, that’s all that really matters.”

The tension faded from his face as he brushed his lips across my cheek, dangerously close to my lips. “That’s all I want too, Lena.” His blue eyes bore a hole straight through me. “Let me protect you. Let me keep you safe.”

Pulling away, he stood and extended his hand in front of me. “Just think it over. You have time.”

Wrapping my palm around his, I let him help me up from the fountain edge.

Nothing but the night breeze passed between us as we made our way back to the terrace and inside the castle. Realizing I still had on his dress jacket, I lifted it from my shoulders, but was paused by his palm.

“Keep it, Elena. I have others, and there’s still a chill, even in here.” He gave one more chaste kiss against my cheek and walked in the opposite direction towards his quarters.

Alone, I walked through the dimly lit hallways with only the golden flicker of candlelight and my intrusive thoughts to keep me company.