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“Is it, like, intense Christmas, or just that your family loves the holiday?” he asks.

“Mostly that mom loves it, and we love seeing her happy, so we’ll all wear pajamas that match.”

He looks a little distant before nodding. “That’s nice.”

The urge to lighten the mood again strikes me. “Okay— No, I’ve got a good one,” I say, wiping my fingers on a napkin and pointing at him across the couch. “You have to answer honestly.”

Foxx raises an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching as he sips his drink.

“Relax, it’s not a trap.” I pause, just long enough to make him more curious. “What’s your most embarrassing guilty pleasure?”

He narrows his eyes at me, then leans back, arms folding across his chest. “Okay. Fine.” Looking up, he pretends to think. “I own three Harry Styles vinyls.”

I choke on my soda. “ What? ”

“They’re collector’s editions.”

“You collect them. Do you even have a vinyl player?” I ask, half laughing, half shocked.

“Eugene does, and he’s a fan too.”

“Oh god. I love Harry Styles, too.” I collapse sideways on the couch, grinning into the throw pillow. “I can absolutely imagine you both singing together. Dancing to Harry Styles. You both kill me.”

“He also loves a good musical number.” Foxx laughs.

I let my head fall back, legs still stretched out and tangled just slightly with his. “You know,” I say, smiling like a fool, “I’m starting to think Eugene’s the real love story here.”

Foxx snorts. “Honestly? He probably is. He’s seen me at my lowest. He’s brought me countless meals. He once told me my ex had ‘a punchable energy.’”

I bark out a laugh. “God, I love him already.”

“He’s very invested in my love life,” Foxx says dryly. “Keeps asking when I’m finally going to bring someone home who isn’t just a hookup. Tells me my life is boring.”

I raise an eyebrow, the words dancing on the tip of my tongue.

Am I just a hookup? It’s a futile question despite the cotton that seems to have snuck into my mouth.

We agreed to casual, but the closer I get to him, the less casually my heart beats.

In fact, it usually hosts a parade when he’s around. The fuck is that about?

Foxx doesn’t look at me right away. He’s staring at his bottle, turning it slowly between his fingers.

“He’s not wrong, though,” he says finally.

“I just never saw it as boring. I made it safe after the divorce, and predictable, because I didn’t want anything to surprise me again…

or at least I thought I didn’t.” He lifts his gaze to collide with mine, and there’s something in his eyes that I can’t quite read, but I want to.

I let my shoulder fall into his and stay there, pressed against him, and I do what I do best, I push for more. “And that’s a bad thing?”

He exhales through his nose, then shrugs. “I guess it depends.”

“What changed?”

“I used to be someone who said yes to things,” he says. “Then everything I said yes to fell apart. So I built a life that couldn’t fall apart. Something solid. And apart from Eugene and his damn cat, I stopped letting things in.”

I get it, in a way I didn’t before. He’s lost something and someone who provided him a safe space; he’s been broken before, and for some insane non-logical reason, I hate the idea of him hurting over someone who clearly didn’t deserve him.

I nod slowly. “And now?”

He swallows, jaw working. “Now I don’t know if I’m still keeping the world out…or just allowing myself to stay stuck.” His dark eyes find mine again. “I think you’re probably the biggest risk I’ve taken in a long while.”

I know this. His relentless “this is inappropriate” comments when we started hooking up, but he hasn’t sung that tune in a while, and it’s got me wondering what’s going on in that beautiful mind of his.

Maybe we are technically breaking the rules…

maybe we both think the benefits outweigh the consequences.

I don’t know if I’m ready to ask, though.

As I watch him, I’m suddenly hyper aware of every inch of our bodies touching, and it makes me wonder how anyone could ever walk away from a guy like him. He’s not only gorgeous, but he’s steady. He’s calming in a way that I’ve only ever experienced when I’m out on the water.

“Just so you know,” I say, biting the inside of my lip, “I didn’t swipe right for boring.”

That earns a small smile. I let the silence stretch between us before speaking again. “And for what it’s worth…I don’t think you’re keeping the world out.”

His hand rubs up and down my shin, but he doesn’t look at me. “No?”

I shake my head. “You let me in.”

His eyes flick back to mine, swallowing audibly. The air around us feels like the beginning of a storm, quiet, peaceful, but there’s something in the distance that’s charged, electrons firing off, stirring something real and heavy and one-hundred percent out of our control.

“Letting you in scares the hell outta me,” he says, holding my gaze. I watch the darkness in his eyes, the shadows that linger there from his previous relationship, but it’s not all I see. There’s a glimmer of hope, and that tells me he wants this too. Even if he’s not sure he should.

“I get it… I’m scared too.” Not for the same reasons as him.

I’ve never had anyone mean more to me than sex, but with Foxx, I feel like I dove in with two feet in a way that should scare me, but all he does is help me see things differently.

He brings me perspective that I didn’t have before in the way he lives his life.

He thinks it’s boring, but when all I’ve had for the last several months is pain, and that shit is loud, he’s like a breath of fresh air.

A wave that creeps to your toes at the shoreline.

“It’s not the kind of scared I wanna run from, though. ”

His hand tightens on my leg, thumb dragging back and forth as he releases a slow breath. The way he looks at me makes my heart beat like a hummingbird, fierce and alive.

He’s becoming something constant in my world, and I’m not sure how to tell him that he’s the one I’d maybe like to stand still with.