Page 28

TWENTY-EIGHT

lenni

I should be at home right now. Cam’s taking me somewhere nice for dinner tonight, and a novice like myself needs time to figure out an outfit, hair, and makeup without looking like a child playing dress-up. But the story Sam told me is haunting me like a ghost—I can’t stop thinking about her, this girl I don’t even know—so instead I’m sitting in the newsroom waiting for Darren, who’s knee-deep in conversation with one of the sportswriters.

I wonder if the girl in the photo even knows her picture was taken. Would she want her story to go public? I didn’t. I wanted to die. Not that anyone wrote about it in the local paper, but in my desperate little town, gossip hits a lot harder than some article on page four of The Daily News.

I felt weak, though, not like one of those women who stands up and puts her face on a scandal, knowing her strength might spare other women from future trauma. Maybe this girl in the photo will do what I couldn’t.

And isn’t it my obligation to at least find out if there’s any substance to this story? If nothing else, I have an obligation to expose whatever dickhead football player thought it was okay to humiliate a sleeping girl to boost his shaky grasp on his own masculinity. To expose him and every other guy who looked at that picture and thought nothing of it beyond the sick idea that it’s his right as a man to treat her humiliation as his entertainment because women don’t exist beyond three narrow categories: family, fuckable, and useless.

I unclench my jaw—I have to try twice before the pain eases—and glance up at Darren. He and the other writer are now rambling about some pro football trade and they still haven’t acknowledged me. Bet if I’d worn a push-up bra and a tight top, I would’ve gotten greetings before the door closed behind me.

I stand up. “Darren?” It sounds more like a bark than a question. “Can we talk? At your desk?”

I see him exchange a look with the sportswriter, but he falls into step behind me as I head for his desk in the far corner of the room.

“Everything going okay?” he asks once we’re out of earshot.

“I just wanted to mention a tip I heard.”

He nods. “Shoot.”

Suddenly, my confidence wanes. It’s really just gossip and speculation I’m working with here. But Darren is looking at me expectantly, and I think he might just be impressed by my initiative. “Someone I know was sent a nude photo of a female student that was supposedly taken without her permission. This source says it’s easily traced back to the football team.”

Darren holds up a hand. “Heard that one before. Someone emailed us anonymously with the same tip.”

I feel a sudden sense of loss. I’ve been scooped before I’ve written a single word? “So?” I demand. “Do you have a writer on it yet?”

“This is a tricky one. I don’t know that we’ll ever have a writer on it.”

“Why not? This could be huge.”

“Yeah, with huge legal ramifications, Lenni.”

“You’re not going to touch it because there might be some legal issues involved? That kind of fear is exactly why guys continue to get away with behavior like this while the victims just suffer in silence.”

“All right, Lenni, okay, okay. I never said we’re not touching it, but we’re not diving in headfirst, either. I don’t know about you, but bringing down Shafer’s athletics department isn’t on my list of editorial goals this year.”

I take a breath and remind myself that if I ever hope to make editor, I better avoid insulting Darren’s journalistic integrity. “No, I just think this isn’t the sort of tip that can be ignored.”

“Agreed.”

“So put me on it.”

“Sorry?”

“Put me on the story.”

“There is no story. We don’t have a single fact to go on yet.”

“Right. Let me dig up a few facts and we can go from there.”

Darren smirks. “Oh, no way.”

“Why not?”

“First of all, you’re not an investigative journalist.”

“And second?”

“Ever heard of conflict of interest?”

“What’s that have to do with me?” I ask, knowing exactly what it has to do with me.

“A story about the football team from the girlfriend of a captain? Not gonna fly.”

His words hit me with a mix of thrill and uncertainty. The word “girlfriend” implies a sort of ownership that I’m not sure I’m entitled to, one that’s been heavy on my mind lately.

Darren laughs and I realize I’m blushing. And smiling. “You thought I didn’t know, eh? Football players at Shafer can’t blow their noses without the whole school knowing about it. And,” he adds, standing up straighter, “as sports editor, you better believe I hear everything that goes on in that world.”

Then maybe he can tell me whether Cam and I have a real future together.

“Anyway,” I say pointedly, “this isn’t about Cameron or even the team. It’s individual players’ off-the-field behavior. Even if I don’t write the story, at least let me help gather information.”

“I’ll say it again, it’s not a story yet. If you have a reliable source, send them my way. But don’t go digging around like you’re some PI.” He crosses his arms. “I mean it, if that photo exists, you don’t want any connection to it.”

“I get it.”

I walk back to my desk as it dawns on me that the shortest path from me to the truth about this supposed photo isn’t Sam, it’s Cam.

Can I really ask him if he knows anything about the photo? More importantly, can I really expect the truth? It’s a dangerous question to bring into our relationship when I hardly know where we stand.

Jade drops me at Cam’s house just a few minutes late—with her help, I cut my prep time down to a respectable forty-five minutes—but Cam is already outside when we pull up, just grabbing a charger out of his car by the looks of it.

I thought I knew what handsome was until I see Cam Forrester in a shirt and tie. His hair falls in effortless waves and his crisp white shirt highlights his golden skin and the impressive build of his upper body. He could sell those slim-cut pants for a million dollars, they look that good on him. Even Jade’s jaw falls open. “Damn!” She turns to me. “Get it, girl.”

But when I get out of the car, it’s Cam’s turn to stare. My cheeks flush hot with pleasure and embarrassment. I’m not the girl who gets those kinds of looks, and I don’t know if I love it or hate it.

“You look stunning,” Cam says. “I mean . . . wow.”

I blush harder. “Thanks.” I reach up to kiss him because I’m much better with kisses than compliments.

“Come upstairs, I need to charge my phone for a few minutes before we go.”

We pass Reeve on the stairs, who nods at me. “Hey,” he says. I wait a beat but there’s no nastiness to the greeting, no steely look to accompany it. It’s the first time he’s spoken to me like he doesn’t hate the sight of me with his best friend.

I give him a nod in response.

“How’s the Jadester?” Cam asks when we reach his bedroom.

“Hanging on by a thread. Sam finally called, but he refuses to meet up with her to talk things over.”

“So he’s even smarter than I thought.”

“Why?”

He plugs his phone in and gives me an impish smile. “That’s the danger zone. Meeting up to talk things over always leads to sex, and then she’s emotional and things are even messier than they were before.”

“Sounds like you speak from experience.” I keep my tone light, but the idea of him having that experience with another girl makes me burn.

“Anyway, Jade will pull herself together,” he says, not taking the bait. “Sounds like the relationship ran its course.”

“That’s exactly what you said about you and your ex.”

“Because that’s what happens. It’s natural.”

And this is the guy I chose for my first relationship? “Not always,” I say, wishing I didn’t sound as hopeful as I feel.

He looks up and his face softens. “No, not always.” He walks over and lays a silky kiss on my lips. His fingers find the back of my neck and pull me closer, deepening the kiss. And as much as I want to fall under the intoxicating spell of his touch, I don’t let myself. He feels my resistance and stops to look at me, his hand still warming my skin. “We’re not Sam and Jade,” he says softly.

The moment suddenly feels huge, precipitous. I need to know what he feels—not in kisses and touches, in words. Are we for real, something solid enough to grasp onto every time something threatens to break us apart? Or could this end even faster than it began?

My pulse pounds in my throat. “Then what are we?”

He looks down at me and bites his lip. Is he nervous? “You’re my girl, Lenni. My only girl. And you—” But he breaks away, his face contorting in frustration. “Okay, the reason I planned this night was to have this exact conversation. I just hoped I might have a drink or two in me so I could come off a little smoother.”

I hold on to him until he meets my eyes again. “You don’t have to be smooth.”

He nods and tries again. “I don’t know what to call what we have—what we’ve had since the first time I looked at you—because I’ve never felt anything like it before. But I know I don’t want it to end.” He exhales. “You and me, and that’s it. That’s all I want. I just hope you want it too.”

Everything inside me slackens, relief weakening me. “I do, Cameron. It’s all I want.” I bury my face in his shoulder and try to breathe like a normal person instead of someone who just got the best news of her life. “Just you.” Being alive has never felt this good.

“I guess I ruined the surprise, didn’t I?”

I laugh shakily but hold tighter to him, soaking him in. “Sorry. I’m getting makeup on your white shirt”.

He kisses me. “Screw the shirt.” His hands slide down my body, waking up a million nerve endings that haven’t felt his touch in too long. His cock presses hard against my lower belly.

He skims his hands back up my body, tracing my curves. His eyes follow his fingers with a hazy look of lust. Just like that, I’m buzzing with need.

“What about dinner?” I whisper, though I’m already loosening his tie. I unbutton his shirt slowly, top to bottom, fighting the urge to rip it straight off.

“Screw dinner,” he growls.

The sight of his half-naked torso makes my breath come faster. I have to work to stop my fingers from shaking as I undo his buttons. Finally done, I run my palms up his smooth skin, watching his chest rise and fall.

“Are you sure? You might never get a table again if you’re a no-show.”

His answer is a searing kiss that blots out the rest of the world. Strong arms wrap around my waist and my thighs as he lifts me. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, nipping at me with his teeth. I hear myself moan.

I’m lowered onto the edge of the bed. Cam stands over me, steps out of his pants and boxers and shrugs the shirt off his shoulders. He leans over me and goose bumps race across my skin as the heat of his body spreads through mine. He kisses the sensitive skin on my throat.

“I don’t want to be anywhere but here,” he whispers. “With you.”

His teeth close around my earlobe, sending parallel streaks of electricity shooting through me. My fingers curl into the skin of his back. His hands aren’t gentle when they yank my dress up to my waist or pull my panties down to my knees. The roughness of his touch makes me desperate with desire.

“How do you want it?” he asks, his voice muffled against my skin.

“Any way you want.” I don’t care how I get it as long as I get it.

“No.” He leans back to look at me, but his fingers slide between my legs and move slowly in and out of me, a soft, stroking tease. “Tell me how you want me to fuck you. Tell me exactly what you want.”

I’ve never told a man what I wanted. Maybe I’ve never even known myself, but his words are electric. My imagination ignites. I know what I want. I want to spread my legs for him. I want him to take me fast and hard. And I want to watch it happen. I glance down at the mirror that hangs on the wall opposite the foot of his bed.“I want you to fuck me from behind.”

I don’t know who this girl is, the one who demands sex without a hint of self-consciousness, but apparently Cam likes her. He blinks, his eyelids suddenly heavy, and he reaches down to deliver a single stroke to his rigid cock, like he just can’t resist.

I move and he follows like my shadow. I crawl to the end of the bed and position myself on all fours in front of the mirror. Cam is behind me on his knees. I spread my legs an inch wider for him and I watch his face transform in the mirror as he stares down at my body, his mouth falling half-open. The thrill of power rips through me. I can’t believe I can do that to him.

“Lenni,” he says gruffly, his gaze still heavy on my body.

I give my hips a little wiggle. “Come on,” I tell him in the mirror. “Let’s go.”

He swallows and drags his eyes away to swipe a condom from his bedside table. His gaze meets mine in the reflection as he tears open the package with his teeth. My thighs tremble. He rolls the condom onto his waiting cock and centers himself between my legs.

His eyes blaze as they take in the most intimate parts of my body. With one hand steadied on my lower back, he guides himself to my entrance. His cock parts me and my hips jerk in response, then he withdraws. He licks his lips. The sight makes me ache to touch him, but I wait for him. He shifts his hips so I can just feel the heat of him against my damp skin. Then his strong hands close around my waist and he pushes himself roughly inside me.

The sharp pleasure of it makes me gasp. My head falls back as he pumps inside me, deep, steady thrusts that feel just barely within his control. No one’s playing now. He brushes my hair aside and I arch my back to lift my ass higher for him. Hunger flares in his eyes. “Fuck, baby,” he says breathlessly. “You are so sexy.”

His hands circle over the rounds of my ass, then squeeze my flesh until I’m sure he’ll leave bruises.

“Harder, Cameron,” I command.

His gaze lifts to meet mine in the mirror. It takes all my strength not to squeeze my eyes shut and just let the pleasure take over, but I can’t look away from him. I watch the tremble in his chin as he fucks me and the flex of his strained muscles. My breasts move in time with his thrusts. I reach down to cup one and Cam makes a strangled noise in his throat. He’s mine.

I give myself over to the fury of desire, watching him through half-lidded eyes. In a faraway time, a long-ago Lenni, I’d be embarrassed at the way I’m spread out before him and all the flaws he could find on me. But I can’t be. Under that lustful, animal stare on his face, I can’t feel anything but how much I want this.

I shift back so he’ll take me deeper. His thrusts grow frenzied. His hand slips between my thighs and finds my clit, stroking with unapologetic, single-minded purpose. My muscles are turning to liquid, barely able to support me.

“Cameron,” I hear myself say, begging him for I don’t know what. To make it stop? To make it last forever?

His face crumples, his expression needy. “I’m never going to forget the way you look right now.” His voice is dark and jagged. It cuts all the way to my core.

I close my eyes and let myself fall. I’m on fire from the inside out, completely engulfed, blind with pleasure. I’m vaguely aware of the harsh sounds he makes and the weight of his body on mine as he comes. The steamy image of him behind me, all the power in his body concentrated on me, burns into my brain layer by layer. Nothing will ever top this feeling.

After, I lay there in his bed, blissed out beyond any normal measure of contentedness. I feel like I’m high. His body, his touch, the fact that he belongs to me and no one else; it doesn’t seem real. Surely a girl has to reach godlike status before she deserves something like this. I must have been sainted in a former life.

Coming back to life beside me, Cam turns and plants a kiss on my shoulder. “You make a really good boss.”

I smile instead of being embarrassed. I do make a good boss.

“You want to do something tomorrow after practice? I should be done a little earlier.”

“I forgot to tell you, my editor put me on a last-minute assignment so I have to go watch a dance show on campus tomorrow evening. Sorry. I invited Jade because I assumed you’d hate it.”

“Thank Jade for taking that bullet for me.”

Thinking about the paper gives me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it takes me a few seconds to remember why.

“What’s wrong?” Cam asks, reading the worry on my face.

“Just thinking about something I heard.” I didn’t plan on bringing this up tonight, but after what we’ve said, it feels safe. Or at least safer than it did hours ago. “About athletes passing around naked pictures of girls. Have you heard about that?”

“Hate to tell you this, but guys get nudes from girls all the time. It’s not just athletes.”

“I understand nudes, but what about if the girl didn’t send it out?”

“What, hacking into girls’ phones for their pictures? No way. Not on my team.” He turns to me. “Who told you about it?”

I try to look innocent. “No one. I just heard it mentioned in the newsroom.”

“Ugh,” he grumbles. “Don’t encourage that crap, Lenni. Those kinds of stories do more harm than good. Someone hears a fake rumor about one guy and suddenly the whole football team is a bunch of sexual predators.”

“That’s not what this is.”

“I only mean the full story is always more complicated.” He shakes his head. “Anyway, I guess I won’t see you until Saturday after the game. You coming?”

“What kind of girl misses a football game when her boyfriend is the sexiest man ever to take the field?” Boyfriend. I love saying this word.

“I don’t know, ask the girlfriend of the sexiest man ever to take the field. I’m wondering about you.”

“You know I’m not buying the modesty crap from you.” I turn on my side and slide my hands up his chest. “If I looked like you, I’d never stop looking in the mirror.”

“Why do you think I only date chicks with super shiny hair?”

I groan. “Your jokes could use some work, cutie, but I guess nobody’s perfect.”

Cam looks appreciatively at my breasts. “You sure about that?”

I lay back and sigh happily as he dips his head and runs the tip of his tongue around my nipple. “I’m sure. But you do make a girl want to get a little closer.”

“Don’t,” he says. “You’re already there.”

Just then, my stomach growls with hunger, making Cam chuckle. “Oops. Are we too late for that dinner reservation?”

“Only an hour or two.” He sits up. “I’ll find us something down the street. You just lie in bed and stay naked.”

I prop myself up on a few pillows, watching him get dressed. “Did I tell you my little brother’s coming to the game?”

“That’s this weekend? I forgot. Crazy ’cause Liam’s coming on Saturday too.”

“How sweet. You didn’t tell me that.”

“I wasn’t sure it was going to happen until today.”

An idea forms in my head. “Do we dare get these boys together? I mean it might be total chaos if your brother’s anything like mine, but how cute would they be together?”

“Oh.” His brow creases. “That’d be fun, but I think Liam’s only in for the game and then he heads home. Early bedtime and all that.” He watches me like he’s waiting to see if I’ll accept this.

“That makes sense,” I say because it does. But something nags at me. “Maybe next time.”

“Definitely. Liam would love you. So does your brother like football? Maybe we can meet up on Sunday and throw the ball around.”

“You would do that?”

“Why not? It’s no big deal.”

But for a kid who’s had the life Gus has had, not to mention the lack of male role models, it is a big deal, a huge one. “He’d love that, Cam. Thank you.”

“Happy to do it. Especially if it makes you smile like that.”

He leans down to kiss me, and the heady effect of his lips is immediate; my mind is cloudy with lust. But in the back of my brain, the ugly matter of the photo still lingers.