Page 20 of Ride Me Cowboy (Coyote Creek Ranch #1)

“I’m not worried about me,” I say. “Well, I’m a little worried.” The truth is, with Cole at my side, I feel like I’m safe, no matter what. “But the cows…”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got this.”

At the house, he sees me to the door but doesn’t come in. “Caleb and I’ll take care of it,” he promises.

I nod, wishing I didn’t feel so uncertain.

Inside, Beau and Austin are cooking steak, Mackenzie’s watching TV. I contemplate going straight to my room, but I’m not really in the mood to be alone. I’m too worked up.

“You alright, Manhattan? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Beau drawls.

I shake my head, try to smile. “I’m all good.”

“Want a beer?” Austin offers.

I nod. I haven’t drunk since the night in the bar, but I could sure do with something right now. Austin pulls one from the fridge, cracks the top and hands it to me.

“Where’s Cole?” Mackenzie asks, not taking her eyes off the TV.

“I—,” I don’t know if I’m meant to say anything. He didn’t tell me not to, but would he want them to worry? “He’s gone to sort something out.”

Beau looks at Austin, who drags a hand through his hair. “Must be back.”

“What must be?”

“That damn mountain lion,” Mackenzie says. “Been prowling round the stock for weeks. Got a foal last month, too. Last thing we need.”

My heart lifts at this news. So this is a perfectly normal thing out here in these parts. Great. Cole deals with this stuff all the time. He’ll be fine.

“He’s getting Caleb,” I say, at the same time the sound of a shot rings out through the air. A single, piercing clap that seems to reverberate through time and space. I jump. I can’t help it.

I abhor violence of any kind. I thanked God every day of our marriage that Christopher didn’t have a gun.

It wasn’t his style, anyway. He liked to torment and torture, not put anyone out of their misery.

Beau sees and laughs. “You’re alright in here, Beth.”

“I’m not scared,” I say, but my fingers are trembling. I curve them harder around the beer, hold it tight in front of me, on the bench. “It’s just not what I expected to happen, that’s all.”

“We’ve tried scarin’ it off, damn thing keeps coming back,” Austin says. “We can’t have him taking the herd. Cole got a permit, just in case.”

“You need a permit?”

“Cougars are protected around here,” Austin nods. “But this one’s taken a few calves already. Cole’s been working with the authorities for months, before this. Sometimes, it’s the only solution.”

I think of those big, gentle cows, like sitting ducks for a cougar. “Do you think they killed it?”

Beau and Austin’s eyes meet. “If Cole wanted it dead, it’s dead. He’s the best shot in the county, by a country mile.”

My stomach twists and my heart flips. Pride, surprise, relief.

That sense of being safe. Because it’s not something he goes around saying, or showing off with.

It’s just a part of him, and he doesn’t need it emblazoned on a t-shirt to make himself feel like a big man. That’s true masculinity, right there.

“You joining us for dinner?” Beau asks, nodding toward the pan. I usually eat in my room, but I notice there’s a heap of steak on the grill anyway.

“Are you expecting company?” I ask. “Like twenty more people?”

He grins. “We got big appetites out here, honey.”

“Is there enough?”

“For a tiny thing like you? I’m sure we can rustle something up.”

I laugh despite the million and one feelings I’m trying to cajole into some kind of semblance of order. “Okay, sure,” I say. “Can I do anything to help?”

Behind me, Mackenzie is setting the table. She adds a place for me without complaint, so I gather our little talk earlier has set her mind at ease. For now, at least.

“Nah, why don’t you just sing for your supper?” Beau suggests.

“I’m a terrible singer.”

“Then talk.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Tell us a bit about yourself.”

Austin jumps in. “Or about New York.”

I take the lifeline he offers and see from the quirk of Beau’s lips that he’s intentionally trying to provoke me. To tease me. I just manage to fight the impulse to poke my tongue out at him.

“Well, it’s like a thousand cities inside a city.

Every neighborhood has a different feel.

I’ve lived there my whole life, but I still find myself turning a corner and ending up somewhere new and different.

It’s not only that each neighborhood is different though, it’s that it’s a city in a constant state of flux, of reinvention.

Businesses change hands, buildings are torn down, restaurants that used to be the place to eat suddenly cease to exist, and there’s a laundromat there instead,” I say, with a shake of my head. “It’s fascinating and busy and?—,”

“And you love it,” Beau supplies.

I think about that. I used to love it. I probably will again. I can’t judge anything that I associate with Christopher clearly right now. He has smudged a grimy fingerprint over every aspect of my life.

“It’s an incredible place,” I finish again, as Austin pulls a bottle of red wine from a rack and reads the label.

“Austin’s into wine,” Beau explains with a shrug.

“Are you?” I finish my beer and move the bottle to the bin. Christopher was also into wine. He loved to show off his expensive collection.

Ausin nods. “Spent a summer in France straight out of school. Worked on a vineyard and learned a shit ton about it.”

I smile at the juxtaposition of the experience he’s describing and his way of expression.

“This here’s a Napa Valley Cab Sav. The perfect match with steak.”

“Yeah, you’re the fanciest SEAL around.”

That piques my interest. “You’re in the navy?”

Austin’s eyes flash to Beau’s and the air seems to thicken a little. “I’m on leave right now.”

“I didn’t know.”

Austin shrugs. “Why would you?”

I glance at Beau, wondering why he or Cole didn’t mention it. Then again, why would they have? Austin being military is just something they take for granted.

“How long are you off for?”

He hesitates for the briefest moment, then shrugs again. “Through the end of the year, or so.”

While he’s talking, Beau opens the oven and removes a huge tray of baked potatoes, already cut in half and dolloped with butter, they look fluffy, golden and absolutely delicious. My stomach grumbles and I clasp a hand over it.

Beau grins. “We’ll turn you into a country girl yet, just you wait and see.”

City Girl. Out of nowhere, I hear Cole’s voice, and my insides twist with warmth and…need.

Need every bit as strong as I felt a week ago, when he’d pulled me into his arms and kissed me senseless.

The kind of need that makes my whole mind spin and twist. An ache I don’t know if I can keep fighting—that maybe I don’t want to keep fighting.

Confusion scrapes through me. One minute I’m swearing off Cole, convinced we need to keep a lid on whatever this thing is between us, and the next, I’m ready to creep into his room and beg him to make love to me.

I almost groan, so incensed am I by this.

Mackenzie moves to a record player and presses a button. Soft, mellow country music fills the space. It’s not something I’ve heard before, but I instantly like it. There’s so much heart in the voice, so much nuance in the guitar playing.

“Where should I sit?” I ask.

Mackenzie is moving toward one seat, presumably to gesture to it for me, but Austin places a glass of red wine at a chair to the left of the head of the table.

“Here’s as good a place as any,” he says. “Let me know what you think of the wine.”

Making a mental note to pace myself this time, I sit down and take a sip.

Mackenzie moves to the chair opposite me, pouring herself a soda.

Beau starts placing food down on the table—the potatoes, greens, steak, and a thick gravy.

My stomach grumbles again, but no one notices, because Cole strides in at that moment.

His eyes sweep across the room, and land on me.

My heart bangs into my ribs. My lips part.

His quirk into a smile. Something shifts between us. I look away, cheeks warm, body trembling, then glance back at him quickly.

“So?” Austin asks.

“It’s done.” He winces though, like he regrets it. Like he wishes he didn’t have to kill the thing.

I close my eyes on a wave of sheer relief. I had been afraid, then. Deep down, in a way I couldn’t admit even to myself, I’d been scared out of my mind that something might happen to him. Him. Big, strong, Cole Donovan, who looks like he was born with a pistol in his hand and a Stetson on his head.

“I’ll just wash up,” he says. “Don’t wait for me.”

But by the time everyone’s at the table and plated up their food, Cole’s back anyway, once more in his trademark jeans and button down, sleeves pushed up to just below his elbows now.

He takes the seat at the head, between me and Mackenzie, and underneath the table, when he sits, his knee can’t help but brush mine.

I startle. It might be a simple, innocent touch but it sends a barrage of fireworks through my blood, like wildfire and spark.

My eyes shift to his, but he’s concentrating on the food, piling his plate high, so I just stare at the sheer quantity of what he’s planning to eat.

When I look away, it’s to find Mackenzie watching me with a smirk.

“It’s a lot, huh?”

I quirk a brow. “Not if that’s your only meal for the week, I guess.”

“It’s all that running he’s doing,” Austin volunteers, and I’m pretty sure he’s trying to stifle a smirk.

“I’d like to see you try it,” Cole challenges.

Beau holds his hands up. “Only running I’m doing is on the back of a horse.”

“Or after anything in a skirt,” Mackenzie reminds him.

Everyone lets out a big guffaw at that and I laugh along with them.

Beneath the table, Cole’s knee is still brushing mine, and I’m desperate to look down there, to see if his other knee is bumping Mackenzie’s, if maybe that’s just the way this big, hulking guy sits?

Yet, I know it’s not. I know he wouldn’t.

He’s too good mannered, too respectful. So, this is…what?

An opening gambit? An intentional flirtation?

I’m being driven out of my mind by this, pulled backwards and forward, with no clear clue what I want from him. What I want, in general. I just know that I really like spending time with this rugged Cowboy, even when I wish I didn’t.