Page 8 of Rhaz’s Redemption (Shifters of Valo Prime #6)

Beatrice

I walked out of Rhaz’s cave expecting to feel anger or rage or even disillusionment, but I didn’t feel any of that.

An uneasy peace settled over me. Rhaz had made his decision.

He wanted to live in the reality where he was a monster even though I knew he wasn’t.

He carried an intensity within himself that could easily manifest as aggression or violence and yet he’d never raised a hand or even his voice to anyone here.

What was done was done. He’d made a choice and I would not waste my time or dignity trying to convince him otherwise. I deserved to be loved by someone who was willing to put their fears aside, and at this moment in time, that person wasn’t Rhaz.

I walked to the ledge that opened up to the outside of the mountain that many of us had dubbed as lover’s lane and I sat and watched the sunset over the trees.

In a few hours all the normal emotions that were required for a moment like this would come crashing down on me.

I would mourn the loss of the future Rhaz and I would never have.

I would be angry at him for not loving me back when I could see the affection he has for me in his eyes, but for now, I would sit and feel nothing.

I would release this pain, this unspent love back into the universe from whence it came and pray that it would find its way back to me someday.

This hadn’t been my plan but I could accept it. I could move on.

The next morning I woke up with tear stained cheeks, a heavy heart, but a refreshed spirit.

I didn’t know why losing a love I never really had hurt so much, but I had to admit Rhaz had a different charm to him then the rest of the guys here.

His place in my heart had been more cemented than I’d even realized.

“Are you ready for our trip?” Fatima sat up on her bed which was next to mine with a bright smile. She told me, that her life on earth had been filled with travel, and she longed to see more of our new home world, but she was waiting for luminescence so she could experience it with her mate.

“Mostly, yeah.”

I’d packed some supplies in my bag last night but stopped when that wave of emotions finally hit me.

“Hey, are you alright?” She turned to me with concern in her eyes. I’d never been particularly talented at hiding my feelings. I might be a quiet person, but my facial expressions have always been very loud.

“I’ve been better,” I admitted truthfully.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” She got up and put an arm around my shoulder as she sat next to me on my furs.

“I, uh, I had a conversation with Rhaz yesterday. It didn’t go well,” I admitted.

“That mother fucker. Did he say something rude to you?” She balled up her fist and scowled at the door leading to the main cavern.

“No, he wasn’t rude, he was just honest. He told me we’d never be mates even though luminescence had chosen us for each other.”

“He what?! But that doesn’t make any sense!” Fatima questioned.

“He has his reasons,” I offered.

Fatima opened her mouth but I cut her off to say, “reasons I do not wish to discuss right now.”

She closed her mouth again and sighed.

“I’m so sorry. I can’t believe he would reject luminescence.”

He rejected me . I wanted to correct her but I knew there was no point. Luminescence and love had become so intertwined in her mind that I doubted she would see the difference.

“Come on. Let’s get some breakfast,” she encouraged. “I’ll ask if they can make you some pancakes even if it’s not on the menu today.”

She knew pancakes were my favorite and it was a nice reminder that I was loved. I had friends here and people who cherished my company. I didn’t need Rhaz, and I certainly wouldn’t beg for his affection. Despite the ache in my heart, I felt more resolute in my decision than ever.

After breakfast we headed out on the trail to the kala which would eventually lead to Axon’s cave. If we made good time we’d get to see the ruins before nightfall.

“Ah-boo!” Tarak played peek-a-boo with Tabby as Gabby carried her in a sling on her back. The chubby-cheeked baby smiled at her father and cooed happily.

Ahead of them were Kayla, Drovo, Julie, and Orsu. Kayla and Julie road in the chariot Drovo had made and he and Orsu walked beside Jelly, Kayla’s bison pet as the animal pulled the chariot.

Brexl and Taylor walked behind us. Brexl was sticking to Taylor like glue and constantly watched the forest for any wild beasts. I heard him offer to carry her twice to which she refused.

“Really I’m fine. I will let you know if I get tired,” she sighed and smiled up at her mate.

“I just worry,” he whispered and patted her tiny baby bump. “I know, but walking can be good, and me and the baby are fine, I promise.”

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. A sheepish smile broke out across his face and he looked content.

Axon held Ashley’s hand and kissed her on the cheek when he thought no one was looking. She blushed and whispered in his ear and then he would kiss her again.

Lumond made Hai laugh as he walked half shifted giving himself the appearance of a half fish-half man. Fins stuck out of his sides, and his hands had become fully webbed, but when Hai pointed out his appearance he pretended to be shocked as if he had no idea.

Sarah blushed as Jax offered her a pretty leaf from the trail and Sozu hung on every word Talia spoke.

Rhaz brought up the rear and every time my eyes wandered to where he was I found him looking at me. I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes. The longing expression he wore on his face brought me nothing but pain. What was the point of wanting me if he would not allow himself to see it through?

We spent the afternoon walking the wide trail to the kala then veered right instead of going inside the walled structure. It was still early afternoon when we finally arrived at Axon’s moon cave, and it had turned out to be far more luxurious than I had anticipated.

“Oh. My. God.” Talia’s jaw hung open as she took in the sight of the bougiest cave any of us had ever seen.

The entire space was covered in a soft moss from floor to ceiling, which served to not only make it soft to walk on, but the sounds that would usually echo around the cave were muffled too.

Cute glowing bugs crawled along the ceiling producing a soft light that was easy on the eyes. A tiny spring of fresh water flowed down the wall in the far corner of the cave acting as Axon’s own personal drinking fountain.

“Do you think you could line our cave with moss like this?” Julie asked Orsu with wide eyes as she made a show of patting her swollen belly. I don’t know why. He would do anything for her, pregnant or not.

“Of course. Whatever you desire my kira-si,” the big bear shifter looked down at his mate with a smile. Then he looked over at Axon with an expression that said he’d be cornering the spider shifter later to ask him exactly how the hell he did all this.

“I love the glow worms on the ceiling!” Sarah pointed out. “They’re like cute little stars.”

Jax looked up at the ceiling for a long moment then approached one of the cave walls. When he thought no one was looking he reached up plucked a glow worm from a low part of the ceiling and put it in his pocket.

I did my best not to laugh. These guys were going to be doing more redecorating when we got back to the mountain than anyone on one of those home decorating shows.

Ashley called the other women over to one of the tunnels that extended from the main cavern. “If anyone needs to use the bathroom, follow me.”

All but two of the women left with Ashley. I was having too much fun watching the guys stress over how they were going to recreate this kind of luxury at home.

As soon as all the mated women had left the cavern the guys circled Axon like hungry vultures.

“Where did you get all this moss from?” Orsu asked.

“Was the water already streaming through here when you first found this cave, or did you reroute it somehow?” Lumod added.

“Exactly how many furs do you have stacked up on that bed?” Brexl questioned.

Axon opened his mouth to speak when Jax tapped him on his shoulder to get his attention. Once Axon was looking his way, Jax pulled the glow worm out of his pocket and pointed to it.

“I’ll show you were I got the glow worms tonight,” Axon sighed. “I’ll answer everyone’s questions one at a time.” The poor male looked exhausted and the questions had only just begun.

“You know if you guys had put any effort into making your own caves a little more comfortable, you would have discovered this stuff already,” Axon huffed.

“My cave is comfortable,” Lumod pouted. “Just not this comfortable.” The merman shifter gestured widely to the room around us.

“Right,” Axon sighed. “Come with me, I’ll start by showing you where you can find more moss, but everything else will have to wait until tomorrow. We’re running out of day light to visit the ruins.

So as the women went to the bathroom and the males left to investigate where Axon found all of this moss, I sat in the main cavern nearly alone. Rhaz stood at the entrance keeping his eyes on the forest for any predators.

Anger burned in my gut that he’d decided to stay. Of course he did. He didn’t have a mate to impress. Why would he need to learn how to make the floor of his cave more comfortable?

I got up from where I’d been sitting and clenched my jaw as I approached him. I wasn’t usually one to speak out of anger, but seeing as we had a limited opportunity to converse before the other’s returned, I decided to take my one shot.

“Not going with the others?” I questioned to get his attention.

He turned to face me. There was a light in his eyes when our gazes met as if I gave him life. But that light was quickly extinguished and he looked away.

“Why would you?” I continued. “You have no mate to impress right? No reason to make your cave any more comfortable than it already is.”

I turned to walk away when Rhaz spoke. “Beatrice wait.”