Page 12 of Rhaz’s Redemption (Shifters of Valo Prime #6)

Beatrice

My heart squeezed for the Sirret’s that surrounded me.

Tarak looked so dismayed by the video he’d seen, and a myriad of emotions played on the faces of the elders and hunters gathered on the ship.

Some looked away with tears in their eyes, some furrowed their brows in confusion, and some pursed their lips in anger.

I searched for Rhaz’s face, but I didn’t find it.

I heard someone walking out shortly after the video and since he wasn’t here I had to assume it was him.

“The lies should have ended generations ago,” Neelu said between gritted teeth. “Our parents and grandparents lived and died without knowing the truth of where they come from.”

“And we’ve lived our lives believing the goddess had cursed us, a goddess that probably doesn’t even exist,” Brexl commented in a somber tone.

Taylor squeezed his hand and whispered comforting words in his ear.

He turned and hugged his mate and she rubbed his back as he processed this new information.

“Exactly,” Axon huffed. “This is why we shouldn’t give our food in the offering. We need it now more than ever.”

“But what if the goddess does exist?” Lumod argued. “I, for one, don’t want to risk her wrath again.”

“What wrath?” Axon replied. “What did you do as a sietling that warranted such hatred from the heavens above?”

“Alright then, maybe some of us would like to make sure we lumines before we grow gray and old,” Lumod retorted.

“What does some fake goddess have to do with your luminescence?” Axon’s tone had grown bitter.

He was getting more and more irritated that his brother shifter wasn’t seeing things as he did.

But that was the trouble with religion and invisible gods and goddesses.

No one could prove that their good fortune wasn’t due to the favor of the gods above, and no one wanted to risk their downfall by not paying homage to a god who might have control over their fate.

“That’s easy for you to say. You’ve already glowed for your mate,” Lumod growled. I’d never seen the easy-going shifter angry before. It was unsettling to see his features contort from a soft merman to a hardened siren with a mouth filled with sharp teeth.

Hai looked between them both and an expression of hurt and confusion crossed their face.

“Enough!” Tarak demanded before their argument could descend into blows. “This is a lot to take in for everyone, and nothing is going to be resolved through fighting amongst ourselves.”

Footsteps sounded from down the hallway and everyone grew silent. Rhaz stepped into view and my traitorous heart skipped a beat when his eyes met mine.

“I’ll leave now to speak to my sire about the offering,” he announced. “I do not know if I’ll be successful, but if I am, this question of the goddess being real or not will become irrelevant.”

He gave a pointed look to both Lumod and Axon. Lumod uncrossed his arms and Axon took a few calming breaths.

“Be careful. You know better than anyone how dangerous Dameron can be,” Tarak warned.

“That I do,” Rhaz sighed. Then he turned to leave again, but before he did, he glanced over his shoulder one final time and let his gaze linger on me.

“Do not send anyone after me if I don’t return. If you don’t see me again, assume I have failed and prepare to either give an offering or a fight.”

His words sent a chill down my spine. Don’t send anyone after me . Rhaz had been so quick to discard his own life as if he were actively seeking death and would not be stopped until he found it. It was unsettling.

“I’ll decide whether someone checks on you or not,” Tarak called out after him, but Rhaz was already gone. I walked to the exit of the ship and watched as the large badger shifter disappeared into the forest.

“Good luck,” I whispered. I wanted him to be successful so we could keep our food storage full, or at least that’s what I told myself, but I knew deep down I just wanted to see him come back alive.

Dameron wasn’t one to be messed with. The more I heard about the other Savrix, the more I understood why Rhaz was so afraid of becoming like him, his father.

Unfortunately, that didn’t change anything between us.

I could not fight this battle for him. He would have to decide for himself what reality he wanted to live in, the one in which he is his own person, making his own decisions, or the one in which he believed he was destined to repeat the mistakes of the male he hated the most.

I would not convince him either way. Some journeys, no matter how hard they become, are meant to be walked alone.

“He’ll be back,” Nahrul stood behind me and patted my shoulder. Then Jax came around my side and mimed being stabbed in the heart, dying, then coming back to life again.

“He’s impossible to kill?” I laughed. Jax was the optimist of our community. The young hunter nodded his head with a smile.

“I hope you’re right,” I commented as I turned my attention back to the treeline where Rhaz had disappeared. “Please be right.”

We returned to Axon’s moon cave once more where everyone settled in for the night. I sat with Anusha and Fatima as we ate the vegetable soup Orsu had prepared.

“This has been so nice,” Fatima sighed as she glanced toward the exit of the cave. “Did I ever tell you that I used to travel for work?”

“No,” I shook my head and took another bite of soup.

“Yeah, before I got abducted, I had been hired by a private art collector to curate a museum they were building. For six months I traveled all over the world inspecting artifacts that she was interested in.”

“Fancy,” Anusha commented. “That beats working in a lab all day.”

“I thought you liked your graduate program,” I retorted.

“I did, but school is school and my advisor had an unwritten expectation that we had to work in the lab for seventy hours a week.”

“Seventy hours?” Fatima grimaced. “That’s awful.”

The three of us were sitting next to one of the three tunnel entrances that led out from the main cavern, and our group suddenly grew silent as we heard the echo of Neelu and Drondia’s conversation.

They must have gone into one of the tunnels to have a private chat without realizing anyone sitting at the entrance could hear every word they said.

“It’s such a shame his mate died so young,” Neelu began. “I heard they didn’t even get a chance to fulfill luminescence before she died.”

“Yeah,” Drondia sighed. “Do you see how he looks at the other couples? You can see in his eyes that he longs for what they have.”

“Who are they talking about?” Fatima whispered.

Anusha and I shrugged our shoulders and I looked out to the crowd gathered in the cave with us.

It didn’t take me long to catch Zander looking in my direction, but his gaze wasn’t locked on me, it was focused on Fatima.

He quickly looked away and turned his attention back to Tarak and Gabby with whom he was sitting.

“Maybe Zander?” I whispered as low as I could. “I can’t think of anyone else who had a mate that died.”

The other women nodded their heads and we remained quiet so we could eavesdrop on the rest of their conversation.

“Do you think he’d be willing to risk a relationship with one of the unmated women here?” Drondia asked her friend.

“I don’t know,” Neelu replied with apprehension in her voice. “It would be a big risk. He can’t lumines for anyone else. If he were to woo one of the unmated females, she might glow for another, and then where would he be? Lost and alone all over again.”

“It’s a tough spot to be in,” Drondia agreed. “I don’t know that I could risk that kind of heartbreak.”

The elder women moved onto another topic and I looked over the women I was with. Fatima was now watching Zander with a mix of longing and sadness in her eyes.

“He’s handsome, don’t you think,” Anusha elbowed Fatima gently in the side.

Fatima straightened and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what I think. I’m waiting for luminescence to choose for me. I want a mate who is biologically wired to take care of me.”

“Why?” Anusha asked, confused. I’d had this conversation with Fatima countless times, but this was the first time Anusha had heard it.

“It’s just easier that way,” she sighed.

“Easier how?” Anush asked.

“I don’t know. It’s just that I’ve spent so much time taking care of everyone else in my life.

I want someone to take care of me, but I also struggle with letting go of that control to actually allow anyone to do anything for me.

It doesn’t help that in the few serious relationships I’ve had, when given the chance to step up, the guys I’ve been with have always disappointed me. ”

“And you think luminescence is going to fix that?” Anusha asked.

Fatima cast her an annoyed look and turned the conversation on her. “What’s stopping you from flirting with him? You said he’s attractive. Why don’t you go over there and introduce yourself?”

“Eh,” Anusha shrugged her shoulders, unbothered by Fatima’s words. “He’s not my type.”

“What is your type?” I asked. Anusha hadn’t really spoken much about what she’d want in a mate.

“I want someone who will make me feel safe,” she confessed.

“Safe?” Fatima questioned. “Any of these guys could keep you safe from the beasts in the forest.”

“No, not like that,” Anusha shook her head. “Safe…safe to be myself. Safe to unmask a little, you know?”

“I understand what you mean,” Fatima commented. “I never really feel like I can let go and be myself in relationships either, and I’m so tired of being disappointed when I do.”

“Yeah,” Anusha let out a sad sigh, and I turned my attention back to the cave entrance wondering about what could have been.

Rhaz and I didn’t exactly have a friendship, but of the few times we’d spent time together he was easy to be around.

I didn’t feel the need to hide any part of myself when I was with him.

I’d never really know what a relationship with him would be like, but when I tried to imagine myself with anyone else, it just felt wrong.

I pushed those thoughts aside. I was young yet, and romantic love isn’t everything. Even so, I couldn’t help but wish for Rhaz’s safe return. No matter what we were or would be in the future, I’d always want him to be safe.