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thirty-eight

Rory

“There’s my favorite little dinosaur!” I say, stepping into Lane’s penthouse as Sage stalks her way to me in her newest dinosaur outfit.

“Wory!”

“Ah, Sage’s favorite nanny,” Lane says, walking into view.

I lift Sage off the ground, wrapping her in my arms as she nuzzles into my chest. “I’m her only nanny.”

“Even if we had a dozen nannies, you’d still be our favorite.”

I bring my hand to my chest, resting it over my heart. “Goodness, you do know how to be nice to me.”

He points at me. “Better not get used to it, Fisher,” he laughs.

I set Sage on the ground, bending down to her level. “Why don’t you go play for a bit, Lovebug? I’m going to help Daddy set up for your birthday party!”

Sage toddles off to the living room, grabbing a stuffed T-rex and roaring around.

Once she’s preoccupied, Lane leans back against the wall, letting out a breath. “God, I can’t believe she’s two. Where the hell did the time go?”

“They do say the days are long, and the years are short,” I say, walking over and standing beside him.

“It’s true,” he replies, shaking his head before running a hand through his hair. “But Sage seems to be happy. I think.”

I rest my hand on his arm to reassure him. “She’s thriving, Lane.”

“I hope so. This parenting shit is hard, and I can’t help but feel like I’m failing her.”

“What would possibly make you think that?”

“I’m always busy, especially during the season. She loves having you watch her, but I feel like I’m not involved enough sometimes. I’m single—she doesn’t have a mom. She’s at the mercy of me flying by the seat of my pants, and I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.”

I look at him in concern. “Are you okay, Lane?”

“I don’t know,” he breathes, closing his eyes to regain his composure. “I think it’s all just hitting me at once, you know? I’ve been doing this solo for two years now.”

“And you dote on your daughter. She’s playful and smart and so loving. Those are things you taught her. I know I’m not a parent myself, but I have a background in childcare. It’s normal to feel that way. Most parents do at one point or another. But don’t ever doubt how great of a father you are to her. You gave up the bachelor lifestyle and immediately got everything you could ever need for a newborn. You know more than you think.”

A small smile crosses his face as my words sink in. “Thanks, Rory. I’m sorry to just unload all of that on you.”

“You have no need to apologize. Parenting is stressful, especially when you don’t have your family.”

“Yeah,” he says sullenly. “God, I miss them.”

“I know you do. But you still have a family. You and Sage do. Family doesn’t have to be blood.”

“God, this is too emotional.” Lane lets out a breathy laugh. “Can we change the subject?”

“You started that, dude.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he says dismissively. “I’ve been thinking about signing Sage up for ballet lessons.”

“Oh, that would be fun!” I exclaim. “I’m sure she’d love that.”

“Would you be okay with that? You’d probably have to help a lot with that during the season.”

“Of course, I’m okay with it. I think that would be good for her. It would be a fun way to help her get all of her energy out.”

“That’s what I’m hoping for,” he says. “How’s Cole?”

I bite my lip to suppress my smile. “He’s good.”

Lane looks at me and grins. “I’ve never seen you this fucking happy, Rory.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy,” I admit. “Cole is amazing.”

“He seems really happy, too. Like really fucking happy.”

“I like to think he is. I hope I make him as happy as he makes me.”

He has a soft smile on his face as he says, “I know you do. You two are good together. Do you really think it’s a good idea to keep it from your dad, though?”

I just sigh. “I don’t think we have a choice right now. I’m not completely naive—I know he’s going to find out eventually. I’m just hoping I can get him used to the idea of me dating one of his players before that happens.”

“I get your reasoning, and I’m not trying to change your mind. But I think the longer you keep this secret, the worse it’s going to be when he finds out.”

Fuck.

I know he’s right.

And I honestly hate keeping my relationship hidden from my dad.

But being with me is a huge risk to Cole, and I’m going to do my damndest to protect him.

Sage has been having so much fun at her party. Sure, she’s the only kid, but that just means she has every adult doting on her right now.

Especially my dad.

I’m pretty sure he looks at Sage as a surrogate granddaughter.

He really does need some grandkids, though I’m certainly not ready for kids yet.

But I picture it anyway.

And in my fantasies, my kids have a medium complexion and curly hair. Some with blue eyes, some with brown.

Because in my fantasies, Cole is their father.

God, it’s way too soon to be picturing that, isn’t it?

I sneak away from the party for a moment, stepping into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

I down half of it in one drink before I take a breath and lean back against the counter with my eyes closed.

I stand there for a few minutes, just breathing and willing my ovaries to keep themselves in check.

The silence doesn’t last forever, though.

“You okay, Starlight?” I hear my boyfriend ask as he walks over to me.

“Starlight?!” a female voice cuts in. Sounds like both of the Pierce siblings have joined me. I open my eyes and find Harlow looking at me excitedly. “He calls you Starlight?!”

I smile softly. “Yes, he does.”

“That is so fucking cute!”

“I should’ve known you’d act like that when you heard it,” Cole says, shaking his head. He peers around the kitchen to make sure it’s just the three of us before he wraps an arm around me and kisses my forehead. “You look incredible today, baby.”

I just stare at him. “I’m in leggings and a sweater. This outfit doesn’t exactly scream ‘I’m trying.’”

He brushes his lips over my temple and speaks lowly. “Because you don’t have to try. You look good in anything.” His voice turns huskier. “And nothing.”

Harlow pretends to gag. “That’s gross.”

I smirk at her. “No different than anything you do with his best friend.”

An unmistakable blush flushes across her face.

Cole chooses to ignore her griping, instead pulling me closer to him. “I’ve missed you.”

“You saw me yesterday,” I laugh.

“That’s too long, Rory girl. Come over tonight?”

Heat creeps across my face as I sink my teeth into my bottom lip. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Cole’s smile is wide, reaching his eyes. Those deep blue eyes I’m so enamored with. Navy pools with splashes of gray. The most beautiful shade I’ve ever seen.

He places his finger under my chin, tilting my face up as he kisses me softly. “I’m going to head back out to the party so we don’t create suspicion.” He kisses me one more time. “Can’t wait to see you tonight.”

I watch as Cole walks out of the kitchen, a smile etched on my face.

I must keep my gaze in that direction longer than I realize as I’m only brought back to reality as Harlow squeals next to me. “You’re in love with my brother!”

I snap my head quickly to face her. “What? We’ve only been together for a month.”

“So? You’ve both liked each other for years. It’s not like you just met.”

I absentmindedly fidget with the hem of my shirt. “I’m not in love with him, Lo.”

“You are,” she says assuredly, grinning widely. “You just don’t realize it yet.”

“I… care about him. A lot.”

Harlow cocks her eyebrow with a smug look on her face. “You know what normal people call that, right?”

“I… I don’t know,” I sigh. “I’ve never been in love.”

She places her hand on my arm and squeezes lightly. “Which is why you don’t recognize the feeling for what it is. You might think it’s too soon to feel that way, but love is love. Sometimes you just know.”

I care about Cole.

I care about him more than I’ve ever cared about anyone.

But could I love him?

I could. One day.

But not today.

Right?

He’s so easy to fall for. This may have started with us sleeping together “just once,” but it never felt like it was just sex to us.

Cole is absolutely the sweetest man I’ve known.

We click in the bedroom, there’s no doubt about that, but we click as partners, too. I stay with him often, and a lot of that time will be spent with me in his arms, just holding me contentedly as we talk about anything and everything. The connection between us grows deeper every day.

I’ve never felt so comfortable.

I do know I love the way he makes me feel.

I love the way he makes me laugh.

I love the way he says the sweetest things to me.

I love the way that on the days I don’t stay with him, he still calls me, making sure to tell me good night before I fall asleep.

I love those things, and they’re all part of him.

Maybe Harlow’s right. Maybe I could be in love with Cole.

And that thought puts the brightest smile on my face.