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twenty-five

Cole

I’m a masochist.

It seems I’m torturing myself for fun now.

Rory made it clear after we slept together that nothing more could happen. Not what I fucking want at all, but I do respect her decision.

I respect it so much that I offered to finger her two days ago under the guise of helping her relieve her cramps.

It’s not that I didn’t want to help her; I did. That’s why I looked up the list in the first place. I didn’t expect to see orgasms on it, but once I did, I think I would have done just about anything to make that happen.

I’m so far fucking gone for my Field Manager’s daughter that it’s bordering on unhealthy.

So I do what I always do when my mind is reeling—I talk to the one friend who I know can give me some outside perspective on my messy situation.

“Why are you calling me so early?” Ari asks as he answers the phone.

“It’s 10pm for you.”

“Yeah, but that makes it, what, 8am for you? That’s early.”

“I’ve been up for like two hours, man,” I laugh. “How’s Seoul?”

“It’s great. Good to see my mom.” I can hear his smile through the phone.

“When are you coming back? You said you were only staying for two weeks.”

“I extended my stay.” Of course, he did. He always does. “This week is my last week here. What have you been up to?”

I haven’t talked to Ari since he gave me the advice to just go for it. Before that, it was before he left for Korea. He doesn’t actually know anything I’ve done recently, and he doesn’t know who the girl he’s been giving me advice about is, either.

“Got back from Garro’s bachelor party last week. That was a good time. Other than that, I’ve just been enjoying the offseason. Seeing my friends. Having fun and relaxing.”

“Do anything interesting?” he asks.

“I went to the planetarium with Rory a few weeks ago. That was actually pretty fun.”

It was more than fun, honestly.

It was the day I realized how tired I was of fighting the feelings between us.

The day that I realized I couldn’t be just friends anymore.

“Rory is Paul Fisher’s daughter, isn’t she?” Ari’s voice is muffled, like he’s speaking around the food in his mouth. Knowing him, he probably is.

“Yeah,” I answer, pushing down the tremble in my voice as I think about her. “One of my closest friends, too, actually.”

“That’s pretty cool. Paul’s always seemed like a good guy.”

Yeah, but he’s a good guy who might actually crucify me if he ever finds out I’ve been inside his daughter.

“Yeah, he sure is,” I manage to mumble.

Ari’s voice turns more devious now. “How’s the love life going? You take my advice?”

“Did I take your advice to fuck her, you mean?”

“I also said kiss her,” he laughs. “But with your mind going straight to fucking, I’m going to guess that happened, too.”

“Goddammit,” I groan, annoyed with how easily he figured that out. “Yes, I slept with her. Kissed her, too. But she left right after we finished. Told me it was one night to get it out of our systems.”

“Damn, that’s cold. She fucks you and just leaves?”

“Yeah,” I sigh, scratching my jaw. “But she did let me take care of her again the other night.”

Ari’s laugh is deafening. “‘Get it out of our systems’ my fucking ass.”

I let out a breath. “I never said she was out of my system. She sure as fuck isn’t, and I’m not sure she ever will be.”

“Because she’s your Starlight,” he says reassuringly, remembering the nickname I told him before.

“Right.”

The other end of the call is now suspiciously quiet.

“Starlight,” he finally says. “She’s your Starlight.”

“We’ve established that.”

“And you went to the planetarium, which is full of stars.” My stomach drops, realizing how quickly he put it together. Ari is laughing as he says, “Oh my God, you fucked your Field Manager’s daughter, didn’t you?”

“I just had to mention the planetarium, didn’t I?” I reply, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“So this mystery girl you’ve been telling me about is Rory Fisher?”

I sigh. “Yes, it’s Rory. And Skip has made it clear we’re all to stay away from his daughter.”

“Sounds like staying away didn’t work for you,” he snickers.

“No fucking shit,” I chide. “I was good for three and a half years. But this past month, I’ve lost my goddamn mind around her. She said it was only a night, but I know she wants more.”

I can hear Ari take a deep breath. “So go for it. You’ve never talked about a woman the way you talk about Rory. I’ve known you for years, and you only ever hooked up with women. At least while we were in Triple-A and Kansas. Rory has to be different for you to feel like this.”

“She is,” I say softly. “She’s fucking perfect for me. I’ve never fallen in love, but if I ever do, it’s going to be with Rory Fisher. I know it.”

“Tell her.”

“Tell her that I think I could fall in love with her?” I scoff. “Yeah, I’m sure that won’t scare her off.”

“No, fucker. Tell her how you feel. Tell her you want more. See if this will actually go somewhere.”

“For a man that says he’ll never be tied down, you’re not too bad at this whole love advice thing,” I laugh.

“It’s called wisdom,” he says smugly. “Just because I don’t want a serious relationship doesn’t mean I don’t know what to do. I just know how those things can end. Rather avoid that.”

I know he’s speaking from experience. Since his parents divorced nearly twenty years ago, he was always going back and forth between the US and South Korea. I imagine that leaves an impression on a kid, especially when his father refuses to say anything nice about his ex-wife.

“We’ll have to find a way to catch up when you’re back in the states. Didn’t really get to see you during the World Series.”

“Oh shit, I didn’t tell you. I talked to my agent the other day. I have a meeting in New York next week.”

“With the Stars?” I can’t hide the excitement in my voice.

“Yeah.” I can hear his smile. “My agent put feelers out as soon as I told him I didn’t want a new contract with Atlanta. So I’m glad to hear Paul Fisher is a good guy. I’ll just be sure to keep my hands off his daughter so I don’t piss him off.”

He’s riling me up; I know he is. And the possessive bastard in me takes the damn bait.

“You better stay the fuck away from her. She’s mine.”

“Is she? From what I hear, she’s single.”

“Ari, I swear to fucking God I will kick your ass if you try anything with her.”

All I hear on the other end is raucous laughter followed by gasps of breath. “God, I missed fucking with you, Pierce.”

“I regret telling Skip you didn’t want to be in Atlanta.”

“No, you don’t,” he laughs.

“No, I don’t,” I sigh. “Catch me when you’re in New York next week.”

“You got it, man. I’ll see you then.”

“See ya, Ari.”

After I disconnect the call, I lean back against the kitchen wall and take a deep breath.

Ari might be right.

I need to talk to Rory and tell her what I want.

This week is going to be busy, though. With Josh and Ella’s wedding on Saturday, we’ve all got things to do to get ready for this weekend since our friend group is literally the entirety of the wedding party.

I probably won’t be able to talk to Rory much until the rehearsal dinner on Friday. So, I’ll just have to talk to her after that.

The silence is broken by a loud knock at my door. Who’s here this early on a Sunday?

I make my way to the foyer and swing the front door open to find my sister on the other side, arms crossed.

Oh fuck.

I really hope this isn’t because she found out about Rory and me.

“Hey, Lo,” I say, pretending I have any semblance of composure. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

She walks under my arm and right into my living room, taking a seat on the couch. I join her with nervous steps.

“Is everything alright? You seem really tense right now.”

Harlow lets out a breath, and her face softens. “Cole, what the hell has been going on with you? I feel like I’ve barely talked to you over the past two weeks. It seems like you’re avoiding me.”

I am.

Not for any reason other than I don’t know what to fucking say to her.

I’ve canceled our past two Wednesday breakfasts. I’ve barely texted her. I haven’t called her at all. We talked briefly at Rory’s birthday party, but I avoided her most of that night, too.

I’m currently vying for the title of World’s Worst Brother.

“I’m not avoiding you,” I say, with no conviction to my tone whatsoever.

“I’m not buying it.” She crosses her arms again. “I know you’re being weird about something. I asked Knox if he had any idea why, and I had never seen that man change the subject faster. Something happened; my boyfriend knows what, and neither of you is telling me anything.”

If she’s only talking about Knox and me, that means Rory is acting normally.

How the fuck is Rory acting normally around my sister right now?!

I sigh, defeated by the knowledge that I’m going to have to tell Harlow what happened.

“Something did happen,” I say quietly.

“And my boyfriend knows before me? You tell me everything, Cole.” She looks hurt; I can see the emotions on her face.

“It was something I drunkenly told the guys at Josh’s bachelor party. That’s why Knox knows.”

“What happened? Did something happen between you and Rory?” Harlow’s voice is actually concerned as if she thinks we had a falling out or something.

“Y-yes,” I stammer. “Something happened with Rory.”

My nervousness must tell her that there was no fight. Understanding washes over her, and her hand flies up to cover the wide smile stretching across her face.

“Cole!” she says, her excitement all too evident. “What happened?!”

I groan as I sink back against the couch cushions. “I don’t know if you actually want me to tell you that.”

Especially considering the fact that part of what happened was me eating your best friend out in the exact spot you’re sitting in…

“I definitely don’t want details, but I want to know if I’m right.”

I sigh, unable to avoid it any longer. “We slept together.”

“Fucking finally!” she shouts.

“Oh my God, don’t be weird, Lo.”

“Shut up.” She rolls her eyes. “You already know I like the idea of you two together.”

“We’re… not together, though. She told me it was one night.”

I’m just going to gloss over the night of her birthday.

“Bullshit,” Harlow bites. “She doesn’t mean that.”

“Considering we aren’t together, I’d say she did.”

Her face softens completely, leaving her with the sweet look that always got her out of trouble with our parents.

“You want to be together with her?” she smiles.

“Honestly,” I sigh, “I do. I’m fucking crazy about her.”

“So what are you going to do then?”

“I’m going to talk to her Friday after the rehearsal dinner.”

She claps a hand on my shoulder, and I give her a curious look. “Best of luck, bro.”

I can’t help but laugh. “You’re so fucking weird, Lo.”

“And I’m still the best sister ever.”

“You’re my only sister ever.”

“Semantics.”