Page 28

“Try to close your eyes, it may help. Feel the air, how it changes, use your sense of smell, listen. Sometimes you see more when you can’t see anything at all.” Cam fades away, and I reluctantly close my eyes .

I hear his feet hit the ground softly to my left. My staff shoots out meeting air before his punches into my stomach, throwing me off balance and knocking me back. I struggle for a breath and when I do fill my lungs, I’m met with the stench of hay.

I’m transported back to the moment Forde’s foot slams into my middle.

Eyes flying open, I drop to my knees to steady myself. I grip the staff tightly and then wipe damp palms onto my thigh.

Weak. That was all I would ever be. I shut my eyes against the images of Forde above me, the feeling of rough rope against my ankles.

I’ve been floundering since stepping foot out of Bellehaven. I’ve been beaten, bruised, thrown from one harrowing incident to the next. I’d failed Ledger’s father and was currently failing myself.

“Sorry Layla, did I hit you too hard?!” Cam’s eyes are wide, filled with concern. He leans towards me apprehensively from a few feet away, as if not wanting to get too close and upset me further.

“I can’t do this.” I throw the staff, and it falls to the ground sending up a cloud of dirt.

“Get up, Layla.” Mia is next to me in the next second.

“I am good at one thing and that’s healing. I’m just wasting everyone’s time.” My shoulders drop as I let out a frustrated sigh. I can feel Ledger watching from across the training grounds, awaiting my next move.

“You’ve forgotten your reason. You don’t want to feel helpless anymore? Then fight. You don’t want to be a victim anymore? Then fight. You have to feel weak to become strong.” She grabs my staff off the ground and holds her hand out to me. “Now get up.”

“All I’ve been doing is fighting Mia!”

“Well now you’re going to do it with a purpose. On your feet. I’m not letting you give up that easily.” I grind my teeth together letting Mia’s words settle over me. Taking a deep breath, I slide my clammy hand into hers.

Once standing she brushes off my knees and places the staff back into my hands. I grip it hard enough that my fingers turn white and turn back to Cam. He looks nervously between Mia and me.

“I can sense your frustration, your anger. Use it. Channel it. Work with your emotions, not against them. Don’t let them control you.” Mia waits for my reluctant nod before stepping back.

Cam gives me a hesitant look.

“You’re fine, Cam. I’m sorry I had a moment. Let’s try again.” I close the distance between us.

“Are—are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” I’d asked for this; I just wasn’t prepared for the feeling of vulnerability and helplessness to resurface. I’d made it to Westray, survived the Maladra and Kerolu. I’d escaped Forde, and if I encountered any of them again, I’d be prepared.

I close my eyes and bend my knees bracing myself. I hold out my staff ready for Cam’s assault and let my emotions build my determination.

I can sense Cam’s hesitation before he fades. My back spikes with awareness as he materializes. I hear his sharp intake of air as he waits for my reaction.

My body acts before my brain can command it and I swing around brandishing my staff like a sword.

It makes contact, bouncing off Cam’s. A resounding noise echoes through the courtyard.

My eyes spring open to meet Cam’s. He looks shocked, the whites of his eyes gleaming against the sun.

“Let’s go again, and don’t go easy on me.” My eyes fall shut and I get in a defensive position once again.

A rush of air brushes my cheek as Cam departs. I move around the ring with my senses on high alert. Taking a deep inhale, I get a whiff of freshly laundered clothing. Cam.

I strike out, this time making contact with his body.

“Nice one, Layla.” He grunts and I can’t help but smother a grin.

We carry on like this until I am panting and sweat drips down my back. Cam gets in a few more- much lighter hits, but so do I, and each one makes me feel powerful and competent .

Cam fades only to emerge on my right. Our staffs knock together hard enough to make my teeth clatter. He’s gone again and I sense him in front of me. We meet each other blow for blow until I make it past his defenses.

I don’t know where my staff connects but by the pained wheeze that Cam releases, I know it can’t be good. I open my eyes to him on the ground, gripping his groin.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, Cam. Are you okay?!” Mia slaps a hand over her mouth to conceal her laugh.

“Good hit,” he grits out, gasping for air.

The door of the training grounds knocks open as Archie arrives. “What’s going on here? Fighting dirty, are you, Layla?” I hear the grin in Archie’s voice as I drop to the ground next to Cam.

“Shut up, Archie. We were working on honing my senses. In my defense, it was his idea to have me close my eyes!”

I awkwardly touch Cam’s shoulder as I try to comfort him. “Would you like me to try and use my power to take away the pain?”

“No, please no, I’m okay.” Cam winces as he pushes himself up.

Mia snickers. “You alright, Cammy?”

“I’m fine. I think that’s enough for one day.”

“Are you sure? Let me just use my pow—” I try, and he cuts me off.

“I’m sure. I don’t need your hands or power anywhere near my crotch. ”

“Okay, sorry again,” I call back to Cam as Mia pulls me away.

“Don’t worry, one time, I hit Ledger in the balls so hard he was limping for a week. An accident, of course,” she whispers, and I snort.

“Thanks for not letting me give up.” I rub at a bruising spot on my arm.

“I wouldn’t dream of it. Remember this moment at our next training.” She squeezes my arm and waves leaving through the door.

I linger in the courtyard after Mia’s gone, watching as Ledger says goodbye to the children.

He sneaks silvers into each of their bags as they depart.

I marvel at his softness and the playful nature with which he addresses each of them.

I find myself envious, wanting to experience that side of him for myself.

They all look at him like he’s hung the moon, and I watch with rapt attention. For the first time, I get a glimpse of how much he loves his people and see the traits of a future king in him.

When they have all gone, he turns to me. I try to ignore the way my stomach flutters.

“I could use some help cleaning up if you feel so inclined.”

“Put me to work.”

He motions for me to go first, and I walk in front of him, suddenly self-conscious .

We bend down, picking up wooden swords and staffs off the grass. I’m hyper-aware of his presence, and as we work next to each other, I’m careful not to brush him.

“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.” He empties my hands and leans the equipment against the wall. “You have fight in you. You just need somewhere to direct it. Preferably not at me.” Grinning he bends back down, loading up his arms.

“That may be true.” I respond following his lead. “And you seem to really have a way with the kids,” A soft smile graces my lips. “The ever-serious prince has a soft spot for children. Who would have guessed?”

“They’ve grown on me. We’ve been working together for a few years now. They have helped me as much, if not more than I have helped them.”

“It’s wonderful—what you do for them. I wish I would have had someone like you when I discovered my power.” I finish stacking the wooden swords.

“That’s why I started doing it. Children who are born with power need help channeling it. Honing their skills, releasing pent-up energy. It can be scary, explosive and overwhelming.” Our fingers brush as we bend down to grab the same training weapon.

“How old were you when your powers came in?” I ask, snatching my hand back.

“I was five when my nature ability started to surface, nine when my siphoning powers took effect. The latter being harder to control. Every time I would touch someone, I would siphon their powers. I was scared to touch anyone for years.”

“That’s horrible.” I pick up a staff and scrape at the chipping wood.

“I read every book I could find that had information on siphoning. My mother had passed by then and my father was sick, so Archie, Mia, and my sister would let me practice on them. I can imagine it wasn’t very enjoyable, but they never complained.

” As he talks, I try to picture the little boy he was.

“I was so fearful of my siphoning power that I didn’t allow myself to kiss anyone until I was almost eighteen. ”

“That must have been very upsetting for all of the girls that met you before then.” I laugh. He grins over at me, and I relish it when his dimple pops.

“Thank you for your help. If you ever want to join a session, I’m sure the kids would love to say they got to work with an all-elusive healer,” he offers, and I nod. My heart squeezes as I picture what a life here could look like.