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CHAPTER SIX

Declan

I steered clear of Cash as much as I could over the next week.

I had more pressing matters to focus on than the strained conversation we’d had on the dock, even if my mind replayed it ten times a day.

I still had to decide what to tell Nate about that development offer. Could I really just sell the B&B and walk away?

Aunt Millie loved it, and I’d tried to love it too. I really had. But if the guests weren’t even enjoying their stay—as their reviews suggested—then wasn’t I doing a disservice to her memory?

On the other hand, she knew me and she’d chosen to leave me the B&B instead of my sister, Monroe. I had to believe that was because Monroe would have sold on Day One.

My thoughts circled round and round, never leaving me with a clear answer. I still didn’t have one when Nathan called on a Monday morning. I had only one couple booked at the B&B, and they’d gone into town, leaving me to enjoy my coffee over a crossword puzzle.

At least until my phone rang.

“Not trying to rush you, man, but it’s been over a week,” Nathan said after I’d answered. “This opportunity won’t last forever.”

“I know.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’ll give you an answer soon, I promise.”

“Do you know what that answer might be?” he said, tone cajoling. “Maybe give me a hint.”

“Sorry, Nathan, if I knew that, I’d give you an answer now.”

“Right, well?—”

“I have to go. Talk later.” I hung up before he could try to sell me. He was way too good at that, and I was too tired to fight his powers of persuasion.

I changed into some ratty cargo shorts and a gray T-shirt, then went out to my garden behind the house—the only place I could really find some peace. I made the rounds, watering my nearly ripened strawberries, my newly planted basil and cucumbers, the tomatoes just beginning to set fruit.

It was still early. A crisp breeze came off the water, gently fluttering through my hair. The smell of damp soil rose from the ground, setting me at ease. This was my oasis in Swallow Cove, the one place I belonged.

Here, I didn’t disappoint anyone—except maybe the weeds.

I finished watering, then grabbed the pruning shears and went to work on the rosebushes and shrubs. By the time I’d moved on to ripping weeds out by their roots with a vicious satisfaction, the sun was high in the sky and I was pouring sweat.

I wrapped both hands around the base of the pesky broadleaf weed, tugging with all my strength.

“Don’t test me, you bastard,” I growled as I leaned back, straining to rip it from the ground.

“What a way to greet your best friend.”

Hudson’s voice startled me just as the roots gave up their grip on the soil and I fell back onto my ass with an exclamation.

“Fucking hell!” I tossed the weed aside. “Can’t you warn a guy?”

Hudson chuckled and extended a hand down to help me up. I took off my gardening gloves, now covered in soil and bits of grass, then grasped his hand.

He tugged me to my feet with impressive ease. Hudson was brawny where I was wiry. I dusted the dirt from my knees and ass.

“You still up for grabbing an early lunch?” Hudson asked. “Or do you want to go back to wrestling weeds?”

“Shit, is it that time already?” I glanced down at my dirty, sweaty self with a grimace. “Sorry. I got carried away.”

He grinned. “This look suits you.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Dirty?”

“Earthy,” he said with a chuckle. “Casual and comfortable.”

“I guess that’s one way to put it. Do I have time for a quick shower?”

“Sure. There’s actually not much I need to do until my afternoon boat tour. Sawyer did a damn good job managing things for me.”

Hudson had gone out of town for a week, so I hadn’t had the chance to fill him in on my dilemma yet. I saw him briefly Saturday night—but he was at dinner with Cash and all his friends, so I hadn’t stuck around long.

“Great, come on in.”

Hudson followed me to my private quarters, and I left him on my sofa while I rinsed off in the shower. I dressed in casual slacks and a short-sleeved dress shirt, combed my hair, and applied cologne. I resisted the urge to shave, even though dark stubble colored my jaw.

I didn’t want to keep Hudson waiting too long.

We decided on Catch of the Day, a casual cafe, for lunch. We placed our order at the front counter, then carried a number to our table so they could bring the food when it was ready.

While we waited, Hudson caught me up on his trip to Granville, Nebraska, where his boyfriend had family.

They’d gotten back only a couple of days ago with gifts for all their friends. Fisher had given his friends sex toys—I’d almost swallowed my tongue when I saw the monster dildo Cash accepted with glee in the middle of the dang pub—but thankfully, I’d received a box of treats instead.

“The doughnuts were delicious, by the way. Thank Fisher for me.”

“They’re amazing, right? How fast did you eat them?”

I chuckled ruefully. “They lasted one morning.”

He nodded. “Glazed Holes knows what they’re doing.”

“That name though…”

He grinned. “I know.”

Pam Willard, one of the owners, arrived with our plates. “Fried catfish for Hudson and seared trout for Declan. Enjoy, guys. Let me know if you need anything else.”

I inhaled the scent of lemon pepper from my plate of fish and rice, my mouth watering.

“This looks great,” Hudson said. “Thanks.”

We both dug in. Hudson ate quickly, dipping his catfish in the sauce, getting his fingers greasy and not caring. I went slower, cutting each bite precisely and keeping an orderly plate: the fish lay on a bed of rice, which was fine, but the summer squash medley had to be kept separate. Otherwise, it’d taint the flavor of both items.

“So, did you miss this place while you were gone?” I asked before taking another bite.

“Mm.” Hudson swallowed a bite and picked up his beer to chase it with a drink. “It was a nice break, but I’m glad to be back. Even though it’s kind of strange to see how much I missed.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, when I left, Ash and Sawyer were at each other’s throats. Then I come back, and they’re a mushy couple. Funny how quickly things can change, you know?”

I nodded. I’d seen them together at the pub, holding hands and exchanging looks. Aside from approaching to say hello to Hudson and invite him to this lunch, I’d kept my distance.

The conversation with Cash after he’d kissed Sawyer still mortified me.

“I don’t understand why Cash kissed Sawyer at the pub,” I blurted. “If Sawyer and Ash are dating, then why—” I stopped short with an exasperated laugh. “Nevermind. I sound like a nosy old lady.”

Hudson raised an eyebrow at me. “I wouldn’t say that.”

“Oh, well…that’s good.”

“But I can tell you why, if you’re interested.”

“I’m not interested,” I protested automatically. “Just…confused.”

He smiled, a touch of pity leaking into it that made me bristle.

“Just forget it,” I said.

“The way Fisher tells it, Cash wanted Sawyer to see that kissing Ash meant something real. Sawyer was in denial about what was happening, and Cash knew he wouldn’t enjoy kissing him, so…”

“It was an experiment?”

“I guess that’s one way to put it,” Hudson said with a shrug. “They’re all so young. They’re still figuring things out, you know?” He groaned. “And god, can you believe I’m dating the youngest one of them all?”

I laughed. “And you better keep dating him since you dined and dashed on me just to get in his pants.”

“I did not get in his pants that night!” Hudson protested. “He was drunk, and someone else was trying to take advantage. I was just…”

“Protective of his pants,” I said. “Got it.”

“Yes,” he said. “Well…” He looked chagrinned. “I was the only one he really wanted.”

I smiled, genuinely happy for him, but a tinge of sadness crept in. I didn’t expect I’d ever have that kind of love. Not when I couldn’t give a partner what they really needed.

Hudson picked up a napkin to wipe his fingers. “But enough about me,” he said. “You mentioned wanting to talk about something?”

Nerves fluttered. I wasn’t sure Hudson would understand my dilemma. He was so happy here, but me? I just never fit.

“I’m, uh, considering a business opportunity.”

He braced his arms on the table and leaned forward. “Oh?”

I swallowed. “I have a friend over in Chicago. He wants me to come back and work with him.”

Hudson’s gaze sharpened. “Is that what you want?”

“Maybe. I was good at it. Better than I’ve ever been at running the B&B.”

“And what about the B&B then? If you leave…”

I wet my lips. “Well, I’ve got an offer from some developers, but after what happened with the resort…” I cleared my throat. “I just want to be careful.”

Hudson sighed. “Damn, man. You’re really gonna leave me with all these kids? You were supposed to start dating Cash so I wouldn’t feel like such an old man around them.”

My heart wrenched, and the memory of Cash standing too close on the dock behind The Rusty Hook rose up in my mind. The soft, almost wounded tone of his voice as he said, “I can’t kiss whoever I want. I tried once, and he rejected me.”

Hudson painted a nice picture, but it wasn’t realistic.

“I’m not the guy for Cash,” I said firmly.

Even if deep down, I wished I could be.

“That’s a shame,” Hudson said quietly. “I’ve never seen that guy give anyone a second look but you.”

I scoffed. “He gives everyone a second look.”

“No, he gave them a thorough first look?—”

“So much better,” I grumbled.

“But that was a year ago or more. You know he’s changed. You must have seen it.”

I shrugged. “That really isn’t my business. What to do about the B&B, about my future, can’t be about someone else.”

“No, of course not.” Hudson sighed. “Your happiness is what’s important. If your work gives you that, then you should pursue it. But if it’s something else…”

“Like?”

“Friends. Family. Community.” He cocked his head. “You’re not alone here, you know? You have people who care.”

My throat tightened. Hudson was a good friend, and sure, I enjoyed my gardening chats with Mimsy and Pipsy. Pearl and Ruth Marie at the Outdoor Market begged me for strawberries each year, and gave me jams and canned fruits in return.

I wasn’t alone here, exactly, but I wasn’t Hudson. I didn’t have a loving boyfriend or a mother here in town.

Most of all, though, I wasn’t an extrovert. I didn’t enjoy meeting tourists. I didn’t know how to deal with all the people who passed through the B&B, who intruded into my life, who made me feel uncomfortable and out of place in my home.

I didn’t know if returning to Chicago would make me happy. But it would be comfortable there. Easier to fade into the background, where my flaws weren’t so damn noticeable.

“Swallow Cove is great, but…I think I have to explore this option, at least.”

Hudson’s brows drew together in a frown, but he nodded his understanding. Just one of the things that made him a good friend.

“I’d suggest giving Skylar a call. He bailed us out when those asshole developers tried to hoodwink Fisher. His dad moves in those circles, and he’ll know more about that world. Maybe he can give you some advice.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” I smiled tightly. “Thanks.”

Hudson startled me by placing a hand on my forearm. “But please, think on it long and hard. Once you sign an agreement, there’s no going back.”

“That’s all I’ve been doing,” I said. “I’m losing sleep over it, but…I can’t shake the idea. It’s taken hold.” I took a breath. “I really think this is the right choice for me.”

“Fair enough,” he said. “But we’ll miss you around here.”

“Yeah, well, let’s see what happens before you write me any farewell speeches. Maybe they’ll lowball me and I’ll tell them to take their offer and shove it.”

He chuckled. “All right. Keep me updated, so I can be sappy at the appropriate time.”

“I will.”