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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Cash

“I hate you!” Kat shrieked.

A door slammed down the hall, followed by my dad’s nasty chuckle.

“Why do you wind her up like that?” Mom said in exasperation, her voice drifting back from the living room. “She’s a teenage girl.”

Great, Dad was picking at Kat again. Lately, it seemed like his favorite pastime.

“Exactly,” Dad muttered as I stepped out of my bedroom. “She needs to know what to expect from guys. Look at Cash. He just fucks around all the time. No respect for anyone, even himself.”

I reached the living room, my mouth running before my brain could think better of it.

“Because you’d know a lot about self-respect. Don’t worry, Dad, if you want to warn Kat off guys, all she has to do is look at you.”

Mom winced, and Dad’s glazed eyes narrowed on me. “You watch your mouth. I put a roof over your head.”

“No, actually, that’s Mom and me. I may be a fuckup, but I pay more bills than you do.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” he snarled.

“Gladly.” I stormed down the hall and pushed open Katelyn’s door. “I’m going out. Come with me. It’s going to be one of those nights.”

My sister didn’t need to ask what I meant by that. She grabbed her phone and her purse and followed me out of the house.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Cookout at Sawyer’s.”

She pulled a face. “Haven’t I been punished enough for one night?”

“Very funny. Don’t worry, his boyfriend does the grilling now.”

Her eyes lit up. “The food boat guy? Benny and I stopped there last week, and he made the best tacos.”

I smirked. “You should tell Ash that when we get there.”

Ash hated that people seemed to appreciate his tacos more than some of his more creative inventions, and I was a shit-stirrer, so I couldn’t wait to see his reaction. They were damn good tacos, though.

“He’s really cute too,” Kat said.

I chuckled. “And you should tell Sawyer that.”

There was nothing I enjoyed more than getting under Sawyer’s skin. We’d always been like that. We were oil and water, usually on opposing sides of most arguments, but somehow our friendship worked. For a while, Fisher was convinced I wanted to date Sawyer, but that stupid kiss had put that question to bed. We had zero chemistry.

Besides, he only wanted Ash, and I only wanted…a man I couldn’t have. Yeah, I was screwed. I knew Declan wouldn’t necessarily invite me to jerk off for him every day just because he had once. But I’d hoped for, I don’t know, maybe more kisses? An acknowledgment that we could turn this connection between us into something more before it was too late.

But maybe it was already too late. The man was leaving town. It didn’t get much more hopeless than that.

Sawyer’s place wasn’t a long walk. We cut through the Swallow Cove Park and came in behind the oddball collection of campers and RVs at the LandShark Retreat. If I were to move out of our house, I’d most likely end up in a place like this.

Swallow Cove had mansions in the hills, moderate houses and rentals farther inland—in short supply and all occupied by long-term residents—and campers aplenty. A lot of tourists bought them, thinking they wanted the lake life, only to decide they’d made a mistake and sell them to locals for a steal.

A steal was still beyond me when I was helping my mom maintain a mortgage, cover utilities, groceries, and other needs. Not to mention, Kat needed me at home as a buffer.

“What’s going on with Benny, anyway?” I asked Katelyn as we wound between trailers. “Why was Dad giving you grief?”

She huffed. “Why does he ever? He’s mean when he’s drunk, which is like all the time.”

I slung an arm over her shoulder and tugged her close. “So nothing happened with your guy?”

She leaned into me. “He’s texting with some girl he says is just a friend. I shouldn’t have told Dad. It was stupid.”

“Need me to kick Benny’s ass?”

She giggled. “As if you could. He’s a linebacker.”

“Yeah, yeah, but I was a pitcher for the baseball team.”

“Which means what?”

“I can bean him in the head with a baseball.”

She laughed some more, which was the goal, and by the time we entered the clearing in front of Sawyer’s teardrop camper, we were both more relaxed. It wasn’t easy living in a toxic environment, and Katelyn got to escape it a lot less than me.

“Hey, it’s both the Hicks sibs!” Fisher called.

“Hey, everyone,” Katelyn said, waving. “Sorry to crash the party.”

“No, this is great,” Poppy said, smiling from her spot at the picnic table. “I’m always outnumbered by the guys.”

Katelyn and I joined Poppy at the table, across from Fisher, Brooks, and Skylar. Ash was working the grill, sending a delicious barbecue scent drifting across the yard.

“Hudson’s not here?” I asked.

“He’s hanging out with Declan tonight,” Fisher said. “Which I guess explains why you’re here and not at the B&B like every other night.”

I shrugged. “Gray’s got a booze cruise, and we’re not really in a place to start the next project without him. Declan told me to take the night off.”

I would have gladly spent my night off with Declan, cuddled up together on his couch—where we’d landed three out of the last five nights I’d worked at the B&B—but he’d told me he had plans.

The camper door opened and Sawyer came out with a cooler full of drinks. His neighbor kid Shua followed with a bowl of potato salad, which they put in the center of the table.

Tonight, Shua was wearing a ballcap paired with overalls and a frilly pink shirt. I couldn’t have assigned a gender to that outfit even if I wanted to, and given that Shua was nonbinary, that was as it should be.

“Hey!” Shua’s gaze landed on Katelyn. My sister was a few years older than them, but still much closer in age than the rest of us. “Wanna see my turtle?”

“Uh.” Kate glanced sidelong at me.

“It’s an actual turtle,” I said with a laugh. “Shua adopted it.”

She shrugged. “Okay, sure.”

She stood up, and as she and Shua passed by Ash, I heard her say, “I love your tacos at the food boat!”

Ash’s pained smile made me laugh. Sawyer shook his head. “He’s going to love that.”

I grinned. “I know.”

“You’re nothing but trouble,” Sawyer said, obviously clueing in that I’d put her up to it.

“She also thinks Ash is cute.”

He rolled his eyes and took a seat. “I’m not taking your bait tonight. My man is very happy with me.”

“Good,” I said, “because I never want you to kiss me again.”

Fisher choked on his beer, spluttering. Poppy hid her smile, while Brooks and Sky laughed.

Sawyer glared. “The feeling is mutual, asshole.”

Brooks took a drink of his beer, then asked, “So, what’s going on with you and Declan? You’re spending a lot of time over there.”

“It’s a big project,” I said. “I only have so much time around my resort hours and when I need to be at home for Kat.”

He nodded. “Sure. But is that the only reason?”

All my friends were staring at me now. I cursed under my breath. “This isn’t one of those frienderventions, is it? Because I’m fine.”

Sawyer snorted. “Exactly what I said when you all cornered me.”

“And me,” Fisher added.

“Hey, how come Brooks never got a friendervention?” I asked, hoping to deflect the attention away from me.

Brooks grinned. “Because I didn’t go through denial like the rest of you idiots. I wasn’t about to hide from my feelings for Skylar.”

“Aw.” I pantomimed gagging. “So cute.”

“You’re just jealous,” Brooks said.

“Damn right. Skylar is hot.”

Skylar blushed, which had been the goal. Brooks’s eyes narrowed on me as he wrapped an arm around Skylar’s shoulders. He was reliably a possessive boyfriend, even if Skylar held all the cards in that relationship. Brooks was hopelessly smitten and would do anything Skylar asked at the drop of a hat—and they both loved it.

“I know what you’re doing,” Brooks said. “It won’t work. I was asking about you and Declan.”

Damn. I’d been so close to sidetracking him.

“Declan’s great,” I said. “I’m finally getting him to warm up to me.”

Brooks’s eyebrows shot up, and I pointed a finger at him. “Not like that.”

Well, a little like that, if you counted him whispering in my ear while I jerked off in front of him. But that might never happen again.

I’d meant the talking, the small smiles, the casual brushes of his hand against my back, or the way he leaned into me when I slung my arm over his shoulders. And when we were alone on the sofa, with no one watching? He curled into me like a love-starved cat.

Declan wanted love. I was convinced of that. He just didn’t know how to accept it. But that was all too private to share with Brooks.

“We’ve become friends,” I said instead.

“Just friends?” Fisher asked, sounding skeptical. “You’ve been obsessed with him for two years.”

“Obsessed is a strong word,” I muttered.

“But accurate,” Poppy said.

Well, hell, if Poppy was saying it, it must be true. She wasn’t a shit-stirrer like the rest of us.

“Fine, maybe I have been. But he’s selling the B&B and leaving town. I can’t exactly ask him for more.” I shrugged. “But if he falls madly in love with me and stays, I won’t be sad about it.”

Skylar looked concerned. “Do you really think that’s likely? He sounded pretty determined to leave when I talked to him.”

“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “But I can’t just turn off my feelings for him, so…”

“This isn’t healthy,” Brooks said. “If a guy doesn’t want to be caught, you stop chasing him.”

“That’s what you all told me too,” Fisher pointed out. “But Hudson did want me. He just needed a little incentive to figure that out. Maybe it’s the same with Declan.”

I lifted the bottle, taking a long cool drink of the beer Sawyer had brought to the table.

“Declan is different from most guys,” I said. “I’m not chasing him. He doesn’t like that. I’m just…letting him come to me on his terms.”

“And if he doesn’t?” Brooks asked.

“It’ll suck,” I said bluntly. “But this is my only chance. I convinced him to let me help him renovate the B&B. At the end of it, he’ll either decide to stay or…”

“He’ll go,” Skylar said softly.

“Yeah.” I swallowed. “Either way, I’ll have my answer.”

“You might be setting yourself up to crash and burn,” Sawyer said. “You know that, right?”

“I do.” I sent him a grin. “But when have you known me to do anything halfway?”

Brooks chuckled ruefully. “Just try not to obliterate yourself in the process, okay? We’re here to pick up the pieces, but there’s only so much we can do.”

Skylar reached out and squeezed my arm. “You’re worth loving, Cash. I hope he sees that. If he doesn’t, it will be because of him, not you.”

My throat grew tight, and I took another gulp of beer to loosen it up. “Thanks, guys.” I gave them a suspicious look. “ Was this a friendervention?”

Ash came over to the table with a platter full of barbecue chicken that instantly made my mouth water. “Did you guys friendervent without me? Not cool.”

“It wasn’t a friendervention,” Fisher said. “There would have been more yelling.”

“More denial too,” Brooks added. “You’re way too self-aware to need one. For better or worse, you know what you’re doing.”

I gave a sharp nod. “Yeah, I do.”

Maybe I was on a foolhardy mission that would only end in heartbreak, but damn it, I was going to see it through.