Page 21 of Resist Me Not (Bloody Desires #4)

“No. Two birds and all that. I did have things to purchase for our date, but I was also following Mr. Wayfair. I am impressed I didn’t notice you following me.”

“Pure luck, believe me, not skill,” Walker snorts.

“Even so. You are very resourceful, doctor.”

The previous tension Walker had shrugged off returns. He holds his tea to his chest now, inhaling the steam. His eyes start on the table but slowly drift up to meet mine again. “I get why you did it. Why you… do this. But how can you do it so coldly? ASPD?”

Ah. Antisocial personality disorder. Basically, that I am a sociopath. “I have never been officially diagnosed, but that is likely. Plenty of us live normal lives and contribute to society, as I am sure you are aware. We aren’t all serial killers.”

“ You are.” Walker’s voice trembles with the sharper than usual accusation. “And I can’t call any of what you do normal.”

My phone rings. Usually, I would ignore it while so heatedly engaged, but a glance at the screen shows it is my mother. I show as much to Walker. “Like you, at least until last night, my mother believes I am normal, so you must admit, I play the part well.”

And what could be more normal and wholesome than a close family?

“Hello, Mother,” I answer the call. “No, it isn’t too early. I have already finished my second cup of coffee and had an eventful start to the day.” I grin at Walker as we chat.

He sets his tea down again and leans forward, listening in and not being subtle about it. If I had anything to hide about this conversation, I wouldn’t have answered.

“Yes, no change of plans. I will be on a plane to see you tomorrow.”

Walker’s posture snaps upright.

“I will text you before takeoff. I love you too, Mother. See you soon.”

“You’re leaving?” Walker asks before I have even finished lowering the phone from my ear.

“To visit my mother before my next assignment.”

“You weren’t going to tell me?”

“I was. Today. Even if not for how plans derailed last night.”

“Because you murdered someone,” Walker hisses. He’s getting bolder. If he can’t see past my calling, we have a problem.

“If you had evidence to offer the police, would you have turned me in this morning?” I ask.

That dwindles some of his boldness, and he stares pointedly at his tea again without answering.

He isn’t sure but wonders if he might have. Considering I already told Walker more about my past than I have ever divulged to another, now seems as good a time as any to tell him the rest of that story.

“One night, when my father was being particularly rough with my mother, and I can only imagine that she feared what he might one day do to me if she didn’t continue to take hits on my behalf, she clubbed him with a candlestick and killed him.”

Walker gasps, just a little intake of air, as he looks at me, tea forgotten.

“That is how we were finally freed from him. She disposed of the body, and no one ever found out the truth. Should she go to jail?”

“That’s not fair.” Walker scowls.

“Why not?”

“She didn’t premeditate her crime. It was self-defense.”

“And if someone else had killed my father sooner, she would have fewer scars, and he would still be dead.” I finish the final sip of my coffee, which has gone cold now.

Walker is silent while mulling over what I said.

Even with watery eyes, damp hair, and a shrunken disposition, he is one of the most delectable people I have ever known.

“I enjoy spending time with you, Walker. I would like to spend more.”

“But you’re leaving.”

“My day job, as you know, means I can go where I wish to when I wish to. And after my next assignment, I would like to come back here to see you again. I would like to see more of you tonight again as well.”

An unreadable expression overtakes him, like he isn’t sure if he is pleased or dismayed to hear this. “I can’t go back to that hotel.”

“I don’t plan to either other than to check out. How about your place?”

“I…”

“Please, Walker.” Since he has abandoned his tea, I take hold of his hands.

I bring them to my lips and kiss each set of knuckles in turn, until his eyes look less demoralized and fearful.

There is still affection for me in them.

He cannot hide that. He cannot hide that he is mine and wants to remain so.

“Don’t you want to keep being a good boy for Daddy?

” I say it low, gravelly, and hinting at what I am offering.

“You were so good last night, and good again for me this morning. I would like to reward that.”

He shudders when I kiss his knuckles again with the addition of flicks from my tongue. “H-how… do I know what you say and do from here on out isn’t just to keep me from turning you in later?”

Always so astute, even if he doubts his ability to read me. “You said you trusted me.”

“That was before I found out you lied.”

“Then I will never lie to you again.” I suck one of his fingers into my mouth, and he gives the most precious little moan.

“How can I trust that ?”

I would take him apart again right here, tucked into the corner of a busy Starbucks, if I could.

But I have tasks to complete before tonight.

I drag my teeth along his finger as I release it.

“Either you can or you can’t, all I can do is tell you plainly.

I will never lie to you again. I’ll bring takeout at seven. ” I stand to leave.

“Wait!”

“Yes?” I glance down at him.

He doesn’t know what he meant to say, and as he flounders for words, I debate offering to take him home again. I think, however, that he needs this time to be alone with his thoughts and let my promises properly nestle into his subconscious.

I still cannot say if Walker is worth these risks, but I can’t help wanting to continue taking them.

He wraps his fingers around his tea, moistened one included, without drying it on his napkin first. “S-seven?”

Good boy. “Seven,” I say and kiss his scar before I leave.