Page 19 of Resist Me Not (Bloody Desires #4)

The playlist has stopped on the laptop, I know because I can hear… the faint but familiar enough to me sounds of a bone saw being used in the bathroom.

I down the rest of the wine and pour myself more.

Then I start another playlist and turn up the volume.

I’m still full of good food and wine and enough nausea that I could throw up any minute, but I hold it all down.

I can’t keep more tears from falling though.

I just try to breathe and sip my new glass a little slower, so I don’t black out for a different reason any time soon.

I hear the bathroom door open and close a few times while I wait—Trey getting supplies or something?

—but when I finally hear the shower going, I know he must be finished.

I don’t want to turn around and look in that direction though, because I don’t know what I’ll see.

I don’t look at anything but the front door until Trey comes up beside me.

He’s returned in just his tux pants and shirt, dressed down like I am. “May I?” he asks with a nod at the wine glass. There isn’t as much of this refill gone yet.

I nod and pry my fingers from it.

“Thank you.” Trey tips back his own clean gulp. “The body is ready for disposal. It’s in bags, multiple. I will take care of it, but I need to do so now, which means I need to leave for a while.”

I snap my eyes to his. They really are black. With the reflection of the fairy light making his pupils glow, he could be a demon here to collect my soul.

“Do you wish to ask me something, Walker?” queries the spider of the fly.

I do. “Did you… kill Curtis?”

“Yes.”

“ Why ?”

Trey tilts his head again and also reaches again to delicately stroke my scar with his thumb. “You need to ask that?”

“You killed him for this?” I reach up toward it too, but I hesitate because then my fingers would brush his.

He sees my indecision, takes my hand, and kisses my knuckles.

“It was enough to prompt me to investigate him further. He would have become worse. Hurt someone else far worse in the future. People like that deserve to die. People like you deserve to be protected from such wastes of skin. Don’t you like it, doctor, when Daddy takes care of you?

” He kisses my knuckles again and kneels, holding my hand in both of his.

He likes this, being Daddy so he can take care of me. None of that was faked or some mirage I imagined. And of course I should have realized why sooner, after Trey told me what happened to his own father. Did he kill him too? He was just a little kid, he said. He couldn’t have.

Could he?

Trey isn’t getting up, not moving away, just tenderly holding my hand and stroking the skin with his thumbs. Thumbs that, not long ago, were inside me, among other things. He’s just waiting, patiently waiting for me to answer.

“I… did like it,” I admit. “You do take good care of me. But you… you lied. You kill people. I’m a doctor! I save lives, no matter who the person is or anything they might have done.”

“As you should,” Trey assures me, like it’s as matter of fact as his profession. “I take care of the rest that nature and the law neglects.”

I shake my head, feeling my panic rise again as the shock wears thin and reality starts to settle. I’m crying again. I’m crying so much, I can feel it dripping down my chin.

“Hey. It’s okay,” Trey says.

“It’s not .” I sob and sniffle, trying to stem the tears, but they won’t stop.

He cups my scarred cheek, letting his skin get soaked by my tears too. “Then why did you stay?”

Because I’m terrified! Because I have nowhere else to go. Because…

Because…

“I don’t know.” I sob harder, because I don’t. I could have gone to the police. There was time. I could have called the police from the front desk downstairs. Trey didn’t take my phone. It’s in my pocket with my inhaler and come-stained tie. I could have used that to call for help.

So why the fuck didn’t I?

“There is a very simple answer, my good, good boy,” Trey says, taking one of the napkins from the table to better wipe my tears. “Because you wanted to stay. It was a risk for me to let you decide whether or not you would, but I am glad I did. Because you chose me.” He stands, leans over me, and…

I open my mouth to accept his kiss, grateful for how much it makes everything else fade away for a while. He keeps kissing me, and I… I try to pretend that it’s an hour ago, when he was taking me apart instead of sawing apart the body of his victim.

My breath catches, and I have to turn away. Which is awful because now I’m facing the closet door, and I can see the bags leaning against it.

I hold a hand over my mouth.

“Walker…” Trey’s voice brings my attention back to him.

He is so handsome, and I like him so much, but how can I be sure if any of what I know about him is real?

“I’ll take care of all that. Don’t even think on it.

But please stay, and I will keep taking care of you.

I will be so good to you if you let me.”

His glowing demon-like eyes seem so… sincere.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I drop my hand from covering my mouth and reach for Trey’s face.

Curtis, who on paper had seemed like the perfect partner had turned out to be an asshole who treated me like shit.

And Trey, who scared me from day one and is a literal serial killer is still treating me like I’m precious even after I learned his secret and became a liability.

Like I’m who he rids the world of bad guys for.

“I… I-I’ll stay,” I tell him, as he presses his cheek into my hand to let me hold it like he held mine. Then he turns his head to kiss my palm. After a moment, he bends again to kiss my still damp cheek over my scar.

Maybe I haven’t completely come out of my shock yet, but after Trey leaves with the bags of body parts, and I’m alone, free, able to do or call whoever I want and just leave, I… I don’t. I undress down to my underwear and crawl into Trey’s bed.

I really am terrible at reading people, but better the devil you know? Better the killer who chooses his victims for the right reasons?

Or did I just let myself become damned too?