Page 9 of Requiem Of Him (Of Solace And Sin #1)

LEVI

‘Heartless’ Morgan Wallen

W hat I’d intended to be a couple days turned into a week, a blissful week of uninterrupted peace and quiet.

I thought it was going to drive me insane, but after the first two days I found myself sinking into a comfortable routine of being home.

I still got myself up and did everything I normally would anyway, but there was no pressure of going into work nearly every night, forcing myself to be on for every person who came into Fallout.

Jameson called a few times, but eventually he stopped after the fourth day of no contact.

I wanted to be left alone.

Isolated.

Wind blows through the Spanish moss trees surrounding my house, and it is the most peaceful I’ve felt in a while.

The rustling of the leaves as the trees shake soothe pieces of me that I thought healed a long time ago but were reopened by Cortland’s presence.

I didn’t expect old wounds to fester, weeping until their poison wormed their way through my mind again.

If I knew him as well as I once did, he wasn’t leaving without a fight, but he’d proven me wrong once before, and I hoped he would this time.

When I ran, I did it with the intention of never being found and I made my peace with the fact I would never lay eyes on the man who taught me how to love again, but he was also the one to teach me what heartbreak felt like.

It gutted me to leave him once, but forcing him to leave me this time might break me beyond repair.

I made my peace with being alone and he was here to unravel every bit of what I repaired along the way.

I walk back inside and drop my coffee mug in the sink for later.

I can’t help getting lost in the land in front of me as I stand in front of the sink.

I’d made sure the window I created for the kitchen looked out towards the open fields, hoping I’d eventually have something more to look at one day.

I didn’t let myself get caught up in the fantasy of what I could have if I really wanted to.

While I knew I could do it, I wasn’t sure that life was meant for me anymore.

Since being home, that fantasy felt closer than I wanted it to be—especially with Cortland wandering around Atlanta unchecked and with Alessio’s blessing. I shut it down before it even had a chance to take root.

A chirp pulls me out of my wayward thoughts, and I look down to see Rhydian, one of my Abyssinians, slowly making his way into the kitchen, eyes still half-mast from sleep. He sits at my feet and starts washing one of his delicate paws and then the other before looking up at me, blinking softly.

Rhydian and Spade couldn’t be happier, the little mooches.

They stuck close as always whenever I was home, but now they had my undivided attention, and I didn’t realize until now how much I missed them.

They were used to my routine and long hours, which I’m sure I’ll be hearing about when I go back to work, but for now I was here until I felt like going back, if I did.

Rhydian purrs as he twines between my legs before throwing himself on the floor and rolling onto his back, showing me his belly, like I would fall for that.

It was the oldest trick in the book with cats.

They’d bait you in with their cuteness and promises of innocence only to tear your skin off if you touched their soft, squishy bellies.

I knew better. Although, I was always tempted with Rhydian.

He normally didn’t ask for much affection like Spade demanded, but since being home this past week, he was insatiable, and I was more than happy to acquiesce.

But I still wasn’t touching that murder trap.

After satisfying his needs, I venture back to my bedroom and lean against the doorway, watching my regrets roll around in my sheets for longer than I should.

He is gorgeous, I’ll give him that. He also scratched an itch I couldn’t reach on my own, but now it was time for him to go.

Yeah, I don’t really regret him—I just don’t want to deal with this shit in the morning, when you have to sit back and watch someone get themselves together in the daylight and the frenzied high feeling of their skin against yours evaporated the night before.

“Thiago, get out.” I announce a little louder than necessary and rip the sheets off him. He scrambles a little too much for my liking, but at least he’s awake.

“Jesus, Reigns, some fucking decency.” He gripes as he sits up, his hard cock on display and making my mouth water.

Taking it a step further, I toss his clothes at him for good measure. “You weren’t concerned about decency last night, in fact what we did was anything but, and now it’s time for you to go.”

“How many times are we gonna do this before you let me—” He quiets when I tilt my head, arching my brow in his direction. Thiago knew the score, and this is why I didn’t do repeats—they got too comfortable.

“We’re not doing anything other than this.

” I gesture around the room like we’re in containment, like these four walls are the only place that would have us together in any capacity, although that isn’t true.

We see each other too often at meets, but what we do here is never going to make it out in the real world.

We call each other when we have an itch, and that’s it.

He scoffs, rolling his eyes like an indignant child when they don’t get their way. The only thing missing is him sucking his teeth and storming off to his room.

“Do as you’re told. This conversation isn’t going anywhere worthy of our time, and we both know it.” I slam the door, leaving him alone to get that through his thick skull.

I settle into my favorite chair in the corner of my living room, away from all the furniture that could give someone an opportunity to sit next to me, and wait for him to walk out.

Spade joins me, perching himself at my side and stretching his front legs along my thigh while Rhydian curls up at my feet like they’re waiting for the same thing, for us to be alone again.

It doesn’t take Thiago long before he emerges from my bedroom fully clothed and looking like he could spit nails.

He’s always been a surly fuck, but this seems like overkill.

He stalks over to me and before I have time to get out of reach, he grabs me by the throat and yanks me from my chair, making Spade hiss at him before slinking off to the bedroom.

I gain my balance enough to get my feet under me and stare up at him, waiting for him to get this little temper tantrum over with.

“You have a mouth on you that’s gonna get you into a world of hurtin’ one of these days.

” He rumbles before slanting his lips over mine and invading my mouth.

His tongue traces every soft tissue he can reach as if he’s trying to imprint himself, leaving a permanent reminder that he’d been there.

As much as I fight it, I groan, allowing myself to fall into his body for just a moment.

A single moment of comfort. His spicy scent mixed with the smell of us still on his skin is dizzying, intoxicating as it infiltrates my senses and subdues me to his advances.

The warmth of his skin seeping into the chilled, aching joints of each of my fingers that only gives the more I pull his hard body into mine.

Thiago’s words echo in my mind as he takes me apart, but it isn’t his voice whispering them in my ear. He wasn’t the first person to tell me that and surely wouldn’t be the last.

I do my level best to detach myself from him, to say something that would push him away from me even further.

The hold he has on me is more than I can bear.

At the crux of it all, he’s right. About too many things because he’s seen more than I’ve let anyone else see.

While Jameson and his family took me in with no questions, Thiago has always been the closest to me in a way that Cortland had been.

I can discount it in my mind and dress it up as much as I want, but a pig in makeup will always be a pig.

Just like Thiago would always be the “what if” and never the end all.

He could try to push for more than I could give him, but it would never end in us having the happily ever after he was so intent on us having.

He deserved more than the scraps left of me that still belonged to another man who would never claim them.

“Thi, we’re never going to be what you need us to be.

” I murmur against his lips between bone melting kisses.

I feel my soul shattering just a little more each time he pulls away before sinking back into me, sipping each breath from my lips until there’s little left for me to do but submit to his will.

“Keep pushing every person away, and you’ll end up alone, Levi.” He promises as he places kisses along my cheek bone while his hands tighten at the nape of my neck until I give into the pressure and let my head fall back, giving into him.

An abrupt banging on my front door forces Thiago to pull back and look down at me like I should know who it is, and I do. I knew he’d find me eventually. It was simply a matter of when.

“Time’s up, Woods.” I force a smile that even I know isn’t the least bit convincing to either one of us.

I take one last look at his beautiful face.

Even though I’d done a number on him, he was still one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen.

Thankfully the good doctor patched him up, and the scar should be no more than a faint silvery reminder of the mistakes we made.

I never apologized to anyone, but I felt a small amount of guilt for letting my emotions get the better of me when Thiago had lost his shit on me at the meet.

Although Dr. Godfrey wasn’t too happy with me for what I’d done to him, Thiago hadn’t held it against me.

The banging starts again and stops, and Thiago stares at the door for a moment then presses a softer kiss against my temple just as I realize why it stopped.

Cortland appears in the doorway of the kitchen, watching as Thiago slowly pulls away from me, his hands lingering on my waist longer than necessary.

Thi stiffens against me when it registers that someone is watching us and we are no longer alone.

His eyes snap to mine, anger filling his pale green irises, “Are you fucking serious? Him?”

“You should go. We’ll see each other around, yeah?” I take a step back, gnawing at my lip and avoiding his eyes. I’d never cared about the effects my actions had on anyone, but this time felt like I was cutting off a limb. We would never be the same after this.