Page 8 of Requiem Of Him (Of Solace And Sin #1)

A knock on my door has me grinding my molars, and I ignore it. I know it could be one of two people, and I don’t want to talk to either of them. Neither one of them had done anything wrong to even warrant me losing my shit, but I don’t want any part of their bullshit right now. I just want out.

“Levi. It’s me.” Nyx’s voice is not a welcome solace like mine is for him when I coddle him and treat him better than I do most people.

He really isn’t to blame, but he’s had something that I haven’t, and that cuts even deeper than anything else he could do.

It is his mere existence that has me ripping the door open and snapping at him.

“What do you want, Onyx?” I fume while looking down at him as he wrings his fingers until they look ready to pop out of their sockets. Jesus, this fucking kid. I turn away from him and go back to grabbing all the shit I need to finally take home, but his words stop me dead in my tracks.

“I just wanted to talk to you about the other night.”

Slowly, I peer over my shoulder, not saying a word, silently waiting for him to continue.

He clears his throat a couple times like the words are lodged in his dainty little throat.

God, I never hated the ground someone walked on more than I do in this moment, and he hasn’t done a damn thing.

The longer he takes to get his words out, the more time I take ripping him apart, nitpicking and cataloging every bit of him that makes him an inferior being.

He is the typical alternative twink who has men fawning over him, although that isn’t who he really is in the slightest. He seemed to adopt the style to hide from someone or something.

Not that it doesn’t suit him because it does, but it seems somewhat unnatural for someone as pretty as him to want to mar his flawless skin with tattoos and piercings that were similar to mine.

And while he may be pretty to look at, he is all man in the places that counted.

Places that I wasn’t. No matter how much money I’d thrown at Dr. Godfrey, there were things we couldn’t change and some that I wasn’t willing to.

She had done amazing work, but in this moment, it felt like we hadn’t done a damn thing.

Although it made no difference to the people I fucked, but it still felt like a kick in the teeth knowing that he had what Cortland was looking for and Nyx had fucked him.

Whether he remembered it or not, he had Cortland in a way that I didn’t, and it made me want to ruin his pretty fucking face.

A sniffle makes me turn to face him. His eyes line with unshed tears, glassy and red. His lip trembles when he looks at me, for what I don’t know, maybe sympathy, but there’s nothing for me to give him right now that could make him feel better.

“Listen, we’ve all been there. No one is judging you for choices you made.” Even as I say those words, meaning every one of them, I can’t keep the malice I feel for him out of my cadence. I meant it when I said no one is judging him, but he needs to live with the choices he made.

I just won’t absolve him.

“I don’t know what happened, and I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure it out for the past few days, but I can’t grasp onto a single moment. There are flashes here and there, but I can’t put any of them together.”

“There isn’t much I can give you that will help you, Onyx.

We picked you up after you called us, I’m assuming before anything happened, but you know who you were with and what you invited into your life when you chose to ignore both Jameson and me after we warned you not to get involved with him.

” I lean back against my desk with my arms crossed over my chest while he fiddles with the straps of leather cutting into the skin of his waist. I watch as he becomes increasingly more uncomfortable in my presence.

A normal person would jump at the opportunity to put someone out of their misery, but I couldn’t help loving the way people look when they start to squirm and being the reason for it.

“Did I do something to make you hate me, Levi?” His question worms its way into my heart, nestling itself in the deep recesses of what’s left of it. I almost feel bad that he has to ask.

I shrug, looking him dead in the eye, “Not sure what gave you that impression.”

“I mean, something has clearly changed between us. You won’t even give me the time of day, and you haven’t since then, so it had to have been something I did or said that night.

What could I have done that was so terrible that the person I was beginning to think was my friend, my first real friend since coming here, would turn their back on me so quickly and without explanation?

” There’s that backbone I was looking for.

I chuckle to myself, but it makes him scoff.

He thinks I’m laughing at his expense and while it is partially true, I am laughing at him, I’m more so laughing at myself for letting this kid get close to me when he should have steered clear of me.

I was never the nice guy who had friends, yet here he was.

I did start to consider him a friend as well, and maybe that’s why all this hurts more than it should, whether he understands why I’m punishing him or not.

He had become my friend. But even Jameson doesn’t know about my life before Atlanta, and I wasn’t about to give Onyx that either.

That part of my life was meant to stay buried. Cortland could stay there too, six feet under with the rest of the bayou.

“We’re good, Nyx. If that’s all, I really need to finish up here.” I wave my hand in front of me where all of my shit is strewn across my desk and chairs in front of it.

Concern eats away at the apprehension as he looks down at my belongings then back up at me like he’s trying to do an overcomplicated math problem that has too many letters involved for anyone’s comfort.

“Wait, why are you leaving? The night isn’t even halfway over yet.

” He starts babbling about how I can’t leave when I notice Cortland leaning against the doorframe, waiting for his turn.

“Levi, you can’t seriously be leaving. We need you here.

Jameson hasn’t even finalized everything for the event with Pbr. ”

“I might be able to assist with that.” Cortland offers, ever the fucking saint.

Of course, he would be involved with the Pbr event.

To my knowledge, he still rides, and his father supplied the best bulls for the organization, but I don’t know what kind of shape he was in now that he was in his thirties or if he was circuit ready. He damn sure looks like it.

“And who are you exactly? Is there a reason you’re coming into my office uninvited?” I ask, mainly for show with Nyx still in the room, but I would also like to hear what he has to say.

“You left so abruptly that I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself or ask you if you would like to join me for a drink back at my hotel.” That shut Nyx up, and myself if I’m being honest.

“Well, you can make an appointment to speak with Jameson, the club owner, and settle everything for the event. If you’ll excuse me, I have an obligation that I need to attend to.” When the hell did I get so proper?

“I’d be more than happy to walk you out, Levi. That is your name, right?” This fucker.

I roll my eyes as I stuff my last few things in my backpack before shrugging on my leather jacket and picking up my helmet to set it on my desk. I wanted nothing more than to throttle him, but appearances and all that.

“Right. Again, who are you? You seem a little too eager for someone who just got here.”

Nyx watches our exchange, his eyes ping-ponging back and forth between us like he isn’t sure he should be here but also who the hell he should be looking at.

“Oh, Levi, I’ve been here for a long time. Longer than I’m sure you want me to admit.” He rumbles, trying to goad me.

I scoff as I hike my backpack onto my shoulders and grab my helmet, then I round my desk and stop in front of him on my way out, bringing us chest to chest. I finally allowed myself to really look at him for the first time since seeing him in Alessio’s house, really look at him.

I tip my head back the slightest bit to get a full view of him underneath the brim of that black cowboy hat I love so much and aim my best grin at him before shutting him down.

“Well, if that’s the case, I’m sure you have enough patience in you to wait to speak with Jameson rather than me. After all, I’m just the bartender.”

I weave through the bodies of clients and dancers, heading for the employee elevator and leaving Cortland and Nyx to entertain themselves.

I punch in my code once the doors open and just as the doors nearly seal me inside, a hand shoots between the doors, forcing them to open again.

I really can’t fucking win. A black cowboy hat comes into view as the doors open, and I curse under my breath when he closes the distance between us.

Cortland winks as he backs me into the corner, my helmet knocking against the metal wall behind me.

“Don’t you fucking dar—” My protest is cut off by his lips covering mine.

His hand comes up to clasp my throat, squeezing just enough to keep me in place as he invades my mouth, his tongue swirling around the barbell pierced through my own before tugging sharply.

He pulls the emergency stop button, the ringing ricocheting off the walls and bringing me back to earth.

I shove him back, caging him against the wall and my knee connects with his balls.

His skull bounces off the metal wall as he throws his head back in pain, making me laugh.

I grab his jaw, forcing him to look at me when I give him one more warning, “Don’t fucking touch me, Cortland. I said it once, and I really don’t like repeating myself, you do not belong here. I do not want you here, and if you come near me again, I’ll kill you.”