Page 19 of Requiem Of Him (Of Solace And Sin #1)

LEVI

‘Running Up That Hill’ Placebo

I was stupid, so fucking na?ve like I’d always been. It wasn’t as if I didn’t understand the severity or believed there was a shot in hell for this to work. He’s married.

I’d slept with a married man and now his wife’s name is popping up on his phone repeatedly.

“Levi, it’s not what you think.” Words that had been said to so many men while the man they were fucking had a wife and family at home, waiting for them to come back to them.

I ignore Cortland, disappearing into my closet and throwing on any clothes I can get my hands on before storming out of my bedroom. My heart pounds, stomach in my throat while he calls out for me to come back, to hear him out, but I can’t hear his voice over the static buzzing in my head.

He follows me through the house, grabbing my arm to stop me, only for me to shake him off. I swipe my bike keys on my way out the door, tears welling in my eyes.

I was so fucking stupid.

Without giving him another thought, I throw my leg over the body of my bike, the seat soothing my nerves, and my breathing slows. The sky opens up as I turn over the ignition, the cold start drowns his booming voice that echoes around me, closing in on me.

I drop my bike into gear, letting out the clutch and cranking the throttle.

As I look in my side mirror, I can see him yelling for me, phone to his ear.

I turned back for a moment, watching as he ripped open the driver’s side door of his truck.

I exhale, turning back around and pulling onto the stretch of road in front of my house, dropping another gear and gunning it, putting as much distance between us as I can manage before he comes after me.

Rain pelts my skin, ripping at my exposed forearms and chest. Wind whips through my soaked shirt, chilling me to the bone, but I don’t care.

My chest heaves as I take the fresh air into my lungs, my nose filling with carbon and the smell of gasoline.

Green flashes around me, the trees and fields blurring into one while I take each breath, hoping to purge myself of him one last time, knowing damn well it would never be possible.

Each twist and turn through the backroads felt like a knife twisting deeper while I bled out for him. It was always me that ended up fucked, always ended up with the shit cards and as much as I run, it never goes away.

I don’t know what I thought was going to happen this time, letting him back in and believing him, believing for a second that I was allowed to have what I wanted when it would never work out that way.

Loving him had almost cost me my life before, and it still taxed me every day.

Cortland had been given everything he wanted, but he wanted more, too much more.

He was messing with my head. Every touch, every look, every hushed promise he thought I didn’t hear, all of it flashed through my mind as I took each tight turn through winding roads I typically avoided.

The headlights of a truck flash in my side mirror, catching me off guard for a moment. Fucking asshole. I shake my head, returning my eyes to the road, but I’m a second too late—it was a rookie mistake.

Distraction allows my nerves to fray and accidental fixation on what was in front of me takes over too quickly.

There is no place for anxiety when you could be seconds away from death.

A single miscalculation, a moment of doubt would only result in leaving in a body bag.

Hesitation was a silent killer; it bred a lack of control.

I knew it better than anyone, it had left my skin black and blue, splitting under the weight of hands meant to keep me safe, meant to nurture.

I don’t panic when I feel my bike start to slide out from under me like I would have expected.

I allow it to happen, giving myself over to whatever comes next.

As my skin meets the slick pavement, fire scorches every inch of my body.

The ligaments and bones of my wrist scream in agony while I try to catch myself.

My skull cracks against the pavement, fracturing my vision into stars, but a sense of calm washes over me.

It’s strange. Any time I’d imagined this moment, I had been terrified.

Friends had gone down in front of me, and it was paralyzing.

But I feel free. There is a serenity in it that I have never experienced before.

My eyes sink closed, warmth greeting me, and I let go.

I should have waited. If I had just waited, if I had let him speak for just a moment, I wouldn’t be here.

I am in and out of consciousness as someone pulls over on the shoulder, gravel crunching under their tires. Their door slams, making my head scream, and they slowly round the front of their vehicle.

“Yes, it just happened. She went down on one of the turns,” they say, their voice flat, almost clinical. I don’t try to open my eyes as they crouch down in front of my body. Their hands are all over me, cataloguing, mapping out my injuries and relaying them to someone.

“No need. Her injuries will likely take care of it for us,” they muse, delight tinging their voice for a moment before continuing, “No one will find her in time. It’s done.” A click brings me back to consciousness, but I relax under their skillful hands.

“You made this messier than it ever needed to be, Aubrey. Why couldn’t you just let us do this humanely, hmm? You always had to make life more difficult, didn’t you?” A new voice reverberates through my mind, penetrating the soft tissue. The familiarity of it sends ice through my veins.

A set of hands rips open the button of my jeans and yanks them down, the sound of the material splitting brought tears to my eyes.

They bullied their way between my legs, shoving them apart as I tried to pull away, but their grip forced my body to stop fighting.

Gravel digs into the back of my thighs and ass as they manipulate my body the way they want until I give up.

An acidic stench assaults my senses, their breath wafting over my face as they speak, “You always were a pretty thing, show pony.”

The sound of metal teeth unzipping and the unbuckling of belts set my teeth on edge while I force myself to endure the calloused hands searing into my flesh like a branding iron.

My jaw unhinges on a silent scream as my mind fractures, pain lancing through my core.

Sudden weight crushes my larynx, forcing my eyes open at the shock of pain, but blackness welcomes me like an old friend.

“Tell me something, Bree. Do you think Cortland would want what’s left of you when we’re through with you?

” One asked, ripping through soft tissue and setting me on fire.

The more I struggle against the hands that held me down, sinister laughter echoes through the still air. “It’s a pity you’ll never find out.”

The End…for now ;)