Page 7 of Requiem Of Him (Of Solace And Sin #1)

LEVI

‘The Machine — Slowed’ Reed Wonder, Aurora Olivas

A few days passed since I saw Cortland walk away from me, and I thought I’d have been more used to it by now after watching him do it my whole life, but it created a different sensation when he did it intentionally like he had the other night.

I’d also assumed he had gone back to his wife after that, and by God I wished he had.

But no, he’s sitting across from me at my bar, sipping my whiskey without a care in the world.

Like we were old friends when we were anything but.

I’d thought about banning him from Fallout many times over the years, but again, it would raise too many questions.

Cortland has made it very clear who he was here for. And everyone seemed to notice.

“Don’t look so glum, Levi. He’s hot as fuck, and he’s clearly here for you,” one of my coworkers said.

“Who pissed in your corn flakes this morning, Vi?” Fucking not Cortland, or I might’ve been happier.

It’s starting to pluck my last nerve watching everyone fall all over him, and who could blame them?

I mean, seriously. He was like watching all your cowboy and southern gentleman fantasies jump off the pages of the latest trashy romance novel that everyone gushed about.

He was the fantasy. Although to him, it was just his life, and it used to be mine too, no matter how many times I try to forget it.

“When are you returning home to your wife?” I ask, raising my voice just loud enough for my coworkers to do a double take.

His eyes flash to mine, and he cocks an eyebrow, goading me, but I don’t bother.

At least some of the girls have the decency to look guilty for the way they’d been laying all over him.

While most of them were dancers, the stereotype of dancers not caring if you have a wife and kids at home did not apply to them.

I was used to seeing him get dances while he was here, but this was different.

He’d come in here without wearing that Godforsaken wedding ring like he had many times before, but this time I knew, and I could see the tan line.

It was a slap in the face every time I saw it now, and it had become impossible to ignore.

“When I get what I came for.” I wasn’t expecting an answer, but my body relaxes a bit at his words, although I have no clue what he means—his voice just has that effect on me. Whether he meant me or business, I didn’t care.

Ignoring him, I go back to wiping down the already clean bar and lose myself in the music.

His eyes never leave me. Not when I’m talking to clients as they come by before leaving for the night.

Not as each waitress comes to place an order for a table.

Not while I’m mixing drinks and closing tabs.

But when someone gets a little too comfortable in their drunkenness, his eyes sharpen on them waiting for them to overstep.

Like a goddamn reaper. People eye him warily each time he shifts closer to me, but he remains in his seat silently while he nurses his whiskey.

Nyx meanders over before his set and boldly strikes up a conversation with Cort like he wasn’t just trapped in a dungeon with the man.

Dungeon might be dramatic, but for all intents and purposes that is what Alessio created for his little toys.

I keep my distance, sneaking glances in their direction while still taking care of the few tabs that trickle in.

It shouldn’t bother me, but it does anyway.

Nyx is beautiful whether he’s clad in skimpy leather like he is now or falling all over himself because he’s in too deep.

Cort continues giving him his undivided attention like I don’t exist, and something nasty sinks into my bones when he laces his fingers through Nyx’s.

His thumb softly caresses the back of his hand, and Nyx blushes at his words—words I can’t fucking hear, but if I had to guess they were ones I’d heard before.

It goes on for a few minutes before it hits me square in the chest.

Nyx doesn’t remember.

I should feel bad for him, really, I know I should, but I can’t find it in me to care.

Nyx chose to take on Alessio as a client, knowing what he might endure and if he doesn’t want to be roofied for other people’s amusement for the night, Nyx, himself, is the only one who can change the rules.

While Alessio will take advantage of every inch someone gives him, he wouldn’t if they told him no. Except for Jameson.

It’s not that I would wish Alessio’s attention upon anyone, Nyx included, but we warned him.

Jameson explicitly told him to stay away from Alessio, and while Jameson has his own reason, I do too.

Nyx is too good for this place, and he’s too good to be Alessio’s newest toy.

What arrangement they had, we don’t know, but it’s never a topic of conversation.

Not for me and Jameson, and surely not between him and Nyx.

It had been a few days since we picked up Nyx from Alessio’s, and Jameson was nowhere to be found.

Unlike Cortland, who won’t leave me alone and has been sitting at my bar every night, intentionally goading me, since he realized who I was.

As much as I acted like I didn’t want him around, I’m not ready for him to go home either.

Not when I knew he’d be going back home to a woman who he’d married and had a little family with this entire time while I’d been alone.

Deep down I knew I wasn’t alone, but no one filled the void he’d left inside of me and hell I tried.

I heard what people said about me, and I didn’t correct them.

As I watched Nyx’s finger trace the brim of Cortland’s hat, I could conjure up the bodies who’d tried to comfort me over the years just as sure as anything.

I never knew them outside of what they could do to my body and what I could do to theirs, and that’s what we’d agreed upon.

Sure, there had been a few here and there who I knew in my day-to-day life, but I quickly realized that I was better off not getting involved with someone who wanted more from me than I could offer.

Cortland would be disgusted if he knew what and who I’d been fucking while he was playing house.

Nyx smiled at something else Cortland said and tried to appear demure or whatever the hell he was doing with his face when he wanted someone to take him up on the offer for a private room. Shy. Demure. Innocent. Doe-eyed.

Things I wasn’t and would never be. I wasn’t so insecure that I would ever mold myself into something I would never be, but seeing them like that, how easily they could just be, made me feel like I was never what Cortland truly wanted, and a pretty, little wife would always be his first choice.

As if he knew I was thinking of him, he looked me dead in the eyes over Nyx’s shoulder.

He gave me one of his winning smiles that I’d only seen a handful of times, and those smiles threatened to stop my heart every time.

Of course, it could be played off like he was smiling at something stupid Nyx had said to him, but I know that smile is all for me, from the crow’s feet crinkling around his eyes to the way that blinding smile fades into smugness before he winks and takes a swig of his whiskey.

The music switches over from one of the girls’ sets coming to an end, and the moment I hear the first notes of SG Lewis’ song “Warm,” it feels like all the air in my lungs evaporates like fresh rain beating down in the bayou under the scorching sun.

The sensuous beat lulls through the humid suffocating atmosphere of pheromones and body heat mixed with the scent of stale alcohol and citrus wafting up my nostrils.

I need to get out of here. I can’t listen to this song on my best day, but hearing it while he has eyes on me, while we are breathing the same air feels like a cruelty even I can’t withstand.

I wave down Blaise before I think better of it.

Confusion dances in his eyes when he notices my antsy demeanor but without questioning it, he tells the client across from him to hold on for a moment before making his way over to me like he would any other day.

I appreciate him not making a scene by rushing over, though I wish he would for just a moment get some urgency in his step, but that just isn’t who Blaise was.

He moves to the beat of his own drum and is never in a rush for anyone.

“I need you to take the rest of my shift tonight and for the next couple of days.” I rush out as soon as he is in ear shot. He arches a brow and begins opening his mouth to say something but thinks better of it.

“Are we good?” He asks, glancing over his shoulder to look at Cortland and Nyx before looking back at me. He knows something’s up but still, he doesn’t pry.

I nod even though we both know damn well I’m lying through my teeth. “Yeah, I just need a couple days to myself. Personal reasons.”

“Vi, I know we don’t—” I cut him off before he can get the rest of his words out with a wave of my hand.

“You’re right, we don’t. And we’re not starting now. We’re good. I need a couple days. If you need anything, call Jameson.”

I hand over my keycard to the POS system and my keys to the club and clap him on the shoulder before making my way to my office.

I rarely use it for more than dumping my shit before starting my shift.

I don’t like being confined to my desk when I can be on the floor with everyone else.

Jameson had given me an office for his own reasons, and while I appreciated what he was trying to do by making me feel more important than necessary, I didn’t want or need it.