Page 3

Yelena

Gray tendrils of fog swirl around the trees, giving the grounds an eerie feeling. A storm is coming in, I can feel it. My wolf is anxious—desperate to run before we get trapped inside for another long weekend.

I look outside again and try to decide what to do. If I shift now, I could maybe get a short run in before dark, but it would be cutting it close. Too close.

Austin recently decreed that it was no longer safe or prudent for me to run after dark alone. The incursions onto our territory from the Highland Pack have been increasing, and as the future Nightwing Luna, I could be considered a valuable target.

Besides, a part of me thought his singling me out like that was evidence that he cared. His concern for my safety was welcome. Would he protect me like this if he truly hated me?

Lately, I’m not so sure anymore. Last time I went, I had to go find the guards to run with me and I overheard them talking among themselves.

It took me several minutes of listening to them talk about “Austin’s baggage” to realize that they were talking about me. I was mortified. Baggage? I’m supposed to be his future Luna. Not his obligation.

My heart was crushed. After that night, I've never asked to run after dark again. If I were to take a guard with me tonight, it would require them to miss the bonfire.

Another opportunity for them to hate me. Another thing to make me less than in their eyes.

When we moved in together six months ago, I thought it was going to be a fresh start for us.

A chance to really get to know each other.

After all, we’ve been intended for more than a third of our lives now.

I had just turned twenty and Austin had just turned twenty-two.

I thought we were ready. But so far, that hasn’t been the case.

I rarely see him, and when I do, our interactions feel stiff or formal.

I sigh and shake my head. The last thing I want to do is appear needy or be the cause of resentment in this pack. One day, I will be Luna and I need to show that I will be supportive of my mate and create harmony within this pack. Not cause trouble.

My wolf whines, and I push her down, promising her a run tomorrow during the day. It’s disappointing, but this is the way it has to be.

If I’m being honest, a part of me is starting to resent the way I’ve had to give of myself, over and over, without any acknowledgment or reward. But I push those thoughts down too. No good can come of thinking like that.

None.

I am safe. I have a purpose. An intended mate. Many women would kill to have that. I should be grateful.

Yet, the little voice in the back of my head pushes me, challenging m e. Don’t you deserve a mate who loves you with the same ferocity that you love him? Isn’t that something you should aspire to, too?

I’m saved from the mental anguish of answering that question for myself when Barbara, one of the kitchen staff members, knocks on my front door, carrying a plate of food. It smells divine and my stomach growls in anticipation.

Her sweet little granddaughter, Hannah, follows right behind her, giving me a shy wave when she sees me.

I’ve always loved children, and Hannah is a bright spot in my life.

With her raven black hair and her bright blue eyes, she’s striking.

Her parents were killed in one of the battles we had with Highland a few years ago.

Barbara took her in and, even with all the trauma the young girl has experienced, she’s been thriving as part of the Nightwing Pack.

“Bonfire tonight, girlie. Make sure there are fresh bandages for the young bucks. You know how they like to show off for the girls,” Barbara says, with an eye roll.

I laugh and gesture toward my small bag sitting next to the door. Burns is one of the few things that I can reliably heal faster than the shifter’s natural abilities. I’ve spent several hours in the kitchen whipping up a tincture of herbs that can be sprayed directly on the burns to heal them.

“All set!” I tell her, tasting a bite of the chicken. It practically melts in my mouth. “Hopefully, we have fewer burns tonight. I don’t know why they think that fire won’t be hot each time we do this.”

Barbara barks out a laugh and busies herself with gathering my laundry. “When you get to be my age, you’ll realize that they never learn, girlie. Especially when there are pretty girls to impress and a full moon.”

I take another bite of my food and think about that. I’ve been promised to Austin for most of my life. I’ve been off-limits to all the other young men our age for years.

What would it feel like, though, to have the young men competing for my attention? To sit with my friends on a log and watch as they goofed off and proved their bravery in hopes of winning me?

What would it be like to have friends? To have someone I can turn to, to be able to process all of my feelings with? I’ve never had that.

My mood sours and I push the food away, no longer hungry. Barbara’s sharp eyes don’t miss my movements and she comes to sit next to me.

Her kind, motherly face is twisted in concern when she gazes at me. “You’re too pale, Yelena. Are you eating enough? Resting? You need your strength.”

I nod, embarrassed by her concern, and pick at the food I was given. Honestly, I’m so used to being ignored that any positive attention feels foreign and uncomfortable. Like an itchy sweater over my skin—I can’t quite make it comfortable enough to work.

“Come on, ‘Lena, why don’t you come down to the fire tonight? You haven’t come to one in ages!” Hannah begs, pulling on my hand. “I’m going to dance tonight with the big girls! Jessie said I could!”

I smile down at the younger girl and crouch to her level. Her big eyes are so kind. She's a sweetheart, one of the few pack members who regularly speaks to me as if I’m a person, not a title or a burden.

“I’ll be there, sweetheart,” I reassure her, “Just in the back, making sure everyone is being safe. I’ll still be able to see you dance, though.”

She nods thoughtfully. “Why don’t you sit with Austin? He has a front-row seat!”

Barbara opens her mouth to save me, but I wave her off. “Austin is super important, isn’t he?” I begin, giving Hannah a little smile. “He’s got so many people that want to sit next to him and I get to live with him. It would be nicer for me to let others have that chance at the bonfire, right?”

She brightens and nods. “You’re a good sharer!” she says happily. I give her a pained smile and don’t reply.

The sweet girl has no idea.

“Let’s let Yelena get ready, sweet girl,” Barbara says, hustling Hannah toward the door. “You’ll get a chance to say hi to her tonight!”

I give them both a wave and then fall back onto my bed. My plate is only half eaten, but I can’t stomach the idea of finishing it.

If the children are noticing that Austin and I never spend any time together, even at formal appearances, what are the adults saying? My cheeks burn with embarrassment. Maybe everyone in the pack knows he’s repulsed by me. Maybe they spend their time talking about it.

A part of me wants to go find Austin, ask him if we can sit together tonight, but I already know what he’ll say and my heart can’t handle another rejection so soon after the last one.

***

I hug my worn flannel shirt to my body closer, fighting off the chill in the air.

The weather has cleared up enough that it’s actually a perfect fall night for a bonfire.

The energy is high and even from a distance, I can feel my spirits rise a little bit.

Playful shouts, laughter, and even the occasional joyful howl rip through the air.

These moments are what I love about pack life. When everyone gets together for the sole purpose of being together. Wolves are social creatures and we need our pack. It’s part of our DNA.

“You could join them, you know. You have just as much right to be here as they do. Even more, given that you are our future Luna,” a voice says softly to my right.

I smile and turn to face Calliope, our pack Seer. She may be old enough to be my great-grandmother, but she’s more spry than most in our pack and she’s the closest thing to family that I have here. I take a few steps to my right and give her a quick hug.

“It’s better if I stay back here,” I murmur, watching as the young pups frolic. “Austin…”

I stop and remind myself to keep my decorum. Calliope serves as a surrogate grandmother to me, but she doesn’t need to know how bad it is between Austin and I. If she’s a Seer, she probably already knows.

“Austin has accepted you as his future Luna. If he is mistreating you, that should be brought up to Council or to our Alpha,” she says firmly, turning my face to look me in the eye.

I meet her gaze head on and she grins. Few people make eye contact with her because she’s a Seer. There are so many rumors about her abilities—even I don’t know the full extent of them. But I do know that I’m not scared of her.

“There’s no need to involve the Council, Callie,” I whisper softly. “And certainly not Alpha Malaki. I’m just whining. I’ve felt more alone than usual of late.”

Her expression softens and she pulls me into another hug. “Come, child. You can sit next to me instead.”

I resist, but only for a moment. Arm and arm, I walk toward the logs that are set around the fire. I can feel the stares as I get closer, the whisper of comments, but with Callie by my side, I try my best to rise above it.

“Hold your head up high, girl. You’re going to be the mate of their future leader,” Callie says under her breath, squeezing my arm encouragingly.

I try. I really do. But the weight of the stares feels suffocating. A rumble from the attendees makes me turn around, just in time to see Austin walk in, surrounded by his inner circle. It’s been three weeks since our disastrous encounter in the healing room, and I’ve barely seen him.

I look him over and smile softly when I see that he appears to be fully recovered.