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Because no matter how many times I tell myself it doesn't matter if he accepts me or not, or reassure myself that my place is by his side, now and always, I always hold out hope that someday he might see me as more than just a duty.

Moon Goddess, why have you mated me to someone who hates me?

I take a shuddering breath as I lean against the bathroom door, the icy sting of rejection burning through me. My hands tremble as I press them to my chest. It’s one thing that he keeps me at arm’s distance among the pack, but this time, his rejection feels more personal than usual.

To reject my touch and not even allow me to tend to him cuts deeper than anything else ever has before. All I want is to care for him. To love him. To show him that I am worthy by using the few gifts, I have to ease his suffering.

Instead, he’d rather be in pain than have me touch him.

Am I that repulsive to him? Am I so horrible as a mate that he'd rather endure a night of white-hot pain and suffering than my touch?

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to quell the fresh onslaught of tears.

You are the future Luna of the Nightwing Pack, Yelena. You must pull yourself together.

Even if Austin won’t let me tend to him, there could be others from the same attack who need help

I cannot let my personal hurt feelings prevent me from realizing my duty to my pack.

With a deep breath, I reach one shaking hand up to smooth my hair and straighten my sweater. A peek in the mirror shows dark purple bags under my eyes and tear stains on my cheeks. I splash more water on my face and try to put on a brave face.

It’s time to go to work.

Leaving Austin and not being the one to take care of him feels like torture.

Every step I take away from him feels heavy, like stepping through mud.

My heart aches and my instincts scream at me to go to him, to beg or do whatever it takes to be allowed to stay and be the one to tend to him.

What if his injury had been worse? What if they hadn’t got here in time?

So many different scenarios could have resulted in Austin dying today.

My place is by his side…or at least, it’s supposed to be.

But he doesn’t want me. He went so far as to order me not to touch him in front of his men. As much as it breaks my heart, I have no choice but to obey.

I force my feet to move in the direction of my front porch toward the courtyard, where more of his men are gathered.

“Do we have any more significant injuries?” I ask Vincent, one of Austin’s closest friends.

Vincent looks at me kindly and directs me toward a small group of males in the corner, including one who is laid out on a stretcher.

“Can you please bring me three rolls of bandage and the healing tonic?” I ask the group of shifters standing next to the door.

One of them nods and hurries over to the Healer’s bungalow. My eyes track him until he disappears from view. He’ll be close to Austin. He could potentially check on him. The idea forces jealousy to burn through me, quick and hot.

One day, I will find a way to melt the ice around Austin’s heart. But, until then, I will have to hold on to the hope that the Moon Goddess does not make mistakes.

It’s past breakfast time by the time the last of the injured pack members have been treated and released back to their families. Dried blood stains my sleeves and my nose burns from the constant use of the healing tonic and antiseptic.

Exhausted, I trudge toward the Healer’s bungalow to check on Austin. I know he doesn’t want me to touch him, but I have to know if he’s okay and his injuries are on the mend. Jason is waiting outside the door.

“The Luna is with him now,” he tells me gruffly. I nod my head respectfully.

“The salve is working. The bleeding has slowed, and the senior healers have checked him,” he adds.

I’m grateful that he seems to know exactly what information I need.

As much as I would love to see Austin myself, his time with the Luna is more important.

Satisfied that his healing is well underway, I make my way back to my cottage.

A few of the guards nod to me respectfully, but most ignore me.

They take their cue from Austin as the leader of the guard and future Alpha. He ignores me, so they do too.

As a woman, I often feel like I’m invisible unless I’m needed. Usually, it doesn’t bother me much. But the sting of Austin’s rejection burns in my mind.

I simply don’t know how to get through to him. I have tried so hard to melt even an inch of the impenetrable ice wall he has built around himself. But, since the moment we both accepted our destiny, he has viewed me with nothing but disdain, distrust, and even disgust.

Even thinking of that day brings tears to my eyes.

It was a bright, summery afternoon, and we had been playing in the high meadow in our shifted forms. His wolf and mine have always had been kindred spirits. They knew before we did, I think.

The Alpha and the Seer sat us both down and told us what the Moon Goddess had revealed to them.

I couldn’t believe my ears.

I, Yelena Mycroft, was destined to be the Luna? Destined to be Austin’s mate? Someone pinch me. It’s like my wildest dreams just came true.

It was incredible. The flood of elation that swept through my body made me feel like I’d just run through the meadow at top speed. I felt like I was flying.

I believed, in that moment, that the Moon Goddess had truly blessed me. Not only would I have a Fated Mate, but I would have one that I could serve with happily. A partner that I could truly love.

A partner that I had already loved, for so many years, only from afar.

To me, Austin represents everything that I’ve ever wanted.

He’s the whole package: ruggedly handsome, strong, intelligent, well-mannered, and loyal.

But more than that, he’s charming. The guy who always has time to play with the kids after supper or sit with the elders and visit.

The first one to volunteer to help when one of our packmates needs it.

I imagined so many things during those early days. The beautiful, naive dreams of a lovesick pup.

I expected him to love me back. To return my feelings. I imagined us leading the pack, side-by-side, as a team. Dreamed of the day when we would start a family together.

Nothing could have prepared me for the depth of his coldness toward me. It was like his mood toward me changed overnight. In public, he stiffly acknowledged me as his future mate, but as soon as we were alone, he gave me nothing but icy glares and the silent treatment.

I became his intended mate and his enemy overnight. And I’ve spent the last eight years trying to fix it. I had hoped that we would have moved past this by now.

There have been a few times over the years where I’ve had hope. Little moments when his eyes would soften ever so slightly when he looked at me, or he would ask me about my day while passing me in the hall.

Those few precious moments are ones I keep locked away in my heart. Proof that there was a spark once—and maybe could be again.

But each time I try to rekindle it, he slams his guard up again, leaving me with nothing.

We’re almost never alone together. Physical contact between us is non-existent.

Interaction is reserved for public appearances with the pack only, and even then, it’s minimal.

Polite indifference and respect as the future Luna—nothing more, nothing less.

How can two destined mates be so at odds with each other? What did I do to make him feel this way?

I’ve been patient. Change takes time, I know that. But today’s rejection was the harshest yet. I have no one else to turn to except the Moon Goddess herself.

I close my eyes and envision the full moon in all her glory. She’s the silvery light that shines down on the woods and the meadow, bathing us in her radiance.

Moon Goddess, I don’t know your reasons, but I trust in your wisdom. Austin is breaking my heart. Help me be what he needs, please.

I yawn and move toward my bed. There’s enough time for a small nap if I hurry. But I can’t stop thinking about him. His pain. I know the healers will have returned and checked on him. By all accounts, he will be fine. Yet, I feel compelled to help him and give him what I can to ease his discomfort.

My wolf won’t allow us to rest while he’s still suffering pain.

Chin up, shoulders back, I head over to the kitchen.

Austin needs me, whether he admits it or not.

My pantry has most of what I need, and I quickly whip up the healing salve. When we were kids, Austin used to love stealing oranges from the kitchen, so I quickly grab one and zest some of the peel into the salve.

The orange isn’t essential, but I hope the smell is soothing to him.

Finally ready, I make my way to his room on the opposite side of the cottage. We live together, but he always avoids me in the house. My hands tremble slightly as I knock. I didn’t hear him come in, but his room has a door to the back patio, so it’s possible he could have come in quietly.

I’m met with silence.

I knock again, louder. But, nothing. I’m left with a dilemma. If I step within his quarters, he will know I was there and in his private sanctuary.

But if I just leave…I look down at the salve in my hand. He may need it.

My heart tells me to enter, so I hesitantly turn the handle and open the door. The room is empty. I sigh with relief. He should still be resting in the healing room.

I carefully place the tin of salve on his dresser, along with a note about how to use it, before I hurry out, though he will know I have come.

However difficult the road ahead, I will stay strong. For I am the future Luna of this pack, and I will prove my worth.