Page 16

Austin

The courtyard is busy with members of the pack setting up for the Farewell Rite. I scan the crowd, looking for Yelena.

My mother told me she stayed the night at Callie’s house last night and insisted on being part of the preparations. But I would have thought she’d have come out and joined the rest of the pack by now.

“You’d think she’d at least make an effort to dress up for the Farewell Rite. Showing up here looking like trash was a choice, ” Sylvie sniffs, running her hand over the skirt of her dress.

I glance over at her and frown.

She rolls her eyes. “Oh, you really think she looked good? There were holes in her jeans, Austin. She showed up here after how long and she didn’t even have the respect to dress well? Honestly, I don’t know what you ever saw in her. Good thing you upgraded!”

She leans in to press her lips to my cheek, but I turn away. The way she’s talking about Yelena and her clothing from yesterday rankles with me.

“What?” she asks, pouting. “It’s true.”

“You’re being rude,” I say firmly. “Yelena’s here to mourn. What she’s wearing doesn’t fuck matter.”

Sylvie narrows her eyes and crosses her arms. “Why are you defending her? She left you.”

“My former relationship with Yelena is none of your concern. That was in the past. What matters is that she is still a part of our pack. Even though she left, this is still her home. You will treat her with respect.”

Sylvie gasps and looks at me with shock. “Austin…”

I hold up my hand and stop her. “I don’t want to hear another word. Go make yourself useful. It looks like they need help set up the food tables.”

“I am Alpha-born . Do you understand that?” she sneers, “They serve me. Not the other way around.” Her eyes flash and I feel my irritation grow.

“You may be Alpha-born, Sylvie, but I’m the future Alpha of this pack. You will do as I ask, or you can leave and not be part of this ceremony. Tell me what your choice is. Now. ” I snarl back.

She glares at me, and we’re locked in a tense standoff. Finally, she looks down.

“I don’t need to take this kind of disrespect,” she hisses. “You can be sure my father will hear about this and the shameful way you’re treating me.”

She flounces off, and I sigh, rubbing my eyes.

Great. Another problem. Just what I need.

I think back to when Yelena was by my side.

Situations like this would never have happened.

Yelena was nothing but kind to any member of our pack or visitors.

She had a sort of grace about her, an air of helpfulness and hospitality that made her the perfect choice for a future Luna.

I sigh and close my eyes, willing my thoughts down a less dangerous path.

Whether I like it or not, I’m not with Yelena. I’m with Sylvie. The relationship is…complicated, but the peace we’ve achieved with the Highland Pack depends on it.

It’s simple enough: I marry Sylvie, and they sign the Peace Accord.

My father and her father have worked on this deal for ages. When my father presented it to me, I accepted.

“It’s for the good of the pack. Marrying Sylvie will unite our territories for the first time in decades,” he had said.

Neither of us is under any delusion that this deal doesn’t benefit the Highland Pack greatly. They have been after our territory for years. But peace is peace.

I stare off toward the road where Yelena disappeared a while ago.

Seeing her again is bringing up all sorts of emotions for me and for my wolf.

It’s a desperate sort of feeling, one of hope, fear, and desire.

The last time I felt this, it was when I watched her disappear from my life.

It makes my chest hurt just thinking about that terrible day.

My skin is crawling with the need to be near her.

Vincent wanders over, giving me a long glance.

“That looked intense,” he remarks, nudging my shoulder. I grimace at him but don’t answer. Vincent is well aware of the fact that Sylvie and I aren’t a love match. We tolerate each other, each doing our duty, but that’s it. The tension between us is easy enough to read by people who know me.

“Yelena’s back,” he continues quietly. “That has to feel weird.”

Weird hardly covers it.

On one hand, my wolf is practically jumping out of my chest, desperate to see her, scent her, and just be near her. It’s been so long since I’ve been around Yelena, I had almost forgotten what it felt like to have our wolves in sync.

When I’m with Sylvie, my wolf is quiet. No excitement, no yearning—we just…exist.

“I guess I never thought about what it would be like when—if—she came back,” I say, turning to my beta. “She left, and that was the end of it. But now that she’s back…yeah. It does feel weird.”

Vincent gives me a sympathetic nod. “Have you talked to her much?” he asks.

I shake my head. The brief conversation we had at my parents’ place was awkward, largely because of Sylvie.

“No. She isn’t here for me. She’s here to pay her respects to Callie.”

Vincent stands silently next to me, staring off into the trees as we both are lost in our thoughts.

I miss her.

It’s hard to admit to myself, but it’s true.

“You should find her,” Vincent says, finally.

He turns to me and claps his hand on my back.

“Clear the air. Find out what you need to know. This is an opportunity Austin, for closure…or whatever else you might need. As your friend, I advise you to take it. You never know if you’ll get another chance. ”

He walks off, whistling a jaunty tune, leaving me with even more complicated emotions and thoughts.

Another chance. The words echo in my brain over and over again. Is that what I want?

My wolf howls in my chest, his pain lacing through me.

In the years Yelena has been gone, he’s been quieter. Our connection has been strained. I thought his grief would pass eventually, but it never did. I was eventually able to put my own feelings aside and focus on my ever-growing pack duties, but to my wolf? Our mate was gone.

Nothing would ever change that.

When I accepted the engagement to Sylvie, he refused to acknowledge it. For the first time in my adult life, I had to force myself to shift so that she and I could run together as wolves.

Our engagement may be settled according to our packs, but my wolf wants nothing to do with it. I kick at a pebble on the ground in frustration.

What if you never feel anything ever again? What if she’s the only one who brings out your wolf and makes you feel complete? What if she’s the only woman you’ve ever loved? Can you really go through the rest of your life without feeling that again?

I think about that for a moment, and the realization hits me so hard that I actually stagger backward from the intensity.

I know that my wolf needs Yelena in our life, but so do I.

I miss the little things, like coming home after work and seeing her working in the kitchen or waving to me from the front porch.

The way she smiles up at the sun when she reads on the porch. The scent of her shampoo in our shower.

I miss her. Living without her has been a sort of half-life, and I can’t go on like this. A future without her just feels bleak. The last time I truly felt happy going home was in the weeks right before she left.

I have to fix this.

I can’t spend the rest of my life feeling nothing, ignoring my wolf, and just….existing.

My wolf swells in my chest, urging me to go to her, and finally remedy what I broke so many years ago.

I give in to the urge and take off down the road at a light jog.

With any luck, I’ll catch Yelena at Callie’s house and maybe we’ll be able to speak privately.

For the first time in years, my chest feels a little lighter, like there’s hope again. A small sliver of sunshine on a cloudy day.

I wave to my fellow packmates as I pass them down the dirt road on my way to Callie’s place. With each step I take, I feel my heart expanding.

This is the right choice.

I know it. And so does my wolf.

Just as I reach Callie’s driveway, I sense her. My wolf perks up, anxious for our reunion. I still haven’t figured out what I want to say to her and how I am going to fix this, but I go to unlatch the gate and make my way up the small brick walkway.

It’s quiet over here. Callie preferred to live slightly away from the main pack. The large trees provide shade over the tiny front porch. I smile slightly when I see the empty rocking chairs. I’d spent many an afternoon sitting next to her, rocking on those chairs.

“May you be at peace, Callie,” I whisper into the wind.

A loud bang disrupts the silence, and I stop, suddenly alert. Soft footsteps pound the dirt behind the house. Quickly, I round the corner, and I see Yelena flying down the path toward the forest. She glances over her shoulder, and I’m taken aback by her expression.

She looks terrified.

Before I can say anything or do anything, I watch as she leaps into her shift and heads into the woods.

All of my senses are going haywire. What could possibly have spooked her? I debate what to do. Finally, I move to where she has shifted, and gather her clothes, before shifting myself and following her. My wolf and I have a profound need to know that she’s okay. By following her, I can protect her.

I move through the woods at a light jog, following her scent. She’s upset with me, but I refuse to allow anything to harm her. Not now. Not ever.