Page 41

Maximus

The way I barreled through the hallways, not caring if I bumped into anyone, had others jumping out of my way.

The anger pulsing through me made me want to rip apart every inch of this place, but it wouldn’t solve the issue at hand.

My mate had a baby. She had been pregnant this whole time and kept it a secret from me.

Even if she wanted to remain unbonded, she could have sent me a letter to tell me I had a pup out there somewhere.

That is never something to keep from your mate. I don’t care how angry you are—you tell me about my children!

My lycan rose to the surface and snarled at me. Big talk coming from the one who listened to a bitch over his queen!

I snarled back at him, the rage growing as I realized my lycan was on her side. He was a part of me. The damn lycan should be siding with me, angry about his mate keeping this from him.

But it was my fault for her disappearing.

I shouldn’t have cared about superficial things and should have kept my focus on my mate and finding a cure for whatever was going on with her.

Because of my sins, I wasn’t there for the birth.

I learned about it afterward and had to hear how she almost died because of my neglect.

I was stupid.

But I needed her to see how I regretted what happened between us.

If I wanted her to understand that, now was the time to show her.

My anger was getting the best of me. I could feel it swirling inside me, needing to be released on someone or something.

I walked out of the clinic and into the woods.

I didn’t stop until I was deep enough among the trees and let out the howl building inside of me before I punched the trunk of a tree.

I needed to release what I felt before I walked back in there.

I kept punching the trunk, not caring about my skin splitting open and blood running down my fingers as I vented everything I felt on the tree.

I thought I needed someone better because of her struggle with her lycan.

Kylie was right about coming back to talk things over like adults.

That’s what I should have done in the first place, but the pent-up rage roaring inside me wasn’t what I needed to bring into that room again.

It was my fault Kylie yelled and caused my pup to become afraid.

That’s not how any pup should be welcomed into the world.

Yet again, I fucked something up, and I needed to let this shit go before I walked back in there.

When I could lift my arms again, they sagged to my sides, and I felt the blood dripping from me.

I twisted my body around and then plopped onto the ground, pulling my legs to my chest and threading my blood-covered fingers through my hair.

I couldn’t believe this all happened because of one mistake.

“I am such an idiot.”

You can say that again.

Shut up. You don’t need to add more to this.

I’d agree, but you are the one who was thrown out of the room.

The growl that came out of me was mixed with a sigh. This was all too much.

I had a pup. He was nuzzled against my mate, and instead of doing the right thing by making her feel appreciated and telling her how amazing she was for bringing this life into the world, I argued with her instead. What the hell was wrong with me? That was not how I should have responded.

It wasn’t until Kylie left that I realized I was in love with her. When it was too late. That must be the curse Zephyrine had cast on me, and now I had to fight my way back into Kylie’s heart. For all I knew, the curse wouldn’t allow that to happen.

No.

I couldn’t think like that.

I just needed to figure out a way to do this.

Zephyrine wanted me to see what it was like to have everything I ever wanted in my grasp but couldn’t hold on to it.

Fucking hell. That’s what was happening.

Kylie, my fated mate, and a beautiful pup to be my heir.

The family I had craved since my father’s passing was right in front of me, and I couldn’t hold on to it.

Then, go back and fix this.

My lycan was right. That’s exactly what I needed to do. No more feeling sorry for myself. If I wanted to bring my mate and my pup home with me, then I needed to repair the damage I’d caused.

I needed to change, so I found the bag I brought and changed.

The cuts from the tree had already healed, so I needed to wash up.

It didn’t take long before I was walking through the doors of the clinic again.

It wasn’t easy to see how many people were struggling in this place.

The building was big enough to handle even the rogues that passed through.

They didn’t have enough supplies either, so I was even more grateful to know they had enough to care for my mate.

This area wasn’t much, but it was enough to help those who passed through here.

If I wanted to be known as a great king, I needed to do something to help this place.

My kingdom was more than well off to provide assistance.

If they wanted to remain a territory for rogues, that was fine.

I didn’t need to absorb it into my kingdom to help them.

I could still provide support to improve operations and help more people in this area.

See what happens when you focus on things that matter?

If I could strangle my lycan, I would. I didn’t need to be reminded of how much of an ass I had been.

The nurse I had been arguing with glared at me as I approached the check-in desk. “You again,” she growled.

“Yes. I apologize for my attitude earlier. I wish to see Kylie again.”

Her eyes narrowed further, her eyebrows furrowing. “Is the patient aware you are here and okay with you visiting?”

There was a moment of hesitancy before I found the right words. “She told me to come back when I was ready to act like an adult. I think I can fit that bill now.”

She rolled her eyes but allowed me to walk past the desk and to Kylie’s room. I knocked first and heard her say “Enter.” When she saw me, she growled and opened her mouth to say something. I cut her off.

“I don’t want to fight.”

The warm scent of caramel and vanilla wrapped around me, and I wanted to sink to my knees. Catching her scent made my mouth water. If I could bask in her essence all day, I would. I thought I wouldn’t ever get to smell it again, and now that I have, I didn’t want to let it go.

She didn’t say anything to me, just watched me walk further into the room. My nerves about talking to her again made it hard for me to want to sit down. This was going to be a difficult conversation, but one that needed to happen.

“I understand why you wouldn’t want to be around me because of what happened. That shouldn’t have gone down the way it did. Nova was never going to be my bonded mate, in case you wondered.”

Another growl escaped her, and this time she bared her teeth at me. I couldn’t blame her for that, and I mentally slapped myself for even mentioning her name.

“Why did you keep the baby a secret from me?”

She shook her head. “You are such a dumbass. Why would I tell the person who broke my heart anything? I wasn’t good enough for you, remember?

So why would I think my baby would be good enough for you?

” Her eyes glistened with tears, and I wanted to hug her.

I whined at the sight, but I knew better than to try to approach her.

“I was never good enough for anyone, Maximus. Not even my father. So why would I give you the chance to make my child feel the same way someone made me feel? Over my dead body.”

My head dropped to my chest as I absorbed her explanation.

Gods, did I fuck up. To feel that way about yourself and not want that for your child…

that had to be awful. I didn’t know what that was like.

My father never made me feel unworthy. It was always hard for me to understand what Kylie went through because I never felt that way.

But hearing her speak like that gave me an idea of what it could be like.

“I can understand that. There aren’t enough words in the world for me to express how sorry I am that you felt that way.”

She scoffed. “Like you care.”

“I do. Don’t you think it was hard for me to know you disappeared?

Even if I rejected you, which I shouldn’t have done,” I said with a sigh, “I didn’t stop loving you.

It was hard for me to wonder if you were alive or dead.

” My voice cracked. It was difficult for me to recount feeling like that.

My fists balled, and I tried not to let all these emotions get the better of me as they raged inside.

“I’m not buying this, Max. You have no idea what I’ve gone through since I left.”

“No, I don’t.” I deadpanned. It was hard not to let the anger building inside me take over. I was trying to talk to her, but she didn’t seem like she wanted to engage. We were supposed to be communicating like adults, but now, she was the one holding onto her rage. “So why don’t you tell me?”

She snarled, and I realized how much of her lycan was on the surface as her eyes glowed. This wasn’t the same Kylie as before. She was more in tune with her lycan, something I didn’t know she could achieve! Whatever she did while I was away broke through whatever barrier had been holding her back.

Kylie broke through her own curse without needing me to do it for her.

She was so much stronger than I had given her credit for.

This was why the Moon Goddess had gifted me her as my mate: to teach me that strength wasn’t what I thought it was in our species.

It wasn’t the abilities our lycans gave us, the power we wielded, or even the physical strength. Strength was more than that.

And she had it inside her all along.

“I had to find a way to connect with my lycan just to get through this pregnancy. I didn’t have you around, so it was the pack I found here that got me through it. You should have been the one to be there for me, but you weren’t. And there were times I wanted to die.”

“Then why run? You could have died out there.” My anger got the best of me again as I spat those words.

She snarled again. “I almost did! If you hadn’t rejected me, my lycan wouldn’t have grown weaker. It took more than you would ever know to break through all of that and connect with her. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have gone through any of this!”

Her words sliced through me like a sword to my chest. Of course, it was my fault.

She felt better because of our bond and probably would have broken through whatever was holding her back if I hadn’t rejected her.

I don’t know what she had done to achieve it, but I knew in my soul it was my fault it didn’t happen sooner.

I nodded. “You’re right.”

“Yeah, I’m fucking right. All you had to do was love me, Maximus.

That’s all you had to do. When you did, I felt like I could take anything on and get through this bullshit connection with my lycan.

If you had loved me for me, accepted me for everything I am, then we could have gotten through all of this together.

You chose to throw that all away, not me.

So stop trying to make it seem like me running away was the problem when it is the furthest thing from the truth. ”

No one spoke to me like this. Ever. No one had the guts to do so, yet here was this little omega telling me exactly how she felt and not caring how she delivered that truth to me.

I made a huge mistake by throwing her away.

The fire inside of her was exactly what a luna and queen needed to rule over a kingdom.

She was trying to protect herself and her pup from feeling anything less than what they were worth, proving to me once again why the Moon Goddess chose her for me.

“You are right again.” I sighed, and I felt tears welling in my eyes as I realized how deeply I had fucked things up. There wasn’t a chance she would take me back right now.

How could things get any worse than this? It was bad enough that I had a curse on me; now that curse may have cost me everything. Should I tell Kylie about the curse?

No. She wouldn’t believe me anyway. It would sound like an excuse instead of an explanation.

“Since you left, I have felt the absence of your presence in my soul. I cannot explain how much I’ve hated myself for what I did that drove you away.

If I had done what any mate is programmed to do, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

Like I said before, there aren’t enough words in existence to tell you how sorry I am. ”

When I looked at her, I couldn’t tell what was going through her mind. If we were bonded, I could easily read the emotions swirling within her, but I didn’t have that to rely on.

“I would do anything to take back what I have done. It’s not because you are connected with your lycan or gave birth to my pup, so don’t try to use that against me here.

” My throat was going dry as I spoke to her.

There were so many things I wanted to say right now, but I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to say them to her.

Not with her looking at me like she wished I would walk out that door and never come back one minute, and unsure if she should listen to me the next.

“It’s because I realized far too late how much you meant to me.

Your strength has nothing to do with your lycan—it has everything to do with you.

Not everyone could survive what you did as a kid.

I just wish I hadn’t realized all of this when it was too late. ”

“Realized what?”

“How much I love you and need you in my life.”