Page 36

Maximus

It was difficult for anyone to understand my intentions about going into rogue territory myself.

As the king, it was expected that I would have others run into danger.

That’s not how I saw things. If I was the king, then I needed to show my kingdom how to face uncertainty head-on.

Rogues were unpredictable beasts. Most were those who simply got tired of pack life and wanted to settle in a place where pack politics wouldn’t follow them.

There were a few I knew of who had fled to rogue territory just to escape everything they dealt with inside a pack.

But my pack hated the idea of me going into rogue territory without backup.

To them, I was walking into enemy territory without an army to keep me safe.

I might as well be naked. I understood their fear, but I didn’t see it that way.

If I brought my army of loyal soldiers with me—who would kill anyone who looked at me oddly—it would be an unprovoked attack.

Rogues often caused issues for the packs, but many didn’t have the resources to survive.

When you don’t know where your next meal will come from for your human side, it can drive people to do crazy things.

Stealing from packs was an offense we didn’t take lightly, but now I was wondering if I should change things.

Kylie ran to rogue territory for a reason.

It was the perfect place to hide from me.

I would have never guessed she would run there because there wasn’t much to begin with.

Rogues were considered outlaws, and the territory they called home was just neutral ground for them to live without me stepping in.

There were times I thought about checking there, but I didn’t believe there would be anything there to help her.

It’s not like the rogues I had ever encountered were friendly.

If anything, if she was there, I expected her to be hiding under the radar.

A knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts.

I at least stopped staring at the map on the wall now that every pack had been searched outside of the rogue territory.

The answer was already found. If she wasn’t in the rogue territory, I would need to expand my search to the other kingdoms. It wouldn’t go well if that was the path I had to take.

It wasn’t like all the kings were on good terms with one another.

Eli walked in, and he had a look on his face that made me think we had reached another dead end. My lycan growled at the thought of not getting any closer to finding Kylie.

“Well?” I asked him with a hint of a growl.

He looked at me solemnly. “Do you want the good news or the bad first?”

That didn’t sound good. “Should I want the bad news first?” Even though I doubted I wanted the bad news first, I needed to know what it meant.

That could range across many scenarios regarding what I was searching for.

What if the hired search party found my mate but discovered she was dead?

The bad news outweighed the good, and if I heard that news first, I would destroy this room even more than I already had.

Eli hesitated. “No. That might have been a stupid question.”

He wouldn’t look me in the eye. Maybe it was just deference—low-ranking wolves avoiding a dominant’s gaze—but right now, it only agitated my lycan further.

I could feel him pacing inside my mind, practically snarling from being without our mate for so long.

The suspense wasn’t helping. If it were up to him, we would be ripping through our kingdom, tearing apart every pack until we found her.

That was his only plan, and it felt right to him.

“Out with it,” I growled.

“It’s Kylie. The men found her location.”

My heart soared at the idea of Kylie being found.

The beast inside me stopped pacing and began pushing against the walls of my mind to shift.

The need to escape this room and run until we were finally in her presence overwhelmed me.

It took everything I had not to allow that to happen.

The only thing holding me back was not knowing her exact location yet.

“Where? Where has my mate gone? Tell me now!” I urged him.

Seeing my beta hesitate to tell me didn’t bode well.

What if he delivered the bad news that she wasn’t alive, like my disastrous thoughts had suggested before?

He continued to look at the floor instead of me, almost confirming my suspicion.

I couldn’t let my mind go that far. My beast wouldn’t handle being told there wasn’t a chance to make things right with our mate.

I couldn’t contain the anger I felt. The wait was driving me insane. I grabbed hold of Eli’s shirt and pulled him to me. His face was an inch from mine, and he still avoided my gaze. He tried to stay calm, but I could hear his heartbeat quicken the moment I fisted his shirt.

“Something is wrong with our luna,” Eli said.

I growled. Eli didn’t flinch, but he knew better than to stop there.

“The men found her and stayed to track her movements. Kylie is still weak from her lycan not connecting to her.”

Another growl escaped me. I didn’t like the sound of this.

“There are reports of her appearing ill and collapsing. They said she is being taken to a small makeshift clinic they have set up in the rogue territory.”

It was difficult not to give in to the madness I had been keeping at bay since Kylie’s disappearance.

It had already been a slow descent into madness since she left because of my mistake.

I had been kicking myself for months now for allowing my terrible judgment to get the better of me and rejecting her.

Now, hearing that it had only grown worse made me believe I could have been the cause.

Before I rejected her, I grew concerned about her not getting stronger without physical contact with me. It didn’t feel like I could leave for long periods without worrying about her health when I returned. Having her so reliant on me made me think she would be too weak to be the queen.

But rejecting her could be the cause of her death.

“You’re telling me she has been going to a clinic because of how sick she has become since I rejected her?” My voice strained as I spoke the words aloud.

There wasn’t an upside to this. This was my fault.

If I hadn’t rejected her, we could have found a way to bring out her lycan more.

It would have been the key to her not needing me as much.

Instead, I wanted to separate myself from her.

Being connected to her when she was weaker than I wanted her to be felt like the destruction of my future.

If I hadn’t viewed it that way, I could have kept her here and found a way to make her better.

“I’m sorry, Max,” he told me as I let go of his shirt.

Returning to pacing the hardwood floors, Eli didn’t make a move to leave. He knew retreating now would make my lycan think he was prey. The beast repeatedly slammed against my mind, demanding the shift. We knew where Kylie was, and he wanted to run there now and reclaim her.

We are the key to her strength. If you hadn’t rejected her, she wouldn’t be sick!

She was sick before we rejected her! I reminded my beast.

It made her worse! You arrogant fool! We could be the reason she is thriving instead of dying!

Replaying the news in my mind, Eli didn’t mention dying. The only thing he said was that she was getting sicker. The collapsing caused her to go to the clinic. That didn’t mean she was dying, though, did it?

“What has the clinic reported about what is wrong with Kylie?” I looked at my beta, demanding the answer more with my expression than my words.

He shrugged his shoulders. “They weren’t allowed inside to know. She is staying with an older bonded couple, and they took her in.”

“We don’t know the cause of her illness? How does no one know what is wrong with Kylie? Surely, there is an answer as to why her lycan has not connected with her enough to become strong!”

It was something I had researched while looking for her.

Nowhere on the internet or in any book we had on our kind mentioned something like this happening.

The other kings’ mates didn’t have the same circumstances as Kylie.

Tala was delayed because of her being a white lycan.

Elena had more of a mental block from not feeling good enough.

That was the only information Aaric and Talon gave me when I asked them.

They were sympathetic enough to share the details of their rejection journeys, but they reported they had not seen Kylie in their territory.

Since their mates had disappeared on them like mine had, the security of leaving the kingdom increased, making it harder for anyone to move in and out without them knowing.

It didn’t matter that they were living a good life now with pups.

They didn’t want the idea of that happening to anyone within their kingdom after what they experienced.

Something I would look further into once I brought Kylie home.

Neither of their mates had been like Kylie, though. None of them had become sick like this. Their mates had been strong with and without their lycan.

So why was Kylie? Was it her weakness?

Evening prayers to the Moon Goddess gave me no answers. It seemed like I only received a deafening silence from my creator. Most likely because she disapproved of me rejecting the person she created to be my perfect half. None of the answers I needed came when praying to her.

“The only thing we have noted is that her lycan is not strong enough to create the right connection with her. Maybe it has something to do with her confidence? Luna Elena had something like that from the southern kingdom.”