Page 43

Lucian

Present

At Kerainne’s final words of the tale, my heart, already beaten and bloodied from her tale of Mephistopheles’s attack on Medicia, was crushed further.

But my pain was nothing compared to hers at what I did when I found her.

She’d believed that I’d listen to her, that I’d understand the situation and be there for her.

And for Xochitl. And I’d trampled over all that undeserved faith and hurled more hurt at her when she’d already been hurting so much and needed me.

“Fates, Kerainne, I’m so sorry.” The moment the words tumbled from my stupid mouth, I finally realized how pithy and worthless they were every time I’d said them to her.

“I know.” She refilled her teacup and took a deep drink, visibly relieved at the feel of honey on her raw throat. “I mean, I believe you now.”

“I’m never going to be able to make up for what I did to you.”

“I know.” She rubbed her eyes in futile effort to banish the dark circles and lines of strain. “But maybe I can let you try. Starting with a favor.”

“Anything,” I vowed.

“Can I sleep with you tonight…or rather, today since the sun will be up in a few hours?”

I blinked at her, both confused, astonished, and delighted.

“Not sex!” she said quickly. “I just don’t want to be alone, in case I have nightmares again.”

“Of course.” I stood and offered her my hand. Yawning both for real and to assure her that I was sleepy too.

I led her to my bedroom and gave her the biggest shirt I had, along with drawstring sweatpants that I shrunk with a spell.

While she went in the bathroom to change and clean her teeth, I changed into my own pajamas, buttoning up the flannel shirt all the way to the collar so she would be reassured that I wouldn’t try to seduce her.

Then, when she returned, I turned down the bed and left her to get in and settle herself while I brushed my teeth.

Part of me was as giddy as a youth at the prospect of having her in my bed beside me again after so many decades—even back then it was a rare treat, as we were usually in a place where we had to be proper even if those around knew we were already mating.

The other part of me felt horrible, and completely undeserving.

Just because I was there to protect against nightmares didn’t mean I should be rewarded like this.

When I returned to the bedroom, she was tucked in on the side of the bed I usually slept.

Was it because the mattress was softer on that side, or because it smelled like me?

I shoved that speculation away and tried not to notice how beautiful her long blonde curls looked splayed across my pillow, reflecting the gold moonlight.

I turned off the bedside lamp and got into bed, laying on my back with my hands clasped on my chest like a vampire in an Earth movie to make sure I wouldn’t accidentally touch her.

“Lucian?” Her voice was husky from drowsiness, and unbearably sexy.

“Yes?”

“Will you hold me?”

Immediately, I rolled over and gathered her into my arms, biting back a groan of bliss at the feel of her back against my chest, and her round ass against my hips and… No! I promised I’d behave. Why was she blessing me with such heaven?

“I thought you’d be angry with me after being reminded of…all that.”

“I still am.” She scooted around, adjusting her position, igniting my body. “I’m just being selfish right now.”

“Oh.” And that was all I dared say, because if I said something wrong and she changed her mind, it would kill me.

She could be selfish all she liked. Even though the feel of her warmth against me was torture, this was the happiest I’d felt since the day before we were supposed to get married.

Eventually, her breathing slowed, and her body relaxed even more into mine.

Gratitude filled me that I managed to make her feel safe enough to fall asleep.

Not wanting to miss a second of this heaven, I forced myself to stay awake so I could savor the feel of her in my arms, the scent of her—lilacs, magic, and her unique femininity—and the soft sound of her breathing.

I managed to make it until the sky outside the window began to lighten, blessing me with one last look at the miraculous sight of Kerainne Leonine in my bed, in my arms, before sleep sucked me under.

But it was the best and most peaceful sleep I’d had since I could remember.

When I awoke, she was gone. I hugged her pillow, inhaling the scent of her, and managed to drowse for a few more minutes before it was time to shower.

At least I’d be seeing Kerainne again soon. We needed to prepare for tomorrow’s meeting with the matriarchs.

Just as I’d finished getting dressed, there was a knock at the door. Joyous anticipation built in my chest. Maybe Kerainne had returned!

When I opened the door, my heart lodged in my throat at the sight of the tiny cloaked figure—then dropped as she lifted her hood.

“Queen Xochitl.” I dropped down to one knee, even though such was not required of me, being that I wasn’t one of her subjects. However, aside from wanting to remain hers and King Zareth’s diplomatic guest, I’d wronged her too. Therefore, I was more than willing to bow and scrape.

“Prince Lucian.” Her wry smirk and amused amber eyes revealed that she knew my motives. “I have a favor to ask you.”

“Anything for an ally.” Anything for your mother. I opened the door further and took a step back. “Please, come in. I know you hate being cold.”

Her brow quirked, but she followed me inside. “How do you know that?”

“Because all luminites have a hard time with low temperatures, especially the Leonine clan.” I couldn’t help smiling as I told her what I told her mother many times. “But the Jagwolfe clan handles the cold the best.”

I expected Xochitl to frown at my boast, but instead she grinned. “That is fascinating. And goes with what I will ask of you.”

My curiosity piqued. “Would you like tea or wine? I’m afraid I don’t have any of that Earthen beverage you prefer. Bull of Red?”

“Red Bull,” she corrected, then settled herself on my overstuffed chair by the fire. “I’ll have tea. Black with sugar, please. You’re being much more courteous than I’d expected.”

“How so?” I asked, even though I was pretty certain I knew.

“You think I’m an abomination.”

“I never said that to you.” I put the kettle on. “Your grandmother did.”

“But you thought it.” I knew she’d be glaring at me even before I returned to the living room to see that she’d spun the chair around to face the kitchen. Sure enough, those amber eyes had darkened, though thankfully not to the red of her sire.

And she was partly right. It was true that I had thought her an abomination, but I didn’t anymore.

I replied honestly, but carefully. “My emotions were tied more with fury that the Evil One defiled my mate.”

Her glare deepened and her voice sharpened. “Then why did you look at me with such hatred when we met after my first death?”

“That wasn’t hatred,” I argued, my own voice heated. “That was anger.”

“Why?”

I slammed my fist into the doorframe. “Because you should have been mine!”

“Wait,” Xochitl’s eyes widened in shock. “You wanted me to be your kid?”

“I’ve wanted to have children with Kerainne since the day I fell in love with her,” I admitted aloud for the first time. “I always thought it odd that her bond was with children, yet she never willed a conception when we…” I trailed off as my face heated. “And yet when he… well, here you are.”

She blinked at me with amber eyes that thankfully more resembled her aunt’s than her sire’s. “Luminites can will conception?”

“More that they can will against it if the Yearning comes.” My heart lurched in remembrance of learning about Kerainne’s miscarriage and realizing that she’d been doing just that, because she was too afraid of having another.

“But even that’s not foolproof, as demonstrated by the bloodlines of your bandmates and all the other hybrids on Earth and here in Aisthanesthai. ”

“And by my existence,” Xochitl added what I’d left unspoken. Then her eyes narrowed and shifted fully to that eerie red. “Unless you believe that my mom willed herself to be impregnated by that asshole.”

I lowered my head, the old shame returning. “I did, at one point. I was a fool. But there’s no point in talking about that ugliness.”

The kettle whistled, temporarily sparing me from those unsettling red eyes.

“Please, tell me about the favor you’re requesting,” I said as I poured the water through the diffuser and into the tea pot.

“I couldn’t help but notice Mom doing the walk of shame back to the tower this morning—or afternoon.”

My hands shook as I set up the tea tray and included the remainder of the pumpkin bread. “She was ashamed?”

“No…or, at least I hope not.” She now leaned against the kitchen doorway and regarded me with those red eyes. “So you two are sleeping together again?”

I shook my head as I brought in the tea tray. “Sleeping only. I asked for her to share her side of the story when she was ready. When she was finished, she asked to sleep beside me in case she had nightmares.”

“Oh.” For a moment, she looked deflated. Her red eyes faded back to amber. “Well, I’ve come to ask for the same thing, minus the sleeping part. I want your side of the story. How you met my mother, what really made you two break up, and everything else.”

I raised a brow as I poured the tea. “Why do you want to know about all that?”

“Because you’ve sworn yourself as an ally, but I don’t know much about you.” Xochitl studied me over the rim of her cup.

I raised a brow. Kerainne’s daughter had avoided and ignored me whenever she could. But now she wanted to get to know me? Another thought stuck me. “Does your mother know you’re here?”

The little queen blushed. “No. But I’m the monarch and can go where I want. And right now, I’m worried about my mom. I know you hurt her badly, so I want to make sure you won’t do that again.”

I kept my eyes fixed on her. “And you’d actually believe what I have to say?”

“That remains to be seen.” Xochitl nibbled the pumpkin bread and smiled. “Though, I’d like to. I know you didn’t come here because you suddenly got bored with the utopia that is Luminista. You’ve been spending more and more time with my mom and I can’t help but think that you want her back.”

This time it was my face that heated. “I’m not sure that’s your business.”

“Dude.” She gave me a hard look like I was a dullard. “She’s my mom . If you two get back together, that would make you my stepdad. So it’s absolutely my business.”

I didn’t have an argument for that. Besides, I wanted to get closer to her, and not just to get closer to Kerainne as I’d originally intended.

Kerainne’s daughter was a magnificent, talented, and fascinating being.

And her mention of the possibility of me being her stepdad kindled a strange, yet pleasant warmth in my chest.

“Very well.” I took a deep drink of tea, thinking I’d probably switch to wine before long. “But I’m not sure we have time for this today. We need to prepare for the negotiations with the Luminista matriarchs.”

“We’ll have time.” Xochitl grinned, undeterred. “The vampires won’t be up until after dark and they’ll need to feed first, so we have a few hours.”

“Is it wise to have the vampires attend?” I couldn’t hide my doubt. “From what I understand, they weren’t well received by Asithanesthai’s Conclave. I don’t see the matriarchs’ reaction being any better. They’re Mephistopheles’s creations, after all.”

“So am I,” Xochitl reminded me. “And they are my army. Mom said it was important for them to understand that.”

She might be right, I realized. Kerainne always was smarter than me.

“Very well. I settled back in my chair and transported myself back to the days of my youth.

“I thought we were true-bonded the moment I saw her, and I’ve realized that I took that for granted,” I told Xochitl after giving her an edited account of meeting her in the welcoming hall and smuggling her to Jagwolfe clan’s at my matriarch’s insistence.

“But my mother and great aunt nearly ruined it with their talk of betrothal.”

It was difficult to give a summary of the two-thousand-year on-and-off courtship, but I did my best, making it clear that many of our conflicts were about the expectation that she’d stay in Luminista with me once we were married.

I also wasn’t going to go into the lusty details of our first mating, except for the fact that afterward, she’d finally agreed to marry me.

I told her how I didn’t know that Nik had become pregnant at the time, and that’s why Kerainne had disappeared for two years to help her.

“I was hurt and baffled at how she’d went from agreeing to marry me to disappearing for almost three years.

And I was furious when she finally did return, she refused to tell me where she’d been, only that she was helping Nik. ”

Somehow, that fight had turned into a bout of angry sex, but I left that part out.

“Because I was still upset that she wouldn’t trust me with everything, I put off setting a wedding date.

Especially because, a hundred years later, she frustrated me further when she then claimed she swore a blood vow not to tell, when that wasn’t the story originally.

I know now that she was telling the truth.

That’s when Nik found out what Del had done to become immortal and made Kerainne swear a blood vow to never tell him where she was and that she’d given birth to his child.

Though I did start to suspect the blood vow had something to do with Nik when Kerainne and I had our first hibernation together and she’d left strict instructions that she was to be awakened if there was word from her sister. ”

My voice cracked a little when I told her about presenting her with a mage staff I’d hand crafted for her as was the custom for a mage proposal, and a ring because she loved that Earth custom.

“Wow,” Xochitl breathed. Her amber eyes were wide with astonishment. “I didn’t realize that you two were involved for that long. For some reason, I thought the breakup was a long time ago, like with Aunt Nik and Uncle Del.”

Her words brought me to a devastating realization. “She never told you anything about me, did she?”

“Only that you broke her heart and never wanted to see you again.” Xochitl’s nonchalant tone twisted my heart before her voice softened. “But she’s seemed to have changed her mind about that. Still, I need to know. What did you do to her? And to me, since you mentioned that you wronged me too.”

“I did.” Though it wasn’t yet night time, I summoned a six pack of hard cider and a bucket of ice. “Would you like one? I know it’s early in the day, but I’m going to need it for what comes next.”

Xochitl smirked at my new liking for her favorite drink and accepted a bottle. “I have a feeling you’re right.”