Kerainne

Past

Three months after Lucian and I made love for that seemingly endless day and night in Luminista, I was back home at the palace, waiting for the right time to tell my parents about our betrothal.

Although I knew that unlike with Nik and Del, Mother would approve of the match, something held me back.

So I held the secret close to my heart and comforted Nik as Delgarias had gone off to what I’d assumed was tending to duties as Keeper of the Prophecy.

One afternoon, I was designing dresses for important events such as Lucian’s official request for my hand in marriage, the signing of the betrothal contract, and my engagement party. I was rummaging for my blue pencil when I felt it, a spark of life low in my abdomen.

My breath fled my body and for a moment, I remained frozen, my hand on my belly, waiting to see if I’d imagined it.

There it was again. I was pregnant. For a moment, satisfaction washed over me in warm rippling waves.

I imagined what a baby that was half me and half Lucian would look like, then grinned in the confident knowledge that it would be the most beautiful baby in the universe.

And unlike my mother’s pregnancy with Nik, which I’d only experienced vicariously, this was all mine.

Every movement, every kick, every centimeter of growth would be all mine to feel.

The baby would be all mine as well. No painful separation as he, she, or they were taken back to their real mother’s breast.

I would be the real mother. A mother! Me! The bond I shared with all little ones rejoiced.

But when I started fantasizing about Lucian’s broad smile when I told him the good news, reality reared its ugly head.

This pregnancy could mean that my marriage would end up happening sooner than I’d like.

The likelihood that a Leonine Princess would be permitted to bear a Jagwolfe prince’s child out of wedlock was probably zero.

I needed time to figure out when and how to break the news, to my parents and to Lucian.

The problem was that if I could feel the spark of a seedling within me, it would only be a matter of weeks—perhaps even days—before my mother would sense it too. I know I sensed Mother’s pregnancy when her belly was still flat.

A shielding spell would buy me time. It would be several months before I’d begin to show.

And surely by then I’d have a plan about how to proceed with the betrothal and perhaps even negotiate an arrangement for Lucian to spend the next century or more in Medicia with me.

Maybe he could rule beside me while my parents were hibernating.

Most luminites needed to hibernate eventually and I didn’t know when Mother and Father had last rested.

I dashed to my laboratory to find the ingredients for a shielding spell and cursed when I saw that I was out of a few things. So I rushed to Nik’s laboratory and froze when I opened the door to see her standing in front of a shelf full of herbs.

“Will you ever remember to knock?” Nik snapped at me.

I ignored the outburst, noticing that my sister was holding her own belly protectively. “You too?”

Nik gasped, grasping my meaning when I touched my stomach. “Going to luminista didn’t stop the Yearning?”

I shook my head and started pacing the length of her laboratory.

“Lucian?” she asked softly.

Who else? A voice inside me laughed as I nodded. “I don’t want him or anyone to know yet, though. I’ll be married off immediately.”

“At least he’d have to marry you and stay here until the child is old enough for their first death.” Nik’s reassuring tone was offset by the concern in her eyes. “So, you played that part very well.”

“I don’t want anyone to know until it’s agreed that Lucian will live in Medicia with me.

I don’t want to live in Luminista.” I resumed pacing back and forth, twirling a lock of my hair sporadically.

At least Nik’s problem with our parents might be solved with her pregnancy.

“What of you? I see you’re preparing for a shielding spell too.

That’s why I’m here. I ran out of Canwyl plasma.

Since we get it from Shellandria, I knew you’d have some.

Are you going to try to change Mother’s mind about allowing you to marry Del when he returns?

Since he’ll be the father of their grandchild, they may reconsider. ”

They had to. Didn’t they?

“I doubt it.” Nik’s shoulders slumped and she sighed in defeat.

“But I don’t know what I’m going to do. I might run away.

I might find some way to force our parents to accept that I love Del and no one else.

Or he may convince them. He had a vision of a sorcerer discovering the spell of immortality.

” Unease flickered in her copper eyes before she turned back to me.

“He is seeking eternal life as we speak, and he’ll be back in only a hundred years. ”

“A hundred years?” I gasped and stopped pacing. “But he’d miss—I mean, are you going to bear his child or have someone help you divest the seedling?”

Just like faelin and humans who’d reached the higher ranks of mages, one could divest themselves of a seedling before it even grew into an embryo.

And if they somehow weren’t able to do so immediately, they could still terminate the pregnancy if they didn’t wish to let a fetus grow into a baby.

The selfish part of me that bonded with all babies hoped that Nik wanted a baby.

“I will nurture the seedling.” Nik lifted her chin stubbornly as if she expected me to argue while I sighed with relief. “Though I worry that Mother or Father may try to have someone uproot it.”

“They wouldn’t!” I was so horrified at the notion that I nearly shouted. Quickly, I got control of myself and lowered my voice. “I can’t see them considering doing something so awful. Taking such a choice away from you like that. Besides, isn’t Del a member of the Shellandrian royal family?”

“Yes, he’s a duke…” Nik took a deep breath and confessed something that made my jaw drop. “We wed secretly in Shellandria six months ago, so I guess that makes me a duchess.”

“You’re only telling me now?” I seized her shoulders, feeling hurt and betrayed. “I could slap you for keeping that from me!”

“I wanted everyone to know when our wedding in Medicia is approved.” Nik’s voice cracked with heartache at her betrothal being refused. “Now I don’t know what to do.”

“Tell them that you already wed and that you are bearing a child who is a royal of two nations,” I said firmly. “They’ll have to accept him and your child.”

Nik shook her head sadly. “If I did that, I’d have to explain why my husband is to be gone for the next hundred years. If Delgarias fails to achieve the immortality that they taunted him about, and Mother and Father know about it, his humiliation will be too much.”

“Well, you’re going to have to do something. The shielding spell only conceals the essence of a pregnancy. It will not hide a swollen belly.” I frowned and placed my hand over my own secret.

“And how long do you plan on concealing yours?” Nik retorted. “We need to find a way to establish that you and your child won’t be going anywhere that you don’t wish. I feel that’s more urgent since you’re the heir to the throne, not me.”

I sighed, feeling defeated for the moment. “Let’s just get our secrets concealed now and figure it out later.”

By the time we finished working the shielding spell on each other, I couldn’t stop smiling and daydreaming about my baby. Sighs of contentment escaped me and my hand constantly crept back down to my womb.

Nik glared at me and scolded as if she were the eldest. “Stop touching your belly and acting so pleased with yourself, or Mother will immediately know what’s going on.”

“Sorry.” I lowered her head, momentarily embarrassed at my baby sister having to reprimand me. But when I raised it to look back at her, my smile returned. “I just can’t stop thinking how wonderful it will be to have a baby of my own.”

Nik froze and a haunting sadness filled her eyes. Guilt flooded me for thinking only of my own pregnancy. I would be having a niece too! I could feel her essence radiating from my sister’s womb. The idea of our children being born together and growing up together made me misty-eyed.

I enfolded my sister in my arms. “I can’t wait to meet your baby too. She’ll be so beautiful, with either your hair or Del’s. Oh, and I hope she’ll have those darling pointed ears.”

“She?” Nik stepped back from the hug.

I shrugged. I don’t know how I knew which sex her seedling would grow into, but I was sure. “I have a strong sense about it.”

“What of yours?”

I closed my eyes and touched my belly again. There was that answering spark, but no sense of what it would grow into. A kernel of worry settled in my stomach. “I can’t feel much of anything, aside from the seedling. Perhaps because I’m too close?”

Maybe Nik would be able to tell. As if reading my mind, my sister placed her hand over my womb and bent down close to my belly.

She closed her eyes and remained there for a few moments before she rose, shaking her head. “And I seem to be too far.”