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I shoved away my worry and pulled Nik into my room, where we planned out how to handle our respective pregnancies.

Lucian would be busy with his world-building duties until autumn, but just in case he came back, Nik and I decided to avoid home for a while.

We told our parents we were going to Earth to rescue more Tribespeople, but really, we travelled around Aisthanesthai.

At first, it was great fun, being free from our parents, our responsibilities, and our men.

We visited Shellandria first, where Nik was openly recognized as a duchess.

We stayed in Del’s home and spent our days getting to know the faelin’s customs and magics.

Nik traded for a Shellandrian steel sword and trained with the captain of the royal guard while I covertly researched herbs and mushrooms with healing properties.

Because the faelin were nearly as powerful as luminites, we only stayed a month so we wouldn’t risk any of them sensing our pregnancies.

We spent the second month in Piscanos, the seafarers.

Most of that time was aboard a ship. I had a wonderful time climbing the rigging and peering through the spyglass at leaping fist and surfacing whales.

Unfortunately, Nik started to get seasick, so we left as soon as the ship reached the next port.

The third month was spent wandering, never staying in the same place overnight, for our pregnancies had reached the sixth month, a quarter of the way through, and our bellies had grown to reflect that fact. I felt a burning envy for the humans’ short nine-month pregnancies.

One day we both had a severe craving for blackcap berries, so we went hiking in the Khal mountains.

To this day, I don’t know if the hiking caused it, or if I was doomed from the beginning.

White-hot pain speared my midsection and I collapsed with a cry.

Nik rushed to my side and knelt beside me.

The dread in her eyes confirmed my own even before I felt warm moisture soaking my pants.

“My baby…” I whimpered.

Nik released her wings and scooped me up in her arms. Even though she was gentle, every movement was agony. I bit back whimpers as she concentrated on a levitation spell to get us airborne.

“Wurrakia is closest,” Nik shouted. “And they have the best healers in the world.”

I clung to her as tears poured from my eyes. Despite the hope in her voice, I was fairly sure it was too late. I only hoped my sister wouldn’t overexert herself and crash and lose her baby.

By the time Nik landed on solid ground, I was too weak to move. My vision went in and out and my sister’s voice sounded so far away.

“Healers, now,” she croaked. “My sister is losing her baby.”

My baby! My heart cried, but my lips wouldn’t move. I felt strong hands grab me and was able to open my eyes long enough to see Nik faint. Thankfully, two blue-robed Wurrak healers caught her. Blackness overtook my vision once more.

I woke up briefly to find I was lying in a cot in a hospital.

Nik was in her own cot beside me, being attended by a healer.

Another jolt of pain shot through me, making me whimper.

Four healer mages spoke in soothing words and fed me an elixir.

One examined me down below, and from the feel of warm hands on my bare thigh I realized they’d managed to undress me.

Something thick, wet, and hot poured out from my body. The pain in my body and heart was unbearable, so I let the darkness carry me off once more.

When next I awoke, Nikkita stood at my bedside and held my hand. Her sobs tore at my heart, but I was too weak to hold my eyes open, much less speak to her. The mattress beneath me felt wet and sticky.

Another elixir was forced down my throat as I clung to my sister’s hand. I floated in oblivion and wondered what I’d say to Lucian when I returned to Luminista.

Then I heard Nik’s voice, full of horror. “She can’t die.”

“Why not?” One of the younger healers asked. “She’s a luminite, is she not?”

“Her condition was a secret.”

Nik’s plea gave me hope. If the healers could keep me alive, Lucian wouldn’t have to know. I couldn’t bear to imagine the disappointment in his eyes when he learned that I’d failed to nurture the potential life we’d planted.

A sharp pain in the crook of my elbow brought me back to the present. What were the healers doing? The problem wasn’t in my arm. I wished I was strong enough to open my eyes and see what was happening. I heard Nik hiss in pain and grew even more curious.

The healers’ voices mingled in a chant. I hadn’t learned this language, but I felt the magic they worked.

A few minutes later, I even felt a bit of strength return.

It wasn’t enough for me to be able to move, but it was sufficient that I at least knew I wouldn’t die.

The sharp stinger in my arm was removed, and my bedding was changed before I was fed even more medicine.

This time, it was some sort of painkiller, which I swallowed eagerly.

My midsection seemed to scream at its emptiness.

I heard the healers tell Nik to return to her own bed. She argued until they pushed her cot flush against her sister’s. Then she curled up beside me and sobbed against my shoulder. I longed to hold her, to tell her she didn’t need to cry for me.

A few hours later, I did enough of my own.

Anguish filled my body until it overflowed, boiling out of my being in an animalistic howl.

I rolled over on my side and curled into a ball, unable to stop the wrenching cries.

My sister’s arms wrapped around me and she hummed in soothing tones.

I cried until my throat was dry and dizziness stole my consciousness.

When I awoke the next morning, Nik was gone and a Wurrak healer gave me more medicine, then tried to feed me spoonfuls of porridge. I refused until the woman sternly told me that my sister had given her own blood to keep me alive.

“She shouldn’t have done such a foolish thing,” I wailed. “She could lose her baby too.”

“Then you’d best regain your strength so you can make sure she doesn’t.”

I had no argument for that, so I obediently opened my mouth and allowed the Wurrak woman to feed me.

When I’d eaten most of the porridge, I was strong enough to sit up and ask how my sister had given me her blood.

The process the healer described was fascinating.

I’d make sure to learn how to do this blood transfusion in case Nik needed it.

My sister returned and it took every ounce of my willpower not to start crying again.

“The healers here promised to tell no one why we really came here. We can stay until you’re healed, and then they’ll pretend we just arrived so we can tell the Lord of Wurrakia that we’re here on a diplomatic learning mission.

” The sympathy in her copper eyes made my throat tighten. “How are you feeling? I mean, besides…”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and managed a hoarse reply. “I hurt everywhere, but the healer gave me some medicine before breakfast, and it’s starting to take effect. It can’t touch the pain in my heart, though.”

“I know.” She sat down beside me.

“It’s gone,” I wailed. “My baby’s really gone.”

Nik enfolded me in her arms. “I’m sorry.”

The first week I spent mostly crying in Nik’s arms and sleeping in a drugged haze.

The only thing that made eating and drinking possible was my determination to get out of this hospital and make sure my sister’s baby would survive.

On the third day, I insisted on using the outhouse instead of the chamber pot.

The first few times, either Nik or a healer had to help me get up and walk, but by the sixth day, I was able to make it on my own.

At least there I could cry by myself as long as I didn’t take so long that people worried and came after me.

Once I was strong enough to leave the hospital, the healers escorted us to the Lord of Wurrakia’s castle.

We were welcomed with luxurious rooms and banquets and tourneys.

The distractions of jousting knights and dancing minstrels kept my tears at bay during the day, but at night I found myself going into Nik’s room and crying in her arms.

It felt like I’d lost more than the start of a baby.

I wondered if this new emptiness within me would always exist. Eventually, awareness of my sister’s growing belly pressed against my consciousness, reminding me of my new mission.

All my crying couldn’t be good for my growing niece.

Eventually, I managed to sequester my tears to my own room.

When the Lord and Lady or Wurrakia had gotten over the novelty of having two luminite princesses as guests and were no longer monopolizing our waking hours, Nik and I were able to venture out of the castle.

I returned to the hospital and spent every moment I could with the healers, especially the ones dedicated to pregnancy and childbirth.

“Are you sure you want to be doing this?” Nik asked me when I returned from assisting a midwife in delivering a baby. “Surely spending so much time around midwives and pregnant women can’t be good for your mental health.”

“Are you sure studying Wurrakian swordsmanship is good for your pregnancy?” I countered. “If I hadn’t overexerted myself, then maybe…”

“Don’t you say that!” Nik said fiercely.

“The healers told me that had nothing to do with it and I know they assured you more than once that your loss of the seedling wasn’t your fault.

In fact, women who remain active during their pregnancies have the best chance of a healthy delivery.

I was in the room when the head healer told you that. ”

“Fine.” I accepted the stalemate. “Then you keep up with your swordplay and I’ll continue to study midwifery.”

When we’d learned all we could, we returned to Medicia.

Nik had about two more months before she wouldn’t be able to hide her pregnancy anymore.

Our parents greeted us cheerfully, then, some of my grief must have shown in my face because Mother assured me that she’d received a message from the Jagwolfes and they’d be visiting next year.

I almost broke down crying right then and there.

Once more, I spent a lot of time with the healers and with various books.

Nik studied the books with me. We learned a lot more about ourselves than I’d expected.

Though I knew that luminite children were rare, since fertility periods came so sporadically, I didn’t know how rare they really were.

Apparently, both Nik’s and my first Yearnings came much earlier than usual.

Our pregnancies were anomalies as well, as pregnancy only occurred roughly half the time one mated during a Yearning.

And only half of those two-year-long pregnancies resulted in a child.

My heart gave another twinge of agony at knowing that I was the half that failed.

I was determined that Nik’s would succeed.

There was another negative thing we read that I wished I’d had the foresight to have considered sooner.

One of the books said some luminite clans had rejected half-breed children back in the days when they’d resided on Earth.

Those children were sent off to be raised amongst those who shared the other half of their blood, humans, faelin, and others.

They were almost never permitted to reside in Luminista if they transcended there after death.

At the time, I’d only thought of the Earthside Jagwolfes who Lucian had mentioned but never sought out when he accompanied me on rescue missions.

I hadn’t considered how Nik would react with the halfling she carried.

After all, Nik had no more interest in residing in Luminista than I did.

So why would it matter that her daughter possibly wouldn’t be welcome there?

Now, after reading about the fate of halflings, I realized that our own parents might not view Nik’s situation as sympathetically as I’d hoped.

When Nik’s belly began to protrude to the point where soon she wouldn’t be able to hide it with her clothing, I woke her up and we flew to the secret cave where she and Del had their trysts.

“You need to decide what you’re going to do about my niece.” Kerainne declared.

Nik frowned at my tone and at first looked like she’d tell me off, then her stern expression crumpled into worry. “I’m not comfortable with anyone knowing about my pregnancy.”

“I’d thought as much, given that Delgarias is gone, so you don’t have the option of going with him if our parents decide to reject their grandchild.

” Pacing across the cave floor, I finally told her what had been on my mind since my miscarriage.

“I’ll help you hide and help you with the birth.

That’s why I’ve been studying birthing. And if you want to take the baby and run away, I’ll help you with that as well. ”

And so we brought our things to the cave and erected an even more powerful shield around it and the surrounding forest and valley.

Then we set about turning the cave into a comfortable home.

Living in isolation with Nik helped distract me from the pain of my loss, especially when Tiana grew big enough for me to feel her kicking in my sister’s belly.

It also provided me an excuse to hide from Lucian.

I still didn’t know how to tell him that I’d been pregnant.

Would he blame me for failing? Or would he just be as devastated as I was?

The idea of giving him the pain I felt was far worse than merely angering him.

The day I delivered my sister’s baby was one of the happiest days of my life.

Succeeding in helping this baby take her first breath eased the pain of my own failure somewhat.

Nik was hesitant to leave the cave and bring her daughter home to meet her grandparents.

I was completely fine with the delay because it meant we could have Tiana to ourselves for a little while longer.

Then, Nik had the insane idea to put her baby in a time stasis container so that she’d still be a baby when Delgarias returned from his secret mission to become an immortal. I told her that was a terrible idea, but she refused to listen to me.

However, my fury at her foolishness gave me the courage to return to Luminista and face Lucian.

Though I still lacked the courage to tell him about my miscarriage.